


SERE: Survival

by Magpies_Treasury



Series: Survival, Evasion, Rescue, and Escape [1]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Blackmail, Child Abuse, Drug Use, Dubious Consent, First Time, Hand Jobs, M/M, Military School AU, Psychological Torture, RP, Teacher-Student Relationship, Torture Simulation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-06
Updated: 2016-01-10
Packaged: 2018-05-12 04:24:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 15
Words: 107,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5652361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Magpies_Treasury/pseuds/Magpies_Treasury
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sebastian Moran is a student at Magnussen's military boarding school where he meets Jim, the son of one of the instructors. Together they are pulled into Magnussen's blackmail games, seeking freedom and hoping to survive his plans for them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Little Bit of Breaking is Not Enough

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome! This is an RP written by myself and Stormy! This is our longest ever RP and it will feature as part of a series. This is also our darkest fic so far, if you are familiar with our previous submissions you have an idea of what is ahead. I'll be updating the tags as I go along and each chapter will have an individualized set of trigger warnings in the end notes. If you are worried about any TWs check there first, and please let me know if you feel that I've missed something and want it added in. 
> 
> This story deals with a corrupt military academy, styled after the boarding schools in America. My father served in the American Air Force as a survival instructor with the SERE program. That is where we got our title from. Some of the torture or interrogation techniques were from stories he told me about his training and I took a lot of knowledge from his old text books. This school is owned by Magnussen as a way to control the children of important people, he blackmails the children into working for him or turning on their parents in exchange for freedom. As you can imagine that leads to some pretty dark content in a school environment where abuse is called training. We hope you enjoy and feel free to comment with any concerns and questions you might have!

"Men do not naturally kill." Magnussen said, his knife slowly chopping through the steak on his plate, "It's not... a normal urge. Not a usual thing." Sebastian gave what he hoped was a polite nod, pushing around undercooked potatoes on his plate, trying to avoid his father’s eye. “To make a man kill, to turn a man into a soldier, you have to break him down.” Magnussen finished cutting his steak and then delicately placed his knife and fork on the plate, facing forwards, signaling he’d finished, “Break him down and then take the component pieces and build them up into something that can fight, can kill.”

  
Augustus Moran gave a laugh that sounded awkward in the silence. “Well. I hope you won’t need to break my Sebastian!”

  
Magnussen’s eyes turned on him and Sebastian forced himself to stare back, to the milky white eyes behind glasses that hid them from the world. He forced himself to sneer to say, “He won’t.”

  
Magnussen’s expression didn’t flicker and Augustus managed another false laugh, “Well, maybe a little bit of breaking would not be a bad thing, eh?”

The waiter stepped forward to take the plates, Sebastian moodily dropped his knife and fork down, Magnussen covered his glass with his hand as another waiter stepped forward to pour wine and Sebastian scowled as he was only allowed water, still too young to drink. “Sebastian, you may leave the table.” Augustus said eventually. 

Magnussen watched him get down, and then held out a hand to stop him as he walked by and murmured, “No.”

“No what?” He was being rude now, deliberately, and knew he’d pay for it later but didn’t care.

Magnussen’s breath was warm in his ear “A little bit of breaking is not enough.”

* * *

 

  
It was popularly believed that Sebastian Moran had been sent to Military school as a punishment. He might have been bright, but was chronically lazy, always in trouble, expelled twice from separate private schools, and almost arrested on numerous occasions.

  
The first time he arrived Sebastian thought it was a punishment as well. Then they’d barked some orders at him, handed him a rifle and suddenly he was home. The problems he’d faced in school just didn’t exist here, in a world that seemed to have been built with Sebastian Moran in mind. Bullying was practically encouraged, fights were ignored, and he hardly had the energy in the evenings to go out and cause riots. At home, he’d been in trouble for shooting family valuables, here they taught him how to use a gun. His initial wariness at the sergeant turned into a mutual respect when he realised that, unlike his father, the man could recognise his potential and seemed impressed by it.

  
It didn’t stop Sebastian getting in trouble, not even military school could do that. But when the sergeant tore him a new one he listened, when he was sent out for punishments he took them, and when the sergeant occasionally briefly mumbled the name of a new recruit who could maybe do with a bit of a slap Sebastian was happy to oblige. He thrived, developed, grew, even when put in with bigger boys he emerged on top – using strength, a certain amount of cunning, the arrogant entitlement of aristocracy and sheer bloody-mindedness to gain control. He stopped going home for the holidays, his father didn’t complain.

  
The only irritation in an otherwise perfect existence was that sometimes Magnussen visited the school. It was owned by him, after all, and Sebastian supposed he had every right to visit it but he truly hated the man. The sergeant did too, and it was another point on which they bonded. There was nothing either of them could do though, as Magnussen watched the men, and watched Sebastian.

  
“He’s dangerous that one.” The sergeant said, as Sebastian scrubbed his way industriously through the mess hall for shooting at Magnussen’s car as he’d left. “Head down and don’t get his attention.”

  
“I already have his attention.” Sebastian pointed out. “And when do I keep my head down?”

  
The sergeant sighed and slapped the back of his head, making him grin, “Never. You’re bloody hopeless. I want this bastard hall shining by the time I get back.” He gave Sebastian a quick smirk and nodded to the office door. “If you don’t want to do it on your own, saw a scrawny young lad arrive an hour ago. He’s still in there... might be willing to help you with a bit of... persuasion.” He left to go on manoeuvres and Sebastian looked at the shadowed outline behind the door and grinned.

  
Jim starred dully at the wall, even after sitting here for an hour waiting it still hadn’t hit him yet that he was really here. His mother had died just twelve hours ago, killed herself probably but his understanding was that the doctors had called it an accidental overdose. How thoughtful of them. It couldn’t have been more than a few hours after she passed that men in uniform came to take him away, he’d fought them of course – even knowing why there were there for him, that didn’t mean Jim wanted to _go._  But they’d dragged him back to the flat he shared with his mother, told him to pack a bag. When he was through they’d searched it and thrown out half the stuff, books mostly. They weren’t allowed books that weren’t part of the curriculum at the school. It had taken them a long time to drive him here, from Ireland they’d taken a ferry to cross the water. Now Jim was here with his bag sitting at his feet, still wearing the same clothes stained with his mother’s vomit and desperately needing a sleep or shower. They brought him here because his biological father served as an instructor at the school and he was Jim’s only remaining family.

  
Jim had been conceived in Ireland when his father had been active in the military and traveling, before he became an instructor. James Moriarty had a fling with Jim’s mother and then left her when he found out she was pregnant. Her parents effectively disowned her from what little they had and she was on her own. When Jim was born she still gave him his father’s name, something he would later hate her for a little bit. His mum had to work to take care of the two of them on their own. Jim knew she resented him, even though she rarely showed it outright. It was true though. She’d tried to hide it, but Jim was bright and insightful. It wasn’t difficult to work out.

  
Later his father had wanted to be in the picture and his mother had been happy to have him back if it meant a steady pay check and a place to live. She’d left him four, maybe five years later and at least had the decency to take Jim with her. He hadn’t seen his father since then – it had been about six years. He couldn’t believe this was happening and Jim curled up into a ball, tucking his knees up to hide his face – god damn his mother, she knew this would happen to him, knew what she was leaving him to and hadn’t cared. Or maybe at one point she had and everything had just gotten to be too much for her.

  
Finally a door opened and Jim looked up from his defensive position in the chair, dreading this confrontation – but it was just one of the cadets, a student. Jim sat quietly and didn’t say anything, assuming the other boy wasn’t there for him.

  
Sebastian frowned at the boy inside. They got some weedy ones joining the school - sometimes he suspected as part of Magnussen's higher designs to punish their fathers, but he'd never seen anyone as small and skinny as Jim before. Maybe the boy was just there delivering a message, although he had a bag with him that seemed half full of clothes and small worthless belongings. Either way, he could probably clean a floor. He cleared his throat and then held out the scrubbing brush, "Hey - don't suppose you could give me a hand? Floor needs cleaning." He practically loomed over Jim, "Sure you wouldn't mind helping, it'll only take a minute or so."

  
Jim ignored Sebastian, not even turning to look at him – just staring at the wall blankly. “Fuck off, I’m waiting for someone. I’m not doing your chores.” His voice was pretty monotonous but Jim thought he managed to get his point across. The boy was just looking for someone to bully into doing his work and Jim made it clear he wasn’t an easy mark. 

Sebastian raised an eyebrow and then gave him a little slap round the face - more as a warning than aimed to hurt. "Yeah, well you can wait while cleaning the floors." He knocked Jim on the back of the head with the brush. "Anyone vaguely senior is out on manouvres with the older kids. Won't be back for a while, you might as well help me." He smirked, "It's your easiest option right now."

  
The boy slapped his face and then knocked him in the back of the head with the wooden brush, Jim turned on him furiously but his expression was still blank, everything just built under the surface. He looked the boy directly in the eye and growled out, “You don’t scare me.” He was meant to wait here and he wasn’t going out of his way to help a bully who was too lazy to do his own goddamn chores.

  
Sebastian sighed and rolled his eyes, feeling irritated but also a little impressed that the boy hadn't just folded, "That's because I'm not being scary. The scary part is when I threaten to tear your balls off while repeatedly smacking your head against the wall with your nose bleeding. This is the non-scary part." He backhanded Jim's face, a little harder, "C'mon, it's just a sweeping brush, I'm not asking you to suck me off."

  
Jim’s face turned with the blow and his rage spiked but smoldered. “This is the part where I’m being polite. Hit me again and I’ll stop being polite.” He threw Sebastian’s words back in his face. If the boy spent half as much effort as he put into trying to get Jim to do his chores for him as he put into actually scrubbing the floors he might have been done by now. Jim wouldn’t back down though, he was angry and hurting and if he caved once then they’d never let him get away with telling them no again.

  
"Oh, what will you do?" Sebastian gave a laugh, part of him genuinely curious. "Let me guess - you'll tell daddy. That one doesn't work in here. Your father can be the Lord of Fucking Berkshire and you'll still clean the bloody floor when I need you to. Maybe you think you can tell the sergeant. Go ahead, be my guest, and I'll be given another damn floor to clean while you spend the next week in the hospital ward." He backhanded Jim again, pleased at the flush of red developing on his cheek. "I mean, you'll do it eventually. It’s up to you how much I get to hurt you first."

  
Sebastian hit him again, harder this time and Jim stood abruptly, eye level barely coming up to meet the boy’s shoulder as his face twisted with rage before he lunged for the secretary’s desk, grabbed the stapler, flipped it open and crashed the thing into the side of Sebastian’s ear. He hit him with it again in the mouth and once more over his eyebrow. Jim threw the stapler away before taking up a fancy pen, perfectly happy to stab the boy with it next if he couldn’t move fast enough to stop Jim first.

  
Sebastian gave a roar of pain as the staple stamped into the side of his head, and then suddenly there was blood in his mouth and a cutting pain over one eye. Grabbing at the front of the annoying little prick's shirt he slammed him up against the desk, swearing again as a fancy fountain pen dug into his shoulder and grabbing the wrist that held it, crushing it in his fist. His head crashed forward to head-butt Jim hard, the staple above his eye still sticking into the skin, "You little fucking _bitch!"_

  
Jim struggled violently as Sebastian bent him over the table, the sharp corner of the desk digging into his back viciously and he bit down on his lip to keep the pained noise down while Sebastian crushed his wrist in his hand. He saw stars as Sebastian head-butted him and the back of his head cracked back against the mahogany desk and for a moment he went limp and dropped the pen. Suddenly Jim brought his knee up hard into Sebastian’s crotch and grabbed for anything he could use as a weapon on the desk – paperweight, some kind of marble ball – Jim picked it up and hit Sebastian in the shoulder with it. He could have hit him in the head but he wanted to avoid doing any permanent damage if he could help it, Jim would be in enough trouble as it was but he wasn’t going to lie back and take the abuse from another student either.

  
Sebastian doubled over with a whine as the pain exploded between his legs, gasping and swallowing desperately to prevent himself from being sick, he fell hard as the paperweight crashed into his shoulder, still struggling to breathe and orient himself as he struggled on the floor. The strange boy appeared to have stopped hitting him at least and he managed a few deep breaths, rubbing at his balls gently and looking up. He was warier now, but there was no way he could lose to a skinny little scrap like that. "You are going to pay for hitting me in the nuts." He growled, pushing himself back up and keeping a wary eye on the paperweight. Part of him knew that the most sensible thing to do would be to go right back to scrubbing the floors, but his pride was wounded now.

  
“This is where you get scary?” Jim kept hold of the paper weight cautiously, really hoping the other boy didn’t attack again. He didn’t want to use it repeatedly because it was effectually a rock but he didn’t want to put it down because the other boy would take it up and bash his brains in. “I suppose you’d best hope you’re scarier than me then.” Jim wasn’t sorry he’d kneed the boy in the balls, he didn’t observe standard rules for fighting, for him it was just not wanting to be hurt. He could already feel a pretty severe headache coming on and his nose and mouth was bleeding from the head-butt. Jim kept his injured wrist close to his side in case he needed to fight again and defend it.

  
"This is where you get _fucked."_ Sebastian snapped viciously back, reaching up to rub at his ear and hissing as he felt sticky blood. Not a huge amount, thankfully, but more than he could go back to camp with leaving his dignity intact. He shifted his weight a little and then lunged forward, one hand aiming to grab, or at least buffer, the paperweight, the other swinging around in a fist aimed straight for Jim's nose. All he needed, he knew, was one lucky shot and the boy would be out - this was getting far too dangerous to tease with, he just wanted Jim to _stop challenging him._

  
Jim tried to dodge out of the way but he hit the desk again and Sebastian’s blow landed. He groaned dizzily and could already feel his eye swelling. Jim let the paperweight fall out of his hand but he stumbled forward, just colliding with Sebastian but it was enough that he lost his balance and they ended up rolling on the floor together.

  
Sebastian swore as he was knocked to the floor again, pleased that he'd managed to get the paperweight out of the picture and rolling them both over to press Jim's face hard into the tiled floor, "Alright now you little _cunt_  - maybe now I can really make you pay for... Sir!" The pressure on Jim was suddenly lifted as Sebastian scrambled to his feet, standing to attention and saluting smartly as the Captain walked in with Jim's father, looking surprised and confused at the scene and barking out, "What the hell happened here, why is there blood all over my desk?"

  
Jim couldn’t help yelping as Sebastian pressed his swelling eye and bleeding nose into the ground and he bucked and wiggled hard trying to get free until suddenly the weight was gone and Jim could breathe again. When he spoke it was with a heavy denasality. “This one attacked me.” He froze over when he saw his father and kept his eyes on the ground furiously, not able to look at him without wanting to light something on fire. Jim quickly got up off the floor, thinking it was a bad idea to be underfoot.

  
The Captain turned to Sebastian angrily, "You attacked this boy?"

  
Sebastian stared straight ahead and barked back a "Sir, yes Sir." Not really seeing the point in denying it. Clearly someone had attacked the boy, and there was nobody else here.  
The Captain looked at Jim and then waved his hand at Sebastian, "Dismissed. We will discuss this later." When Sebastian had left he turned to Jim, looking him up and down, "You better get to the medical tent, you look pretty damaged. Would you like your father to take you there?"

  
“No,” Jim answered immediately, feeling pretty sulky about his situation just now. At least he wasn’t being punished for fighting. “Just tell me where it is, I’ll find it myself.” Jim bent over slowly to grab his half empty duffle. “…Sorry about the mess.” Jim added as an afterthought, still looking anywhere but at his father.

  
The Captain frowned, glanced at Moriarty and then stood back from the door. "Head along the track down the hill, first left in the wooded area. Our medical wing is there, ask for the doctor. He'll get you all patched up... then head to reception to pick up your locker key and uniform." He hesitated, putting a hand on Jim's chest as he headed out, "I'm sorry your first experience here was so unpleasant, but I'm sure you'll settle in soon enough." He managed a smile with his face and then let Jim go, turning to Jim's father once he'd left. "There... might be a problem there. With bullying. If your son can't stand up for himself, although the cadet he was fighting seemed fairly injured I must admit."

  
Jim didn’t catch the rest of whatever the Captain had said to his father just stared straight ahead while rage burned inside him and ate away at his organs like acid. It was maybe lucky that his bag wasn’t very heavy because his body wasn’t in the best shape. The captain’s directions were good and Jim was able to find his way easily. The building was pretty small and seemed to double up as the locker room with bathrooms and showers down the hallway. Jim knocked cautiously on the door frame when he saw the man inside, reading a book. He was short, only a few inches taller than Jim, with sandy blonde hair. “Uh… I’ve been sent in for medical treatment?” He just really hoped his nose wasn’t broken.

  
The man inside looked up, his eyes widening in shock as he saw Jim, hurriedly putting down his book and coming over, "Hi - John Watson, come on in, goodness what happened to you?" He frowned at the injuries, closing the door of the little medical room behind them and running a bowl of water, handing it over to Jim with a flannel. "Wash your face for me, then I'll see if anything needs stitches, or setting. You look like you've been in the wars. What was it... or maybe I should ask _who_  it was..." He gave a pained little sigh as he noticed the way Jim was favouring his injured wrist. "What other damage is there?"

  
Jim settled down in a chair, not feeling the need to get up on the cot for examination. “Got in a fight. Slapped me around for a bit then he grabbed my wrist, head-butted me in the face… he might have gotten a few extra hits in. Can’t really remember.” The incident was a bit of a blur to Jim who had a head injury and adrenaline mixing with the panic at seeing his father again. “You should have seen the other guy.” Jim grinned and his lip split open.

  
"Yes, well I wish I had, I'd have a good few words for him." John balled up some cotton wool and gently pushed it into Jim's nostrils, looking at his nose and nodding as he noticed it wasn't broken, just badly bruised. "Nose is fine, let’s see your wrist, ahhh." He shook his head, "That looks bad. Stay there." He turned to get more bandages and then sharply turned back as Sebastian Moran sloped awkwardly and sulkily into the room. "Moran, wait outside! I've already got someone in here..." He frowned at Seb, "Is that a _staple_  in your head - I, you know, I don't want to know. Wait outside, you're not in immediate danger of expiring and I'm busy."

  
Jim tensed up when Sebastian came in although he felt the warm glow of satisfaction when he saw the state of the boy’s face. “I hope I ruptured his testicles,” Jim growled low enough that only John would hear. “If he broke my wrist I’m going to kill him.” Sebastian left and Jim let himself relax again, “I imagine I’ll be seeing quite a lot of you, uhh… Dr. Watson?” Jim wasn’t sure if he was a doctor, or if he should address him by his military title.

  
"Sebastian Moran did this to you..." John hesitated and then looked out the door slightly incredulously, "You did _that_  to Sebastian Moran? Please be careful - that boy is the reason I see half the patients I do. He's a true fighter, unfortunately he spreads it about, and isn't afraid of repercussions. Not that I'm allowed to deliver any repercussions myself, if I could I'd have expelled him long ago." He pressed Jim's wrist a few times then shook his head, "Not broken but it is sprained. You'll need to keep it bandaged and try not to use it. Yes... Doctor Watson. I'm not a soldier, although I have had basic training."

  
“I don’t appreciate getting smacked around,” Jim was a little disappointed that the one person who was at all sympathetic to him wasn’t allowed to punish Sebastian. “Can’t you make him clean bedpans or something?” Jim asked rhetorically and groaned a little as he reached up to poke at the lump on the back of his head. “Tomorrow is supposed to be my first day… shit.” Jim wasn’t looking forward to the strenuous exercise when he was injured.

  
"If you need a note I can give you one." John replied, shaking his head at the thought of punishing Sebastian, "No... punishments come from his sergeant only - and Sebastian gets on very well with him. Not to say he goes easy on the boy but he's spared some of the worst of it. I really would try and stay out of his way if you possibly can." He finished bandaging Jim's wrist and then frowned as Jim's father walked in. "Captain Moriarty, can I help you? One of your boys isn't... damaged again, are they?"

  
Jim frowned and shook his head, eyes glazing over as a wave of dizziness hit. “Uh, no that’s alright. I’m sure they’ll understand.” He sighed and stared at the wall blankly, “My mother just died.” He didn’t know where that came from, but it was the first time he said it out loud and he blinked hard as his eyes got hot. Jim tensed up and shook off John’s hands as his father came in through the door, looking Jim over slowly from his black eye to his swollen nose and mouth and finally his bandaged wrist before looking back at his face.

He spoke measuredly, with ice in his tone. “Come along James. Doctor Watson needs to see to the other cadet and you need to get your head shaved before classes tomorrow.” Jim’s breath caught and he swallowed hard. “There’s a lump on my head… sir. I’m not sure it’s a good idea.” Jim looked to the doctor imploringly, he didn’t want this at all. It was completely dehumanizing.

"Oh..." Was all John managed before Moriarty entered. He hesitated at the man's orders and then finally gave a little shake of the head. "I'm afraid you'll have to shave him in here, if he does pass out I want to tend to him instantly and he may still have a concussion. I need to write an explanatory note as well - he's in no state to do much physical at the moment, and I really don't want a semi-conscious vomiting cadet on my hands. Moran!" Sebastian sloped in, looking confused to see the place so crowded. "Sit down, I'll get that staple out your head and make sure you're disinfected." Silently he handed a razor and wash bowl over to Moriarty.

  
Jim’s finger’s automatically twisted into the material of John’s medical coat sleeve but his father noticed the action and Jim let go before ducking his gaze again. Sebastian came in and Jim glared fiercely, “You’ll have to check him for testicular damage I’m afraid. I swear I heard one of them pop.” Jim sneered, hoping to further humiliate the other boy. It didn’t make him feel any better when his father casually slapped the back of his head and Jim inhaled sharply as he aggravated the bruises.

  
“Be quiet James.” Moriarty found an outlet and plugged the electric clippers in before running them briefly to test they were working. Jim hunched in on himself, struggling not to reach up and touch his curls one last time before they were sheared off. He didn’t beg or fight it though, he knew that he didn’t have any say in this discussion.

  
Sebastian gave a snarl and stuck his middle finger up at Jim, collapsing irritated down onto the chair and glaring at Jim as Watson tugged the remaining staple out of his eyebrow, "Yeah, yeah, you're bloody lucky Captain Moriarty came in when he did, or you'd not be sitting there so upright, that's all I'm saying." He got a cold glance from Jim's father and a furious one from Watson and quietened down, still sneering across at Jim as John wiped down his injuries with disinfectant, "You just want to see my balls you little pervert, don't you. Get off on it would you?"

  
John pressed a little harder than he needed to at Sebastian's shoulder and snapped, "Keep still - how can I feel if your shoulder's broken if you keep waving your hand about?" 

“Did you just threaten to rape me?” Jim asked coolly glaring and doing a pretty remarkable impersonation of his father’s look.

  
The Captain pressed John out of the way and squatted down in front of Sebastian, boxing him in with his arms and leaning against the armrests of the chair. “Moran if you imply my son is some sort of faggot again I can promise you that you’ll be helping me with demonstrations in class for the rest of the week, are we clear?” Moriarty gave a little smile and gave him a pat to the side of the head, over the injured ear. Jim kept his eyes on the wall ahead of him and couldn’t even take joy in his father’s threatening Sebastian. Moriarty turned the clippers on and started shaving Jim’s hair abruptly without setting any kind of towel around him to keep his clothes or the floor clean. Jim startled but sat still as he clenched his jaw hard and twisted his hands into fists. He jumped and hissed when Moriarty nicked him with the clippers. “So sorry,” he muttered insincerely before dragging the clippers over the bump and bruised area of his scalp.

  
"What? Fucking no, why the hell would I want to get my dick anywhere near you? I just threatened to break your legs you crazy bitch..." Sebastian fell silent as Moriarty Sr. approached him, scowling at the floor and then hissing as the hand patted over his ear. So far the work they'd done in Moriarty's class had been survival based - managing in the forest, underwater training, Sebastian had done well and enjoyed it, even the tougher moments. He'd been warned by the sergeant though, that it was about to get a lot harder. "Well don't look at me, your _son_  was the one who wanted to look at my balls - wait, that's your fucking son?" He gave a disbelieving laugh and then winced as John banged down his hand on the table.

  
"That's enough! With all due respect, Captain, I would ask you not to threaten anyone within the safety of the medical unit. Moran, you will remain silent until you are dismissed." Sebastian scowled but did as he was ordered, shooting Jim a smirk when his father wasn't looking.

  
Jim didn’t even notice Sebastian’s glare he was focused entirely on not wincing and keeping his hands from shaking. He was a tough little bastard but in the last twelve hours he’d lost his mother and his hair, he’d been forced to move to another country and attend a controversial military academy where his abusive father worked, and he’d gotten the snot beaten out of him by one of the other cadets. It had just been a rough day. His father was thorough with the clippers, leaving only dark stubble behind for his buzz cut. He was sure he looked a mess with his bruised and swelling face and clipped hair. Moriarty brushed his hand over the stubble once, dusting off some spare clippings before bending down and pressing a sardonic kiss to the top of Jim’s head. “Now come on Jimmy, time to get you into your uniform.”

  
It was all mocking of course and Jim got his back up, trying to quell a shudder and not react at all. “Thank you, Doctor Watson.” Jim muttered dully as he stood and brushed the hair clippings off his shirt and onto the floor. He wanted desperately to reach up and touch his hair, like when he was a kid and lost baby tooth and poked at the gap obsessively with his tongue, but he wouldn’t give his father that satisfaction. Jim was exhausted and emotionally drained and just wanted to shower and go to sleep.

  
Sebastian watched him, starting to feel just a little sorry for the new boy, who looked completely battered and yet determined not to fold or break. Moriarty Sr. nodded at Watson, gave Sebastian an annoyed glance, and then shepherded Jim out. Sebastian frowned as they went and then gave a chuckle. "Fuck, imagine Moriarty having a son, that didn't quite click first time I saw them. That means someone actually agreed to have sex with the prick - oww hey!"

  
John poked at his shoulder and then shook his head, "If I were you Sebastian, I'd leave both of the Moriarty's alone. The father has the power and ability to do you quite a lot of damage and the son has already injured you more than anyone here except yourself. No... shut up." He raised a hand as Sebastian opened his mouth to protest. "You’re not my favourite cadet, but I'd still rather not have you in here on a regular basis with stationary embedded in your skull. Now drop your trousers, I really should take a look at your balls - just to check there's nothing more than bruising."

  
Moriarty Sr. stayed silent as they left the medical building, glancing sideways at his son as the reception area came into view. "I thought you should know." He said formally, "That even though you are my son I can offer you no special favours here - no preferred treatment. That is not how we work. You are incredibly lucky to get a place here, every other boy has had his parents paying a considerable sum to stay. I hope you'll take advantage of this opportunity - maybe it'll make something of you, god knows your mother never did." 

Jim couldn’t help a snort at that, feeling braver somehow now that they were alone and no one else was around to see if he got smacked. “Right. Because you were always going out of your way to do me favors.” He hadn’t seen his man for years, hadn’t heard from him once since Jim and his mom had left – which was good because that was the whole purpose of running. He tried to keep a sneer off his face as Moriarty insulted his mum, “She’s been gone barely twelve hours, the least you could do is show some fucking respect. She did the best that she could.” Which wasn’t a lot. Jim tried not to be resentful, but he was allowed to criticize his mother. He wouldn’t allow it from this man who had definitely contributed to making her worse.

  
Moriarty gave a sneer and slapped the bruised back of his head as he spoke. "If you weren't so close to being old enough to fend for yourself I'd have been happy to stick you in a foster home and forget about you. As it is I'm allowing you into a _prestigious_  private school." He didn't say that it was no choice of his own. Magnussen had read through all of Jim's records with pale inscrutable eyes and then pretty much ordered him to take the boy on. "If you expect me to show respect to a whore who got herself knocked up with my child you seriously underestimate the kind of things I believe worthy of earning my respect." He dropped Jim off at reception with a nod to the cadet who was waiting there. "My son. Jim Moriarty. He's almost sixteen so he'll be going in with Division Delta, he's practically their age." Everyone in Division Delta was seventeen or eighteen but Jim didn’t know that. Moriarty gave Jim a condescending little pat on the head, "I'll see you in lessons, try not to get yourself any further injuries."

  
Jim didn’t reply after the smack to the back of the head. He felt the need to push Moriarty, not in classes where he had a lot of power but as his son, to see what kind of treatment he could expect here – if he would be better in his work environment or all the worse because he already had more protection and power. “You can’t despise her for being a whore when you were the one that paid for her,” Jim sneered anyway. He was eternally fed up of this man punishing his mother for choices that she’s made when she was young and trying to support herself. When they reached the reception hall Jim was interested to hear he’d been moved up a year – probably less to do with his grades, which weren’t great, and more to do with his test scores which were a better reflection of his intelligence. Moriarty wanted to push him and see him do well. He didn’t answer his father’s goodbye and just followed after the cadet with his head down. “I want to shower and sleep, how can I make that happen?”

  
"You're Morairty's son?" The cadet asked in amazement, shaking his head, "Wow, you'll be popular. There's communal showers attached to the sleeping barracks - nobody's in them at the moment so I guess you can use them. Wash and change into your uniform. You don't really need to do anything until classes start tomorrow. I'll show you your bed. You'll get Lewis's. He folded. Moran beat the shit out of him every morning and now he's running back home to mummy." He gave a snigger and opened the door to the sleeping barracks. "At the end on the left, the one with the trunk open. You keep all your stuff in the trunk and you keep the trunk under the bed. That's your personal stuff. It's all you're allowed."

  
“Popular?” Jim asked in confusion, not sure if he was hoping the boy was being sarcastic or not. “Thanks then. I think I’ll just… turn in.” The hall was full of row upon row of uncomfortable looking bunk beds, Jim had managed a bottom bunk somehow, which he tried to be pleased about. He was not pleased, but not surprised, that there was zero privacy in the barracks. Or the showers, it turned out. Jim had taken a ‘sleep uniform’ out of his trunk, just a plain white shirt and grey sleep pants before making his way to the showers. He sighed and was grateful that at least no one was around this time. He had shower sandals on to avoid fungus on the floors and turned the water on hot before grabbing up the bar of soap they’d given him and starting to lather up.

  
Sebastian sloped back to the barracks when Watson had finished examining and scolding him, tugging his shirt over his head with a groan and flinging it on his top bunk before noticing in surprise that the trunk of the bottom bunk was now full and under the bed next to his. He heard the showers running as well, frowning and sauntering over, leaning against the open door and watching Jim, "What are you doing in here, squirt? There's no way you're the right age, you look fucking twelve. Piss off before the big boys get back and I'll smack around whoever thought it was a funny joke to stick you in here." He didn't hold any long term grudge against Jim, being far too self-centered and lazy for grudges. As far as he was concerned, their fight was over and he'd won.

  
Jim whirled his head around, scowling and resisted the urge to cover himself. He refused to be embarrassed since he’d have to get used to being seen like this regularly. “What the fuck did you call me? You’re more than welcome to have a go at my father – this was his idea.” Wanker. Why the fuck he put Jim in with the Moran boy he couldn’t guess. Probably wanted him killed off so he wouldn’t have to deal with him anymore. Jim turned back around and shampooed his hair, deciding to ignore Sebastian for now. Maybe he’d go away.

  
"Yeah well even if he did you shouldn't be in here." Sebastian watched him washing his hair, giving a little smile as the suds slid down to a cute little bum and then shrugged, heading back into the barracks and swinging himself up onto the bed. "Well it's none of my business if a dumb skinny little fuck like you wants in here. How the hell did your dad even get laid? He's miserable as sin, ugly as hell and pretty fucking sadistic. What was your mother, a mental patient?"

  
Jim rinsed out his hair and stepped out of the showers with a towel around his waist as he dug through his things for some clothes. He slammed the door of the trunk down hard, trying to work out if he could smother the other boy with his pillow in his sleep without drawing attention. Not fucking likely, you couldn’t have a wank there was so little privacy here. “Shut the fuck up Moran.”

  
"I'd say 'make me' but I'm actually pretty sure you'd try." Seb propped himself on his elbows, looking down at Jim and smirking, shaking his head as Jim changed into his military issue clothes. "Look at you, look the same as the rest of us, only smaller and more like a plague victim. Mags's own little toy soldiers. Ha." He shook his head, looking around at the room, "This is the kind of deprivation only the very rich can afford, you know? How much is old Moriarty taking home to get you in here? Didn't realise choking kids and dropping them in the middle of Dartmoor to find their own way home earned you so much."

  
Jim scowled at him a little as Seb criticized his appearance and then smirked, “Funny, you didn’t seem to mind so much just a minute ago.” He pulled on his sleep clothes, hurting and exhausted and just sad. “You’re all fucking crazy sending your kids here willingly. I’ve no idea how much he makes. I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s some kind of discount.” Jim crawled into bed and pulled the taunt covers over himself, having a difficult time with the blankets when they were tucked in against the mattress so tight. “Now leave me alone, I want to sleep.”

  
"Fine, sleep. I'm having a wank." Sebastian grinned, imagining the face of the boy below him and then peered over the edge to look at the curled up figure in the bed below. "Ask me nicely and I'll go into the showers for it..." he teased, reaching down to poke Jim, "Jesus, Moriarty's son and a skinny little bastard, _and_  you don't want to be here. You'll be eaten alive. I'll have to get you your own stapler. You could keep it in your trunk, bring it out when the boys start pissing around." He laughed, his usual good mood returning. Right now annoying Jim was more fun than hitting Jim, so he was happy to do that. "What's your name anyway, James was it? I can't keep thinking of you as the little Moriarty." 

“His name is ‘James,’ I’m Jim.” He didn’t especially want to talk to this boy, but this was something he would insist on. Going by Jim was his act of rebellion and he didn’t want everyone to get in the habit of calling him something else. “Fuck off, don’t call me bastard, and if you take your cock out in my presence I’ll cut it off.” It came out sounding a bit more sulky and sleepy than he meant it to. “I can take care of myself, as you worked out. Fuck, goddamn this bed!” Jim just tore the blanket up and off of the bed, ruining the pristinely made sheets. At least now he could fit himself under the blanket instead of feeling trapped between the taunt covers and the mattress.

  
Sebastian laughed again, swinging himself off the bed and yanking the bottom of the blanket out from the bed before lying it down to cover Jim properly, "I call everyone bastard. If you can't deal with that you'll last even less time than I thought. Get some sleep Jim, you’ll need it." He patted the little shaven head and then grabbed at his towel, "I'll take a wank in the showers then, last thing I need is my cock stapled to my leg, Watson might have a facial expression." With that he sloped off to the showers.

  
Jim almost smiled at the joke but couldn’t quite manage it. For all his bravado he was genuinely not sure the he’d be able to make it in this environment and tried to resign himself to wandering around with injuries all the time and trying to both keep his head down and not bow to anyone. He settled down and his eyes drifted closed as he heard the shower start up. The water on tiles could have been rain on a window and for a moment he could pretend that he was still in Ireland and that the last twelve hours had just been a dream. 

Sebastian turned on the shower, slid his trousers down, and started to stroke himself. He usually defaulted to men he'd seen in films and television - the strong growling action hero's or sun-roughened Wild West cowboys. But today, as well as that, there were flashes of a pale curved little bottom with soap suds running down the crack, the snarl of a dark haired little crazy thing rushing at him with a paperweight. He gave a groan, closing his eyes and using a hand to support him leaning forwards against the tiles. He could not have the hots for Moriarty's son, not least because the sergeant would probably be all in favour of roughing the kid up until he was sent home in a cast. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: violence, mentions of suicide and child abuse


	2. Making a Complete Pig’s Ear of It

Jim slept so deeply that he didn’t even wake up when the rest of the cadets came in from the library and study hall to shower and get to bed. An alarm went off before five, everyone got up and began getting ready quickly, throwing on their uniform and making up their beds perfectly. “What the fuck is that ungodly noise?” Jim cracked his eyes and rolled over, pulling the blankets over his head. It was way too fucking early for this shit.

  
Sebastian swung himself out of bed as soon as the bell started, his muscles moving almost automatically to make the bed and fold his sheets. He grinned at Jim; the only person in the room looking confused and disheveled, "Morning bell, skinny latte. Get up, get dressed, fold blankets. It's your first day so maybe you won't be punished for folding them wrong. Maybe." He smirked and finished dressing, standing formally in front of his bed to attention, ready for inspection, making sure his uniform was completely straight.

  
Jim groaned in response and stayed under the blankets for another thirty seconds while he tried to push himself to wakefulness. Eventually he kicked his feet out and stood wobbly, hissing as the cold from the floor seeped into his toes. Jim stripped quickly with his eyes still half closed, shivering in the cold before trying to work out how his uniform worked. He’d never worn one before but it couldn’t be all that difficult to manage. By the time the sergeant came around for inspections Jim was still trying to lace up his combat boots and he hadn’t even started on making his bed.

  
Sebastian sighed as the sergeant came through, shaking his head, "Bad luck Jim." He shut up then, standing to attention as the man walked down the row of beds, occasionally stopping to bark orders at people or punishments.

  
When he got to Jim and Sebastian he hesitated and frowned then shook his head, "Bloody mess, bed is a disgrace. Moran, show him how to get it done, repeat it ten times perfectly then you can go to breakfast." He muttered at Sebastian as he passed, "Moriarty's son - Moriarty's got you this afternoon so take it out of his hide now."

  
Sebastian didn't show a flicker of emotion until all the boys had left and then groaned, turning to bang his head against the bed, "Fuck sake. Tell you what - _I'll_  make your bed ten times and you smack yourself in the face, then we can both get to breakfast quicker."

  
“Obviously I didn’t get to it… how the fuck are you meant to get ready that quickly…” Jim was not a morning person by any stretch, he couldn’t remember the last time he was up this early. He started getting to work on making the bed now that his boots were on and laced up properly. It was difficult though to work out how to recreate the folds in the sheets and blankets even though he remembered exactly what it should look like. “This is wrong… you might as well show me unless you are planning on making my bed every morning.” Jim gave Sebastian an alarmed look, “Why would I smack myself in the face, it’s fucked up enough as it is.” The swelling in his nose and mouth had gone down some but the areas were all bruised and blotchy and both his eyes were blackened, although the one was more damaged than the other – luckily it hadn’t swelled shut. His wrist still twinged painfully and Jim had a pounding headache. He certainly wasn’t in a hurry to take any more injuries.

  
"Oh lord, you are making a complete pig’s ear of that, here..." Sebastian took the blankets away from him and showed him the quickest way to fold them, the cheating ways to tug the edges under, to pull the sheet away. "Alright, have a go. Have ten goes and then I'll straighten your uniform. Yeah your face is fucked up but... the sergeant doesn't like Moriarty." He said it as if it explained everything and then added, slightly softer, "You look like shit. Shit having a bad day. 'S a pity about your hair. I used to have awesome hair, all fucking curled as well, my mum adored it." He sighed and then gave a shrug with a twisted smile. "Hurry up, I'm hungry."

  
Jim scowled but paid attention as Sebastian showed him how to make the bed properly. Once it was done he got started, not especially wanting breakfast this morning but Sebastian seemed to be hungry. “That’s not an explanation. If Moriarty was a dick then he should just punch him in the face and leave me alone.” Jim watched Sebastian skeptically, wondering if Sebastian would go through with hitting him or not. “Yeah well… it’s not a fucking beauty contest,” Jim said eventually, not really wanting to talk about the haircuts. “You don’t look bad with it like that though.”

  
"Yeah, well you won't look too bad once your face sorts itself out." Sebastian pointed out, watching him make the bed, correcting him as he went along, and glancing at the door. "Look just do it five times if you need to - if we're down late they won't serve us and I'm not hacking through till lunch on an empty stomach. Nobody punches Moriarty in the face, besides which they're colleagues. They aren't meant to behave like stupid teenagers. We are." Reaching up he gently rested the knuckles of his fist against Jim's cheek. "There you go. If he asks, say you cried, now hurry up - just make sure you can do it alright tomorrow or we'll be scrubbing the damn floors again.”

  
Jim clenched his jaw and almost flinched back when Sebastian went to hit him, but he only pressed his knuckles against unbruised skin. “So what, you only hit people when you feel like it, not when you’re told to?” Jim scowled and collected his bag filled with new school books. “I never scrubbed any floors.” He stuck his nose up and followed Sebastian towards the mess hall, watching all of the other cadets scarf down their food while they got in line. “They look like animals,” Jim commented.

  
"Well do you want me to hit you or not?" Sebastian asked, laughing and patting Jim's face with his knuckles again. "I aim to please. And you certainly will scrub floors - and carry out all sorts of tasks. It's a rite of passage." He watched the cadets eating and shrugged, "Nah... not unless it was very well trained animals. My father’s dogs never ate that sensibly. Fucks sake I'm starving, I bet we'll be left with all the stale bread and mangy porridge."

  
Jim frowned and shook his head, watching all of them eat like they thought someone was about take their food from them if they didn’t put it away fast enough. “I had a little dog once, I think it was a pitbull mutt.” She had been Jim’s friend when he was younger. He glanced about and checked the room for his father, feeling a little relieved when he didn’t see him. Jim didn’t see any of the staff eating though so they probably took their breakfast somewhere else. His stomach cramped up nauseously at the idea of food. “You can have my portion if you want it, I’m not hungry.”

  
"Really? Excellent, people'll think I’ve commandeered it from you." Sebastian served himself, put a pile on Jim's plate and then steered them over to the two spaces that had been left for them at the table. Eating order was the same as sleeping order. Giving a smirk, he helped himself to both trays while the boys around them finished eating, some of them reading books or hastily doing homework. There were no staff present apart from one bored sergeant, not theirs, and a few cleaning ladies.

  
Jim handed over his plate without comment and settled down at the table with the other boys who looked at him curiously but mostly focused on their work. Rumor mill would have already been hard at work – Jim hadn’t spoken to any other cadets but it didn’t matter much, not with how cut off everyone was here. There was some internet – it was required for classes, but educational websites only, no one had cell phones, no radio, no mp3 players. Jim never really had much of that anyway but he was sure these rich brats missed their luxuries. He looked at the unappetizing food and he was glad he wasn’t eating any. Jim pulled his course schedule out of his back pack and tried to make sense of it – it was rigidly structured, but he didn’t recognize any of the buildings or places referenced, or even some of the classes. “We have… physical education classes in the morning?” That seemed to be how it was structured – military training in the morning, normal academia between lunch and dinner and then study halls and chores between dinner and bed. 

"Yeah - then books at lunch, study hall, then your dad gets us alternate days. There's also the weaponry, that's in the other days. Not a huge number of chores, there's hardly anything to clean and there's plenty of us. I use that time to train as well usually." Sebastian smirked, he hardly needed to explain to Jim how he got off his chores. "'S a full schedule, 's good. I got into a hell of a lot of trouble back before for pissing around, now there's no time and I'm too exhausted." He finished eating Jim's food and then sat back, looking satisfied, "Watson's got you off physical anyway after I smacked you around. You should be grateful."

  
“Wonderful.” He smirked and put the schedule away. “Somehow I think I’ll manage to find some trouble anyway, want to tell me what the fastest way to get kicked out of this place?” He’d been in and out of trouble with the law and with school for years, he doubted that would suddenly stop. Even when his body was exhausted his mind still forged ahead. Jim shook his head and reached down into his little folder with loose papers including his doctor’s note. “Just says I’m meant to avoid any exercise that involves my wrist – like press ups, and if I start feeling dizzy or nauseous I’m meant to sit down for a while.” Jim’s mouth tightened irritably, he wasn’t looking forward to the physical education but he was coming in in the middle of the year and as one of the upper years, many of these guys had already been keeping up the exercise regimen every day for years. “Christ I’m fucked…” he muttered quietly enough that only Sebastian would be able to hear him.

  
"Well... most people just ask their parents when they want to leave and they get taken out. Sometimes I help." Sebastian laughed again, reaching over and rubbing his little fuzzy head before pulling him in for a one armed hug, "Oh yes! Fucked hard, and utterly and completely." The boys around them laughed, some kindly, some with malice, and Sebastian let him go, tugging out his own work, "Christ, I was meant to do maths this morning, someone slap Hooper for me and get his results passed down here."

  
Jim knew he was going to be all over the place in the curriculum but he glanced over at Sebastian’s maths sheet and relaxed, at least he was far ahead in that subject. It looked like his father had at least put some thought into what classes he was signed up for. He had two extra languages classes and a heavy focus on maths and sciences. He wondered how many of those classes he’d share with Sebastian. All of the military classes were the same, as well as the core classes but the electives were different depending on what you wanted to study and had students of all ages in them, whoever could keep up with the work. Jim startled as Sebastian wrapped his arms around his shoulder and tensed up unhappily as the others gave Jim assessing looks. “Get the fuck off me, you big moron. Take it back.” All he needed was a pronouncement like that getting back to his father. 

Sebastian grinned and ignored him, turning to his maths instead as a rustle of paper and an unhappy noise signaled Hooper’s work getting to him. He copied down half the answered then stared at them and scowled, scrunching up both his and Hoopers paper and dumping them in Jim's porridge. "They're fucking wrong you twat - do I have to be the brains here as well as the brawn?" Another bell sounded and the mess hall became a seething mass of activity, everyone getting up and moving and Jim being herded along with the rest outside to the training grounds.

  
Jim followed the other boys to the locker rooms and they all started to strip out of their uniforms quickly so Jim did the same. Next to Sebastian was a free locker with a sweatshirt, tee, and sweat pants all with the schools logo on them and his name printed on the tags inside. “Fucking lovely.” He thought it was stupid they made them dress in uniform only to eat breakfast and then strip out of it again, but that’s how things were done.

  
A tall big man came in, uniform pristine and started yelling at them, “Alright you lazy bastards, get your arses on the field in five minutes. I want you to stretch and then you’ll start with three loops around the track to get yourselves warmed up.”

  
Jim pulled his sweatshirt over his head – it was a bit nippy out and it hid some of his thinness. “I’ve got a doctor’s note here.” Jim passed it over to him while he re-laced his boots. “I’m new.”

  
Darren frowned, coming over and looking Jim up and down, "Moriarty's boy?" He looked Jim up and down and his face twisted, "He sure about that? That apple fell a hell of a long distance away." He raised an eyebrow as Jim handed him the note, read it and shrugged, "Says don't use your wrist. So don't use it. Alright ladies fucking move it, that track isn't running itself."

  
“Thank you, sir.” Jim said sincerely with a snide edge to his tone. He didn’t especially want to be anything like his father, Jim was proud of the ways they were different. He sighed and got moving, somewhat pleased there had at least not been any mocking about his wrist injury and wanking. He got outside and started stretching in the cool air, feeling out of place as the other boys seemed to have a standard stretching regimen. Jim figured running was probably the area he was strongest, he was fast and agile but as they started their laps Jim discovered being able to outrun an overweight cop or dodging and dashing short distances through the streets of London did very little to help him against all these boys who exercised properly every day for years. He was having trouble already on the last lap, he’d kept up even if it had cost him more than any of the other boys, until now when he started to lose momentum and his breath.

  
Darren watched them running, occasionally shouting out insults or encouragement. He watched Jim but said nothing as the boy staggered in last, but not too far trailing behind. "Alright, assault course, slow as you like." He said with a clear exaggeration that made even the worst of the slackers pick up. He followed with Jim, giving him a poke as he stumbled, "First days the worst. What's happened to Moran? Nobody hits Moran. Did the sergeant's Golden Boy have a falling out with his dear leader? FUCKING MOVE WESLEY". He sighed and shook his head, seemingly having decided that Jim was in a halfway house between student and staff. "Alright, get through as much as that assault course without using your wrist as you can. I'll cut you out of the netting if you get stuck. And tell your Da we need to discuss the Zeta Division because they won't make soldiers at this rate unless we give half of them a full frontal lobotomy."

  
Jim was already out of breath, he knew he wasn’t going to be able to finish on a good note - he was frustrated and his nose was running from the cold and he didn’t appreciate all of these reminders of who his father was. “Right, I recommend you pass along your comments to my sperm donor in person. Sir.” He tacked on at the end and then got out of there fast in case the man decided he was angry about Jim’s comment. He did okay on the course, hopping through tires and Jim even made it through the netting. He tripped up a little on the monkey bars, there was a pool of water underneath, Jim didn’t see any way to go around and Darren wasn’t paying attention to give him directions so Jim grabbed the first bar, wincing as he did a pull up and swung his leg up over the top. When he was squatted on top of the monkey bars he crouched and walked quickly along one of the support bars, careful not to lose his balance and scowling all the while since his accommodations weren’t being met.

  
Darren scowled at Jim's last comment but was pretty soon too taken up with bullying around other people to bother. It wasn't until he saw Jim scuttling along the support bars that he rolled his eyes and then gave him a push, smirking as the boy landed in the water, "That is not how you fucking use the equipment. You've got another wrist haven't you?" There was some laughter and he allowed it for a few minutes before rounding on the boys, "Alright, training rounds, stop bloody complaining, one minute on each station. Moriarty the younger, back to the beginning of the assault course."

  
Jim came up gasping for air, shivering and soaked as the nasty water threatened to get in his eyes and mouth. “You can’t use the bars with only one wrist, you dumb fuck!” Jim’s impulse control was notoriously bad when he got angry or upset and he was fucking steaming over the unfair treatment. Besides, it was his goal to get kicked out so acting out wasn’t all that bad. Technically the bars  _could_ be done one-handed but Jim wasn’t nearly strong enough to hold all of his weight on one arm, propel himself from one bar to the other and hope that he caught the next one while he was in free fall. Darren could maybe do it but Jim was in no way physically fit enough, even without the injuries.

  
Darren's face snarled, dropping completely as he grabbed Jim by the shoulders and gave him a shake, "Oh really? That's how you think you can talk to me? MORAN!" Sebastian jogged over and Darren sneered at him, "C'mere..." Grabbing Sebastian's wrist he used the ties of his hoodie to roughly tie it to his body while Sebastian frowned in confusion. "Across the bars. Now. And you'll be cleaning the toilets all night if you fuck it up." Grabbing back at Jim he dug his nails into Jim's shoulder and turned him around to watch, hissing in his ear, "By the end of the year I want you fucking doing this, alright? Watch..."

  
Sebastian’s wrist was tied inside his sweatshirt, Jim turned to Darren and sneered, not really interested in seeing Sebastian display his physical prowess. “I’ve no doubt he can do it with one hand, but unless you’re blind as well as stupid you’ll have noticed that _we aren’t the same size_  I don’t have the muscle mass to physically do it. By the end of the year I could have it down but expecting me to complete it now is only going to injure me further.”

  
Darren looked at him coldly and then snapped, "You have no doubt? I'm interested to see. Let's call it a scientific experiment. But you fucking _watch_  him and if he does make it you can spend the night cleaning the toilets out. I give an order, you obey it, understood? Doesn't matter if it's impossible, you damn well try with every fiber of your fucking body to get it done. You do not insult me and bloody backtalk. And right now I'm ordering you to watch Moran." Sebastian twisted his shoulders, winced at the bad one, took a few breaths and then ran at the bars. Catching the first with one hand he managed to tug himself up, swing, launch himself at the second one, catch it, swing his screaming shoulder at the third and brush passed it, landing with a yell in the water on his bad shoulder while Darren watched and then shook his head with a chuckle. "What do you know? It is impossible. Moriarty, do laps till the session is over."

  
“That’s cause I bloody bashed his shoulder in last night and he’s too thick to get a note. I’ll scrub your fucking toilets, but I’m not running anymore and that one needs to go see the doctor.” Jim stared Darren down and lowered his voice, unconsciously doing an impression of his father, “Unless you’d like to risk permanent damage to his joint. Bit of a career ender that. I wonder how much his father would sue you for.” Jim stood tall in his sopping clothes and tried to look down at the man who was a full head taller than him and about twice as heavy.

  
Darren looked down at him and gave an uncertain sort of sneer. "Well I can't be arsed with this lot. Moriarty do laps, Moran go and see Watson, you'll both be cleaning fucking toilets after your afternoon session with Moriarty Senior. Is that clear?" He turned to Jim with exaggerated care, "Or does that not suit your fucking needs?"

  
“Whatever,” Jim sneered trying to hold back the involuntary shivering brought on by his soaked clothes. He gave Darren one last condescending look before he took off at a light jog, determined to be disobedient and not run very fast. By the end of their morning physical activities Jim was absolutely miserable and ready to drop, his legs shook with strain and he had a horrible stitch in his side. Jim had to stop a few times during his laps for dry heaves, there just wasn’t anything in his stomach and only bile came up. It had been smart to forgo breakfast but he was hurting for exercising more than he ever had before on his life on an empty stomach. Jim stripped off his sodden uniform and threw it in a hamper before stepping under the shower spray and making it as hot as he could stand it. Sebastian was already standing there. “So why the fuck do you get targeted every time I piss someone off?” He paused and continued to gasp for breath, taking a minute to try and get his heart and breath regulated. “…is your shoulder okay?”

  
Sebastian pulled himself up from the water and didn't look at anyone before stomping off to John Watson looking moody and quiet as the man lectured him, tried to get him to speak and eventually gave up on him in disgust. He stayed in the study hall until the bell rang and then went to the showers, moodily turning away as the rest of them trooped in. He gave Jim only the smallest glance before turning away from him, "I helped you this morning because I share a bloody bunk with you. Darren chose me to show off for you because I'm the strongest. I should've been able to make it. It’s just a fucking coincidence that you keep turning up in my perfect bastard set-up and fucking around."

  
Jim could tell that Sebastian was sullen about something so he just let it go with a nod, focusing on washing himself and trying to warm up without melting into a pathetic pool of strained muscles on the floor. It was lunch time now and Jim dressed in his uniform again as he stepped in next to Sebastian, “You can have my lunch portion. To make up for getting you into trouble. Wasn’t my intention.” They stepped in line together in the mess hall.

  
Sebastian gave another moody shrug and then shook his head, "Nah. You need to eat something. And you didn't get me into trouble, did you? If I'd managed to actually do what I train for I'd be sitting here fine. I'll have your dessert though." He added after a quick think. After all, the boy was offering it. There were two choices - some sort of stew and a pasta bake. While Magnussen might not have cared how the boys were treated, clearly even he realised that food needed to be nourishing enough to keep them going through the day. Sebastian took large portions of both and then sat down, ignoring Hooper who was winging about his maths being destroyed.

  
Jim let them load his plate up but just sat with it, not wanting to get sick after all of the dry heaves he had this morning. He should be hydrating but Jim had fallen into a bit of despondency and didn’t feel like taking care of himself just now. He could drink from a water bottle in class. “Has anyone ever successfully starved themselves out?” He asked, hoping that the school would let him go if he just went on a hunger strike. Jim rather doubted his abilities to stick to it with all of the exercising they were doing but it might be worth a shot if there was any chance of success.

  
Sebastian turned to him, frowning to notice that Jim was looking genuinely miserable and putting his own ill temper aside for a moment. "No. I told you. They just run home. We don't usually have homeless vagrants dossing here." Picking up a piece of bread he soaked it in the juice of the stew and then held it out to Jim. "Eat that or I'll slap you. First week is always the hardest. I almost fell apart first week. Your body gets used to the work outs, eventually. Now fucking eat."

  
A little bit of heat returned to Jim’s eyes and he glared warningly, “I’m not a homeless vagrant. I’ve just not got anywhere else to go – legally or whatever.” His irritation and anger increased as Sebastian tried to stick food in his mouth. “No. I’ll eat at dinner.” Probably. “If that’s not good enough for you then go ahead and slap me.” He challenged.

  
Sebastian gave him an exasperated look but the boys around them had already heard, sniggering and urging him on. Rolling his eyes he threw the bread at Jim's shaven head, "Fucks sake, this is what I get for trying to be nice. The door isn't exactly locked, if you want to leave fucking walk out of here." The boy next to Sebastian started a chant of "fight, fight, fight" until Sebastian smacked a fist hard into his mouth. "Fucks sake why is everyone so determined for me to hit the cunt? We'll be facing his dad this afternoon I'd rather not have to explain why his son is back with Watson."

  
“You mean _you_  would rather not end up back with Watson.” Jim glared prissily and took a napkin to wipe away some of the soup that was soaked into the bread that splattered over his head and face. “Maybe you haven’t noticed because you spend as much time as you can stuffing your face, but you’re actually _not_  allowed to leave the mess hall until meals are over.” They structured out where each student was meant to sit, no way were they just going to let kids wonder around without permission. “Quit bringing him up, fuck’s sake.” Jim was used to not having to be reminded of his father, except in his own mind. No one had known him in Ireland and now it was like every few minutes someone was rubbing it in that his father was a colossal arse.

  
The boys around them were starting to form a circle, goading and laughing, and Sebastian looked even more annoyed. His only hope now was that the sergeant on duty would intervene, but he knew from experience that unless someone was actively dying they tended not to. Giving an irritated little noise he swung a hand around and knocked Jim off the bench. "For fucks sake, just shut up and eat something. And get used to people mentioning your dad, he bloody well works here and is a complete _cock_ into the bargain. I hope you do bloody well leave, I'll even give you money for a train out of here if you like, how does that sound? You've lasted a day, that's more than anyone was expecting."

  
Jim was busy warily watching the other boys who were circling them and didn’t see when Sebastian swung at him and knocked him backwards off the bench. Normally a hit like that would have just been embarrassing but he fell and hit the back of his head on the floor, about the same area as his bump from the night before. Jim gave a little gasp and saw stars and groaned a bit as the room started spinning. Slowly he sat up, feeling nauseous and sick as he touched the back of his head and checked for any blood. Between the extreme exercise on an empty stomach and his minor concussion getting aggravated Jim’s stomach suddenly cramped hard and he gave another dry heave. Nothing came up but the other kids started to laugh and one of them stepped on Jim’s fingers.

  
Fuck... Sebastian had forgotten about the other injuries, but he noticed Jim swaying, and his eyes closing. He scowled as Jim gave a dry heave, whirling angrily on the boy who'd stepped on Jim's fingers and slamming a fist into his face, watching him go down and then reaching down to swing Jim into his arms. "Fuck all that, you little bitches - this skinny little twat got three staples embedded in my head last night - have any of you shits ever done that?" There was some laugher now, which hastily died as Sebastian snarled around ferally, before heading to the doors, kicking them open and pushing past the sergeant outside, "He's about to fucking pass out, piss off." He knew he'd be in trouble for this, and rather elatedly didn't care, keeping Jim held in his arms as he headed back down to the medical unit, complaining the whole time, "Watson is going to have my fucking _hide_  if you have concussion, you know that? When he asks you how many fingers you better get it right or I'll screw that many fingers up your fucking arse, alright?"

  
Jim groaned again as Sebastian picked him up too quickly and the ceiling spun above him, “Ow…” He muttered quietly in Sebastian’s ear, closing his eyes tightly in the hopes that it would curb his nausea – but it didn’t. “Mmm, no. Don’t fuck me I don’t feel well.” Jim was floating a bit as his mind decided whether it would rather stay conscious or not. “I don’t like being carried…” He flushed a little in embarrassment and started trying to wiggle free. Sebastian was warm though and it was still cold outside, Jim shivered and then settled as he closed his eyes and decided to just leave it. It wasn’t worth the effort.

  
Sebastian looked down at him, small tough little body wrapped in his arms, and quietly whispered, "Fuck". He had fallen for the kid, and this was unlikely to end well. He carried Jim down to the medical centre, hoping fervently that nobody would see who could report to Jim's father, and shouldered open the door.

  
Watson turned on him, taking in the scene and looking furious, but motioned Sebastian to lay Jim down on the small analysis table, hesitating and then lowering it first and putting a blanket on it. "What happened? Did he hit his head?" He tugged Jim's eyelids back to look at his eyes and then patted his shoulder. "He's probably not in any immediate danger, but I'm not letting him out of this room until he's had a good sleep, a decent meal, and a few days recovery. Go and fetch some blankets and his trunk, and I’ll be taking this up with your sergeant for all the good that will do."

  
Jim was a little more settled now that he’d had a few minutes to decide if he was going to pass out or not. “Accident. It was my fault, I slipped on the floor. Fell in the water during the monkey bars and my shoes were still wet.” Jim’s shoes _were_  still wet, less on the outside and more sodden on the insides but his point still stood. The room was still spinning slowly and Jim had an awful headache but he felt alright, the nausea had passed at least. “Thought you weren’t supposed to sleep with a concussion anyway… Maybe I should go to class.” The academics were the only part Jim was actually looking forward to and he wasn’t too keen on staying in the med ward to be mothered by Watson.

  
"Don't be a bloody idiot you're in no state to go anywhere." Watson snapped, reaching down to take Jim's shoes off and shaking his head at the cold wet skin underneath. Taking out a pair of long woolen socks, he put them on Jim, "you're not meant to pass out with concussion - the way you look sleep would be the best thing for you." He looked at Jim's unhappy expression and sighed. "Rest today, sleep here tonight, recover during the physical session tomorrow morning and you can join your classes tomorrow after midday, alright? You won't be the first lad spending your first day in my medical room, and you certainly won't be the first put here by Moran." He glowered as Sebastian came through the door with Jim's trunk and the required blankets and snatched them off him, turning to lay them over Jim, "Now maybe he'll stop shivering. You go back to your lessons, and try not to damage anyone else. I've only got the one bed."

  
Jim couldn’t say that he minded missing out on his da’s lesson today, but he had counted on the general student populace to deter the man from being too horrible. “Just don’t let my father in here. Or at least wake me up first.” That was all he needed, wake up to find him hovering over his bedside. Jim’s feet were warm for the first time though and that was nice. He tucked the blanket tighter around himself and rolled on his stomach away from the pain in his head. Jim looked up at Sebastian, still feeling a little disoriented and muttered, “I am ow.”

  
"I won't let anyone in here." John said gently, glaring at Moran.

Sebastian replied, "You are a fucking pain." And gave Jim a gentle pat on the non-injured part of his stubbly little head.

"I said _out_ Moran..." Sebastian sighed and headed back to the mess hall, politely listening as the duty-sergeant shouted at him and then knocking a few heads together to stop sniggers as he went back to his lunch. He spent lesson times trying to work out how to explain if Moriarty asked where his son was - he didn't want to say anything that would send the man storming off to the medical ward, not when Jim had been clear that he didn't want to see him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: None


	3. Wanking is not a Survival Step in the Regulation Handbook

“Today we are going to be covering how to treat head injuries when you are away from civilization.” Moriarty’s eyes landed briefly on Moran before looking again through the cadets and not seeing his son. He’d been notified of course that the boy would not be in class but he still intended to make Moran squirm over it. “The groundwork for the management of injuries and illnesses should begin long before you ever step into a survival environment. You need to begin with your body in optimal condition, that includes cardiovascular conditioning, good muscle strength and tone, and good nutritional status. Physiological and nutritional status will markedly influence the rate and degree of healing in response to injury. That means if one of you lot gets injured then your healing rate will be much faster than say – a civilian who doesn’t receive the physical conditioning and nutrients you boys do.” Moriarty looked over Sebastian again ominously. “Now I want you all to break into your partner groups and come up with a plan for how you would treat a head injury in a survival environment. After you’ve settled on your answers we will compare notes and see who actually did the readings. Now.” As the cadets broke into their pairs Moriarty watched Sebastian coolly as he sat awkwardly by himself and began to write. “Moran. Where is your partner?” He asked, knowing exactly where he son was.

  
The bunk-beds formed an ideal system for partnering people off, which meant that Sebastian found himself partnerless and, muttering about irritating Irish boys, settled down to write. He was pretty jumpy already from the events of the day, and his shoulder was starting to seriously ache but he jumped to his feet and to attention as Moriarty addressed him, gazing into the distance and standing ramrod straight, "He didn't do very well in physical, Sir, and he's still recovering from the altercation yesterday. Doctor Watson recommended he spend the rest of today resting." Well, technically it was true.

  
“I see,” he started slowly, watching Sebastian try not to squirm. “I heard that you were the one who brought him to Watson after he _fell_  at lunch. Such a clumsy boy.” James had received both reports, from the sergeant at the mess hall and the one from Watson. The doctor wouldn’t lie to him so that meant one of the boys had lied to Watson about what happened. And now Moran was lying to him. Interesting. “So convenient that the curriculum covers head injuries today. Perhaps you boys would like a practical? I could arrange it for the two of you to spend the night outside. Of course you’ll be perfectly fine if you did your reading…” James smiled coolly, “I could even offer you extra credit.”

  
"He didn't fall at the mess hall Sir, I slapped him one." Sebastian answered, feeling his heart-rate speeding up. A night outside; he could manage that, he'd done it before and knew a few tricks. What he wasn't sure was whether Jim could - particularly if he was ill and struggling enough already. A day on lack of sleep was punishing enough when he was used to the routine, for Jim it would be torture. This boy was already proving far too much trouble and Sebastian couldn't help a scowl flickering across his face before he calmly answered, "Would be happy to do a practical if required, Sir." And then, rather recklessly, "You might have to get the Doctor's approval for Jim though..."

  
Moriarty’s smile grew as Sebastian taunted him and accepted the practical. “Wonderful. I expect as much from one of our best students. Come along then, and you won’t be needing your pack.” The cadets all kept survival packs that they normally took with them on any wilderness training, but it wasn’t unheard of to send upper class men without them either. You wouldn’t always have matches and a med kit and MREs after all. “The rest of you finish up with your assignment, I’ll be back to check them shortly.” Moriarty walked Sebastian from the classroom back to the medical centre and smirked as he startled Watson. “I’ll be taking my son, thank you. He’s needed for a SERE practical.”

  
Sebastian gave a nervous little swallow as he left his pack behind, glaring at the ground and following Moriarty, his plans already changing in his head. Shelter, warmth, particularly for Jim. At least they would have two bodies to help keep each other warm, and just for an overnighter could manage without food. Watson, frowned at Moriarty, as the door opened, glancing towards the curtain behind which Jim was sleeping and shaking his head, "I cannot allow that, Captain Moriarty - your son is in quite a dangerous position right now. He has possible concussion, the start of frostnip, he's nauseous and dizzy. Moran had to carry him in here passed out. There's no way I can sign him off, particularly not for one of your practicals. I'll keep him in for observation overnight." Sebastian felt his throat go dry, looking between them nervously, praying that it would be enough.

  
Moriarty grinned sharply, shaking his head lightly. “And as his instructor perhaps that would be enough, but as I’m also his father I can remove him from your care against medical advice. I’ll even sign a waiver if you’d like.” He clapped Sebastian on the back and nodded, “And don’t you worry, I’m sure Moran here will make sure that nothing happens.” He moved to throw the curtain open and startled Jim, who was sleeping. “Time to rise and shine, you useless twat. Get your shoes on, you’re going camping.” James grinned widely, keeping his tone deceptively light and friendly.

  
"You're going to leave your son, in a tent, overnight, in an incredibly dangerous state of health, with a boy who has already twice beaten him up..." John managed, looking steadily at Moriarty. "Do you know what'll happen if he dies? You'll lose your job at the very least, this school will have to go through an enquiry. And believe me I will have no hesitation in telling a court exactly how much I counseled you against this. I'm not letting him out of this room unless you can give me a rock hard reason why he can't do this the day after tomorrow."

  
Sebastian looked anxiously at Moriarty and finally croaked out "Two nights. Let him recover today and we'll stay out two nights over the weekend. That way we'll have to find food as well, survive the day, get through two nights... just... not now. Not if he's got a fucking concussion." He could feel his heart hammering wildly as he spoke out of turn, but in a way it was exhilarating. He’d fallen into a pretty steady routine where he never got into trouble, and now he was sticking his neck out again. He still wasn't entirely sure why.

  
Moriarty’s face went suddenly blank and Jim swallowed hard, still horribly confused about what was happening. “I’m revoking my consent to have you treat him. He’ll be sent to class since he no longer has permission to be here. Which, incidentally is _my_  class, and his partner has volunteered them to go on a practical for extra credit. Besides…” He started and ran his hand over the stubble on Jim’s head again. “He wants to go, don’t you Jimmy?” Jim tensed up, swallowed back the impulse to move his head away and just nodded. “From what I’ve heard the boy hasn’t eaten since early yesterday morning, you’ll have to find food anyway. No, it will be now. Now get up and get your shoes on.” Jim stalled for a moment before pulling off the woolen socks John had given him and pulling on his drying standard issue ones, along with his shoes before sticking the woolen socks in his pocket. No sense wearing the warm socks when his shoes were still wet.

  
Sebastian stared at Moriarty in shock for a few seconds and then his face twisted into a sneer as he watched Jim get dressed. "Right. So we've got until tomorrow morning, yes? No pack, no supplies..." Suddenly this wasn't just a silly school exercise anymore, it was a true survival game, which meant, as far as Sebastian was concerned, nothing was off limits. He watched Jim get dressed into his cold clothes, felt the small packet of pills that Watson carefully slid into his back pocket (after a confused moment where he thought the Doctor was groping him) and started to reel off lists in his head. First stop: steal new clothes for Jim. Second: steal food, find a place to bunk down, shelter — branches would do. Warmth: steal blankets, dig a hole... He carefully blanked his face and stood to attention, "Where would you like this exercise to be carried out, Sir?"

  
Jim pulled his uniform jacket on, buttoning up the front and watching everyone warily. He was not fucking interested in going camping but he knew that tone of voice and figured his father would make it worse if he didn’t comply. “I’ll drive you out of course; I wouldn’t want Jim to have to exert himself by adding a long hike to the assignment. You know how to treat head injuries now so that shouldn’t cause any problems.” He missed John slipping Seb the paracetamol but he caught Jim’s unhappy look and he grinned. “Come on then lads. Out to the jeeps. You’ll want to move quickly as I read it might rain tonight.” He gripped Jim’s shoulder, grinned and nodded at Watson before leading both boys out of the med center and towards the jeeps. “I’ll drop you off and come back for you tomorrow morning. I don’t suspect the drop off point will make for ideal shelter so you’ll have some hiking to do. Just be sure to make it back to the extraction point on time or I’ll leave you until after dinner.” He pulled out his keys and unlocked the doors, settling himself inside before he started up the jeep. Jim winced a little at the loud engine but climbed in the back anyway, hurting and too tired to resist much when he knew it would only make it worse for himself. “Your sergeant isn’t very good about disciplining you, is he Moran? I think someone else taking you in hand for a bit would only help your development.”

  
Out of the grounds was harder, no chance to steal anything, shit, they were pretty fucked. As they headed to the jeep and sat in the back he was already thinking furiously, working out what they had. Both of them were in their uniforms but Jim did have a spare pair of socks. After checking that Moriarty couldn't see them in the car mirrors, he carefully slid his hands around the jeep. One paperclip, a pencil, a piece of half used chewing gum, they all went sneaking into Seb's pocket as the car drove onwards. "Do you want us to get back to the drop-off point tomorrow morning or shall we just take a signal with us?" He asked above the engine roar.

  
Moriarty rolled his eyes, “Cadet, were my instructions unclear? I’m leaving you at the drop off spot. You can stay there if you’d like but I wouldn’t recommend it as it’s unsuitable for shelter. You shouldn’t stay there overnight. However, if you decide to move then you must be back at the same site by breakfast or I’ll leave you behind and come back after dinner. Is that clear enough for you?” Jim was staring out the window and had pretty much resigned himself to sleeping on the wet ground for the evening and not doing much else. At least it was only one night. They drove on a dirt trail, far enough that Seb wouldn’t be able to get them all the way back to the academy, not with an injured civilian in tow anyway. The trail ended at a dirt clearing, no trees in the immediate area for shelter. “You can see why it’s not suitable for shelter, at least not in this weather. There’s no water here either. I’ll be nice and let you know there’s a stream about two and a half kilometers north of here. Have fun, I’ll see you in the morning. Don’t be late.” As soon as Jim and Seb were out of the jeep he gave a little grin and a wave before turning the car around and leaving the way he came.

  
“No, you were not fucking unclear you fucking bastard." Sebastian muttered under his breath, not at all caring if Moriarty heard him. He saved his breath further though, simply saluting as they were dropped off and then looking at Jim, who was drooping slightly. Looking up at the sky he swore. It did indeed look like rain. "Ah well, at least we'll have something to drink. Right... we need to get shelter, then hunker down and keep you warm." Looking around the clearing, he headed for a spot under a tree with fairly low branches and then undid his jacket, attaching the bottom to the branch and putting rocks on the sleeves to keep them close to the ground. It would be enough to keep the rain and the worst of the wind off. Reaching into his back pocket he pulled out the paracetamol and then the chewing gum, which he rolled between his fingers. "Chew this, take two pills, keep chewing, there'll be some sugar left in it. It looks like it's about to piss it down so there's no need for me to trudge all the way to a bloody river. Before it does, grab as many dry leaves as you can find and get them on the ground under my jacket." He waved at the most sheltered area under his jacket and then started sifting through the underbrush, trying to find something dry they could use to start a fire. "We'll light a fire, cuddle up under your jacket, and try and sleep through as much of the night as we can. When we wake up we'll jerk off, get the fire back on, then if it's not raining I'll get into my jacket and we can wait for your sodding pissing bastard of a father to come and get us."

  
Jim glared lightly but wasn’t going to waste his energy on fighting. “Did you really volunteer? I’d have thought you knew him better than that.” Jim sighed and wrinkled his nose at the gum. “I’m not putting anything he’s had in his mouth anywhere near me. I’ll take these dry, thanks.” Jim swallowed the little pills but didn’t put the chewed gum in his mouth. You weren’t meant to take them on an empty stomach but this wasn’t exactly an ideal situation and Jim could tolerate it for now. The hunger wasn’t at the forefront of his attention, it had worked its way back to fog the edges around his mind and left him feeling distant and weak but the nausea kept him from being actively hungry. He was very thirsty but decided not to mention it. Sebastian was doing everything he could and Jim wasn’t able to help much. “All right…” Jim glanced around and started picking up some dry leaves, trying not to bend over and stand up too much as that gave him horrible vertigo. He managed as long as he didn’t move his head too quickly. Jim wrinkled his nose in disgust and hoped that the boy was joking about jerking off.

  
"You need the sugar..." Sebastian growled. "It was in the back of the jeep, not the front, it's not fucking his, is it?" He cleared the ground under his jacket and scrapped a shallow hole there, turning to Jim and his expression turning from irritation to alarm when he saw the boy wobble. Taking the leaves out of Jim's hands he lay them in the scrape, and then patted the top of them. "Sit. Conserve energy, stay warm." Without his jacket, Sebastian knew he was best for him to keep moving, so he continued searching for dry twigs, old leaves, anything that could burn. Most of the stuff around was damp, but he managed to make a little heap of kindling and then reached into his pocket with a grin, tugging out a gold plated lighter with "SM" engraved in fancy swirly lettering on the side, "You ever tell your dad I have this and I'll choke you." He warned, flicking the flame and trying to light his little kindling heap before it rained.

  
Jim was trying not to be too irritable but some of it couldn’t help expressing itself, like wrapping the chewed gum up in a leaf and putting it off to the side. He wanted to throw it away but Sebastian might want it so he saved it – sort of. Before Jim sat down he covered the low hanging branch with his jacket, weighing the sleeves down with rocks so they wouldn’t blow in the rain later. It was chilly so Jim took off his wet shoes and socks and laid them out in what sun he could find before settling down under the shelter and pulling his woolen socks on. He curled up and wasn’t sure how both of them were going to be able to fit under the jacket. Very closely. Jim shuddered or shivered with cold, he couldn’t really work out what sensation had inspired the reaction. “Like I fucking tell him anything…” Jim was glad they had a lighter at least and could only hope Sebastian could get the little fire going. He had very little energy and that scared him distantly but he was fairly sure it didn’t have anything to do with his concussion and more to do with all the exercising he’d done today, his grief and depression over having to move here and losing his mother, and the hunger and dehydration.

  
Sebastian gave him a sideways glance, but concentrated on getting the fire going in front of the little shelter they'd constructed and then bit his lip, slightly worried about Jim. They needed blankets, ideally, but they had no way of getting them. They'd have to just huddle together. Scouting around he started to pull sticks and branches over his jacket, shaking his head at Jim's jacket and untying it, throwing it back on top of Jim, "Keep that on you cretin, we only need one shelter. Lie down, curl up, and stuff the rest of the leaves under your jacket, they'll keep you warm." Next to Jim he started piling reasonably dry sticks, blowing on the kindling to keep it going. "You want to get as much warmth inside you as possible before the rain starts, trust me." More twigs and branches then went over his jacket, creating a wall that was starting to look a lot more sturdy. "If I build this up enough I can rescue my jacket as well... help keep us warm. You watch the fire, alright? And when the sun hits the horizon take another two paracetamol."

  
Jim nodded and worked to keep his eyes open, the low levels of adrenaline were helping to keep him awake and the paracetamol had some caffeine too so he managed alright. He tried to remember everything Sebastian told him to do and sorted it through in his head. Jim knew some things about surviving in a situation like this, whatever his father had managed to cram into his head when he took him camping as a child. Jim fucking _hated_  those trips. “You know this is actually rather pleasant compared to some of the camping I’ve done… I suspect that’s cause he’s not here though…” Jim zipped his jacket up and stuffed leaves inside it, wishing he had some news-paper. The ground was a little damp but he managed to get himself tolerably comfortable while he watched the fire like he’d been told. The light hurt his head some but the drugs were helping with that. “I fucking hate this place.”

  
"This particular place or the whole school?" Sebastian kept building up the shelter, clearing the ground around the fire so it wouldn't spread and even managing to build a little wind-blocker to protect the fire from going out. At the first drops of rain he hurriedly balanced a branch over the top of the wind-blocker to keep the fire protected as long as possible and then scurried into the shelter, crouched down uncomfortable. "Alright... moment of truth. If the whole thing falls down you can blame me..." He undid his jacket from the branch and removed the stones covering the sleeves, giving a sigh of relief as the branches on top of it stayed upright. Bundling leaves inside his jacket he lay down, spooning himself around Jim and watching the fire, "We'll keep that going as long as possible, yeah? Fall asleep as soon as you can, it'll make the time go faster."

  
“The school. I want to go back to Ireland…” Jim scowled but sighed and let the anger go. He watched Sebastian make up their camp efficiently, his father would have been pleased but not impressed. He held his breath as Sebastian pulled his jacket away and the shelter held. “Adequate.” He frowned a little as Sebastian wrapped his body around his. Jim wasn’t used to physical contact, even hugs left him feeling stand offish and uncomfortable but he buttoned his lip and tried not to complain. “Isn’t it warmer if you’re naked?” Jim asked regretfully. “Better hope we don’t get that fucking cold because I’ll ruin your ability to have children.” Cuddling up like this was basically pointless besides conserving space because their clothes genuinely did prevent them from sharing body heat.

  
Sebastian gave a grin at Jim's judging of his building skills, "Yeah well, usually I have a survival kit. And we've only got to last the night." He laughed at the suggestion of nakedness, "You better hope the Fucking Bastard doesn't hear how eager you are to get into my pants. It would be warmer naked — if we had an insulted sleeping bag and several blankets. As it is, all the heat you currently possess is bundled up inside your jacket. Taking it off would be suicide. And my ability to have children is absolutely fine thank you, what I lack is the inclination and the orientation." He smirked and gave Jim a poke. "There's still enough heat working between us, if you start shivering we'll need to think of something else, right now you seem fine." Jim had the fire at his front and Sebastian Moran at his back, Seb just had to hope that the leaves below and the shelter above were good enough.

  
Jim thought about hitting him but in the end he just didn’t have the energy. “I’m not eager to get into your pants. Do you think he wouldn’t want me anymore if I did?” Jim asked, suddenly a lot more interested in the idea. Not right _now_  because being trapped out in the cold and rain with a leaky shelter was not at all sexy. He could always find some other faceless cadet to get naked with and get in trouble. Jim had already gotten Seb into quite a lot of shit situations since he’d gotten here, the boy wouldn’t appreciate being used just so that Jim could get kicked out of school. “You know this isn’t exactly an ideal time to mention you like men, alright?” Sebastian was pressing up behind him and Jim wasn’t reading into it – it was just most blokes probably would have and Sebastian didn’t seem to have an ounce of self-consciousness. Jim’s eyes closed against the light of the fire, trying to get his headache to calm down. “Shivering increases your body temperature by four degrees every hour… burns a lot of calories too.” Calories Jim didn’t have. He’d eaten yesterday morning and when his mother hadn’t made an appearance he’d gone upstairs to find her. He didn’t eat at the hospital and they hadn’t fed him when the men from the school came to pick him up. Right now he really hated his father.

  
"Calm the fuck down I'm not going to jump your skinny arse." Sebastian snapped, "And I have no idea what your father would do, although he did look ready to rip my face off when I insinuated it. By the looks of things he doesn't want you at the moment, this is basically attempted murder." He sighed, wrapping his arms around Jim and feeling not so much warmth but certainly an absence of cold at his front, while his back was starting to feel the chill. "Sundown take two more paracetamol. If you wake up in the night take another two. If you wake up cold, dizzy or in any way compromised, wake me as well. Four degrees an hour won't be good enough if this shelter starts leaking, the fire goes out, and you run out of energy entirely. I wish you'd eat the damn chewing gum, some sugar is better than none."

  
“I didn’t think you were, I’m just saying someone else probably would think that.” Jim winced as little as Sebastian raised his voice and the noise in his ear caused his head to throb. “Don’t exaggerate. He knows I could take it. He even sent you with me just in case.” Jim wouldn’t have done nearly as well on his own and he probably would have contracted pneumonia but survived if he’d been left on his own. Jim’s front was getting chilly despite the little fire so he slowly rolled over and pressed up against Sebastian’s chest, daring the boy to say anything. “He’s just making a point. Point that he can do whatever the fuck he wants and no one is going to stop him. Not the protective nurse or my new _friend.”_ Jim poked Sebastian’s ribs to indicate him, “He’s saying it doesn’t matter what kind of allies I make, he can still hurt me.” Jim sighed but nodded, not willing to work out how he was meant to know when the sun went down when the sky was so overcast. He figured the pain would wake him up when they wore off. “Its mint, chances are its sugar free anyway and I don’t want fucking second hand gum.”

  
With Jim rolled to face him Sebastian became acutely aware that they weren't sharing heat in the most efficient manner and so gave a little nod, ignoring the Moriarty family drama. "Alright, I think you're right about the body heat, and this ground is cold. I'm going to undo my jacket and roll it over the top of both of us. When I'm done, you undo yours and we'll slide it underneath both of us. Leave the leaves in there for insulation and keep your shirt on obviously — extra layer. I'll wrap my arms around you as well." He looked at Jim, a little softer, and gave him a smile that aimed to be comforting. "I just want to keep us warm and dry and stop you freezing to death. That should work out till we wake up. Once the sun rises we'll wank then try and re-light the fire."

  
“Mate I promise you wanking is not one of the survival steps in your regulation handbook.” Jim sighed regretfully and unzipped his jacket, and laid it out on the floor, sorting the leaves for insulation before lying back down facing Sebastian like he’d been told. He grinned mischievously and pressed his cold nose against Sebastian’s shoulder. “I’m not going to freeze to death, as long as it stays above zero degrees we shouldn’t have to worry too much, except about getting sick.”

  
"Oh yeah, not much at all." Sebastian said sarcastically, wrapping his jacket around both of them and giving a grin as the cold little face touched his shoulder, his arms curling around the skinny body, protecting it with tanned muscled skin that gave off heat like a radiator. "And it may not be a survival step but if we wake up cold to the bone it's the quickest way of warming up I know. Learnt it off the Women's air-force ladies — course they do it in their sleeping bags before they sleep, lucky twats, to get the warmth in. 'S a good way to wake up though, and sorts out morning wood."

  
Jim huffed a breath at Sebastian’s sarcasm, “You’re still not wanking next to me, I’ll rip it off. Make it into a necklace like the Americans did in Vietnam. Although… I think they used enemies’ ears… ear necklaces…” Jim started trailing off and struggled to keep his eyes open. This was warmer, but some of the cool air got in and it was taking a while to warm up. Jim started shivering as he closed his eyes.

  
Sebastian kept his arms wrapped around Jim, rubbing his back and trying to warm the little body up, despite the hard cold ground underneath and the dampness all around. The rain hammered on the roof of the shelter and Sebastian drifted off with a sleepy little "Wake me if ANYTHING happens yeah? Poor little sod, got to fucking well watch out for you, god knows nobody else is..."

  
Jim woke again in the middle of the night, the fire had gone out and it was dark. He was disoriented and shaking, he’d woken up because of the pain in his head and the cold. His mouth and throat were dry and he desperately needed a drink. There was — a puddle starting underneath them and it was spilling over on top of Jim’s jacket — the one they were sleeping on top of. “Ah fuck,” he hissed as his body shook harder and the left side of his vest went see through as it got wet. “Seb… fuck get up, you’re going to get wet…” Jim’s lips were blue and his fingertips felt numb. “Wake up you — ugh, idiot.”

  
Sebastian gave a little mumble and rolled over, almost squashing Jim, before waking up and realising they were wet. The rain was still falling harder than ever and he shook his head to clear it, eyes widening in alarm as he saw Jim. "Shit ... _shit."_ The boy looked blue with cold, his body shivering, and they were lying in a small puddle. Everything was wet, the fire was out. The only thing that could be said for their shelter was at least it was keeping off the torrents of rain from above. "C'mere..." He squirmed himself into a sitting position and then tugged Jim into his lap, wrapping the dry inside of his jacket around Jim's body and then pushing his own hands through Jim's wet jacket, thankful for once it was a bit large for the boy. It was still too small for Sebastian but he wrapped his arms around Jim and pressed the little body into his chest, tensing his arm and leg muscles to try and get some heat going. "Take your paracetamol. Two more of them, help your head."

  
“’S okay…” he slurred as Sebastian situated him in his lap. “You know if you wanted to get in my pants you didn’t have to get us sent out to the middle of nowhere…” Jim grinned tiredly and pressed his bruised face into the crook of Sebastian’s shoulder and neck. Sebastian’s back was leaned against the tree trunk and Jim straddled his lap, pressing against his heat. “Shirts wet, should I take it off?” it was difficult to think around his headache and the hunger and cold but he managed to reach into his back pocket for the medication. Luckily they came in the plastic baggie and stayed dry. Jim swallowed them down with a grimace as they stuck in his dry throat.

  
"No, don't take anything more off." Sebastian said gently, noticing how Jim struggled with swallowing, leaving Jim in his lap, he reached out cupping his hands to collect rainwater and then held out his cupped hands to Jim's mouth, "Drink. Go on. Then get back to sleep." He had no idea what time it was - it might be nearly dawn or it might be still before midnight. He knew he wouldn't be able to sleep, too worried that Jim would actually get frostbite.

  
Jim drank greedily from Sebastian’s hands and washed his pills down, not caring at the moment that he needed help. “Just don’t miss him. I can’t make it till after dinner.” That would be three days without food and twenty-four hours in the cold and rain without adequate shelter. Jim settled back down again, short enough that he could press the non-bruised side of his face against Sebastian’s chest and close his eyes and fall asleep. When he woke up the next morning it was only drizzling lightly and the sun was up, Sebastian shook him awake lightly muttering that he needed to pee and Jim should wake up.

  
Sebastian dozed off slightly in the night, waking as the sun rose and watching their surroundings. For a few moments it was almost peaceful - the rain had died down, the sun was rising through clouds turned pink, and there were birds singing around them. In his lap was a little warm body, eyes closed, looking softer and younger in sleep. It couldn't last though and he eventually woke Jim up, wrapping his jacket more securely around the small body, "Alright, up you get soldier. Wait at the check point, keep walking around it, otherwise you'll cool down. He'll be here any minute unless he's left us." He grinned, "No time for a wank unfortunately. Keep that jacket on." With that he disappeared into the undergrowth for a pee.

  
Jim groaned a little and zipped his jacket up, trying to get his legs to work underneath him since they’d fallen asleep. He kept moving slowly, stumbling slightly and walked the short distance to the clearing. At least there he wasn’t likely to trip on any branches or slip on the wet leaves. Jim was weak and was so cold he’d stopped shivering but he moved like Sebastian told him to, hyper-focusing on shuffling his feet along as he walked in a circle around the trail.

  
Sebastian took a piss and then headed back, giving a little chuckle at the sight of Jim shuffling around and coming up behind him, wrapping arms around him and nuzzling the back of his head, "Good work soldier. I'm so fucking pleased you’re alive." He let go and started stretching, groaning a little in the cold, "Ugh, now let’s stop playing silly buggers and get you back to John Watson to sort you out."

  
Jim groaned a little again and let Sebastian support his weight for him. When Sebastian started stretching Jim just sat on the floor and tried to keep himself alert. After about fifteen minutes Moriarty pulled up in the jeep with a grin, “Sorry I’m late – you’ve missed breakfast unfortunately but you’ll be there just in time to head to your morning classes. Get in.” Jim stared in incomprehension for a few moments, thinking he must have misheard, before he just sagged and then got to his feet and climbed in the car obediently. He didn’t have the energy to fight or argue and he certainly didn’t have the drive to make it through morning exercises. His body hurt from working out yesterday and then cramped while sleeping out in the cold. He didn’t feel rested, even though he’d actually slept most of the night.

  
Sebastian gave a grin of relief as the car drove up, assuming Moriarty was only talking to him and shaking his head as he hauled himself into the car, "Huh - no dinner, no breakfast, I'm going to be fucking collapsing by lunch." He tugged Jim's soggy jacket off as soon as he got into the jeep, flinging it over the middle seat and snapping his seatbelt in place, locking his hands behind his head and grinning - high from lack of sleep and success, "Aren't you proud of us Sir? 'S the first time I've done it without a survival kit, and I kept your son alive for you."

  
“You’ve certainly earned your extra credit,” he drawled out, turning the car around and heading back to camp. “It’s not my fault that you didn’t make any attempts to feed yourself. Watson will check you over, Moran, when we get back to school. If he decides that you aren’t fit for classes then you won’t argue with him, understand?”

  
"Why wouldn't I be fit for classes?" Sebastian challenged, still grinning like a maniac. "Besides, he's only got one bed and Jim needs that one far more than I do. I'll make it through till lunch; you might not be impressed but Darren will be."

  
Moriarty shook his head dismissively but didn’t say anything. Jim turned to Sebastian and looked at him incredulously, “Weren’t you listening? I’m going to classes.”

  
Moriarty grinned up at them in the rearview mirror. “He’s a tough kid for a civilian, I’ll give him that. Don’t you agree Moran? I do hope you’re able to make it across that pond today with your bad wrist. You’re looking a little blue around the edges Jimmy.”

  
"What! You're fucking not." Sebastian looked at both of the Moriarty's angrily, feeling rage building up inside him and leaning forward in his seat to hiss at Moriarty Sr. "You dragged him away from the hospital to do this fucking stupid exercise and he did it. Now you let him go back to the fucking doctor to get himself well, alright? You'll fucking _kill_  him at this rate!" His voice was getting louder, "And if you don't, I'll get Darren to send him to the medic, and if he won't I'll get the sergeant to because he's not going to die on the word of some bastard fucking _cunt_  like you. He's tougher than you'll ever be and you fucking well know it, because you're just a sad useless washed up old bastard who gets his kicks torturing kids younger and weaker than him."

  
Moriarty’s face went disturbingly blank for a moment before the carefree grin was back, “I think you’ll not be going to morning classes Moran. You’ve earned yourself a day in the detention center. Have fun convincing anyone of anything when you’re sitting in a cement room by yourself. Perhaps next time you’ll learn to keep that mouth of yours shut.” He grinned as Sebastian realized he’d just left Jim alone with Darren. The boy sighed tiredly and rubbed at his face before he tucked it away against his knees, just trying to block out what was happening. He’d been broken down pretty badly over the last few days and it was taking its toll on him psychologically. The jeep pulled up to the academy and Moriarty got out, “Alright Moran, with me. Jim get going. I’ll know if you aren’t at classes.”

  
Sebastian glared and then threw himself back into the seat, not saying anything to either of them and keeping silent as they headed back to camp. He watched mulishly as Jim trudged off in the direction of Darren and then gave Moriarty a glare of pure hatred. "You really do want to kill him, don't you? And I'm not entirely sure why managing to actually get some kip in solitary is a punishment for me. But it's not, is it? It's a punishment for him. Your own _son._ You fucking _cunt."_ He was seriously overstepping the line now, but he barely cared. He was full of a dark wrathful hate for a man he couldn't hit and was determined to express as much of it as possible.

  
Moriarty raised his eyebrows and the expression came off as condescending, “Just because I ejaculated into his mother’s worthless cunt doesn’t make him my son. I’m very aware of whom this is a punishment for, and I’m thinking that you’re more likely to behave if I make it worse for him, aren’t you?” He reached forward and brushed his hand over Sebastian’s hair, giving him a gentle push into the little room in the detention center. “Enjoy your stay, maybe I’ll remember to have them send you lunch.” With that he shut the door and quickly made his way to classes – he didn’t want to be late.

  
Sebastian glared at the closed concrete door and then sank moodily to the floor, wiping a hand over his face. Now that the exhilaration of surviving was passed he was feeling a backwash of adrenaline and didn't find it too hard to drift off, curled up on the stone floor with Jim's still soggy jacket folded under his head. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Child abuse, abusive punishment


	4. A Best Which has Failed

Darren barked at Jim as he saw the boy approaching, shaking his head, "Dear, oh, dear, look at the state of you. Did Moran not look after you last night?" There were some sniggers and a few knowing glances from the boys and Darren grinned, "Right, let’s see if you can manage that bloody assault course yet. Where is Moran - don't tell me you've killed him?”

  
Jim glared lightly as he was finally able to change clothes into his sweats. He ignored their chortles and insinuations as he shivered hard. “Yes, sir. He’s in the detention center.” Jim wasn’t interested in arguing or giving anyone shit today, he’d push himself until his body stopped and hopefully if he got hurt bad enough they’d send him away after it was shown what an unfit parent James was.

John had called Magnussen as soon as Moriarty had taken Jim and Sebastian away, leaving three messages on the man's mobile before giving up. He hadn't slept much overnight, worried about Jim out in the wild and listening to the rain with worry. When morning had dawned he'd hurried to Moriarty's room, angrily demanding to know where his son was and had still been arguing with him when Magnussen arrived. The three of them had headed quickly to the training grounds after that, somehow without raising his voice Magnussen seemed to get things done.

Jim was ready to drop after the laps, even though it warmed his temperature up some. He hadn’t eaten in three days now and he was severely dehydrated. Jim was in the middle of the assault course, wincing as his wrist was tugged as he swung himself across the bars but was determined to press through when Dr. Watson called him over urgently. He was standing there with his father and a man Jim didn’t know, everyone looked pretty angry. Jim quickly finished up the bars and sort of jogged, sort of stumbled over to them. “Yes, sir?”

  
Magnussen looked tight lipped as Jim stumbled over, pressing lightly over the cold parts of his body and saying quietly, "This is very interesting. I asked you to bring your son here, Moriarty, after looking over his files. I told you I wanted him. I'm not sure if I was unclear. Did you assume I wanted him ill? Emaciated? Injured and damaged? Should I make myself clearer that I wanted him alive?" John started to speak and then abruptly silenced himself as Magnussen raised a hand, his gazed fixed on Jim, "You. Tell me what has happened. Why are you shivering?"

  
Jim quickly glanced between his father and the new man before tucking his shaking hands into the front pocket of his sweatshirt, “It’s a chilly morning sir.” He answered evasively. Jim desperately wanted out of morning exercises but he didn’t want to piss off his father either.

  
Magnussen looked him up and down, his gaze shifted to Darren, who looked away nervously. There was absolute silence and then Magnussen turned to Moriarty, speaking softly, but the whole practice area could hear it. "You spend your time with a whore. You degrade your cock with her body. And when the one worthwhile thing you may ever have produced in your life finally comes into my clutches you do your best to destroy it. A best which has failed." Reaching up he slapped Moriarty around the face, giving a small smile as the man twitched. "Doesn't that make you feel silly?" Another slap, "You're fighting a war against a fifteen year old child." A third, "And he's wining." He dropped his hands and waved to dismiss both Watson and Moriarty. "Go. You..." He pointed at Jim. "Have a shower then come to my office. That one." He pointed the building out helpfully and then with a curious raised eyebrow look at Darren he stalked off.

  
Darren growled, "Do as he says."

  
Jim was not surprised by much but he openly gaped as he watched the new man slap his father repeatedly. Had he just lost his goddamn mind and started hallucinating? His father leveled a glare at him and Jim snapped his mouth shut so fast his teeth clicked together. Jim waited for Darren to give him permission, turning to leave quickly before anyone else could give him instructions otherwise. Jim managed to make it to the shower but his legs gave out on him and he sat on the tiled floor while he shook in the warm spray of the water. He struggled to work through everything he’d heard – the strange man had authority over his father somehow, the man had seen something in Jim’s files that interested him. Jim had not been able to work out why his father had enrolled him in school here – only figured that he couldn’t be arsed to take care of Jim himself and a discounted boarding school where he could keep an eye on his son was an ideal place. But now it seemed like this stranger had _told_  James to do all of that. Because he wanted Jim. He shivered again, thinking of the man’s cold eyes and didn’t think he wanted to know what the man’s intentions were. Jim didn’t like the man, he might have seemed like an ally against his father, but he’d said awful things about his mother, he wanted Jim for something.

  
Doctor Watson followed Jim into the locker rooms and Jim didn’t even have the energy to feel self-conscious. “Do I have to go with him? I’m tired and hungry and he gives me the fucking creeps.” Jim managed to stand without slipping on the wet tiles and turned the water off, before he dried himself and then sat on a bench so that the doctor could look him over. His head and wrist still hurt something fierce but mostly his body just felt numb with exhaustion and deprivation. “Thanks for those pills by the way. Saved me.” Jim leaned back against the lockers, too exhausted to keep his head up. He had no idea how he’d make it through this meeting with the stranger. 

  
"I'm afraid you do, yes." John answered quietly, "Magnussen owns this place, and he's got far more power than just the owner of a slightly suspect private school should have. Be very careful around him." He filled up a mug of water at the tap, added two spoons of sugar and handed it to Jim, "Drink that down, you look terrible. I'm so glad you survived the night, show me your hands and feet." He nodded in admiration as he noticed there were no signs of exposure and then took out another packet of paracetamol. "Take two more for now, just to get you through the next few hours. I've no doubt Magnussen will send you straight back to me and you can rest in the hospital bay, but if he sends you back to your room eat these." He handed across two snickers bars, "And then sleep."

  
Jim would just have to hope he’d be sent back to John, there was a lot more privacy and he’d feel a lot safer without any number of boys coming and going around him while he slept. Jim tried not to drink the water too quickly but he was so thirsty he ended up guzzling it down anyway. He coughed as John inspected his fingers and toes and gave him the sprained wrist he’d been hurting to check over, Jim didn’t think it was broken but there could be a stress fracture or something. “Sebastian took care of me, it was freezing but we stayed warm enough somehow.” Jim swallowed down the extra pills and tucked the candy away to eat during his meeting.

  
"Oh he took care of you, did he?" John sounded skeptical, suspicious of the boy’s motives. Pressing gently on Jim's wrist he shook his head and then tugged a bandage out of his pocket. "No more physical until this heals - and I will physically attack the next person who tries to make you do any." He wrapped the bandage tightly around Jim's wrist and tucked the end neatly away, then pulled a clean pair of slacks and a white vest out of his bag, "These might be a bit big, but you need something warm to wear. Come on, I'll help you get to Magnussen's office."

  
Jim glared at John’s skepticism, mistaking it for the sneering innuendo that everyone else had sent his way over his little camping trip with Moran. He hissed when John pressed and prodded at his wrist but stayed still until it was wrapped up. Jim looked up at John suddenly, determination in his face. “He abuses me, my da. Or at least, he did. I’m rather expecting he’ll start up again. My mother took me back to Ireland because he was hitting us—and other stuff.” Jim wasn’t sure exactly what he hoped John would do, but he knew the other man was soft and he’d already tried to stand up to Moriarty at every point possible. Jim wanted someone like that on his side. He gave a little sniffle and wiped at his eyes, just to add that extra little bit of pity while he got dressed into the clothes John gave him.

  
John's jaw tensed at the confirmation of what Moriarty was really like, but he just nodded, gently helping Jim up as he stood. "Magnussen may be able to help with that. Hopefully you won't have to live in fear of him here." When Jim was ready he helped him up, and then helped him over to Magnussen's office.

  
The door was open and Magnussen was sitting in front of a desk, gesturing Jim to sit in the empty chair in front of the desk. "Thank you Watson. Please go now. Jim will be returned to your care once we have had a little chat." He turned and gave Jim a calculating look as he sat, looking at the damage to his body.

  
Jim had to hold back a little sigh at that, he wasn’t _afraid_  of his father. He’d just – rather not have to live with him was all. They managed to make it to Magnussen’s office and Jim plopped down in the chair a little nervously, not wanting to be left alone with this man. He still hadn’t worked out what he could possibly be trying to use Jim for. It was a relief though to know he’d be allowed to go back to John and not his bunk. As Magnussen watched him Jim tilted his chin up and stared back defiantly. “You wanted to see me?” He prompted, pulling out a candy bar to chew on.

  
Magnussen nodded, giving a slight smile as Jim started eating the chocolate and leaning forward a little, still looking over him, "You are well? Well enough? I am very angry at your father right now. I might not look it, hmm? Sometimes I can be very, very angry without people realising." He paused for a second, closing his eyes and then looking at Jim from behind the protective lenses of his glasses. "You are James Moriarty, correct? No... not correct. I see. _He_  is James Moriarty. You are Jim. Let us both agree that James Moriarty is someone who... we could both manage without. I have the power to make that happen."

  
Jim felt his skin crawl but he was very good at hiding his unease from other people. “Well enough… I figure you’ve got about thirty minutes before I start getting dizzy and pass out.” It was best to be honest about his physical limitations at the moment, no sense trying to hide it and then embarrassing himself later. “You are angry because he disobeyed you?” Jim prompted. There was more to it than that, and he wanted to know what it was. He stilled in shock as he realized what Magnussen was saying. “…I wouldn’t disagree with that.” Jim started neutrally. “Why did you hire him if you could manage without him?”

  
"Thirty minutes... in that case I will be brief. You are very exact. I like that." Magnussen gave him an appraising look, watching Jim's reactions, seeing how he responded. "He has been a very useful part of this school, he has performed well, and taught excellently. However I'm sure it would not be too difficult to find another like him. But you... you are something different. I have seen your records. You have potential, a large amount, and I would very much like to see that develop and grow. I am not asking you to like me, or to enjoy my company, or even to respect me. Just to be able to work with me. As a first task - I would be happy to see that an accident happens to your father. Quite what that accident is will be your choice. Something humiliating, something painful, something that would retire him from work, maybe even permanently and... terminally." He looked at Jim levelly. "You may spend some of your thirty minutes deciding whether you would like that. Then we can discuss what I would require from you in return."

  
Something about the way Magnussen chose his words had Jim’s hair sticking up on end. “My records are pretty shit, definitely not the kind of thing that the head of a school would find promising.” He knew what Magnussen was suggesting, but Jim didn’t leap at the thought like the man probably suspected he would. Jim had tried to kill his father before, he’d been seven and nine years old each time but the idea still seemed just as impossible now. He knew logically it wasn’t that he could do this—he had a few ideas brewing already, but there was still something that had been beaten into him that left Jim doubting his own abilities against his father. “What do you mean? It sounds like I would be doing _you_  a favor.”

  
Magnussen raised his eyebrows, "I think you misunderstand what records I mean. Not academic ones but... all your records. Social services files, medical records, truancy reports. Please lift your mind away from thoughts of schools and lessons. You are far bigger than that. The 'favour' I will be doing you is carrying out whatever you wish to happen to your father. You choose what happens, I will carry it out. I was possibly unclear - English is not my first language."

  
“Those are private.” Jim tried to keep the scowl off his face but he couldn’t help his mouth tightening around the corners. Even as part of the administration here he shouldn’t have had access to all of those. “…I suppose it depends on if you want it to look like an accident or not.” This was crazy. Jim wasn’t sure what kind of game this was but he didn’t know how to ask without sounding childish.

  
"I can make it look like whatever you want. I can make sure that there are no police scurrying around." Magnussen gave a small smile and stood up, heading towards his bookshelf and staring at it, "Please do not underestimate the amount of power I have. I have read all the records there are about you, and it just so happens they fit what I am looking for. A young man I can give tasks to, who can carry them out, get things done for me. In return, I can get things done for you, with the power I possess. The first thing I can do for you is remove your father, or hurt your father, or do whatever you like to your father. I just ask one thing in return."

  
Jim was not especially comfortable around government types but the idea that this man did not answer to them at all didn’t sit right with Jim either. What really put him on edge was the power involved in this kind of thing, it sounded like bullshit but he could tell the man was being serious. Jim didn’t think that he liked the idea of being this man’s errand boy but he liked the idea of being with his father even less. “If my father dies then I don’t have to stay here anymore.” Magnussen knew that of course, Jim was just confused about what he perceived as a loophole in this plan. He took another bite of the snickers bar, hoping to keep his blood sugar up long enough to finish this conversation. “What is it you want in return for this favor?”

  
"If your father dies you will have no living relatives, and you will still be underage." Magnussen pointed out, "You will either be sent to foster care in some shitty little home in London - no money to help you along, no relatives to bring you favours or take you out. You will start in the world with nothing. Or, we can see to it that you remain here, under the foster care of..." he paused, long enough to let Jim think through all the people here who he could be placed in the care of and finishing with, "John Watson, who I believe you've met. In return? Well… first I want to know if I am wasting my time with you. If you would rather go and live in London, spend your life in some shitty low-level job, or turn to crime and live in and out of prison?"

  
Jim had been in the system a couple of times when he was younger, never for very long and he was always given back to his mother once she’d proven that she could fix whatever arbitrary concern the social worker had brought up. Those times were enough to put him off the idea entirely, he’d really rather not take his chances. But Jim didn’t like the idea of being this man’s slave either. John wouldn’t be bad, he didn’t think. Jim didn’t trust him of course, but he didn’t trust anybody. Al least he knew the man wouldn’t let him get sent on trips out into the woods. “I don’t want to go into the system again. Hypothetically, Watson would make an adequate guardian. Why wouldn’t you take me yourself?” Jim certainly didn’t want him to, but it seemed very strange that he wouldn’t, if he was going for control. “Now tell me what you want. Before I decide anything else.” Jim rubbed the heel of his palm against his eyes, trying to focus and stay present.

  
Magnussen gave a small laugh at that, which sounded as if he'd been taught how to laugh by a language coach. "I would very much _love_  to be your one sole guardian. It would make me very happy, and would make you far more pliable. However I am not a stupid man, and I doubt you would agree to such a condition because you are not a stupid boy. What I want..." He stopped looking at the bookshelves and turned back to the desk looking across at Jim. "Do you know there are so many ways to destroy a man? Killing them is really only a small part of things. Far better to leave the man alive and malleable. If you do... accept the offer to work for me, you will find yourself destroying many men, each one a scalp, a kill, earning you respect of your own, as well as my worker. Would you agree to do that for me? To take men and destroy them, to turn them into what I want, what we need?"

  
Jim squeezed the empty candy wrapper in his hand, “You aren’t talking about physically hurting them – you have other people to do that. You mean hurting their reputation, finances, that sort of thing.” Jim was exhausted and honestly would have agreed to just about anything if it meant he could have a lie down. Which, he was sure, was exactly Magnussen’s intention. “I’d want Watson as my guardian. Anyone else and the deal is off. And I want the ability to refuse a – a target or method.” Jim figured he could gamble, the worst Magnussen could tell him was no.

  
Magnussen raised an eyebrow and then nodded. "For each... target, I will give you a reward. Refuse the target and you will not get the reward. Your first reward is to have your father taken care of, in the manner of your choosing. Your first target is Augustus Moran. And our first method is Sebastian Moran. I want complete power over that boy, to break him how and when I choose." He raised a hand to stop Jim talking. "Think. Don't waste words. Think about your father. Think about your mother. Sleep and be looked after by John Watson. Then let me know your answer."

  
Jim clenched his jaw tight but nodded to show that he’d heard, even if he didn’t entirely understand. “My father put the Moran boy in the detention center after our little camping trip last night. He kept me alive, he shouldn’t be punished.” Jim was testing Magnussen to see how much give the man was willing to let him have. Jim stood and wobbled, gripping onto the back of his chair hard as his legs trembled underneath him but he worked to hide it.

  
Magnussen looked at him behind his glasses for a while and then nodded, his hands stroking the back of his chair, "Yes, you should let him out. Then return to John Watson. Rest and get some sleep." He looked at Jim pointedly, "I think you understand that until we have an agreement on this you will not discuss it with anyone, including the good Doctor." Reaching over the desk his hands brushed by Jim as he tugged open a drawer and pulled out a small plastic card. "Give this to the sergeant on duty at the detention centre, he will release Sebastian for you."

  
Jim frowned a little but nodded, agreeing not to discuss it with anything – he took the little card and mumbled a goodbye before heading out of the office as quickly as he could without betraying himself. Jim gave a sigh of relief as soon as he was outside, letting the oppressive atmosphere slide away. He shuffled over to the detention center and handed over the card while he tried to keep his eyes open. Almost done. The door to the little cement room was opened and Sebastian was inside, standing to his feet quickly. “Sorry to interrupt your nap, I thought you’d be more comfortable in the hospital wing.” Jim muttered sarcastically.

  
Sebastian stood up, frowning, his eyes widening in surprise as he saw Jim waiting for him, looking as if he were about to slump down on the spot. Hurrying over he wrapped an arm around Jim's shoulders, letting the boy rest on him and shaking his head, "I don't need the bloody hospital wing, you do, what the fuck did they do to you?" He gave a grin, "Don't worry about me, my seargant came and brought me food and gave me a ding around the ear for mouthing off to your dad. Can I please take you to Watson now?"

  
“M okay. Just fucking tired. Started morning classes but after a bit Magnussen pulled me out for a talk in his office.” Jim was aware that he couldn’t tell Sebastian what had happened, but it would look suspicious if Jim tried to cover up his relationship with the man entirely. Besides, it would be common knowledge with the way all the boys were listening in on the field. “Watson called him apparently. We should go.” 

  
Sebastian gave a shiver and then a scowl, "Mags gives me the creeps. He's a friend of my dad from way back, well, not friend. Colleague. They work together. My dad's in government." he kept his arm around Jim, helping him back to Watson's and still talking, "He groped me once behind a potted plant at an embassy thingy. Then he peed in the plant. He's just fucking odd." He hesitated and glanced at Jim nervously, "Please don't tell him I said that. Here we go. You stay in the medical centre and get Watson to fucking well bolt the door if the Fucking Bastard comes back and has any more stupid ideas about you going camping. I'll get back to class before Darren rips me a new one."

  
Jim tensed up, not liking the picture Sebastian painted and everything it could imply. “Yeah well I think he’s on my side for now. I’ll take creepy over the man apparently actively trying to kill me.” Jim held still for a moment with Sebastian’s arm still around his shoulders before he sighed and moved away, eternally relieved that he could rest now. “Go on then you crazy bastard. I’ll be here – probably until I turn eighteen if Watson has his way.” Jim clapped him on the shoulder before turning and heading in. The first thing he did was face plant on the open bed, closing his eyes blissfully and enjoying the moment before tugging off his boots. “I’m back.” He called out so that Watson would know he was there. “Home sweet home…” Jim muttered more quietly and with a fair bit of sarcasm.

  
Sebastian ruffled his hair, looking impressed, "Wow, if you've got Mags on your side that's fucking amazing. He's probably the only person here who can tell the Fucking Bastard what to do." He was rather liking referring to Jim's dad as 'the Fucking Bastard' - it saved him having to constantly remind both of them that Jim was related to him.

  
Watson gave a sigh of relief as Jim returned, looking not too much worse and having eaten his chocolate. He came in to look at Jim and put his hands on his hips, "Right. Stay in bed." He tugged a blanket up over the boy, "I'll get you some food when you wake up but for now you _really_  need to get some sleep.

  
Jim settled in as John pulled the blankets up over him and his eyes could barely stay open. “Would you adopt me?” As soon as the sleepy question was out Jim flushed and got his hackles up. He’d meant to double check of course – there was no way he would make a deal with Mags if someone else was going to get custody of him, so he knew he needed to ask John first. But he hadn’t meant to ask like that. “Just take custody of me, I mean. I don’t have family. Fuck, never mind.” Jim practically growled and pulled the blanket up higher so it partially covered his face as he rolled over away from John. Fuck he felt stupid.

  
"Would I - oh dear is that what Magnussen asked..." John sighed, looking at Jim's embarrassed and flushed looking face and then said gently, "I have clearance to be a foster parent and I have done it before. I would be more than happy to foster you, however unfortunately I won't be able to adopt you. I'm afraid you'll still be in Magnussen's clutches however I will be legally responsible, and will try to protect you as much as I can." He rather awkwardly patted Jim's shoulder. "However as your doctor I recommend thinking and recovering before agreeing to anything Magnussen offers you."

  
Jim nodded non-committedly, not sure how much he was allowed to share and not especially wanting to get on Magnussen’s bad side this early on for a bit of indiscretion when he was not well and not thinking clearly. “’S all I meant. I get it.” Jim didn’t like the insecurity of fostering, the idea that if he did anything Mags didn’t like he could be shipped off to anyone else on a moment’s notice. “Yeah, alright…” Jim meant to say something else but he was so worn out that his eyes closed against his will and he passed out, letting go of all of the stress and everything that had happened that day.

  
Sebastian headed straight back to Darren, who seemed oddly subdued, and continued with his day, catching up on sleep and food that evening. The next morning he headed straight to the medical rooms, knocking politely on the door and grinning as an irritated John Watson opened it, "He's _fine_ Moran... please tell me you haven't brought grapes..." Peeking over John's shoulder, he could just about see Jim's shape on a bed, covered in blankets and decided to leave it at that, trusting Watson with his patient. He really wanted to speak to Jim, mostly to gauge how bad the evenings session with his father was likely to be, but there were already a good few rumours spreading about him and the new boy, and repeatedly heading to Watson's rooms to check if he was awake probably wouldn't help. Instead he went for breakfast, keeping his head down as he saw Magnussen stalking around the buildings, relieved when the man didn't try to talk to him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: discussions of child abuse and murder, mentions of sexual harassment of a teen by an adult


	5. You Just Want to Wank Together for All Eternity

Moriarty had been brimming with anger over the last two day since that little _scene_  Mags had caused on the field. And there wasn’t anything he could reasonably do about it, he was on a _very_  tight leash right now. He stopped by the hospital wing and asked Watson how his son was doing, playing every bit the regretful father who had just taken things a little too far in his need to establish a relationship with his son, he’d been so sure the boy was faking to get out of things, spare the rod and all of that. Watson had watched him with clear dislike and informed him that he wasn’t allowed to see his Jimmy. The doctor let slip that his son wasn’t actually even here, that he was in a meeting with Magnussen. Moriarty had nodded and made his way to the window in Mags’ office that he sometimes left open, he could clearly hear voices from inside even though they were speaking quietly. They were just getting past the pleasantries when he saw the Moran boy walking by, he waved him over and pointed to the window with a gesture to be silent.

  
Sebastian had been expecting to really get it in the neck at his lessons with Moriarty but too his surprised the man was strangely subdued or, as he put it more crudely to the other cadets, "Like a dog with it's knackers done." He was heading to Darren one evening for some extra training when he was surprised to see the man wave at him, scowling and coming over, biting his tongue to whisper "What is it Sir? I'm a bit busy." He could hear Mags's voice coming out of the window, saying something about mutual respect and jobs carried out and lowered his voice.

  
Moriarty shushed him again and pointed to the window before shaking his head. They could clearly hear Jim reply, dancing around and giving some kind of vague agreement. “Of course. I’d like to have a clearer idea of your goals and methods before I sign on with you. You understand of course. As tempting as your favor might be I won’t sell my soul to the devil for it.”

  
Sebastian's eyes widened and he immediately crouched down, leaving space for Moriarty and shooting the man a slightly grateful glance. He had no idea why Moriarty had wanted him to listen in, and part of him was highly suspicious of it, but it still seemed like a nice gesture considering Sebastian had shouted at him the day before and then had his punishment revoked for it. He pressed his ear against the wall to hear Magnussen say, "My goal is to break Augustus Moran. To do this, I need to you get closer to his son. Close enough to find out... secrets. Family gossip, that sort of thing. Do you understand what I mean by this?" Sebastian looked up at Moriarty with wide eyes - a little shocked and a little amused as well. Grinning he murmured under his breath, "Any idea why old Mags is whoring your son out to me?"

  
Moriarty scowled and quickly cuffed the back of the boy’s head. “You shut your fucking mouth Moran, that’s obviously not what he means.” But obviously Sebastian wasn’t the only one with that concern because a moment later Jim spoke up clearly, “Are you insinuating that I’ll need to start up a relationship with him? Are you telling me to fuck him? Fuck his father? Am I going to have to do this every time you need blackmail material?” 

Sebastian smirked, ducking his head as Moriarty's palm knocked against it, knowing the man couldn't get away with doing much worse without making a noise. "Course it's what he means, heh, heh." He murmured, but was still a little surprised when from inside the room Magnussen answered clearly, "Yes, I am asking you to start a relationship with him. Not necessarily to fuck him - I just need you close enough that he'll invite you back to his occasionally. Whatever you need to do to get there. Please do not attempt to fuck his father, I doubt it'll work and it'll raise suspicions. If I ever need anyone to be caught in a compromising position with a little dark-haired slut believe me, I'll hire someone infinitely more talented than you. I need eyes and ears in Augustus's household, and having at least an amicable relationship with Sebastian is the best way to get it."

  
“Fine, are all of these _jobs_  going to be like this? And you know of course that I’m only going to be working for you until I turn eighteen. After that you won’t have a hold over me anymore.”

Moriarty snarled silently and whispered, “What the fuck, I should have taken him from his mother years ago if he was just going to turn into a little slut. That’s fucking disgusting.” He sneered at Sebastian and whispered, “Lucky boy to have a father so important that people are sending you whores.”

  
"Of course not." Magnussen snapped, heading towards the window and giving a small smile as he heart the furious sounding whispering below it. "Different jobs require different strategies. Of course you may leave when you turn eighteen, but I hope by then you'll be interested enough to want to stay. You'll see what I can teach you, and you want to learn. Moran is an easy target for you to start with - he's easy to read, simple to manipulate, and very predictable once you know him."

Sebastian couldn't help a wider grin as Moriarty got more het up, "I know, I'm surprised as well, nobody's ever sent me whores before. Now every time you shout at me you can imagine all the wonderful noises I'm going to hear from your son when I screw him..."

  
Moriarty reached out and gave Sebastian’s throat a little warning squeeze, trying to hold back like Magnussen had warned him to. “My son is not a fucking fag.”

Jim spoke from inside, “Alright… I think we have a deal then. As far as your favor goes… just do it in the way that’s most convenient for you. But I want it done.” There was a sound of chairs scraping on the floor as Jim stood. “Watson has agreed to your little proposal, although I imagine you already knew that.”

  
"Good - Deal" Magnussen gave a small lukewarm smile, holding out a hand and then taking Jim's wrist instead of a handshake stroking the inside gently. "I will speak to Watson, and yes, of course I knew it." In the safe knowlege that the two of them were coming out soon Sebastian stuck his tongue out around the hand threatening to choke him, "You want to bet? I give it a month before we're fucking - he seemed pretty eager for it when you sent us on that little camping trip together. If he hadn't been concussed I would've done the fucking deed there and then." The words about his father he'd have to think about later, but right now he was enjoying riling up Moriarty.

  
Moriarty released his throat and gave the boy a smack to the face but he stood as soon as Jim and Mags stepped out of the office. “If you touch my son I’ll kill you. I won’t have you turning him into a cocksucker.” With that he turned and left quickly, not wanting to get caught out. Jim was pale and genuinely a little afraid over what he’d just agreed to do – this job was simple, he was already close to Sebastian and he didn’t even have to have sex with him as long as he could get access to the house. It was the future that concerned him, the proprietary way that Magnussen touched him, and the certainty in his voice when he assured Jim that he would want to stay after he turned eighteen. For now he was going to head back to the hospital wing where he could think about all of this some more.

  
Sebastian gave a little groan as the back of Moriarty's hand knocked across his face but grabbed at the hand quickly before the man could leave, "Alright, before you start threatening me maybe you need to realise I'm the only person in the whole sodding world who knows what your son is up to." He hissed dangerously, eyes sparkling, "So think about that the next time you maybe want to find out more hmm? And the next time you decide I need to spend some time in solitary." He scooted off quickly as he heard doors starting to open, frowning as the full impact of the conversation set in. It sounded like his father might be in trouble, however more worryingly it sounded like Jim was getting involved in Magnussen's deals and schemes. He gave a little growl of frustration, feeling slightly jealous. Jim had just arrived, whereas Sebastian had been here for years and never once had Magnussen approached him other than for the occasional creepy grope.

 

* * *

 

  
The next day of classes went more smoothly, Jim finally got to try out the academics classes and they were surprisingly good, much better teachers than the shit hole school he’d come from. He was behind a lot but Jim liked a challenge and he was rapidly catching up. His head felt better and John had eventually gotten fed up of Jim having to run until he puked every morning so he’d drafted a more realistic morning exercise routine. It was still brutal but Jim wasn’t throwing up anymore and he wasn’t waking up with his muscles so sore he could barely walk. Jim was surprised at how much of their activities involved their partner, Jim saw quite a lot of Sebastian and he couldn’t help but think that being placed with him was no accident. Still there was almost no privacy until evening chores. They were given inventory duty in the supplies house, checking through everything quietly until Jim finally spoke up. “Thank you, for the other day. I don’t – I was just kind of shit and unhelpful so thank you for building the shelter and everything.”

  
Sebastian had thought through the conversation he'd heard for much of the day. He'd also tried to sort out his feelings for Moriarty Senior - a man who he'd previously rather respected and now thought far worse of. He's dithered with the thought of writing to his father, but knew that any letter would be read and censored, so for now he was content to leave it. Besides, no Magnussen-related plan seemed to be revealing itself. He also still felt the odd stab of jealousy at the thought that Magnussen had run to Jim for help, rather than to Sebastian. Other than that he just stayed vaguely friendly and aloof with Jim, looking up as the boy spoke to him while they were stock taking. "Hmm? Oh yeah well... it was good practice. I'm glad we did so well with it. You're looking a fuck of a lot better now, Darren even gave you a nod at training this morning, for him that's high bloody praise."

  
Jim could tell that there was something between them that hadn’t been there before, some kind of block keeping things cool and distant. “Yeah, I’m… adjusting, I think. I still don’t want to be here.” Jim swallowed, feeling a little uncomfortable. He had a few plans, nothing concrete. Jim didn’t want to be clumsy about this but he also didn’t have a lot of experience in doing this kind of thing so he just made an opening bid. “I’m still looking to get kicked out or sent away though. Fuck I hate it here. I’ve been thinking of a few plans and everything… contraband is monitored but there’s still plenty of trouble to get up to, you know?” Jim set the scene, drawing Sebastian in.

  
"You want to leave?" Sebastian turned to look at him, frowning. He couldn't see how Jim leaving would advance his plans any, or help Magnussen. Was he maybe trying to get sympathy? "Nah, don't do that, you're getting on well. Your trainings improving, and none of the lads are knocking you about, I've seen to that. Darren and the Sargeant have got used to you, and even the Fucking Bastard isn't doing badly. Besides, isn't Watson trying to foster you? There was a rumour going around. He's fostered a bloke before - his parents passed away and Mags wanted him to stay on so he stayed with Watson. He's in the civil service now." He added encouragingly.

  
“I don’t like it here. Everything is so – fucked up and structured. I don’t do well in that kind of environment.” Jim leaned forward and tried to reach for a box that was up higher than he could reach. He could get the step stool or – “Do you think you could get this down for me?” Jim smiled self-consciously and planned to press back against Sebastian when he reached over him for the box.

  
"Yeah, course." Sebastian reached over him, still frowning and trying to find a way to put it that wouldn't give him away, "You know... if Mags wants you to stay you really should..." he tried, doing his best to keep it seemingly light, as if he were talking on general terms. "You should, you know, he can give people great opportunities. For work, or support or... all sorts really. He's incredibly clever and very well connected. So, you know, if he's supporting - if he were to support you it would... well it would be worth thinking about staying..." he finished in a mumble.

  
“I’d rather take my chances with outside,” Jim muttered, getting nervous now that Sebastian was bringing up Mags. “I wouldn’t want to bend over for someone just to get their support. I don’t want a leash.” It wasn't something he wanted to do but Mags had given him orders and he wanted his father dead very badly. Enough that he'd sacrifice his dignity and his body this one time. Jim turned around suddenly now that Sebastian was at his back, stepping in close to his personal space. “So what do you want? Want to help me do something that will get me in enough trouble to get kicked out?”

  
"I... what?" Sebastian couldn't help the big silly grin spreading over his face now that Jim was close to him and seemingly proposing something that he very much wanted _and_  that Magnussen wanted him to do. He tried to appease his conscience by reminding himself that this was the best way to keep Jim in good favour with Mags, but he also knew that if Jim was being coerced into this.... He gave a little whine, squirming slightly and reaching up and pushing a piece of hair out of his fringe, "Y-you wouldn't bend over for someone just to get their support - that's, um, that' good. Just as long as you're not. You know. Just for me ... support." God but the boy was close and hot and beautiful and all skinny and pale. It was setting off a desire in him to protect Jim and also a more immature and emotional desire to screw the kid stupid.

  
At least Jim knew that the boy wanted him, it hadn’t been a difficult guess but it was pretty fucking clear now. “No,” Jim lied easily, “You’ve been kind to me and you want me, it’s uh – expedient. More expedient than finding someone else.” Jim realized that was not a very good answer and he had to take a little breath and try again, “I do – uh, _like_  you. Sorry I’ve not really done this much before.” He reached out daringly to start undoing the front of Sebastian’s uniform jacket, his white vest peeking out from underneath. Jim bent forward and pressed his mouth against Seb’s exposed collarbone, nipping at the skin there.

  
"You... wha-?" Sebastian was taken over by surprise, quickly glancing at the door to check it was shut. Closing his eyes to took a deep breath and a final attempt at decency by mumbling, "You - please don't think you have to do this..." in a rushed voice before sticking his hands straight down Jim's trousers, moaning gently and squeezing at his cock inside."

  
That sentiment was all well and good, but the fact was that Jim _did_  kind of have to do this. He’d asked if he had to do it, and of _course_  Magnussen had reassure him, winking and nodding along. Jim knew how these things worked. This job was too fucking important, it was his first one and it involved Mags’ favor. Jim needed to prove he could be dedicated. He did like the boy, Jim just maybe would have waited, or not wanted to do this in a storage container. “Fuck!” He yelped and whined as Sebastian stuck his hands down the front of Jim’s uniform trousers and groped at his cock. “Uhhh, right…” Jim undid Sebastian’s button and zipper quickly, trying to reciprocate and get this moving along.

  
Sebastian moaned into his neck, gently kissing and licking at it and murmuring, "Fuck... I wanted you from the first night in that shitty shelter. Didn't - didn't think you'd be arsed with me though. Thought you'd have enough on your plate, with - with everything..." Grinning up at Jim he tugged the front of the boys trousers open and then shoved them down, stroking him with one hand, wrapping practised fingers around his cock. Unlike Jim, he was used to having to get off in cramped spaces incredibly quickly, "Mmmm... fuck you feel amazing..."

  
“Uhh, wanted you too.” Jim muttered and pressed against the other boy. “As long as you’re okay with me, you know, leaving. After.” Jim reminded Sebastian of his _plan._ He was pretty sure even if it was completely against the school code Mags wouldn’t let him go anyway. “Uh, leave some marks on my neck. High up so the collar won’t hide them.” It was possible someone would walk in on them but just in case Jim wanted some kind of insurance - proof for Magnussen. “Oh, uh, fuck thanks.” Jim whined low back in his throat and bucked his hips up helplessly as he started to get hard. His hands were not nearly as practiced but he was enthusiastic and clever with his fingers over Sebastian’s cock. “You’re so big,” Jim muttered as his face flushed a little and he ducked his head to look down and hide his face some. He’d never had to say things like this before and it was a little humiliating but he pushed through.

  
"I-if you want to leave I guess you should." Sebastian moaned sadly, his hands still working, his hips bucking into the cool clever little fingers. He could feel Jim's cock growing in his hand and nuzzled at his neck, "C-can't mark you. Everyone'll see, you'll get the snot beaten out of you and your father will kill me. Fuck wish I could though... really do you hot little thing..." He grinned again as Jim complimented him, kissing up his neck and under his eyes, "Mmmm like it? Heh heh. God I never knew, never knew you'd be like this, so... fucking hot." Magnussen hadn't even ordered Jim to do this, he argued furiously with himself as he jerked the boy off. In fact, he seemed to remember Magnussen specifying Jim didn't have to do this. So Jim must want to and it must all be alright.

  
“Do it or I’ll find someone else that will,” Jim snarled suddenly. It was getting a little bit confusing, what was really going on and how much of this was his own choice and he wanted control. If Sebastian wasn’t going to do what he was told… Jim moaned and pressed his back against the shelving unit, thrusting into Sebastian’s hand and trying to remember to continue touching the other boy when his hand felt so good.

  
Sebastian frowned nd drew back at that, "You'll find someone else who... what?" He wasn't used to people shouting at him during sex, or at least not in a way that sounded genuinely angry, and his hand drew away from Jim's cock, wrapping around his wrist to keep him still, his heart plummeting, "Is that all you want? Some horny fucking soldier boy to put marks on you so Magnussen will let you leave, think you can't do a simple task properly?" He snapped out. "Yeah... maybe you should find someone else then." He wasnt sure how the boy had managed to get to him so quickly, but somehow he didn't just want this to ba a fuck of convenience.

  
“What? No.” Jim thought quickly and squeezed Sebastian’s cock gently, trying to get some friction even while he was holding his wrist. “Sorry, I thought you’d like that sort of thing – orders, you know. My bad.” Jim smiled a little and tried to work his wrist free. “Will you start touching me again? That felt good, and I want you to finish.” They were both very hard, it was going to be supremely awkward if Sebastian called this off and both of them had to finish their chores with hard dicks.

  
Sebastian hesitated, but there was no way he was going to back out now, not with a hard cock and Jim's fingers squeezing it. Relaxing a little he forced his mouth into a grin, pushing himself close to Jim and gently nibbling his jaw. "Heh... seems like you know me already. Course I like a bit of orders - I'm going to be a squaddie aren't I? Just... you know... bit of a hit to the ego, thinking I was some interchangable big rough lad to mark you up." He nuzzled at Jim's neck again and then sighed, "Unh... y-yeah. Alright. Tilt your head sideways. Above the collar-line, yeah?"

  
Jim relaxed with relief, leaning back harder against the shelving unit and smirking a little as Sebastian moved in closer to box him in. “Right, my bad then.” Jim was not experienced with this kind of thing by any means but he’d learned a few lessons from his mother over the years, and pacifying a customer was always important if you didn’t want to lose them. Still, he needed to maybe keep it simple until he established the relationship a bit more. Sebastian nuzzled at his neck, pressing his nose against Jim’s jaw and he tilted his head to give the boy more room and access. Sebastian had let go of his wrist and Jim started to stroke the other boy again. “Yeah, that’s good. Thank you.”

  
"Heh... strange little thing..." Sebastian nuzzled and worried at his jaw-line, nipping skin between his teeth and moaning gently as Jim's fingers worked over his cock again, releasing the boy's wrist and starting to stroke him before biting down into the skin, feeling a shiver go through him. "N-never left marks before... n-not visible ones Do, heh, do you want to leave one on me?" he wasn't sure if he wanted it, but it seemed only polite to ask. And leaving little love bites on Jim would be worth it just to see Jim's father trying not to explode in anger at the next lesson, with Sebastian smirking at him and making the odd obscene guesture when he thought nobody was looking.

  
Jim’s breath caught a little as Sebastian started touching him again and he shook his head, “No – no bad idea.” He let his free hand wander up Sebastian’s chest before letting his hand settle on the back of the boy’s neck and gripped him there. “You need to, uh suck the skin between your teeth. That’s what breaks the blood vessels. It’s easier to bite then as well.” Sebastian was leaving little nibbles on his neck that were going to fade before the morning.

  
"You've done this before, huh?" Sebastian gave a little gasping laugh. He was pretty used to being given instructions during sex, after all his first few times with the sergeant he'd been naive and clueless, but it seemed strange to get them from a skinny little twig like Jim. He realised as he sucked gently then harder at the skin around the bite that he didn't know Jim at all - what sort of experiences he had or what knowledge he'd picked up. His free hand reached up to cup the tilted side of Jim's face as he worked, his other hand stroking, squeezing and rubbing at the hard twitching cock in his hands. "Mmmmm..."

  
“Uh huh,” Jim grinned and nodded, pleased with the sounds he was wringing out of Sebastian. He wasn’t actually all that experienced – just sticky fumblings in the back seat, there were a couple of boy’s he’d experimented with back home but none of them had turned into anything serious. Not that Jim had wanted that. He groaned quietly as Sebastian sucked harder at his neck, reaching up to cover his own mouth to stifle the noise as his face flushed and his legs started shaking. Fuck, he hadn’t expected this would feel so good.

  
"Heh... mmmmm oh fuck..." Jim's hands were moving fast now, and Sebastian started on leaving a second little love bite, pushing his knee up to press up gently against Jim's balls as his hand started to work, rubbing around in circles, sliding a thumb over the head, feeling slick sweat make the whole process easier, and flushing as he looked down to see Jim, trembling and gasping, covering his mouth, his legs shaking, leaning into Sebstian for support. He worked a little row of sucked marks up to Jim's ear and then bit on the earlobe murmuring, "You are fucking gorgeous.... want to see you cum for me lovely, want to see how good I can make you feel." Some of them were cliches - words the sergeant and grunted when he'd finally gotten Seb on his knees and taught him how to give a man a good blowjob. But right now with Jim they suddenly seemed meaningful and he moaned and whimpered, his hips thrusting forward into Jim's palm.

  
Sebastian was pretty good at this, better than either of the boys Jim had experimented with. He bucked his hips up into Sebastian’s hand, trying to keep quiet and still enough. The bite marks on his neck stung wonderfully and Jim worked his little hand around Sebastian’s length furiously, trying to make up for lack of skill with sheer friction. “Ugh, yeah I’m going to – fuck!” The lights went out unexpectedly and Jim startled badly as he was suddenly unable to see anything except for the faint glow from the lamp outside through the window on the door to the supply building. “Shit,” Jim hissed before grabbing the dusting rag and cleaning himself up some and doing his pants back up before he handed it over to Seb. There was an outline at the door and then the sound of the door locking echoed in the room.

  
"S-shit... don't... shit..." Sebastian moaned and slid down to the floor as Jim suddenly moved away from him, grabbing his hard cock and giving a pleading whimper as the lock clicked over the door, "Oh fuck, are we... fuck there's no lock on this side... give me a minute... shit." He closed his eyes, getting a small tingle from the thought that Jim might have organised this, having him locked up in a compromising position. He looked up, saw Jim looming over him in the dark and moaned, stroking himself harder, "S'S it al-alright to cum Sarge?" he gasped, mostly out of habit, but also in a bad attempt at a joke.

  
“What? Uh – hold on, sorry.” Jim crouched down in front of Sebastian and accidentally stepped on him some but Jim found the boy’s ankle and he stroked up Sebastian’s leg in the dark, trying to find his crotch while he undid his own pants again now that he knew he wasn’t going to get walked in on. He grabbed Sebastian’s free hand and directed it to his cock before Jim started stroking him off again, Sebastian’s and his hand both working the other boy over. He’d basically ended up crouched overtop of the other boy and it wasn’t the most comfortable position but no one was tipping over in the dark so it was manageable.

  
"Ow, fuck!" Sebastian yelped as Jim's foot stepped on his instep, giving a laugh as they fumbled around in the dark, and reaching up to grab Jim's wrist as soon as the boy was positioned, tugging him down in a mess into his lap, "A-ahhh oh shit we are in so much trouble..." He was laughing now, his mouth finding Jim's face and kissing the side of his eye, working it's way down to Jim's mouth where he pressed against soft lips, trying to press his tongue inside while his hand guided Jim's back to his crotch.

  
“Shit,” Jim hissed as he tumbled over slightly but Sebastian was just pulling him into his lap. He stilled a little as Sebastian kissed him but didn’t pull away and after a moment he opened his lips to allow the other boy to work his tongue inside. Kissing was a little more intimate than what he’d been planning on but he could roll with it. Jim finally got a grip on Sebastian’s cock again and he stroked him off quickly, pushing hard for them both to finish soon since they had this little problem with the door to deal with. Someone could realize their mistake and come back any moment. “Uhhh, fuck Sebastian. Moran. Gods that’s good…” Jim thrust up into the boy’s hand a few more times before he came, gasping and moaning as he tried to avoid getting any of the mess on their uniforms.

  
He whimpered as Jim said his name, hugging him tight and moaning against him as he came, shaking, and whispering "shit" as he realised that they were both making a mess. After a few seconds of heavy breathing he pushed himself upright, taking the rag from Jim as he eyes adjusted somewhat to the gloom, cleaning himself off and tugging his trouser up. "Well fuck this, now what?" He grumbled, stumbling over to the door and giving the handle a shake.

  
Their clothes actually fared quite well which was a huge relief. As it was Jim was going to have to sneak the rag back to the bunks where there were laundry baskets. Seb got up and Jim took a moment to try and calm himself down and still the shaking in his hands when it started to hit him what he’d done. “Uh – they’ll notice we’re gone at bed check. We could bang on the door? We might end up spending the night here.” Jim shook his head in frustration when he realized that he’d only spent one night in his own bed all week.

  
"We could indeed bang on the door." Sebastian leered at him, then realised the affect had probably been lost and kicked the door in frustration, reaching up to pound against it with his fists, "Alright whichever fucker locked us in here! Get us out, or I'll beat the fucking shite out of you. Come on, stop being a dick." They would be noticed missing at the bed check, but it would be somewhat embaressing to be dragged out smelling of cum.

  
Jim picked up on the innuendo in Sebastian’s tone and he flipped him off even if the other boy couldn’t see it. “Not without condoms you fuck, and I doubt you managed to sneak any of those in here with that lighter of yours.” Jim paused and sighed out a breath before continuing, “I might be able to weasel some out of Watson.”

  
"Weasel what - condoms - wait, seriously?" Sebastian hesitated, a little impressed but also slightly panicking. He'd never really thought about taking a relationship to that level before. With other boys he'd only ever been in the realm of quick fumbles in the dark, or snogs behind bushes. Jim seemed incredibly secure and certain that this would progress a lot faster. "Well, yeah, of course." He bragged, not wanting to seem naive in front of Jim. Turning to the door he slammed his fist against it again, "Hello? Anyone there? Let us the fuck out."

  
Jim frowned and looked over at him, “Well yeah unless you just want to wank together for all eternity. If you don’t want to do anything else that’s fine.” That would actually be a bit of relief, there’d be no pressure to continue after their condoms ran out or if they didn’t have one on hand. Jim’s mother had been religious about condom use, except that one time she wasn’t.

  
"I - well I hadn't thought about eternity yeah? Can we get out of this sodding room before you propose." Sebastian bashed on the door fruitlessly and then sighed, leaning against it and running a hand through the short buzzcut of his hair. "Just - that was nice, yeah? Like to do it again. And, heh, your dad will fucking lose it." That thought cheered him up, enough to make him stumble sideways in surprise as the door clicked open and slid out, the sergeant behind it looking stern and confused, eyebrows raising as he saw them, "Sebby! And Moriarty's lad. What are you... oh? What are you doing?"

  
“Fuck off,” Jim hissed, feeling scrutinized in a way he didn’t like at all. This whole job felt strange and he knew he was being clumsy but Jim was inexperienced and there was only so far his bullshit could take him. “Yeah…” Jim bit his lip and shivered at the thought of what his dad would do. Fucking lose it was right. Hopefully whatever protection Magnussen was offering would circumvent some of that. They were interrupted when the sergeant came in and Jim stood quickly, blinking as the lights switched on, “We were doing our chores, taking stock of supplies, when someone turned the lights out and locked us in. Probably didn’t realize anyone was in here.”

  
The sergeant looked around, taking in the smells, their rumpled appearences and then smirking, "Well... I think the CCTV footage of the room should confirm that, hmm?"

The man watched Jim's face until Sebastian rolled his eyes and gave him an awkward cuff on the soldier, "C'mon Sarge, there's no CCTV in here. Stop pissing around. We just fooled a little bit, yeah?"

The sergeant was still looking at Jim, almost predatorily as he wrapped an arm around Seb's shoulders and then reached down to squeeze his cock possessively while Sebastian squirmed, "Oh? Did Sebby here want a try with someone else? Yeah, he does that occasionally." Sebastian tried to laugh it off, not looking at Jim at all until the sergeant let him go with a pat on the shoulder, "Both of you scram or I'll stick you both in solitary." He looked at the marks on Jim's neck and shook his head, "Shouldn't have done that to him Sebby - Moriarty'll murder him."

  
Jim felt at a little sick at what the sergeant was so casually implying. He’d have to think about what to do later. Jim frowned and didn’t say anything though, he felt like if he opened his mouth he’d start yelling or get sick. “Thank you,” he muttered before grabbing the towel, rolling it up, stuffing it in his pocket, and dragging Sebastian away by the arm towards the bunks. “Fuck. Lets just… shower and go to bed.” The Sergeant had been right though, Jim was fucked as soon as his father saw the marks. That hadn’t been his best idea.

  
"Oh? Going to shower right now? You've still got chores to do." The sergeant gave a smirk which was wiped off his face as Sebastian suddenly rounded on him, "Yes we are going to fucking shower - and before you start barking out orders or threats you should know that Jim here is pretty damn close up with Mags. if I were you I would be careful what you get involved in." The sergeant frowned at him, the two of them facing down before Sebastian allowed himself to be dragged into the showers, shutting the bunkroom door and wrapping his arms around Jim for a second before the rest of the boys arrived, "Don't worry..." he whispered fondly, "He's just being a bastard. He is sometimes. But mostly he's pretty alright. Mags'll protect you from your dad, you know that. And Watson's looking out for you as well."

  
Jim tensed up when Sebastian said that he was close with Magnussen. It could have just been a guess based on the rumors going around and the story of Mags slapping his father and taking Jim to his office. He didn’t _think_  that Sebastian knew about his job, it wouldn’t make sense for Magnussen to out himself like that. Still, it gave Jim pause and it was difficult to stay relaxed and pliant. Especially with all of the tension between the sergeant and Sebastian. When they got to the showers Jim took a minute to lean into Sebastian’s chest, letting the boy comfort him despite the awkwardness he felt at the hug. “And I have you too, don’t I?” Jim asked innocently, calculating how much that little stunt had just bought him.

  
He felt Jim tense up and wasn't sure why, awkwardly patting him a bit and smiling at the question. "Course you have me. I'll beat the shite out of anyone who tries to hurt you, and I'll protect you on exercises, make sure you don't get trapped or hurt." He broke away as noise outside signalled the rest of the boys returning from chores and gave Jim a grin and a wink. "Don't worry about the Sergeant, I'll take care of him. He's just all sulky that I've made a new friend."

  
Jim wasn’t exactly looking for a protector, he had more than enough of that in Magnussen, but he was glad that Sebastian wanted him safe at least. “Thank you,” he muttered before they broke away. Jim stripped quickly and threw his dirty uniform and the rag into a laundry bin before stepping under the water and scrubbing at his skin with soap. “Maybe I won’t leave.” Jim said, leaving another hook for his story.

  
"You'll do alright here." Sebastian murmured, then turned as the boys entered the shower, laughing and joking with them.

He had to cuff one around the head as he bumped purposefully into Jim with a, "So where were you and Moriarty anyway?"

"What do you think, we were locked in a cupboard giving each other a handjob." Seb laughed taking refuge in audacity and the others sniggered and laughed along with him, giving Jim sidelong glances and clearly not believing it for a moment. They dried and dressed into night-clothes and then stood by the bed for inspection, Sebastian studious ignoring the irritated glance of the sergeant and knowing that some of the boys would already be starting to wonder about Jim's love bites.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Student/teacher relationship, mentions of sexual abuse by a teacher. Blackmail of a minor into a sexual relationship, dub-con.


	6. Be a Miracle Worker for Me

Jim slept through the night, he always slept well now because of how exhausted he was. The next morning he made his bed well enough to pass inspection. In the breakfast hall people were starting to whisper and stare but Jim ignored them, for the most part enjoying his little rebellion. He actually ate a good portion of his breakfast as well and before they knew it Jim and Seb were hustling to the locker rooms to change for morning drills. “Sleep well?” Jim asked pointedly as he started stripping. He was taking a bit more time than he needed to, taking off his clothes and making too much eye contact with Sebastian to be appropriate, bending over as he untied his boots.

  
Sebastian swallowed as Jim bent over, wondering whether he'd be allowed to leave more little marks on the pale tight arse. Particularly bite marks. He turned away quickly and concentrated on his buttons, "Yeah. Had some good dreams..." he smirked, then scowled at a boy who looked about to mention something about Jim's hickeys.

It wasn't until they got to PE that it was mentioned, Darren giving Jim a cuff around the head and sniggering, "Awww... looks like little Moriarty's found someone special to suck. Either that or we've got some pretty fierce flees now." He looked at Jim and shook his head, "Silly little bollocks you're dad'll loose it, I'll leave you for him. Get stuck into your training, FUCKING ALL OF YOU." He barked and the boys started the work-out with a jump.

  
Jim reached up to grab at his head where it was hit, scowling fiercely as he started his laps. On John’s orders Jim was to avoid the obstacle course until his wrist healed so he mostly jogged laps, did sit ups and that sort of thing in an effort to get his cardio up to snuff. Jim was a little bit irritated that Darren hadn’t given him a punishment, it probably would have been an act of mercy. His father’s class was at the end of the day, right before dinner and they all filed into their seats and Jim took his assigned seat next to Sebastian, trying to scrunch his neck up so that the marks would be more difficult to see.

  
Sebastian felt on fire - the thrill of what was coming, the joy at having done something that would drive Moriarty mad, sent adrenaline pumping through him, and his mornings workout when went well. He gave Jim a little grope at lunch, not caring who saw, and even managed to keep his excitement through the normal classes. He sat next to Jim in the class, staring brazenly forward and giving a huge smirk at Moriarty as he appeared, raising an eyebrow challengingly, hands crossed over his chest.

  
Moriarty noticed Sebastian’s smirk and knew what it was about, he’d had plenty of his colleagues come up to him today and remark on the hickies on his son’s neck. He’d flown into a rage once already but it was cooled now, under control. He had thought it through and James wasn’t going to be provoked by an arrogant boy. The way his son sat cowed in the seat was enough to help him keep his temper for now. He started his lesson on basic POW conditions and what to expect while he waited patiently for the right moment. 

It was almost an anticlimax when Moriarty just glanced over them and said nothing. Sebastian was tempted to goad him but Jim was looking so small and worried that he bit his tongue and concentrated on listening. Whatever happened nobody would accuse him of loosing his place at the top of the class. Halfway through he needed a piss, giving Jim a pat on the shoulder and asking slightly insolently to be excused, rather surprised when he was allowed.

  
Moriarty grinned as Sebastian left and turned to fill up the large plastic sink with water. His room had all kinds of little modifications because he needed them for lessons. “Now, part of being taken as a POW is interrogation. You are only to give your name, and your ID number and that is the only information you will allow to fall into enemy hands.” Moriarty lectured while the sink filled behind him and he turned to dig something out of one of the trunks. “Jimmy here is going to give you lot a demonstration, because he has some experience with this, don’t you? Come up to the front, now.” Jim stood on weak knees, already knowing what this was and desperately wanting to sit back in his chair. But he stood and made his way to the front of the class, holding his arms behind his back obediently when he saw the length of rope his father had fished out of the trunk. “Good boy. Now, I’m going to ask you some questions and you’re going to only give me your name and your student ID number.” Moriarty pressed briefly at the hickies on Jim’s neck and grinned before he grabbed Jim by the back of the neck and dragged him to the full sink before dunking his head in and holding it under water. This was one of his favorite methods to get Jim to talk when he was little and thought he could hide something from his father. No pain, no marks, it was mostly used to terrorize someone into revealing information. Jim struggled hard but Moriarty came up behind him and bent him over the lip of the sink while he held his head under the water. “Very good. Do you see the bubbles? He’s blowing air out of his nose so that he doesn’t inhale any water by accident and choke. Doing that gets harder the longer this goes on for.” He dragged Jim’s head up so that he could gasp for air and asked, “Who were you fucking then slut, hmmmm? Give me an answer and I’ll make it stop.” Before Jim could answer Moriarty dunked his head down again, holding him there while he struggled. He pulled him up again and gave him a chance this time, Jim only gasped out his name and school ID. After that it went a bit mad, Jim continued to try and keep the water out but the longer he was held under the more often he choked on it and the more got into his lungs. Moriarty continued to ask the question and eventually Jim stopped responding because it was better to use the time to breathe. His struggles were controlled by his tied hands and Moriarty’s weight pressing him down. The class looked pretty stunned and uncomfortable but they were trying to hide it as they watched their teacher torture his son. “Who fucked you?” Moriarty screamed in Jim’s face as he shook him.

  
Sebastian took a piss, grinning at the thought of Moriarty squirming under the knowledge of what him and Jim had done. He froze though as he sauntered back and heard the noises, frowning and then his eyes widened as he realised that it was Jim with thin arms tied behind his back, Jim being harmed and struggling. Giving a growl he strode forward, pushing Moriarty backwards and yanking Jim out of the water, putting a hand on his chest to move him protectively backwards and spitting into Moriarty's face, "I bloody well fucked him. Student ID: 24069 name: Sebastian fucking Moran. I fucked him and if you hurt him again I will beat the _shit_  out of you, alright?"

  
Moriarty glared as he was pushed back and rounded on the other boy, “Cadet you are interfering with a simulation, you can either let him go and take your seat or I will send you to the detention hall.” He grabbed onto Jim’s elbow and pulled, “Let him go now, you’re in enough trouble as it is.” Jim wheezed and coughed in exhaustion, all of his limbs shaking with adrenaline.

  
Sebastian stared at him, the fear hammering through his veins and shooting off more adrenaline before he hauled back and punched Moriarty right in the face, knocking him down and standing over him, sneering, while the rest of the pupils backed away. "You? You are fucking NOTHING! Just some sadistic Irish fucker who sucks Magnussens cock for a job. I am the son of Augustus Moran. I am a fucking LORD. And you stand there with your weedy little body and your cunning little sadistic mind and you think you're better than me?" He saw Darren and the Sergeant running over out of the corner of his eye and knew dimly that he was probably a hairsbreath away from getting expelled which was why when he stomped down his foot he stopped it an inch away from Moriarty's face, "I could've maimed you here and now." He hissed, "Don't fucking forget that."

  
“Fuck, Seb _stop,”_ Jim hissed as he felt his hands start to go numb. His wrists had been tied too tightly and water still soaked into his uniform from his head and neck.

Moriarty stood slowly and dusted off his trousers, appearing unaffected and Jim shrunk away from Sebastian, not especially wanting to be in the fallout zone. Moriarty smiled and took Jim back to stand by him, “You’ve made your decision. I’ll see you expelled, Moran. There are clear rules and you’ve broken enough of them to be kicked out three times over you little fuckwit. I hope you enjoyed it while it lasted.” He brushed his hand over the stubble on Jim’s head, grinning at the innuendo.

  
Sebastian stood shaking in rage and helpless anger, glaring at him and watching Jim standing next to his father looking small and diminutive and so vulnerable. He heard Darren swearing behind him and ripped off a perfect salute before turning stiffly, letting the Sergeant lead him away to the detention centre without looking back. Once there he stared at the wall, glowering as the sergeant locked the door with them both inside it. "We'll see what Mags says, yeah, although he's not the best person to have your fate in his hands. And either way boyo you are in a shit-ton of trouble."

  
Darren took Jim back from Moriarty as soon as Seb was out of the room and untied the boy’s hands, giving Moriarty a warning glare when it looked like he was about to protest. There was enough shit flying right now and Darren was going to do the smart thing and took Jim to the hospital wing.

Jim was still shaking and coughing occasionally, everything was shiny and unbearably bright with all of the adrenaline running through his veins. His father hadn’t done anything like that since he was ten. Jim tried to pull himself together as he reached the hospital wing, wondering if he’d make it through a single day without winding up there. “Watson,” Darren barked out, looking for the other man.

  
Watson came out, eyes widening when he saw Darren holding Jim, and knocking his head against the wall. "What the hell happened?"

Darren shrugged uncertainly, looking behind to check that Moriarty hadn't followed them. "Moriarty used him for a demonstration. Water-torture for POWs. Moran... fucking lost it. Smacked him in the face. He's cooling his heels in detention now."

John sighed, taking Jim as Darren pushed him towards him and helping him back to the bed, "I don't know why I let this boy out of my sight, I really don't. Everyone out there is mad. What _was_  Moran thinking?"

"Don't think was." Darren shrugged, "It would be a pity for him to get expelled, he's a fucking good cadet, and he could take a punishment if Mags threw the book at him. Moriarty was pretty damn angry though."

  
“Sorry,” Jim muttered as he was sat down on the bed. “Fuck, I’m okay. It’s fine.” It had just scared the hell out of him. “Passed the exercise anyway.” Jim had some experience with getting checked over after this kind of thing and automatically moved to remove his shirt and vest so that John could listen to his lungs. “S okay. M not hurt or anything. I didn’t mean for Moran to do that.” He was still trying to get control of the tremors.

  
John grabbed his stethoscope, feeling his heart clench as Jim automatically breathed in deep for his lunch to be checked. He didn't want to poke at that particular wound though in case far too much was revealed and so clenched his teeth and checked Jim's lungs. "You are hurt, you look terrible. And you certainly can't be responsible for any stupid thing Moran does." He frowned and reached up to the marks on Jim's neck, "Please don't tell me your father is responsible for these as well?"

Darren gave a half smile, "No... those were from Moran."

John looked up at him gaping, going to the worst possible conclusion, "How dare he - fucking - how do you know?"

Darren shrugged, "Partly because he's a randy little sod and partly because he screamed 'I fucked him' at the entire class several times. If I were you I'd give his arse a check as well." He sniggered.

  
Jim just turned off in response to the stress, everything that had happened and John jumping to the wrong conclusions and Darren harassing him was a little too much for him at this point. “Make him leave.” He kept his eyes down and to the side so he didn’t have to look at either of them. Jim wouldn’t have Darren there to mock him and laugh. “He didn’t fuck me,” Jim whispered roughly, his throat hurt something awful after inhaling all that water.

  
"Oi you watch it you little-" Darren started, stepping forward and then retreating at John's fierce glare, with his hands up, "Alright. I'll - yeah."

He scooted off and John looked at Jim sadly, shaking his head. "Who didn't - Moran?" He sighed and finished the examination and then let Jim lie down, switching on the kettle and getting out a sachet. "I'll give you a drink that'll help your throat. Rest now, and you'll be back at lessons tomorrow..." He hesitated. "I am now legally responsible for you so... if you want me to strongly recommend to Magnussen that you only attend intellectual lessons I'd be more than happy to. Although I suspect he'll have several words with your father. And Moran. _Fucking_  hell." He took a few deep breaths, shaking his head and staring at the floor, "Not this bloody mess again."

  
“Yeah,” Jim croaked, “There was – no penetration. I’m doing a job for Mags. That’s part of it.” Jim wasn’t sure exactly how much he was allowed to tell John so he kept it vague enough. “Father wasn’t pleased of course. He waited until Sebastian left and then he – tied me up and held my head under water and they all sat and watched him. The other cadets. Seb went mad.” Jim watched John move around curiously, “What do you mean again?”

  
"I - I really shouldn't tell you." John sighed and then sat next to him, his jaw clenching as he heard what he'd suspected, that this was all being done for Magnussen. "Magnussen collects people, particularly those useful for whatever little rings he's running. He's messed with a few other pupils but there was one a few years ago - Holmes. He had a terrible time, bullied, knocked around, terrible at the physicals. Magnussen offered to get him out of them in order for 'jobs' done. He did a few, never told me but I used to treat him afterwards and, well, I can spot a pattern. Then he did something... unforgivable. Involving his brother. It was very... calculated. Very cold. I certainly never forgave him for it. Magnussen was delighted, less so when his very next act was to undercut Magnussen and walk away with a large amount of money, and a considerable amount of power. I believe they now have a sort of truce. Even so, I still remember picking him up after every attempt, patching him up." A dark and furious look passed over his face. "Magnussen uses people and he changes them, and in my opinion always for the worst."

  
Jim frowned, piecing the story together. “It doesn’t matter. I’ve got… limited options and the alternatives are worse.” Jim had John as his legal guardian now, which was something. “Could you – ugh fuck. Do you have any condoms I could take with me? I’ll hide them, I promise, it’s just-“ Jim frowned and debated whether he should share what he’d seen but decided that because Sebastian hadn’t told him anything it was just observations. “I think Sebastian’s been sexually active – with the sergeant and later he’s going to want—sex and if he’s been with other people I would rather not put myself at risk if I can help it.”

  
John blinked then his eyes widened, "What? The Sergeant? That's a huge violation of trust, the sergeant is his _teacher_  for gods sake..." He shook his head, teeth clenched and looking at Jim, shaking his head, "Ordinarily I'd refuse to even contemplate supporting what you're suggestion. Not least because I seriously suspect your motives for wanting sexual intercorse - particularly with Moran. However... I know he certainly has been with other people, in some capacity, and I'd rather not treat you for syphilis on top of everything." Tight faced he walked over to a drawer and tapped it. "You'll find them in there. Take them whenever you need them. I suspect he has some in his trunk." With that he left the room, finding it all a bit to hard to cope with at this moment, the sort of things he was finding himself having to support.

  
Jim frowned, not appreciating what he saw as pity, but ultimately John had shown him where the condoms were and that was all that really mattered. Jim hopped off the table and got dressed before he grabbed a couple from the drawer and snuck out the front. John wasn’t supervising him and he’d technically suggested that Jim stay the night but he needed to see Sebastian and make sure he was okay. So Jim snuck into the detention center and found the solitary rooms. He walked along the hall and peeked in each one until he found Sebastian’s door. Jim opened up the grate near the floor and hissed, “Sebastian!” Quietly, trying not to draw any attention to this area of the building.

  
Sebastian was slumped down on the floor, but he stood up as he heard Jim's voice, quickly going to the grate and trying to see him through the little grill, "Jim! Fuck, are you alright? Are you allowed in here? I can't get you into any more trouble, I shouldn't have said anything to the Fucking Bastard I know just couldn't fucking watch that. Not after I'd promised to look after you. You sure you're alright? Has Watson seen you?"

  
Jim grinned tiredly and sat with his back against the door to support himself, “Yeah I’m okay. It’s not meant to do any permeant damage. I snuck out to check on you, yes Watson’s seen me. He’s my guardian now, my father no longer has custody.” Jim sighed and relaxed some against the door. “You shouldn't have done that, what am I supposed to do if you get expelled? You know that’s what he wants, unlimited access to me and no one to watch my back.”

  
"I know." Sebastian snapped, not wanting to be reminded that what he'd done was incredibly stupid. "The sergeant had a few words with me. Quite a few words. Rather loud words. And slapped me a few. Nothing too bad though, he wants me able to get through any punishment Mags throws at me if he takes that route." He sighed, sliding down to sit on the other side of the door. "How was I meant to watch that? His hurting you. You'll always have Mags to watch your back, he can't prevent that, and Mags won't do any damn silly things like try to knock him out." He grinned, "He'll have a bruise there though. And everyone will see it. And know that I put it there." He hesitated and then dropped his head into his hands, _"Fuck_  I am in trouble."

  
Jim winced a little when Sebastian brought up the Sergeant but soldiered on, “Uh, John gave me condoms so there’s always that to look forward to if you make it through.” Jim was very sure that Magnussen wouldn’t let Sebastian be expelled but he’d just have to see. “You got a thing for leaving bruises on Moriarty’s, hmmmm?” Jim gave a grin and tried to lighten the mood. “You’re alright. Just be a good boy and nod and smile and tell them how sorry you are. Spout some nonsense about loyalty to your comrades and not being able to let that go undefended. You’ll be fine.”

  
"Heh - looks like it." Sebastian paused. He really wanted to ask Jim to ask Magnussen to let him off but that would involve revealing a lot more of the overheard conversation than he wanted to. "Yeah, yeah, I'll be a model of contrition. Give the Fucking Bastard a nice long apology, head down, all sorry. They'll never believe I did it out of loyalty though, usually I just laugh. 'S all round the camp that I gave you love-bites anyway so just... watch out. Specially while I'm in here." He pressed his fingers up against the grate and grinned, "Where are you... I can't believe you got condoms off Watson."

  
Jim smirked and reached an arm behind his back to press the backs of his fingers against the grate so that Sebastian would know where he was. “Watch out for what? Are they going to want to beat the piss out of me or leave a few love bites of their own? You know they thought you raped me?” Jim’s tone was a little accusatory by the end, trying to suss out what the boy had done to earn their mistrust. “Yeah, it wasn’t that hard to be honest. Watson doesn’t want me getting sick so… it was a pretty easy sell.”

  
"I dunno..." Seb felt a bit uneasy at the possibility, "They'll joke and snigger, maybe some of the older ones might feel you up a bit - they thought I what?" His voice ended in an aggreived squawk. "Fucking hell I've beaten guys up before, pretty badly, but never done that. Why the hell would I? My reputation would get shot and I'm pretty sure a group of the guys would gang up and take me down. You don't piss in your own pool like that."

  
Jim frowned but was satisfied with the righteous indignation in Sebastian’s voice, the boy genuinely believed he’d never forced himself on anyone. He accepted his answer, even if the reasoning seemed a little weak to him. “I’ll keep that in mind if I ever decide to be a rapist,” Jim muttered sarcastically. He coughed wetly, still trying to get some of the residual water out of his lungs.

  
"You don't sound good." Sebastian's voice softened a little and he rubbed his fingers against Jim's, hesitating as he heard the main door open.

The sergeant entered, looking at Jim and giving a grin, nodding at the door to Sebastian's little cell room. "That's very sweet of you, coming down to see him. I've just been to see Mags - he wants a word with you. After he's finished talking to your dad."

"Has he decided about me?" Sebastian called from inside.

The sergeant rolled his eyes, giving the door a kick and ruffling Jim's shaven head, "Well he hasn't asked for you to get thrown out, but yes, you will have to see him. Just behave, alright?"

  
Jim dropped his hand away and stood as quickly as he could when the sergeant came in. He nodded when he was told to go see Mags, he wasn’t looking forward to that conversation at all. The sergeant touched his head and Jim couldn’t help flinching away from his hand, not after what had just happened to him and what he knew about the man. “Behave,” Jim reiterated to Sebastian before he gave a little pat to the door and left for Mags’ office.

  
The sergeant kicked the door again when Jim left, "Behave? You'll listen to him but not me?"

Sebastian smirked and kicked the door from the other side, "Calm down, fucks sake. Yeah, I've got the hots for him. I don't care who's son he is."

 

* * *

 

  
Moriarty was angry and nursing a bruise on his face but he was still in control enough to knock on Magnussen’s office door before coming in, not willing to risk that level of rudeness. “Sir, I’m assuming you’ve been made aware of the situation? I demand that you expel the Moran boy. He assaulted me during class today, he’s been fucking my son – he said it, there are witnesses to all of this. He spoke to me with unacceptable rudeness _again._ That’s enough for him to be expelled three times over.”

  
Magnussen watched him come in, staring at him politely as he spoke and then standing up from behind his desk, coming over and putting a hand on Moriarty's shoulder as he walked passed him before bending a little to murmur in his ear, "I have indeed been made aware of the situation. You lost control of your class and were assaulted by a student. I've never heard of you having this problem before. Mostly the students are too scared of you to react. Are you losing your touch?"

  
Moriarty frowned briefly and then grinned back at the man, trying to hide how angry he was. “I had perfect control of my class. They were pissing themselves. Besides, what better way to put the fear of god in them than expelling a influential student? If you keep him on it will send entirely the wrong message. Buggery is enough of an offense to get expelled. The boy has a vendetta against me, fucking my son just to taunt me and then assaulting me in my own class.”

  
Magnsusen turned to look at him, dragging a finger down the bruise on his face, "If I expel him it will show the class you cannot cope with him." He murmured gently, "Sebastian Moran is here for one reason and one reason only, so that I can have control over his father. Sending him back home will lose me a valuable piece in a very important plan." He moved his finger away and then looked down at Moriarty, frowning, "If you cannot control him in your own classroom I will have to find a way to replace you with someone who can. I know you overheard me asking your son to get close to him, I've no doubt your boy will be buggered, repeatedly and often. If any of the cadets in your care misbehave the way Sebastian did again then I will see to it that you are as well."

  
“I would have a much easier time controlling him if you ever actually let me punish him. Instead you pull him out of solitary and give him special favors, you let him shoot at your _car_  last week and all he got was a slap on the wrist for it.” Moriarty flushed and snarled at the threat, going incoherent with rage for a moment. “That won’t be a problem you sick fuck. Don’t bother sending anyone who you care about to do your dirty work because anyone you sent to touch me is going to lose at least one vital part of their anatomy.”

  
"Then punish him." Magnussen replied mildly, patting Moriarty's shoulder and heading back to his desk. "Do what you need to. Whatever you need to. I need him here and I need him alive. That is all." He looked down at his paperwork for a minute and then pointedly back up at Moriarty. "I said that is all. You are dismissed. Your son is outside, would you be able to send him in without landing him back with Doctor Watson. And-" He spoke up again just as Moriarty reached for the door. "Please don't fuck up again. You have been an excellent teacher and a very useful member of this establishment. I would hate to have to lose you."

  
Moriarty grinned finally, falling back on the cheerful façade. “Of course, I understand sir.” He opened the door and gave his son a smile before reaching out and cupping the back of his neck where just an hour ago he’d been holding him down by that same spot. “Alright Jimmy? You’re a tough little bastard. Knew you could do it of course, you had plenty of experience. One of the other kids might have panicked, you know how it is.” He released his neck and left him with a light slap to the side of his face.

Jim winced as his father tapped the side of his face and scowled after him, not buying the bullshit for a second. He stepped inside Magnussen’s office and shut the door behind him. “You wanted to see me, sir?” Jim wasn’t sure when he’d started calling Magnussen _sir._

  
Magnussen looked at him and then gave a smile, looking down at Jim, his fingers gently flexing and moving, "Yes. I wanted to thank you, for how well you've done so far. Moran already is clearly very attached to you - well done for managing to get him so close and for finding away to test it." His fingers tapped against the desk and he looked up slightly reprovingly. "Of course that was a bit of a dangerous test for you to implement. And I know you implemented it - it would be incredibly... disappointing... if you had that little control over what happened to you. Sebastian will have to be taken to task for behaving in such away. I will naturally allow you to comfort him afterwards." He gave a small smile at the table and then looked at Jim again, the smile fading. "When he goes home for Christmas you need to be going with him, understand?"

  
Jim knew that Magnussen was aware he’d not in any way planned or _implemented_  what his father had done to him in class this afternoon but he wasn’t suicidal enough to voice it out loud. “I’m glad you are pleased, sir.” Jim muttered vaguely, feeling vindicated that he’d made the right choice in starting up a physical relationship with him. “Not dangerous, not really. He wouldn’t have hurt me badly in the middle of his class, and I’m – uh, used to it.” He sighed lightly and shook his head, “I understand sir, obviously I would have liked him to think through matters before acting but I’m not a miracle worker.” Jim swallowed when Magnussen stared him down, “I understand sir. From what I’ve heard he’s never invited a guest home?”

  
"Ah, if you are used to it then that's fine, it's good to know you can cope." Magnussen watched Jim's face, seeing the slight fear behind it. The boy was still a beginner after all. Coming over he gently pressed a finger against one of the love bites, stroking against it and murmuring, "Become a miracle worker. For me. A certain amount of convincing may be required." His finger pressed harder against the bruise, "I have absolutely no doubt you will manage it. If I had any doubts, I would have let your father kill you. Now go back to Watson, stay away from the detention centre and from Sebastian until your father is happy with how he's been punished."

  
Jim frowned as Mags pressed against the hickey on his neck, aggravating the bruise and reminding him of Sebastian’s mouth on his neck and the way it felt. When the other man pressed harder Jim leaned forward, away from the hand, and covered his mouth while he coughed, water still rattling around in his lungs. “Yes of course sir.” Jim stood, feeling faintly regretful for how John was going to lecture him for sneaking out of the hospital wing. It was perhaps rather callused but Jim wasn’t especially worried about Sebastian. Anything his father came up with wouldn’t do any permanent damage, in all likelihood it would carry some nebulous poetic justice, and Seb would still be able to attend morning classes. Jim had been taking punishments like that since he was half Sebastian’s age, the other boy would be okay, although Jim doubted very much that it would be pleasant. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: water torture simulation, discussions of sexual assault, threat of sexual assault. Mentions of past child abuse.


	7. I Can do Whatever I Want with You

The sergeant stayed by the cell for a little while, telling Seb off in an exasperated tone of voice and rolling his eyes as the snark from inside eventually faded into a highly sarcastic series of "Yes Sir - oh of _course_ Sir -" Shaking his head he knocked his fist against the door, "You better sound a lot more meaningful when you have to say that to Mags..." He jumped and stood properly to attention as Moriarty walked in, Sebastian falling silent as he heard the footsteps and as the Sergeant loudly exclaimed "Captain Moriarty! Would, uh, would you like the keys? I assume Magnussen wants to see the silly little sod?"

  
Moriarty smiled and gestured for the sergeant to unlock the room, “I’m afraid he’s not interested in seeing Cadet Moran, no. He’s been left for me to deal with, Magnussen is far too busy. Come along then Moran, we’re going back to my classroom. Have a good evening, Simon.” Moriarty nodded to the sergeant before he turned on his heel and walked away, expecting Sebastian to keep up.

  
The sergeant opened the door and gave Sebastian a warning glance as he let him out. Sebastian gave a little nod and then followed Moriarty stiffly. By the sounds of it he wasn't getting expelled, but he was pretty sure that Moriarty wasn't going to be in the best of moods. Still, after seeing all the punishment he'd put his son through it was almost a relief just to have to face it himself rather than watching Jim suffer. And he brightened a little at the thought he might get to join Jim in the hospital wing afterwards. Jim and the condoms. He followed Moriarty quickly, standing to attention once they reached the room, staring straight ahead.

  
James gave a little smile and turned on the water in the sink before plugging up the drain so that water began to fill in the basin. “You missed my lecture on water torture while you were in the toilet Moran. It was a very important lecture, something I imagine you’ll need to know in the future.” Moriarty dug through the chest and pulled out a set of metal handcuffs before twirling them around on his finger. “What you interrupted earlier was a simulation. How would you like to experience the real thing?”

  
Sebastian felt his heart rate speed up, not even trying to hide the fear that briefly passed over his face. He closed his eyes for a second and then opened then, looking Moriarty straight in the eyes, "You know, before I met your son I fucking respected you." He said quietly, "You were the dogs bollocks - wanted to impress you more than my own dad sometimes." He stepped forward, pushing his arms up behind his back ready for the handcuffs and turning around in front of him, "Any tips to give me... Sir? Before we start?" 

Moriarty smirked and shook his head regretfully, “I can’t help you if you don’t listen to my lectures Moran. Turn around.” When Sebastian complied Moriarty tightened the cuffs around his wrists tightly. “I _am_  sorry that you feel let down. It’s a good lesson to learn though, everyone in your life will disappoint you. _Especially_  people like my son.” He felt safer to antagonize the boy now that he had submitted and his hands were tied. “I used to have hopes for him too, that he’d impress me one day. But instead I got this scrawny little boy who could barely look me in the eye one minute and was wild and uncontrollable the next. It’s clear to me now that he’s a whore, just like his mother was. It’s a shame, he got my brains, he really could have made something of himself but instead he’ll suck cock for Mags until the man doesn’t want him anymore.” Moriarty sighed regretfully before pushing Sebastian over to the sink and he turned the cold water off. “Right. I’ll ask you questions, you’ll try to only answer with your name and student ID. Good luck.” He punched Sebastian hard, aiming for his diaphragm and knocking the wind out of him, leaving him gasping for air as his lungs spasmed before shoving his head under the water.

  
"It wasn't your son that disappointed me, it was you..." Sebastian managed a tight smile as he was pushed over the bowl, "When I saw how fucking amazing he was... and the way you treated him. He's the toughest little shit I know and you fucked him over and over and he just kept taking it. He's a survivor - unh..." the punch caught him off balance, and the sudden immersion into water had him spasming and twitching, his body struggling with no air left in lungs that were desperately trying to inflate. Eyes closed his head jerked about, for moment he felt a rushing in his ears a blind panic as his body was convinced it was about to die, right here, right now.

  
Moriarty held his head under the water for about thirty seconds before pulling him up for air. “Good. You didn’t pass out, that’s good.” He brushed his hand over the stubble on Sebastian’s head a few times while he let him catch his breath and rally a little. “You know, I thought for sure that Magnussen would expel you. Find some other way to get at your father, but no he surprised me. He’s given me permission to kill you here.” He felt Sebastian tense up and Moriarty continued with the story, “It turns out he thinks he can get more leverage over your father with you out of the way. He’s just going to attack him directly now. I can do whatever I want with you.” Keeping a sneer off his face Moriarty slowly ran his hand down Sebastian’s shivering back. “You know normally the prisoner would be kept nude? I expect you would like that though. After you pass out I’m going to bring you around and then I’m going to rape you. If you come then I’m going to kill you.” Magnussen dunked Sebastian’s head underwater again, holding him down for longer this time now that he’d given him a few moments to compose himself and breathe.

  
Sebastian felt his lungs expand desperately as soon as he was out of the water, shivering and shaking at the words as he gasped for breath. While his body panicked his mind felt a frission of excitment because this was something completely new. He'd never been so close to actual death before, with someone who had every right to kill him and a small part of him almost appreciated being given the chance to see how he reacted to such a situation, to learn how to prepare his body. He couldn't stop the fear though, the vulnerability he'd been catapulted into, the panic starting to spiral around his brain. And then he was underwater again and his body was screaming at him for air.

  
Moriarty hit him again, this time in the kidney and held him under for another fifteen seconds after that before pulling him up again. “What, you don’t have anything to say to me? No threats or witty comebacks? I should have started this on you years ago, lord knows it did wonders for Jimmy. He was always so well behaved after one of these little sessions.” He smiled and tilted his head, giving Sebastian’s face a little slap and squinting at him to test his reflexes, “Now, I want you to say that he’s a whore. Say it and I can give you a break. If you don’t then I’m going to put you back in the water.” This was Moriarty’s dig back at Magnussen, these memories would be bright in Sebastian’s mind due to the extreme emotions associated with them, getting him to verbalize negative thoughts about his son would root them in his mind and make Jim’s job more difficult and therefor Magnussen’s plan less likely to succeed.

  
Sebastian gave a snarl, hissing through his teeth and then spitting out "Cadet Moran 24069." His adrenaline was high and the memory of Jim's coughing at the front of his mind. If Jim could survive this, he could. but it was more than that, more than Jim surviving it. It was him and a bastard in a room and the entire weight of Moran and the English establishment at his back. He felt a grin starting to spread and tried desperately to hide it, breathing quickly through his mouth to try and get as much oxygen trapped in his muscles as he could.

  
Moriarty shook his head regretfully and held Sebastian’s head under water and slowly started choking him while he was under, although he was careful not to leave any bruises that Watson would have his hide over. He was good at not leaving bruises. It was just to scare the boy further. After almost a full minute Moriarty pulled him out again and smacked the side of his head to make it more difficult for the boy to focus. “Say he’s a whore. You aren’t even giving me information I don’t already know. All you have to do is say this one thing and we can move on to the fucking. I hope you’re as excited as I am. Are you going to think of him while I rape you?”

 

Sebastian staggered sideways as he was pulled up, desperately trying to throw himself out of Moriarty's clutches, just to get a bit more breath. His throat hurt, and he knew soon his lungs would start trying to take in air even while underwater, meaning that he'd still be fighting drowning even when pulled out the bucket. "C-cunt." He managed to gasp and then stubbornly, "Cadet Moran, 24069."

  
“Mmm, close but that’s not what I told you to call him.” Moriarty punched him in the ribs this time, careful not to break anything. “I’ll give you one more chance. If you won’t say it after this then I’m going to fuck him instead, and I’ll do it in front of your while you watch like a helpless little bitch. If you tell me what I want to hear then I’ll just finish with you.” James knew all of the tricks, all of the ways to play two prisoners against each other. It was just a matter of finding the right button to hit. He punched Sebastian in the balls and enjoyed the noise that got out of him before shoving him under the water again.

  
Sebastian whined at the punch in his ribs, then doubled over as the fist smacked into his balls, his gasp of pain coinciding with being pushed under. It was almost with a sense of relief that he inhaled his first deep lungful of water, thrashing and choking under Moriarty's hand before his eyes rolled up and the world sparkled and broke up in front of his eyes.

  
Moriarty felt Moran go limp and quickly pulled him out of the water and laid him on his back snd tilted his head to the side so that the water he inhaled could drain to the side. “Fucking pussy…” James muttered while he waited for the water to drain out while he checked the boy’s pulse. When the water drained Moriarty put his head back in position and pinched his nose before breathing deeply into the boy’s lungs to sort out whatever water was left. On the third breath something sparked and Sebastian rolled onto his side and coughed up the rest of the water. “That’s it, you stupid fuck you aren’t supposed to inhale it.” James patted his back cheerfully, feeling much better now that he had extracted his pound of flesh. “Now you aren’t going to hit me again, are you?”

  
Sebastian coughed and spluttered, gasping for breath as he tried to recover and giving a groan. He looked up at Moriarty, feeling more vulnerable and scared than he had in a very long time, shivering in his wet clothes. His eyes narrowed at the question, and as he remembered Moriarty threatening to fuck his own son to try and get him to break. He glared back at him, arms wrapping protectively around his body and eyes glittering as he said back deliberately "Cadet Moran. 24069."

  
James snorted and smacked the back of Sebastian’s head. “Well you held up fairly well for your first time. As expected of one of our top students. I understand you’re not going to believe me, so here.” He got up and fished the handcuff key out of his top drawer before kneeling down and unlocking the handcuffs, helping rub some circulation back into his limbs. “Good boy,” he praised quietly and ran a hand over his hair. “Come on, you’re spending the night in the hospital wing. Get up and move.”

  
Sebastian found himself shaking a little as James praised him, part of him unable to believe it was all over, that this wasn't some other strange trick. He rubbed his wrists and rolled his shoulders as he was let free, giving a small smile as Moriarty stroked his hair and then hesitating before saying, his voice lowered, "I didn't, Sir. Didn't fornicate with your son. You think I want to betray my own father like that? I overheard it too, remember." He pulled himself upright and stumbled against a wall, coughing a bit and rubbing his throat before heading for the door, "Do - uh - what do you want me to tell Watson?" He asked, rubbing at his balls and whimpering a little.

  
He shook his head ruefully, “Moran you aren’t a very good liar. You should stick to denying everything. Come along now, we can tell Watson together – you seem a little addled still.” Moran gripped his shoulder possessively before leading him to the hospital wing and giving a little wave to Jim who was just getting to his feet when he saw Sebastian. “Doctor Watson? I’ve got another patient for you, I’m afraid. Don’t bother getting angry with me, it was Mags’ alternative to expelling him. And he was very grateful for his second chance, weren’t you boy?”

  
Sebastian couldn't help a shiver as Moriarty grabbed his shoulder but let himself be led down to the medical unit, not sure whether to be pleased or irritated that Moriarty didn't seem to have believed him. He let Moriarty do the talking, merely nodding dully when the conversation seemed to require his response and then taking a breath before managing, "Yes Captain Moriarty, it was very instructional." He certainly wasn't about to promise not to misbehave again. Watson gave Moriarty an irritated glare, then nodded at Sebastian. "Alright, sit down, take your shirt off. Any chance you can let me know what you did to him?" He was pleased at least that other than looking pretty grey and shaken Sebastian didn't look too badly injured, certainly not physically.

  
“Just the demonstration he interrupted in class today. I hit him a couple of times but I didn’t break anything. It was all very controlled. Silly sod got a lungful of water and passed out on me half way through but I fished him out and administered mouth to mouth. He shouldn’t need any treatment, just observation overnight since he did get water in his lungs.” James stepped over to his son and gave him a little smack over the ear. “I was told to sign over custody of my son to you, Watson. I hope he’s not giving you too much trouble already. He seems rather… attached to you.” He gave a little smirk and raised his eyebrows skeptically. “Is he your reward for good behavior. An apology for the last one, that Holmes boy? What a mess that was. You seemed very close with that boy too.”

  
"Breathe in." Watson instructed Sebastian, listening to his lungs and frowning at Moriarty. "You did sign over custody to me, and as such I'd like to ask you to stop hitting him. Deep breath Moran."

Sebastian gave a grin and breathed in deep, "Didn't make me break though." He challenged, mainly to show off to Jim, "Didn't get anything but my name and number."

John flushed as Holmes was mentioned but managed to stop his voice from shaking, "The boy went on to occupy a particularly good place in the English Government, I wouldn't say that was a _mess_  for one of our alumni's to told such a high position." He said formally, moving the stethescope over Sebastian's back, "Breath in again Moran. I was his Doctor, and he ended up seeing me a lot. He had his own parents to care for him. Jim is my foster-child as he has no _fit_  parents left alive."

  
“Believe me, his mum wasn’t a fit parent either. Are you still afraid of closets, Jimmy?” Moriarty somehow managed to sneer and smirk at the same time. Jim flinched at the comment and glared hard but didn’t say anything. Any reaction would just be seen as insubordination and Jim wasn’t interested in taking any more punishment today. Moriarty noticed John’s flush and tilted his head like a hunting dog that caught a scent. “He saw a lot of you… did you see a lot of him as well?” Moriarty came up behind John and brushed his fingertips along the exposed skin at his neck. “Do you miss him John? He had the prettiest curls before I shaved them off.”

  
Sebastian watched them steadily, he still felt shaky and really, really wasn't sure how much more he could get away with. On the other hand, biting his tongue now would seem like Moriarty had won. John twitched and jerked but managed to recover with a small smile, "I know what the rumours were, Moriarty, but believe me, unlike you I manage to keep a professional relationship with all my students."

"Unlike you..." Sebastian drawled, watching Moriarty as he moved, "You promised to fuck me after I passed out. I was all kinds of disappointed when I came around and you just stopped at a kiss." He frowned and then shifted on the table, "Unless... unless you did fuck me and you've just got such a small cock I didn't feel anything..."

  
Moriarty rolled his eyes and stepped away from both of them, heading towards the door. “An interrogator will say all sorts of things to get you to talk, Moran. I suggest you start learning the difference between a promise and a _threat._  I wouldn’t lower myself to your level, _cocksucker.”_ He’d heard the sergeants bragging of course, “Or next time if you’re that desperate I could always bring your Simon along. I’m sure he’d be more than happy to oblige.” He gave a final smirk and nod to John before he turned and walked away. Jim settled in a chair tiredly and shook his head, just feeling relieved that he was gone and that Sebastian wasn’t really hurt.

  
Sebastian kept his grin up, pushing two fingers up in Moriarty's direction as soon as he'd left and then collapsing back down on the table, rubbing his eyes, "Fucker. I didn't break though..."

"I'm sure you didn't." John said with an eyeroll. "And it's good to know that at least you aren't expelled. Now... deep breath."

Sebastian managed a small smile at Jim, which faded a little as he saw how tired and frail the boy looked, "Aww c'mon. It turned out alright! I got to sock him in the face, and I'm still alive and here." He turned to John with a smirk, "What exactly _were_  the rumours about you and Mycroft Holmes...?"

  
Jim dredged up a grin and nodded, “Don’t worry, I passed out my first time too and I managed to get sick all over myself. I’m pretty sure I had confessed to just about every bad thing I’d ever done by that point too, so you managed better than I did.” He tried to joke even though it hadn’t been a funny experience and he’d only been a child at the time, maybe eight years old. “I’m glad you’re still here…” Jim muttered reluctantly and pulled his knees up to his chest. “Sebastian, are you seriously accusing him of pedophilia because I can tell you right now my dad was just being an ass. John’s not like that.” Jim didn’t think he was anyway. He hoped not.

  
Sebastian felt a sudden rush of hate for Moriarty at the thought of a poor young Jim being put through that, as well as a rush of shame for the even momentary desire he'd felt to impress the man, his weakness in telling him the truth, that he hadn't slept with Jim. Tired, he rubbed his eyes and then hopped off the table, "Well if I'm not about to expire I should head back for chores."

John threw his hands up as Jim replied, "For goodness sake - I didn't have sex with either of the Holmes's alright!" Sebastian grinned but didn't argue, pulling on his damp shirt. "Mycroft Holmes was about as far away from cadet material as it's possible to be. He spent less than a year here, most of it in my medical room. Moriarty's just trying to... get to Jim, isn't he. Making him think I'm not to be trusted. I suspect he's more than used to being looked after by... well..." He sighed and then poked Sebastian hard, "Don't you go anywhere. You can clean out the shower next door if you're desperate to do chores but I need to keep you for observation overnight."

  
Jim pulled off Sebastian’s shirt again irritably, “You know you have serious risk for pneumonia after getting water in your lungs like that? You can’t put damp clothes on again, moron. Here.” By now Jim was disturbingly aware of how the hospital was run and he grabbed a sweatshirt in Sebastian’s size and pushed him back towards the bed. “Lay down or you won’t get your reward later.” Jim wasn’t sure that he would be able to perform to standards after today but he’d had a few hours to rest and he thought he could manage. Jim checked over his shoulder for John and gave the man a conflicted smile, acknowledging what he’d said about not being out to molest him.

  
"What reward? Hey?" Sebastian grinned as Jim manhandled him and, as Jim looked away, grabbed him and tugged him down on top of him, giving a smirk and squeezing him, "Mmmm... this kind of reward?" John glanced at them and rolled his eyes but he seemed caught up in thought, looking upset at the memories. Moriarty had brought back a few, thinking about Mycroft brought back even more and he took a few breaths before managing to snap out. "Sebastian stop being an idiot. Don't... don't break anything. I'm just going to take a walk."

  
Jim flushed defensively as Sebastian embarrassed him in front of John, Jim was – very much not into voyeurism. Years of sharing a single room apartment with his mother when she worked from home was enough to cure him of that. When John left Jim looked down at Sebastian with a frown, “I can’t tell if he was talking about breaking me or the equipment.” When he was settled more comfortably on top of the other boy Jim rubbed his thigh against Sebastian’s crotch invitingly, “I do have condoms now. We might not have a lot of chances to be alone together. If you aren’t well enough, I understand.” Jim wasn’t feeling especially randy himself but he needed to make more headway if he was going to secure his position in time for Christmas which was rapidly approaching.

  
"W-what?" Sebastian would've been more than happy for another mutual wank but he wasn't sure that he was quite ready to dive into losing his virginity here on John Watson's medical bed with his lungs half full of water, and memories of what he'd almost believed he'd be getting from Jim's father so close in his mind. His cock twitched but he squeezed Jim's thigh ruefully. "Nah... unhygenic. John looked sad enough, give the poor bloke a break." He sighed, lying back and thinking over the day, it had certainly given him a lot to think about. "Well. Mags must be pretty pleased with me, I should've got kicked out for that little stunt."

  
Jim tried to keep the relief he felt off his face, “Okay, yeah you were right. Stupid idea.” Jim settled again with his face pressed into Sebastian’s neck where the skin was still slightly damp but warm. He snorted and shook his head, “Maybe you have a guardian angel. Just promise me you won’t pull anymore shit like that okay? What do you think it would be like for me here if you got kicked out, hmm?”

  
"'S not a stupid idea at all." Seb stroked his back gently, pleased Jim was staying close, "Just not the best idea for now. Fuck..." He felt very close to telling Jim everything - that he'd overheard him with Mags, that he wanted to protect his father, that he'd let Jim's father know they hadn't had sex... but something still kept him back. He couldn't lose the only information he had, not yet. Instead he just stroked Jim gently, rubbing his back, "He's a bastard, seriously, I never realised how much. Absolute fucking bastard, to think he put you through that. I mean I was fucking asking for it, but you woul've been just a kid."

  
Jim felt a little less embarrassed over the rejection now that he’d been reassured and Jim closed his eyes, not able to keep back his exhaustion. “I turned out okay. Pretty sure I was asking for it at the time, I was a wild kid. Never had any structure or rules to follow and then suddenly this tall burly man shows up and I’m afraid neither of us knew what to do with each other. I didn’t hit him but I stole from him, swore at him, spit in his face, scratched and bit. I wouldn’t clean myself or eat well and I don’t think I’d ever made my bed before. Nothing else really worked but the first time he dunked me I think I about pissed myself. I behaved pretty well after that, at least for a while anyway.” Jim grinned and sighed, letting the memories go.

  
"Good..." Sebastian murmured sleepily back as he heard that Jim had at least tried to give it back - as much as a small scrawny kid could give anything back. He half turned, wrapping his arms around Jim and kissing his litle stubbly head. "Stay here..." it came out half as a whine, he was still trembling a little from the ordeal but part of him was already assessing - working out which parts he found the hardest, where he needed to improve, how he could've done better. He reflected with slight shock that the only time he'd really let his guard down was at the end; with Moriarty stroking his hair and growling how well he'd done.

  
“Pretty sure John’s going to blush when he comes back…” but Jim just grinned at the thought and started stroking Sebastian’s head, trying to sooth him to sleep. “You’re not going to sleep well tonight. Try not to deck me when you startle awake, yeah?” His words trailed off into a sleepy mumble and he tightened his arms around Sebastian’s waist. “M not going anywhere idiot.”

  
"Would never deck you, fucking gorgeous little thing." Sebastian yawned and it didn't take him long to drift off. As Jim said, it was a bad night, waking the first time when John stumbled back drunk and threw a blanket at them, the second when Jim stirred in his sleep. He had dreams of drowning, but didn't startle away, just clutched Jim closer and stroked him until he fell back into sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Psychological torture, threats of sexual assault, past child abuse mentioned.


	8. I Always Wanted a Puppy

Jim woke up half falling off the medical cot but Sebastian was holding on to him so tightly that his ribs ached and Jim supposed he probably wasn’t going anywhere. John was sitting there reading a book and drinking a morning cup of tea. “Hey,” Jim croaked, frowning as the events of last night came back to him. “Sorry – about my da. He’s a pillock. He’s good at what he does but he was just fucking with you, trying to get your back up.” Jim stayed curled up against Sebastian because he wasn’t really ready to wake up yet.

  
Sebastian grunted a little, shifting to make a bit more room for Jim but clinging possessively onto him, not wanting to let go until he'd woken up. He was usually a morning person but his throat was aching and he'd slept incredibly badly and Jim was warm. John looked up and gave a wan smile, "No... goodness me you of all people don't need to apologise. It was a while ago now. But please be assured I never engaged in anything unprofessional with Mycroft Holmes. He was my student. I shouted at him, in the end, rather a lot, but that was after he'd left." He managed a small smile. "Both you and Sebastian can skip physical this morning if you want." Shaking his head as Sebastian muttered a stubborn sleepy little, "No..." from under the blanket.

  
Jim scowled down at Sebastian and pinched a bit of the skin on his neck and twisted, “You are _not_  doing physical this morning. If you go then I have to go and I’d much rather stay here and sleep in till lunch.” Jim’s hand skimmed down to Sebastian’s cock under the blankets. “Besides, there’s no point tiring yourself out this early in the day. You won’t have the motivation to do – anything else.” Jim smirked a little bit and stopped pinching Sebastian and moved his other hand to a more appropriate spot on his stomach. “Go back to sleep,” Jim whispered before looking up to watch John tiredly. “I believe you.” That wasn’t easy for Jim to say, and his tone showed a little bit of his reluctance. If he said that he trusted John and then it came back to bite him… it just seemed easier to be suspicious and wary, but Jim had enemies everywhere at this school and it was exhausting to try and keep everyone at a distance.

  
"Oww ... unh..." Sebastian jerked his hips a little sleepily as Jim touched his cock and then curled up a little, drifting off back to sleep. John shook his head with a small fond smile, "Never thought I'd see anyone telling Sebastian Moran what to do - certainly never thought I'd see him listen." He could hear the relucatence in Jim's tone but also realised what a big thing it was for the boy to say, "Thank you. Don't worry, I've got the next few years to show you that you are in no danger from me. As soon as I feel less... hungover... I'll get you some breakfast."

  
Jim smirked at John’s comment and patted the top of Sebastian’s head. “I always wanted a puppy.” He sighed and settled back down, pressing a leg between Sebastian’s thighs and curling against the other boy’s chest. “Kay. Just so long as you realize if you fuck with me I’m pretty sure my new guard dog will tear your arm off.” It was novel being able to rely on someone else, even only tentatively, even if it only lasted until Sebastian realized Jim had fucked him over. Jim smirked and tisked reprovingly when he heard the man was hungover. “Doctor Watson… has a vice after all. Don’t worry about breakfast I’m going back to sleep, this one’s not going anywhere and I think he’s confused himself for my conjoined twin.” The last words were a bit of a mumble and Jim sighed before drifting off again.

  
Sebastian's thighs pressed into his leg happily, his arms adjusting to wrap around Jim and keep him snuggly close, making a happy little noise as the hand patted at his head. It felt strangely comforting, being allowed to snuggly and hug with no pressure to be something angry and snarling, or to give or recieve sex. Watson sighed, picking up the blanket and smoothing it out over the two of them, "Oh I've got plenty of vices. It's just none of them involve harming other people. Just myself." He patted Jim gently on the head and then headed into his office, already feeling stupidly guilty for getting drunk the night before.

  
Jim caught John’s final little comment just as he was drifting off, hoping that he’d be able to remember it when he woke up. He didn’t stir again until Sebastian started moving next to him but it was enough that Jim startled awake. Besides that one time in the woods Jim hadn’t slept next to someone since he was a very small child, before he’d ever met his father. He wasn’t used to it now and someone stirring next to him was enough to wake him up quickly. Jim glanced at the clock, it was almost time for lunch, they had slept for a long time but that was to be expected after what their bodies had gone through. “You okay?” Jim muttered, his voice thick with sleep and damage from inhaling water yesterday.

  
Sebastian woke up as John stirred next to him, pushing himself into a sitting position and rubbing his eyes, giving Jim a little cuddle and then kissing his head, "Fuck I've overslept. Urgh, throat feels rough, doesn't it?" He grinned and pushed himself down from the table, beginning to stretch and wincing at the ache where he'd been hit, "Let's see what fun we've got coming next week, eh? You know I was never in this much trouble before you joined. Trouble, yeah, but not this much."

  
“Little bit,” Jim muttered and coughed into his elbow. “Fuck I’d kill for a drink…” Sebastian seemed _excited_  about the state his body was in and Jim watched him warily, trying to work out if he was actually human or not. “You’re a fucking weirdo, you know that?” Jim gave him a smack to the ear as he sat up on the bed. “I was always in this much trouble, although usually that just got me suspended. Before now getting in trouble at school never meant going to the hospital wing.”

  
"Ow! Fucking brat." Sebastian grumbled, heading to the faucet and grabbing a paper cup, filling it up and bringing it over almost automatically - so used to obeying orders at this point it never really occurred to him that Jim wouldn't expect him to jump on command. "I'm not wierd, just I've never been tested like that before. And... I pretty much passed." He frowned, "Sort of passed. Didn't do too badly anyway."

  
Jim took the water with surprise but drank it down gratefully all the same. “It’s not a test you moron. He tries to legitimize his shit by coming up with some excuse for why it makes you better, or why you need it. It’s bullshit. It’s not a test, it’s not some – measure of your capabilities, it’s just him getting off on hurting other people.” He tilted his head and watched Sebastian coolly, “Or was it a test, do you think, when he did it to me in class? Or do you think that maybe he just wanted to punish me and exert power?”

  
Sebastian shrugged, still stretching, and starting the first cycle of his workout routine that he'd missed with the physical. "You really think I'm going to get through my entire life without needing to know how to survive that kind of shit? The better I get at taking it, the more control I get over my body, the better a soldier I'll be, the better a bodyguard I'll be." He grinned at Jim. "Of course he gets off on it, fucking bastard. And he wants to punish and exert power. But there will be people like him everywhere, and if I know how to deal with them without fucking spewing... besides. it bloody well impressed _him."_ He still remembered the hand stroking his head, Moriarty telling him how well he'd done, and it made him scowl and blush a bit to think that he'd been so vulnerable at that moment. If Moriarty had kissed him, as the sergeant had done, he probably would have melted into the mans arms there and then. Thankfully he was too much of a sadistic homophobe to have thought of it.

  
Jim’s jaw dropped a little as he noticed Sebastian blush and he managed to put two and two together. He clenched his jaw shut and looked away as he started to fold up the blanket John left him. “Right. And I’m guessing he wasn’t the only one that got off on it then.” Jim sneered a little and started getting angry, “He wasn’t impressed with you. He’s incapable of giving a shit, or feeling anything. You’re never going to be happy if you chase your tail trying to get his approval.”

  
Chasing approval was pretty much how Sebastian had lived his life and he scowled at the floor, annoyed at Jim's anger. "You really think I did that? Got hard with him drowning me? Fuck off. I might be a bit weird but I'm not that weird. And he fucking well _was_  impressed. I'm not chasing his approval just, you know, it was damn good to hear I hadn't done too badly." He started pulling on his uniform, looking at the time, "Fuck - straight to lunch then. Then lessons. Look calm down I'm not trying to fuck your dad, alright? I hate the fucker."

  
Jim wasn’t sure exactly what his fucking problem was. It made him angry that Sebastian was so hung up over getting that bastard’s approval, but it made him more angry to think that his father had given it. If he was honest with himself he was aware that his father had hoped for a son more like Sebastian, someone that was interested in the same things he was, who was capable of meeting his unreasonable expectations. “He was _not._ Impressed. You think he doesn’t understand how your head works and he doesn’t play to every insecurity you have? Don’t flatter yourself.”

  
Sebastian just shrugged, looking sideways at Jim. He knew the boy was probably telling the truth, but he also knew Jim would have an ulterior motive for lying. Magnussen wanted Jim to control Sebastian, so it was in Jim's interest to be the sole source of attention for him. "C'mon." He said after a pause, "We should get to classes." He was already thinking of the germ of an idea - whether he could get Moriarty to give him another training session, whether he could try to get all the way through this time, without letting anything slip, rather than letting his guard down after it was over. He also dimly remembered they had an exercise this weekend, and didn't want to fall out with Jim before that.

  
Jim watched Sebastian suspiciously, not buying that he was just willing to drop the subject. It left him feeling irritated and keyed up for the rest of the day. He was starting to pick up traction in his academic classes and it was not surprisingly a lot easier to focus when he wasn’t exhausted from morning exercises. The other students were giving him looks, probably because of the scene his father had made yesterday in class. Jim didn’t share many of the academic classes with Sebastian and the other students harassed him during those hours, throwing things at his head when the teacher had his back turned, making obscene gestures or kissing noises at him, one student even groped his cock in the hallway but it was crowded and Jim hadn’t been able to pick out for sure who had done it. He was tense and irritable when he finally sat down to dinner with Sebastian, just pushing his food around while he frowned at his plate.

  
Sebastian sat next to him, gave him a grin and then shrugged as it wasn't returned, figuring Jim was still annoyed at him from the morning. Once they'd finished eating the sergeant had them line up by the bunks, checking their uniforms and then barking out "Alright - this weekend you'll be out on an exercise. You're spending the whole weekend in the wild, groups of two, with targets to be set once you arrive. Rather than chores you'll spend the evening packing and preparing - the targets could be anything, so make sure you're well prepared." With that he left, leaving a sense of doom behind him as the boys groaned and tugged out bags. A few were excited, but outside exercises mostly meant being muddy, wet, cold and overexhausted for a weekend.

Sebastian gave Jim a wink, clearly one of the excited ones, "Well this should be easy - I mean we're allowed a tent and you're not concussed - simple yeah?"

  
Jim sighed and nodded, he was pleased that he wouldn’t have to spend any more time this weekend around the other cadets or sadistic staff, even if it meant that he’d probably be getting buggered half the weekend. Jim put on a suggestive grin and muttered quietly, “I’ll make sure to pack protection. Keeping safe is very important out in the wild.” He sighed and shook his head as he sat on his own bed, content to let Sebastian pack their gear. “It’s still going to be fucking miserable and cold. It’s December. I suppose that just means we’ll have to think of some way to stay warm. Did your airforce ladies have any other suggestions?” Jim grinned and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

  
"We didn't even try their _first_  suggestion." Sebastian grumbled, but with a smile, pleased that jim seemed to have recovered. He smirked and nudged against Jim's shoulder as he tugged out both their bags and started packing, flipping off the few boys who made suggestive noises at Seb packing for both of them. "Piss off." And then quiet to Jim, "If I only need to pack one sleeping bag let me know now, it'll save room for firelighters and night vision goggles"

  
“We still need two sleeping bags,” Jim hissed back. “One to sleep on top of and one to cover us. You’re a big lad, no way can both of us squeeze in one, even if we’re cuddled up. Besides, the sleeping back goes on the _outside_  of your pack.” Jim indicated the clips and straps hanging underneath the packs. “Shouldn’t take up any extra room. In fact you might be able to fit some stuff in the rolls. Am I going to starve this weekend?” Jim watched the other boys warily, not exactly pleased to be receiving their attention. “They’re driving me up the fucking wall. I’ll be glad to not have to deal with that lot for a few days.”

  
"I know how to pack a fucking rucksack" Sebastian hissed back, scowling at him, "I have done this before. No you're not going to starve because a) I'm bringing food and b) if we're forced to hunt I can hunt for food. Or 'forage' in someone's holiday cottage, heh heh." He'd certainly done that before, and not been caught. "I won't let you starve, don't worry. Or get cold. And yeah, these bastards piss me off as well."

  
Jim pouted and rolled over on his stomach to face away from Sebastian in response to being yelled at. He wasn’t angry or anything, just had his fill of conflict for the day. “I trust you, it’s fine. Just make sure my pack isn’t too heavy, I’m smaller than you.” He glanced at a few of the boys who were still watching them from their bunks. “They’re afraid you’ll beat the piss out of them if they make you mad though.”

  
"They should be. I will do." Sebastian looked at the packs, hesitated, and then started moving a few possessions from Jim's to his, "If it's too heavy let me know when we stop, I can take a bit more. This is your first time out like this, so don't try killing yourself, just get through it. Fuck, it'll be fun." He grinned, now rather excited about the possibility of actually having sex, and hoping they weren't worked too hard to get around to it. "Wonder what targets we'll be given? My first orienteering one I got lost as all fuck, stumbled to a motorway and hitch-hiked back. The sergeant was mad as fuck you should've seen him." He patted Jim's head, glancing down at his body.

  
“I should be okay. First time is going to be rough but I’ve been adjusting alright.” Most of the other boys were still packing their bags and pissing around, Jim squirmed a little under Sebastian’s graze and grinned up at him. “I think I’m going to take a shower.” Jim raised his eyebrows invitingly. He stood and stripped down to his trousers and vest before grabbing his towel and heading away from the rest of the group.

  
Sebastian looked at him, quickly glanced at the rest of the boys and then moved to the shower in a noncholant manner, scooting through the door and wrapping his arms around Jim as soon as he saw him, "So we are sharing a sleeping bag, hmmm? You'll be all warm and hot and pressed against me." He cuddled the little wriggling body and kissed hotly at the side of his mouth, "Fuck I can't wait. Never been this excited for a hike. Please bring the condoms."

  
“It seems expedient if I don’t want frost bite.” Jim was grinning though and reached up to tug Sebastian’s hair. “More like cold and shivering but yes, that’s the general idea. You’re a nut.” Sebastian kissed at the side of his mouth and Jim started stripping off his clothes – it would look weird if they came into the showers and were fully dressed. He extricated himself from Sebastian’s grip and managed to get his trousers off too and when all of his things were tucked away in a cubby Jim turned the hot water on and stepped under the spray, “Come here, this will probably be your last chance to shower before we get back. Just keep an eye on the door.”

  
Sebastian tugged his shirt over his head then went over to the door and jammed a doorstop in the back of it to stop it being opened, dropping his shirt and then his slacks by it before heading over to Jim, wrapping arms around him uncaring about the spray dampening his underwear and wrapping his arms around to stroke Jim's arse, "Mmmm... Well I'll keep you warm, fucking brave little thing like you." He kissed the top of Jim's head, stroking his bottom gently, "You know... when we fuck... it doesn't just have to be your tight little arse taking it. I'd let you..." He murmured.

  
Jim watched Sebastian curiously, he’d seen the boy with his trousers half down before but he’d never seen him entirely naked before. The boy still had his pants on for some reason but Jim stuck his hand down the front of them anyway, figuring they should hurry if they were going to steal a few moments together. “You’d let me what? Suck your cock too? Gee, thanks.” Jim misunderstood what Sebastian was asking for and just assumed he’d been talking about Jim’s mouth when he talked about somewhere else he could take it. 

Sebastian gave a little laugh, canting his hips forward as Jim's hands slid down his pants and murmuring, "Go on... take them off you silly little sod. Slide them down over my arse. The arse I've just offered you a fuck of, only to be turned down." He pushed backwards until Jim's head was under the spray and fondly murmured "Little shite..." his hands still carressing and stroking Jim's wet body.

  
“Oh,” Jim was surprised and his hands stilled under Sebastian’s pants but he caught on a second later and set to stripping the soaked clothes off his body. “Not this weekend. But sure.” Jim wouldn’t fuck the boy with only spit, he’d need extra time to steal some olive oil from the kitchens or something. Jim gasped and Sebastian pushed him under the spray and he blinked water from his eyes as he wrapped a hand around Sebastian’s cock and started to chase the water droplets with his tongue as they slid down the boy’s chest. 

"No?" Sebastian felt a little disappointed but also slightly relieved. It had been a big offer, and he was definitely curious, but he was also happy just to keep fumbling with Jim and maybe even getting to sex. Either way it would be far more enjoyable than just his own hand and he pressed a finger down between the curves of Jim's arse gently rubbing and tapping at the little entrance, the way he knew felt so good when he did it to himself. Jim's tongue was sliding over his chest, and he closed his eyes, moaning gently into the spray, well aware he couldn't be too loud.

  
“I will though, if that’s what you want.” His tactic for getting Sebastian’s invitation over Christmas was giving the boy everything he wanted, and the only thing Jim had to offer the little rich boy who excelled in all his classes, was his body. It wasn’t a chore, Jim liked him and so far Sebastian had made him feel good – more than he’d made him feel bad anyway. It hadn’t been a difficult decision. Jim pressed his mouth against Sebastian’s skin and gasped when the boy touched him, he was starting to get hard and Jim worked his hand faster while his other hand trailed down and groped at the boy’s balls, fondling them gently after the abuse they’d suffered the night before.

  
"We'll... unh... see how it goes..." Sebastian gasped, finding it harder to think with Jim licking and touching him, whining in pleasure as Jim stroked and fondled him, continuing to stroke and tap at his entrance, not even hinting at sliding inside. He didn't want to hurt Jim, even as his hips bucked his hard cock into the boys hand. "O-or some other time yeah... we-we'll definitely, fuck. Do everything."

  
Jim could tell that Sebastian had maybe promised more than he was willing to give in regards to the sex but that didn’t bother him. He kept part of his awareness on Sebastian’s finger, just so he’d get a bit of warning in case the other boy thought of pushing it inside. After a minute Jim took used his extra hand to start stroking himself, keeping the tempo the same for both of them. It wasn’t very satisfying though so he tried something new and pressed their cocks together, stroking them both with one hand. Jim moaned a little too loudly at the new sensation, he’d never done this before and it felt amazing.

  
Sebastian gasped as he felt his cock against Jims, even more so at the happy noise Jim made, immediately wrapping his own hand around the two of them and stroking as well, grining as his hand and Jim's got mixed and tangled, bumping against each other as he whispered "fuck, fuck, fuck," gasped into Jim's ear. Everything was so hot, so _now,_ so intense, and it wasn't long before he spilled, letting Jim rest against his body and stroking him tight, continuing to stroke them both as he came down.

  
Jim was half crawling up Seb’s body, trying to chase more of the sensation. He was gasping and moaning as Sebastian came, their noise echoing off the tiles. Jim groaned low in his throat and bent up to kiss Sebastian’s neck as he came shortly after, just as there was a loud noise and a few of the boys burst into the showers as the little door jamb gave way. Jim flushed, feeling embarrassed and sick at having such an intimate thing witnessed by other people.

One of the boys started laughing loudly while another one pretended to get sick in the corner. “Seriously, Seb? That’s fucking gross you twat. He’s probably got crabs or something.” Jim hunched in on himself as more boys filled the doorway, wanting to see what everyone was laughing at. Jim’s hands shook as he washed their come off his hands in the shower spray and bit the inside of his mouth furiously.

  
Sebastian blinked, looking up in shock and then suddenly starting to see the funny side as they spilled into the shower, grinning and giving Jim a quick grope. "Oh fuck off you poufs - can't I get a bit of time to myself anywhere here?" Grabbing at the nearest showergel he flipped it at the head of the first lad in, laughing as he failed to duck. "Go on - bend over and pick that up, I'll have a fucking go at you next." Picking up his shirt, he held it over his groin with as much decency as he could manage and shouldering past them, turning after he left the bathroom and pointing back. "Oh - and anyone gives Moriarty a hard time over this and I'll staple their balls to their fucking bed then pull them off, understand?"

  
Jim tensed up in indignation as Sebastian groped him in front of his mates, gripping his arse and digging his fingernails into the skin. He startled as Sebastian threw something at one of the boy and the noise of it landing on the floor and bursting open echoed around the walls. He let his face go blank when Sebastian suggested he’d fuck one of the other cadets and he left Jim there, still standing naked and watched as he cautiously turned his back to them to preserve some amount of modesty. Jim was still flushed red, feeling angry and humiliated.

One of the boys stepped forward, as close as he could get without stepping into the water. “You look fucking wrecked when you come, I wish I had a picture.” He reached out and flicked one of Jim’s nipples, watching him get angrier. “I wouldn’t mind a taste, you seemed pretty desperate for it.” The boy grabbed at his own crotch lewdly and Jim snarled, turning the water off before grabbing his towel and clothes and storming back to his bunk to change. He didn’t care if there were more people around to see him, he didn’t want to be around that other cadet any longer than he had to.

  
Sebastian raised an eyebrow as Jim stormed back in, looking red and miserable, scowling as there were a few laughs from the bunks. He wanted to cuddle Jim and reassure him, but the best he could do was backhanding Hooper as the boy smirked, "Awwww has Sebby found a new little bumboy?" He hurried back to his bunk then, as he heard the sergeant approaching, tugging on his uniform and putting their two packs by the side of the bed, shooting Jim an anxious look as he got ready for the evening inspection. Still, they had the whole weekend together, and he could apologise then.

  
He tossed his uniform in the laundry basket, still fuming as he dug through his trunk for his sleep clothes. He flinched as another boy whistled at him and Sebastian slapped him one. This just made it more clear than ever that he’d cast his lot in with Sebastian, if he pissed the other boy off at this point all he’d have to do was throw Jim to the wolves. Jim didn’t have time to get dressed into his sleep uniform and the best he could do was pull a towel around his waist and stand at attention with his hair still dripping as the Sergeant came by to inspect them.

  
The Sergeant walked past, hesitating when he got to Jim, looking him up and down. "Oh? Someone thought to have a shower did they?" Reaching forward he yanked the towel away and let it drop on the floor, grinning as a few sniggers went around the room. "Let me guess - Moran packed your bags and you went to paint your nails. That's inappropriate uniform cadet - So I think you can give the kitchen a full scrub before sleep. In the uniform you're currently wearing, as you obviously think that's sufficient."

  
Jim was very uncomfortable around the sergeant, knowing what he knew about his relationship with Sebastian. He clenched his jaw as the man ripped his towel away, focusing on letting his hands stay loose at his sides so that he wouldn’t be tempted to hit the man or cover himself. His face turned red again but he managed not to flinch or look away. “Sorry, are you jealous?” Sebastian didn’t seem to be interested in being abused by the sergeant anymore and that had to make the man angry.

  
"Jealous of what - standing naked in a fucking room about to spend half the night cleaning the kitchen in the buff - fucking MOVE IT." The Sergeant shouted, while Sebastian clenched his jaw. The Sergeant looked at him and then said quietly, but still audibly, "You were instructed to pack your belongings Moran, not help out your fellow cadet in his beauty regime. My office. Now."

  
He grabbed his towel and wrapped it around his waist again, fuming at how unfair this was. He stopped and froze over some as Sebastian was ordered into the sergeant’s office. Jim grabbed him by the collar and quickly whispered, “You’re mine.” Before he let go and walked to the door, glaring at any of the cadets who smirked or sniggered at him. The boy who had harassed him in the shower licked his mouth as Jim walked by and he shuddered.

  
Sebastian watched him go then ripped off a textbook salute and headed to the sergeant's office.

 

* * *

 

 

The bunks were quiet and dark when he returned, and Jim's was still empty, so he stripped, carefully, and then bundled himself into Jim's bunk. The blankets - cleaned and starched every day - didn't smell of Jim any more, but Jim's abandoned night uniform was still there and so Sebastian hugged onto it, curling up around it as he drifted off to sleep. 

It was maybe an hour before morning bell when Jim finally stumbled back into the dorms, freezing his balls off because a towel was not enough to be wearing in the middle of winter. He tried to keep his chattering teeth quiet so he wouldn’t wake up anyone else. His body smelled like bleach and his hands were blistered and red from all of the scrubbing he’d done that night with harsh chemicals. Jim stepped into the showers again, rinsing himself off quickly of the chemical residue and trying to warm up. He grabbed a fresh towel and dried off before shuffling back towards his bunk and pulling on some sleep pants. A noise startled him and he hit his head hard on the underside of the bunk when he found someone else in his bed. It was only Sebastian though, still asleep, and Jim sighed heavily before crawling underneath the warm blankets and pressing up against the other boy. “Hey,” he whispered as he pet a hand over Sebastian’s head.

  
Sebastian gave a groan as he was disturbed, blinking sleepily and then whimpering, pretty much grabbing Jim and cuddling him close, wrapping his body around the little freezing one. There was something he'd wanted to say... ah yes... "Still yours." He muttered, strong arms pressing against Jim's back, trying to warm him up, "Fuck your toes are like ice. you alright?"

  
“M okay. Just chores.” It had been humiliating and dehumanizing, the sergeant had been in a fucking mood – presumably after Sebastian left his office and he’d screamed insults a lewd comments at Jim while he scrubbed the floor and the tables and whatever else the man wanted while he watched. He’d left though, after a while, not wanting to miss out on his own sleep and threatening to fuck Jim the next morning with the toilet brush if he went to bed before it was clean. Sebastian was warm and Jim cuddled in closer to him even though he felt scraped raw from stress after this evening. “Are you okay? Did he hurt you?”

  
Sebatian gave a little chuckle, rubbing Jim's cold hands between his own and kissing his forehead gently. In the dark he knew Jim wouldn't be able to see the bruised side of his face, "Just gave me a few slaps that's all. Nothing I couldn't handle. Almost all of them when I refused to give him a blow-job. Did... he didn't hurt you did he? He said he might... but, well, everyone does."

  
“He didn’t touch me,” Jim whispered as Sebastian warmed his fingers between his hands. “Just tried to get me to piss myself. I grew up with my da, that stupid fucker doesn’t scare me.” Jim lied. He was somewhat immune to psychological intimidation, at least at the sergeants level, but his father had never sexually abused him and Jim was plenty aware that the sergeant didn’t have any problems with doing something like that to him. He hadn’t but that didn’t mean Jim still felt keyed up and violated just from the man’s comments and threats, the way he watched Jim work, told him to get on his knees, put his back into it. He was absolutely sure the man had gone back to his rooms and touched himself thinking about Jim on his knees in front of him and scrubbing the floor naked. “I’ve got Watson now, he was probably scared of pissing him off – he never hurt me.” Jim frowned and tried to keep his voice even, “Sorry he hurt you. Glad that you didn’t – that you didn’t have to do anything else. I keep getting you into trouble.”

  
"What? No - fuck no. I keep getting you in trouble - with your dad, with the sergeant." Sebastian kissed him gently and nuzzled at his neck, swearing softly into the night as the action rubbed his bruised face against the pillow. "Try and get some sleep in before tomorrow - that's all he wanted, for you to start off exhausted and hammered. Don't panic and don't fucking worry - in a couple of hours we'll be in the middle of fucking nowhere with nothing but a tent and two sleeping bags, yeah?"

  
Jim nodded and whispered back argumentatively, “I’m not fucking panicked.” His fingers and toes were warmer and he knew that he shouldn’t let Sebastian sleep in his bunk but Jim still felt strained and watched and he didn’t want to wake up with the sergeant standing over him or that cadet groping him under the sheets. He fell asleep, still tense and sore but it was enough to get a little bit of rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Abusive student/teacher relationship, abuse of power by a teacher, sexual harassment and hazing between students.


	9. I'm Not Your Wife

Morning bell went off and it was the most unwelcome sound Jim could think of right now as he groaned and sat up in bed, hissing when he saw the state of Sebastian’s face now that the lights were on. “Fuck.”

  
Sebastian gave an unhappy groan as the lights went on but quickly tugged himself out of the bed, resting his arms on the top bunk and looking down at Jim with a grin, "That bad is it? Yeah well, he wants everyone else to see doesn't he - most importantly the Fucking Bastard who'll be taking us on this little camping trip. Get yourself dressed, I'll make your bed seeing as mine didn't get slept in. Ow fuck ..."

  
“I’m gonna fucking report him. We’ll stop by John’s before we head out this morning.” Jim let Sebastian make his bed since he still wasn’t the best at it, and he wanted to focus on making sure his uniform was pristine. He’d hear from the sergeant if the kitchen was clean enough too. He folded his blistered hands behind his back when he was ready, not wanting them commented on by the sergeant who came in looking bright and cheerful.

  
"Report him to who? My dad? Like fuck - the old bastard would have me out of here in a heartbeat. Believe me we won't have time to stop by anywhere." Sebastian fell silent as the sergeant walked passed, looking at their uniforms and nodding, mentioning absolutely nothing about their respective punishments.

"Alright - pick up your bags and head down to the gates. I'll leave you in the tender care of Mr Moriarty so don't fuck up and jump when he tells you."

As the turned around and quickly grabbed up their bags Jim winced a little as his hands came in contact with the rough canvas of the bag and he resolved himself to finding some kind of material to wrap his hands with later if he was going to be expected to use them. All of the boys shuffled outside, the boy from the showers – fuck Jim didn’t know his name.

 _Powers_  was stitched into the front of his uniform, bumped Jim hard with his pack and turned around quickly, “Oh, sorry Jimmy.” He glanced around to make sure none of the staff was listening before he leaned in and muttered, “Maybe I’ll come find you during the trip. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

  
Sebastian headed out, giving Jim a quick smile and then putting on a good-cadet poker face as they approached the gate. Moriarty was there and he could practically feel the man looking over his face and Jim's hands. He looked quickly away, not wanting to meet the mans eyes, not wanting to deal with the rather troubling way he felt about him. Instead he resolved to focus on Jim this trip, to make sure the boy was safe and relatively unharmed. The first stop of which would involve bandaging the boys hands from the first aid kit. 

Moriarty grinned and nodded to greet all of them. “You have a long day ahead of you, so you’d better get moving. You’ll be drawing targets from this hat, each group must complete your objective by the end of the trip. You all know how this works.” He ignored the fact that Jim didn’t, Moriarty was sure his little boyfriend would explain. He passed the hat to the first group and they took a slip of paper and passed it around.

“What is he talking about?” Jim muttered quietly to Sebastian.

  
"We get a target from the hat." Sebastian muttered back, not entirely sure how that could be misinterpreted. He took the hat as it passed by, taking out a slip of paper, reading it and passing it to Jim, "There you go. We have to achieve that by the end of the trip, make sense?" He lowered his eyes unchallengingly as Moriarty looked at them, wanting to appear subservient to the man. This was clearly no time to act out, he didn't want to make things any worse for Jim.

  
“I’m not fucking stupid,” Jim hissed back but he shut his mouth before his father walked by. “We have to… steal another groups supplies? Fuck’s sake.” 

Sebastian grinned, "I love the illegal ones. That'll be piss easy - we just need to make sure noone messes with us, then we'll find Hooper and co, beat them up, nick their stuff, and bunk down over the night. No problem."

  
Jim was still nervous, especially when he didn’t know what the other group’s goals were, but at least he wasn’t trying to fumble around on his own. He could strategize and help Sebastian keep them safe and taken care of during this trip. And somehow find time and energy to fuck because Jim didn’t know when he’d get another chance before Christmas break. “Dismissed.” Moriarty snapped before coming over and brushing his hand over Jim’s head. “Be careful out there Jimmy. There’s more than just your boyfriend out there what will bite you in the ass.”

  
Sebastian grit his teeth as Jim's father came over to them, concentrating on getting their bags and not rising to the challenge. Part of him felt a bit miffed that the man hadn't even mentioned Sebastian's injuries - he'd expected a smirk at least - and a bit let down that Moriarty hadn't heard about his punishment from the sergeant. Still - there was a whole weekend in the outdoors to look forward too, along with robbing some fellow cadets and sex with Jim up for offers. It wasn't worth making a fuss now and potentially ending up in solitary.

 

* * *

 

  
There was no jeep to drop them off in the woods this time, they had to walk themselves and Jim was exhausted from hardly sleeping at all the night before. After an hour of hiking he threw down his stuff and started digging through his bag for his water bottle. “Fuck. How much more are we walking today? What’s our strategy?”

  
Sebastian sat down next to him, pulling the water bottle out of the side pocket and shrugging. "We've got to get to the woods, but there's no rush. If you want to lie down and have a nap while it's not raining we can do that. I want to stay low for the first day anyway, then nick someone's stuff and make it home without getting into too much trouble with the rest of the lads. Fuck knows what they've been asked to do."

  
Jim took his water gratefully, trying not to drink too fast and to conserve it. When he was through he wiped his mouth and took a minute to breathe and get his wits about him. “I’ll wait until we can find or make adequate shelter. I don’t want us to get fucked over.” Jim rubbed at his eyes trying to stay awake. Part of the problem of being in the wild was it meant no caffeine to keep him awake when he needed it. “I’m not used to carrying the pack and it doesn’t help that I haven’t slept. I can go further though.” Jim stood and grabbed his pack, handing the water over to Seb.

  
"Don't kill yourself." Sebatian warned, putting the water back and helping him up. "Don't keep going till your last strand of energy, otherwise you'll have nothing left if things go tits up. Sleep if you need to, nobody'll do much on he first day, they'll all be setting up camp and working out how to achieve whatever damn stupid target they've been set. We're in no rush."

  
“Yeah, alright.” Jim didn’t really like not knowing as much as Sebastian did but it wasn’t exactly as though he was given ample time to curl up with a book and catch up on the survival training he’d missed. Jim would just have to learn to rely on Sebastian. They walked for another hour or two before Jim was ready to drop and they finally found somewhere comfortable to pitch their tent for the night. “Fucking finally,” Jim breathed. His stomach growled but he didn’t mention his hunger – Sebastian would already be more than aware that they’d need to eat soon.

  
Sebastian tugged out the tent - a quick assemble one, lightweight and state of the art, and constructed it, shaking his head at Jim as he heard the boy's stomach growl. "You should have fucking said. Look. There's something you have to know about survival, and it's something that people don't associate with the SAS fucking thing. You have to talk about any single weekness. You get hungry, you get tired, you get injured you have to _fucking_ say. The earlier you say, the quicker it can get fixed, the longer we'll survive. One of the first times I came out, I was a hell of a lot younger, but I twisted my ankle. Didn't say a word, just walked on it the whole day. Got back and the sergeant slapped several kinds of shite out of me: what would have happened if we'd been out all week? By the third day I would've been holding the whole group back. Whereas if it was bandaged and supported there would have been no trouble. Now - foil packets are at the side pocket in your bag - cheese pasta or chilli con carne."

  
Jim frowned and scowled, he didn’t like being lectured. “I just noticed, okay? Sometimes I forget I’m hungry.” He got distracted or hyper-focused and he forgot to eat or didn’t realize he was hungry. At home maybe that wasn’t a problem but out here it was dangerous. He sat and dug through their bags and tugged out the supplies they would need while Sebastian set up their tent. Jim pulled out the cheese pasta packet and found the small pot they could use once they got a fire going. “I’ll set up our sleeping bags and organize everything in the tent if you get the fire started.”

  
"Like I don't know that - skinny little thing like you needs all the food they can get and you barely eat." Sebastian grumbled, but fondly. He was pleased to be away from all the angst and trouble that seemed to have been happening at the camp lately, particularly with Jim's father and fuck knew who else. When the tent was up he got a fire going with his secretive lighter, sticking the small pan over the top and throwing his packet into it. "Alright, little home-maker, you get the tent tidied away. I'll go find some water then we can eat. There's fibre biscuits in the top section of your bag if you feel about to keel over."

  
“I’m not your wife,” Jim snapped back and then bit down on the rest of what he wanted to say. He was still pissed about the night before and getting walked in on and harassed last night. “I’m not your weak civilian fuck hole to impress all your friends with.” There was more but he held back, reminded of his goal of getting Sebastian to take him home for Christmas. Jim shouldn’t be starting fights, especially when Sebastian could easily abandon him here in the woods to fend for himself, but he was too prideful to take his words back.

  
Sebastian grinned, a grin which faded as he realised that Jim was looking seriously affected by it. Reaching down, he stroked the little fuzzy head, "Hey - it was just a joke. Of course you're not weak - when have I ever said that? The night I got waterboarded I seem to remember telling your da multiple times how strong and amazing I thought you were. And they aren't my friends, they're just wankers. You're the only one who's anything like a friend to me - you tried to staple my head when we just met, remember?" He tipped his water container into the pot so that the foil packets could start cooking. "Alright, I'll go refill this. You rest, you look fucking terrible."

  
“That’s not waterboarding. Waterboarding is when your body is on a diagonal and they like put a cloth over your face and pour water into your nose and mouth. Water shouldn’t get into your lungs because your head is pointed towards the ground. The real bastard is taking a shaken soda bottle and shooting the carbonation up someone’s nose. Like a champagne bottle but the bubbles aren’t so soft. Soda in your lungs and nose is really shit.” Jim was rambling, that happened sometimes when he got too tired. If Sebastian had reacted in anger Jim probably would have yelled right back but the other boy was almost apologetic and that was enough to curb Jim’s anger. He flipped Sebastian off for insulting him on principle but did as he was told and settled himself in his own sleeping bag in the tent. It should have taken him longer to fall asleep in a strange and uncomfortable environment but he was out as soon as he curled up on his side and closed his eyes.

  
"I know what waterboarding is..." Sebastian shuddered at the mention of other ones, figuring he'd probably been quite lucky just to have his hair washed by Moriarty. Still - the little germ of an idea of asking Moriarty for another test wasn't extinguished by the knowledge. He grinned as Jim flipped him off and then crawled into the tent, very tempted to crawl in after him, but he knew the boy needed the sleep. Instead, he headed off to the nearest river, following it upstream to a place where the water was moving swiftly enough. 

 

* * *

 

 

Jim slept until Sebastian shook him awake an hour later, shoving food into his hands. Jim reached up automatically to run a hand through his hair to check for bed head when he realized there was just stubble there now. He sighed and took the plate of pasta and a funny little utensil that looked like a multi-knife but had a fork, spoon, and knife attached instead. Jim was still feeling pretty groggy but he was determined to make it through the meal at the very least. He’d take another quick nap after that – he was likely to be pretty sore and tired after tonight. It was really the only time they’d have for sex though if they wanted to focus on getting their task completed by tomorrow evening when they all had to be back at camp. “Everything’s alright? You don’t need me to do anything?” Jim winced as the blisters and chemical burns on his hands scraped against the fork handle. He still wanted to pull his weight. Jim wasn’t just there to warm Sebastian’s bed.

  
Sebastian fetched the water, scouted out a little to see if he could find any other camps, then headed back to the tent. He grinned as he pulled out the food and opened the foil packets, shaking his head as he saw Jim's hands, "See - you're still fucking well suffering in silence. Come here, we need to bandage those up for a start. I'll stick some cream on them as well. It'll sting a bit." His fingers moved over the sore skin, shaking his head in anger. He'd seen the sergeant being cruel to weaker boys before, but had always figured it was their hard damn luck and they could always leave. Jim didn't have that choice. He wrapped the bandage around Jim's hands once he'd finished, keeping it close so as not to restrict movement.

  
“Sorry,” Jim muttered back automatically. It didn’t occur to him to ask for help, even before he’d come here he’d basically been on his own with just his mother who had been more of a burden than a help. “Forgot about that too.” He winced tiredly as Sebastian spread the cream around – he’d scraped the skin of his hands away on the brush and then the chemicals and bleach got in the open blisters, it had fucking hurt. Sebastian was surprisingly careful though and Jim softened towards him a little. The boy was brash and stupid at times and the physical side of their relationship was still a conflict for Jim but Sebastian himself wasn’t that bad. Jim rather thought he liked him. “It’s okay… I should probably get come calluses anyway.”

  
"It will get easier." Sebastian grinned and then tugged out his own eating impliment and lay back in small amount of sunlight that forced its way through the clouds, propped up on his elbows to eat, "Your hands are still pretty soft, not in a bad way, just not used to all this shite. He really is a bastard isn't he?" He said of the sergeant, a little sadly. The man had been his friend, in a rough and incredibly exploitative way, and it was a bit of a trial to find out that both the sergeant and himself were rather bad bullies. "Ah shite. He might warm to you. Once you've been here a while. S'just hazing isn't it?"

  
“It’s not ‘hazing’ it’s sexual abuse and exploitation of a minor. I don’t _want_  him to warm to me, if that means getting the piss beaten out of me when I don’t feel like sucking his cock.” Jim bit down on the inside of his mouth, he’d been avoiding the topic with Sebastian and wouldn’t have wanted to bring it up that way if he had. “…I just mean he’s a pervert and I don’t want to be around him, that’s all. I wasn’t trying to say anything against you.”

  
Sebastian froze as Jim talked, looking down at his food in silence for a moment before speaking, "Look. It's just fucking around, OK?" He was unconsciously echoing the words he'd been told himself. "It wasn't that I didn't feel like sucking him off, it was that I was being insubordinate, yeah? That's why he hit me. He didn't force me, did he? Just gave me a slap for being lippy and refusing him." He reached up a hand to gently stroke the bruises from the 'slap'. "Besides, I thought that's what you wanted? When you said, you know, that I was yours. Thought you wanted me to refuse him..."

  
“I did, and I appreciate that. I didn’t know he’d hurt you.” Jim had basically wolfed down his food and now he set the plate to the side and curled up in Sebastian’s lap, pulling the sleeping bag around him. “Slaps don’t bruise your face that bad. He was absolutely punishing you for not sucking him off – you’re lippy to him all the damn time and I’ve never seen him hit you before now.” Jim was realizing that Sebastian had a very difficult time keeping an objective viewpoint when he was the one being hurt or indeed doing the hurting. “If he had tried to make me suck him off and I told him no and he left bruises on my face like that do you think that would be my fault then? That it’s just fucking around?”

  
"I would rip his fucking nuts off if he laid into you like that." Sebastian growled, cuddling Jim close and snuggling under the sleeping bag with him, rather whistfully wishing that he could spend every evening like this, curled up with Jim alone and surviving rather than lined up and being counted. It felt a bit like Jim was stripping away everything he'd enjoyed as a cadet by pointing out that it was all fucked up and abusive bollocks, and he wasn't quite ready to admit that the last few years of his life hadn't been the truimphant success he'd been assuming. "He doesn't hit me like that often." He tried weakly, "He was pissed at you as well. Thinks I'm your fuckboy now." His face twisted at the language the sergeant had used. "Probably yelling to the whole camp that we'd fucked was a bad idea..."

  
“See?” Jim muttered as he let his eyes drift closed. He was only resting them. “If you wouldn’t want him doing it to me then he shouldn’t be doing it to your either. He’s way old and it’s super gross what he’s doing. Next time he tries to hit you just pull a Draco Malfoy and threaten to tell your dad. If that doesn’t make him back off, Mags will. He doesn’t want anyone fucking with his neat little system.” Jim sighed and scooted over so that Sebastian could fit better and they could get comfortable. “Yeah I got that he was pissed when he threatened to fuck me with the toilet brush.” Jim threaded their fingers together so Sebastian wouldn’t think he was angry. “It wasn’t your brightest idea, that’s for sure.”

  
"He threatened to _what!"_ Sebastian yelped, hugging Jim closer and deciding he needed a serious talk with the sergeant when they got back. The thought of Jim being in that kind of danger made him shudder, and of course completely reassess what had happened to him. "Git..." he muttered, giving another low growl, a bit annoyed that his happy perfect cadet world had been so brutally shaken up so quickly. "Yeah, well. I'm sorry. It was you who decided to go into the fucking shower. Ah fuck, it's not your fault. None of it's your fault. You've just been chucked in and I'm piss poor at looking after anything. Had a dog once. It died. Mags fucking ran over it. My dad went fucking starkers but him and Mags have... issues.”

  
Jim flinched as Sebastian yelped in his ear but settled down quickly when he pulled Jim tighter against his body. It chafed that Jim needed protection but it really was better than the alternative. Besides, he was basically pimping himself out for Mags’s protection so this shouldn’t be all that different. He was intensely curious when Sebastian mentioned his father’s and Mags’s relationship but knew better than to ask so instead he leaned up and kissed the other boy briefly on the lips. “Sorry your dog died. That’s shit. But I’m not a pet, I can take care of myself. Most of the time. He wouldn’t have seriously hurt me, Watson is going to flip his shit when he finds out the Sergeant made me clean in the nude just so that he could watch me.”

  
"Oh you are nothing like a pet - pets do what I fucking well tell them!" He laughed, and slid a hand under Jim's shirt to stroke at his stomach. "You're a mad little thing and more than perfectly capible of looking after yourself. Hell you fucked me up first time I met you. 'M just trying to tell you all the tips to survive in this crazy place." He gave a grin and stroked Jim's fuzzy head before giving it a kiss. “I was only seven when the damn dog died, I've got over it now.”

  
Jim made a happy little affirmative noise when Sebastian insisted he could look after himself. He squeezed Sebastian’s wrist understandingly when he talked about his dog. Jim was sure that it was still something that had been hurtful as a child and Jim could feel some sympathy for seven year old Sebastian seeing his pet hurt like that and still feeling responsible for it almost ten years later. “M gonna sleep now. We can fuck later, mkay?” Jim was already half asleep, warm and mostly comfortable despite their outdoor conditions. He wasn’t so hungry anymore either and that helped too.

  
"Heh... course. You need sleep so sleep." It certainly made no sense to Sebastian to self-regulate desires - certainly not at a time like this when they could get away with whatever they wanted. He gave Jim's head another little kiss and then murmured softly, "I still can't believe you do actually want to fucking sleep with me. Specially when you're so fucked over from the Sergeant. You're a bloody beautiful creature and I'm here whenever you want me." He reached into his bag and tugged out a small blade, grinning as he hid it under the sleeping bags incase of any unwanted night time guests.

 

* * *

 

  
When Jim woke up again it was dark and Sebastian was no longer curled around him. He grumbled a little and had no way to determine what time it was. Maybe he’d ask for a watch for Christmas. He couldn’t believe he’d be asking for such outdated technology. “Sebastian?” Jim called out quietly when he didn’t immediately see the other boy.

  
Sebastian had dashed outside the tent at god o'clock in the morning, desperate for a piss. He hopped back in, quietly swearing and shivering, jumping as he noticed Jim was awake and tumbling down to join him, wrapping cold muscled limbs around the little body and giving a nip at Jim's ear, "You alright? Didn't have a nightmare?" He didn't say it flippantly - knowing Jim had plenty to have bad dreams about. "Needed a fucking piss. Watch out, there's someone else out there as well, could hear them scurrying around. Fuck knows what they're doing, but if we wake up and the tents gone that'll be it.

  
“Ugh,” Jim hissed reproachfully as Sebastian climbed in between the sleeping bags and pressed his cool body against Jim’s. It was dark and Sebastian must have put the fire out so it would be more difficult for the other groups to find them. Jim could barely see Sebastian’s outline above him. Good. This would be easier in the dark. He steeled himself a bit and pressed the heel of his palm against Sebastian’s cock, rubbing gently but quickly. “I’m okay. Let’s just get you warmed up, alright? We’ll just have to be quiet.” Fuck they didn’t even have privacy in the woods.

  
"Gwah -" Sebastian hadn't been expecting Jim to start groping him but certainly wasn't about to complain, grinning in the dark and licking his earlobe. "Mmmm... woke up horny did we? Hot little thing. Mmm you are hot." He squirmed his body back, rubbing chilly hands over Jim's back, feeling down the nobbles of his spine as he went.

  
Jim couldn’t help a little grin as Sebastian responded to his touch, even if everything else was rather nebulous Jim did enjoy getting reactions out of him. He liked to see him happy and relaxed. “I suppose. You said something about not ignoring my needs on this trip, right? I need your cock inside me.” Jim’s mouth twisted but there was no way Sebastian would see it in the dark. Jim managed to choke out a laugh though. “I am hot and you are _cold.”_  He liked Sebastian’s hands on his skin and Jim moved his hand away from Sebastian’s crotch to remove his own uniform jacket and shirt. “Undo my trousers.” Jim started stripping Sebastian’s top.

  
Sebastian laughed quietly as Jim gave the order, murmuring a, "yes sir." against the skin of Jim's stomach as he fumbled the trousers open, kissing and then sucking gently at the skin, leaving the odd nip as his mouth trailed down to Jim's hipbones. "I'm cold now but there's one bit of me that is ragingly warm." He hesitated. "My cock." he clarified, and then giving up on poetry entirely, "I really want to fuck you."

  
Jim still liked when Sebastian called him sir, even if it was probably a residual reflex from when he was with the sergeant. He gasped and bucked his hips as Sebastian mouthed over the skin surrounding his naval, leaving little marks there that would probably fade by morning. “Mmm, I can feel that.” Jim teased as he gave Sebastian’s cock a quick grope before he rolled over onto his stomach. Jim being on his knees or his stomach would be better, even if it was already dark. “Touch me then. I put the condom in the front pocket of my bag. It’s in a little baggie, keep that because you’ll need to dispose of the condom later and I’d rather not have come smeared all over my bag.”

  
Sebastian had been hoping to have a taste of Jim's cock and was therefore rather disappointed when the boy rolled over. Still, now he had Jim's arse in front of him and he certainly wasn't about to complain about that. Giving a happy little mew he licked around the edges, bit down on the plump skin, rubbed his hands up over Jim's back and the back of his neck, loving every inch of the beautiful backside in front of him. "The best thing." He murmured into soft skin, "Will be watching you walk tomorrow, knowing I've been up inside this."

  
Jim grimaced and bit his lip at the reminder, they didn’t have lube and more likely than not he’d be left limping tomorrow. For now though Sebastian wasn’t trying to push anything inside him, he was just touching his skin and that felt good. He’d intentionally only brought one condom because he only wanted to do this once tonight, it was possible that Sebastian would have chosen to suck him off but Jim was still working through the idea of Sebastian and the sergeant being together. Jim settled with his legs bent underneath him and his arse sticking out, figuring it would probably be easiest on his hands and knees. “Just – use as much spit as you can, yeah?”

  
Sebastian sat back, confused a little as Jim seemed to be just levering himself into position and letting him get on with it. He'd assumed sex would be more... gropey. More giggling and twisting. More 'oh god please yes' rather than 'just try and use lube'. He scowled, squeezing hard at Jim's arse. "Don't be a silly sod, I've got lotion yeah? Not taking you dry." There were a few seconds of fumbling around in his bag and cursing and then he tugged out the little bottle triumphantly, sliding some on his fingers, and then rubbing them against Jim's entrance, "Mmmm... wish it was light enough to watch you blushing. Bet you look gorgeous."

  
Jim shook his head and crawled away from Sebastian’s hands, “What? No you can’t… Seb you can’t use lotion with condoms like this they won’t work.” Jim felt around and found his bag and dug around until he found a hand towel. He wiped any of the lotion that got on him and handed it over for Sebastian’s hands. “Just spit is fine.” Jim muttered as he settled back down into position, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath.

  
Sebastian hesitated as Jim moved away, frowning, "Why the hell not, does it make the condom explode?" He grumbled. He looked down at Jim's body, feeling slightly uneasy. Sure the fact they were in a tent probably reduced the amount of flailing and acrobatics they could do but he felt sure, somewhere deep inside, that Jim should be enjoying this more than he currently was. Irritated he gave Jim's arse a slap, "Fucks sake we don't have to do it. I was about to suck you off before you stuck your arse up like an offering." Slightly apologetically he rubbed gently at the handprint. "I mean I want to, fuck knows I want to, but not if it's going to hurt you. Shouldn't hurt..."

  
“Ow,” Jim yelped and then quickly covered his mouth, wary of the other students still prowling around. “Sorry. I only brought one condom, and I want to do this…” Jim made himself relax and he ground himself back against Sebastian, trying to entice him to continue. “It won’t hurt. Just trust me, I’ve done this before.” Jim lied. He assumed that Sebastian had done this before and he didn’t want him thinking of him as a virgin.

  
"Yeah? Well let me know if I'm doing it right then." Sebastian managed a breathless laugh, and that was about as close as he was willing to go in admitting he was a complete virgin. Licking his fingers he gently pressed one of them into Jim's backside, gasping a little at the tightness, "O-ohhh... this is going to be... oh wow." The finger slid in and out, twisting around, watching in fascination as the little ring of muscle tensed and clenched away. "Mmmm..." Reaching down he kissed at Jim's back while is finger worked. "L-lift your arse up... a-ahh yeah. Like that... mmmm niiiiice."

  
Jim exhaled slowly and tried to relax his muscles, the single finger didn’t hurt but the chafing was uncomfortable. He had some concerns about the condom breaking but there was nothing he could reasonably do at this point. He took Sebastian’s words to mean that he wanted Jim to tell him if he was pleasing him right, not that he didn’t know how to do this and he was only guessing. Jim raised his arse higher and lowered his head down to the sleeping bag so that he could rest his cheek against the material and close his eyes. “That’s good,” he muttered encouragingly, hopefully he could just wind Sebastian up and watch him go after he got involved.

  
Sebastian gave an unhappy little frown, Jim sounded less like someone lost in sexual ecstasy and more like someone attempting to train a particularly dim puppy. He fell silent, a little miserable that he couldn't pleasure Jim the way he wanted too - particularly given Jim knew what he was doing and Sebastian very much obviously different. With a little sigh he pushed a second finger in, twisting it around and looking at Jim's arse again. Quietly he said, "Look I - I know I'm probably shite at this. Just... I mean... what do you usually do? Is it usually... better?"

  
Jim frowned a little and wondered why Sebastian was asking about his supposed previous sexual partners. Then he pushed another finger in and Jim clenched around it painfully while he gasped for air. It sounded sexy though right? Sexy gasping? He had so much more respect for his mother. “Uhn, look this first time doesn’t have to be mind blowing, I’m not going to drop you and find someone else if you aren’t a legendary pornstar in bed, yeah? We’ll be able to do this plenty of times again. All we can do is make it the best we can. It’ll feel good as soon as you’re inside me, promise.” Jim’s cock was soft and he quickly reached down and started stroking himself off, he suspected that if Sebastian found out then he’d probably just storm out of the tent.

  
"Yeah." Sebastian answered miserably, feeling even worse when he noticed Jim stroking himself. Great. Not only was he a crap sex partner, he was so crap that Jim couldn't even keep it up. He pushed a third finger in, forgetting in the moment that he hadn't really lubed it up any, and looking sadly at the single condom. Only one. One chance. That was clear as fucking daylight and he appeared to be fucking it up royally. He sat up, twisting his fingers around are realising how crushingly ridiculous it was, him crouched in a tent with three fingers up someones arse. At this rate his cock would be joining Jim's pretty soon.

  
Jim could hear how miserable Sebastian sounded and he bit his lip and felt like crying in frustration. Why did everything have to be so fucking hard, it was like he couldn’t catch a goddamn break. Sebastian pushed his third finger in and it was completely dry, Jim’s whole body tensed and he bit his lip near bloody trying to keep a noise in. When he felt like he had more control Jim moaned and made himself rock back against Sebastian’s fingers. “Yeah that’s that’s good. You’re doing good. Just uh – why don’t you use the lotion on your other hand and help me? I liked what you were doing earlier with your mouth. Have you been stretched before? It doesn’t always feel good initially but the sex is amazing.” Jim jerked suddenly as Sebastian got a lucky hit on his prostate. “Oh fuck – god, that was…. Can you do that again? Find my prostate?” Jim knew what that had to have been but he’d never felt it before himself. He hoped to god Sebastian knew what a prostate was.

  
"Find your what now?" Sebastian was completely at sea, and chuckled a little miserably as Jim asked the questions, "Ha, no... I haven't been stretched before. Haven't done any of this before, which is clearly why I'm so shite. You... you liked that?" His finger had been dry and Sebastian grinned, thinking he was now possibly on the right track. Bending down he shoved his fingers in harder, licking behind Jim's ear as his other hand groped at the lube, "Dirty boy, you like it when I shove it up you all rough and dry, hmm? Well I can do that..."

  
Jim flinched but it could have been mistaken for another jolt of pleasure, it was funny how the two got such similar reactions sometimes. He whined as Sebastian forced his fingers inside him harder, clenching the sleeping bag material in his fists. It was on the tip of his tongue to insist that _no_  that was most _definitely not what he meant._ But Sebastian was grinning, Jim could hear it in the sound of his voice and the way his teeth pressed against the shell of his ear. “Ye-yeah. I was embarrassed about it before so I didn’t say anything. Fuck I can’t wait to have your cock inside me.” Jim kept his voice light and excited, using the strain he felt from the pain to come across as eager.

  
Sebastian flushed, pleased to have found where he was going wrong, and licking and nuzzling at Jim's ear again, "Don't worry - I'll make it good, promise." At least he could understand where Jim was coming from. He could see the appeal of hot rough sex, and the idea that Jim might also reciprocate later on, and grinned, tugging his fingers away and fisting his cock a few times before sliding on the condom, being careful to get it the right way as they only had one. "Alright..." he growled bending low and biting the back of Jim's neck, "Mmmmmm I'm gonna fuck you so hard you won't sit straight." And with that he forced himself inside.

  
“Fuck!” Jim pressed his forehead against the ground and screwed his face up, trying to remember to breathe and desperately tried to relax hoping it wouldn’t hurt so much. Nothing seemed to really make it stop hurting. “Give – give me a second.” He pleaded, still biting his lip and just trying to breathe. The pain on the back of his neck went unnoticed next to the pain in his arse, like he was being split open. He’d never had more than a few fingers before and this was fucking excruciating. People did this for fun? After a few moments where he caught his breath and steeled himself, already starting to disassociate some. “Okay. Move. You’ve imagined this before right? I want you to fuck me the way you imagined it.”

  
Sebastian stopped moving instantly, watching Jim's face closely. Even in the dark he could tell the boy was in pain, whimpering and looking unhappy. Angrily, he grabbed Jim's hips and thrust forward, once, twice, three times, before pulling out and landing a harsh slap on Jim's arse. Tugging the condom off he threw it in Jim's face, all but snarling. "Yes I do imagine it. I imagine you fucking enjoying it - not acting like I'm forcing you to go through with it. Just... fuck that was the only condom... just fucking wank off alright? Then you can run back and laugh with Magnussen about how shite Moran was on his first fuck."

  
Jim wiped at his eyes furiously when they betrayed him and started leaking. It just hurt was all. Maybe he’d gotten something in his eye. His face was flushed in humiliation and he started grabbing his clothes quickly. He wasn’t hard anymore which was something, at least he was spared that betrayal of his body. Sebastian’s dry cock fucking his arse, actually _moving,_ was one of the most painful things he’d ever experienced and the added humiliation was not helping him keep calm like he knew he should be. Magnussen would be so angry. Jim stilled at the thought, the dread he felt in his gut when he realized how badly he’d fucked up was almost enough to make him apologize and beg Sebastian to start fucking him again. Almost. He was furious and hurt and something else that was nebulous and dark and tied into the things that he’d always heard his father say about his mother.

Jim stood on shaky legs and refused to wince, steeling his expression as he tugged on his trousers. “I fucking hate you,” Jim spat, but his voice cracked and ruined the effect. He flushed again, snarling and grabbed his shoes and vest before storming out of the tent. He would rather spend the night in the cold than share a tent with Sebastian. He’d thrown a used condom at his _face._ He moved as quickly as he could while he was limping away from the tent, just picking a direction and going. After a little while the adrenaline wore down and Jim felt how sore his feet were from walking through the underbrush. He stopped and leaned against a tree as he pulled his shoes and socks on and tugged his vest on over his head to try and warm up some. It was fucking freezing. Leaving the tent with no supplies had been stupid but he wasn’t going to try and go back either. Jim was suddenly very very tired and he slumped down against a big tree that did a good job of blocking the wind but not much else. He gave an unhappy yowl when he sat on his arse and Jim quickly gave up on that, curling up on his side so that he’d only be in moderate amounts of pain.

It occurred to him that he could die of exposure – if one of the other groups didn’t find him the next day there was no telling how long he might be out here. Jim had thought he’d walked in a straight line from their tent but now he thought maybe he hadn’t and it would be impossible to find the tent in the dark anyway. If he died now it would probably be a mercy to what Magnussen would have in store for him when he heard about what a clusterfuck this was. He didn’t hold out hope that he could somehow salvage his and Sebastian’s relationship in time for Christmas. Jim rubbed his face before tucking his hands under his armpits, content to wait out the night under this tree. If he survived till the morning then he could figure something else out.

  
"Fine, fucking LEAVE." Sebastian snarled after him, feeling miserable and confused. He'd tried to do what Jim wanted and had only hurt him. Then he'd lashed out and hurt Jim even more. Miserably he curled up down in the tent, trying to conserve the heat for when Jim got back, his cock now completely soft. That was it - he'd fucked up his first chance of proper sex and by the sounds of it Jim wasn't planning on giving him another go. Jim had bought one condom, and Seb had wasted it. Swearing, he scrubbed at his eyes, still really confused as to how he'd managed to fuck everything up so badly. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: dub-con


	10. Move

Carl Powers almost stumbled over Jim in the early morning light - curled up and shivering. Staring for a while he frowned, and then realised just how lucky he was and quickly tied Jim's hands behind his back with cord before he could wake, wrapping his jacket around Jim's front and tying the sleeved behind him to restrict him further (and also hopefully prevent him dying of exposure) before giving his face a slap to wake up. "Wakey-wakey. Did Sebby throw you out already? He'll go crawling back to the Sergeant's cock, he always does. This is probably the quickest target I've ever achieved, get on your feet and fucking walk. Don't try anything or I'll knock you out and drag you there."

  
Jim was so exhausted he didn’t wake up, even when Powers tied his hands. His lips and fingertips were tinged blue with cold and Jim wanted to cry again for how unlucky he was. Technically getting found at all was probably actually good luck unless he’d thoroughly committed to the whole actually dying thing. Still, Powers certainly wouldn’t have been his first choice if he was going to be rescued. Jim startled awake when Carl slapped him, automatically pulling hard at the cords around his wrist to free his hands but Carl had done the knots well. Jim was disoriented and confused but he was aware enough of his situation to know that he was in tight spot and he shouldn’t make things more difficult for himself. It was easier said than done though and his legs were sore and stiff from sleeping curled up on the cold ground all night. When he finally got to his feet Jim winced and made an unhappy sound when his realized his arse still hurt pretty terribly. He didn’t respond to Carl’s taunts though, he didn’t think he had the mental capacity currently to think of something witty.

  
Carl smirked, pushing him towards the bed and watching as Jim winced and stumbled, "Oh my god - you actually put out for Moran? Are you mad? Didn't you _see_ him in the shower? Your father will fucking _eviscerate_ you." He kept up the mocking insults until they reached the tent, where if gave Jim a kick to make him fall inside.

Carl's partner jumped as Jim stumbled inside, grabbing his sleeping bag and struggling out of the way, "Powers, what the _fuck..."_

"I've done it." Karl replied smugly, "Achieved our target, pretty damn quickly too. We just need to stop him running."

The partner looked at Jim and chewed on his fingernail a little worriedly, "yeah, and stop Moran rescuing him."

"Rescuing him? Moran fucking chucked him out. I don't think we need to bother."

  
Jim was too cold to flush but that didn’t mean Carl’s comments weren’t degrading or making him angry. After a few moments he tried to ignore it by focusing on working the stiffness out of his body and the pain he felt at every step. It was almost a relief when they reached the tent, at least it was a bit warmer in there. Jim still had Carl’s jacket tied around his upper body and that kept what little heat his body produced from escaping. Jim’s legs gave out as Carl kicked the back of his knee and sent him tumbling to the ground, huffing out a pained breath when he couldn’t catch himself because his hands were tied. “I don’t suppose you’re going to feed me?” Jim asked with no real hope.

  
Carl frowned and looked at him, then looked at his partner, Victor, who shrugged, still chewing his nails, "Target was to kidnap Moriarty alive. I suppose we should give him some food."

Carl frowned and then shook his head, "The weaker he is, the less he'll be able to run. Give him some water though, wash out the taste of Sebastian's cock. I'll tie him to the inside of the tent and then we'll just keep low and concentrate on getting ourselves through the weekend."

  
Jim didn’t really have any intention of running, it wasn’t like there was anything better waiting for him out there. At least here he was starting to warm up and they were going to give him water. Carl lifted him by the elbow and dragged him to sit against a metal pole stuck in the ground before tying him off to it. There was a few inches of slack and Jim would be able to curl up on his side later and sleep if the mood took him. Victor brought the water and Jim choked as it was tipped into his mouth and he tried to swallow down as much as possible before Victor took the bottle away again.

  
Carl watched and then rolled his eyes, slapping the back of Victor's head and making him give an outraged noise and spill the water down Jim's front. "Have you forgotten _all_ your lessons. You're meant to be giving him a drink, not waterboarding him. Remember helping with dehydration? And don't get my fucking jacket wet, in fact, here..." He snatched the bottle away and started properly letting it trickle into Jim's mouth. "Go and find something to eat and try and see if anyone's targetting us. I can't _believe_ you forgot to bring proper food."

  
Jim shivered as the water tipped and chilled his front as it got wet, but it was worth it for water. Probably. He’d die of dehydration before exposure in these conditions. Jim was actually grateful when Carl took the bottle and more gently tipped it into his mouth. It was an intimate thing and Jim didn’t like it. After a few moments Carl took the water away and Jim curled up on his side again so he wouldn’t have to sit up. He’d only meant to lie down in a more comfortable position but he worried he might be getting sick.

  
Carl watched Jim as he curled down, pulling a blanket over him and then bending down to whisper, "That was our target you know. Not just to kidnap some random twat. To kidnap you. Your dad really has it in for you, so you might like to behave if you don't want me telling him that you got fucked and then thrown out by Sebastian Moran." He gave Jim a little kick for the look of things, then headed out to start making a fire.

 

Jim was disturbed by Carl’s words but didn’t know what else he could do, he was already being a model prisoner. Of course his father had fucking made that a target, it was such a petty thing to do on his first real trip out and he could just wave it off as hazing the new kid. Jim didn’t want his father finding out about Sebastian because there was nothing to stop him from running to Mags and telling him as soon as he could just to rub it in his face. Jim pressed his face against the dirt and closed his eyes, letting schemes and plans run through his mind until he accidentally fell asleep.

  
Carl watched him lying there, then realised that sleeping Jim was recovering Jim and gave him a poke with a stick, "'S weird isn't it. Everyone else is here because their fathers want the best thing for them. You're here because your father wants the worst for you." He poked Jim a few times idly and then smirked, "So tell me, just for interest, what is Moran actually _like_ in bed? You know Victor gave him a hand job once, lazy pouf. Was it awful? All grunting and rutting like fucking pigs in a sty. Did he slap you? I bet he slapped you. The Sergeant always slapped him. He's had these little 'infatuations' before you know, and he always gives them up in the end." He gave a mocking laugh, "I'm sorry if you thought it was true love..."

  
Jim glared hard when Carl started poking him with a stick. Carl’s tactics were so plebian it was pathetic. “We’ve known each other a week and the first time we met I used a stapler on his fucking face, so _no,_ I didn’t think it was _true love.”_ Jim shook his head in irritation, “Are your comments supposed to bother me?” They didn’t really, the only thing that bothered him was that Mags was going to lose his shit, Jim had fallen into a bit of a crazy place where he knew that he was going to be killed, unpleasantly, very soon. That left him a sort of freedom most people never have. Everything else, all of Carl’s comments were like gnats in comparison to that knowledge.

  
"For Sebastian Moran that's practically a proposal." Karl sneered, more accurately than he perhaps realised. He sighed and dropped the stick, turning back to the fire. Jim was being no fun.

 

* * *

 

 

About an hour later Victor came back, looking pale, glancing at where Jim lay tied to the pole and shaking his head in fear, "Oh fuck, Sebastian Moran is ripping the damn forest apart. He heard from Hooper that someone's meant to kidnap him - he's beaten the shite out of Hooper and two other teams already. We need to get out of here, and preferably back to the fucking check point." He shot a worried look at Jim and then turned angrily on Carl, "I thought you said he'd chucked him out? He's gone fucking nuts."

  
Jim grinned bitterly and shook his head, “He didn’t chuck me out – I left.” Basically that was true. He was still surprised that Sebastian was apparently looking for him but Jim didn’t let that thought grow J.us because he was looking for him didn’t mean that he wasn’t still pissed off or that he still wanted him. “Just got lost in the woods and couldn’t find my way back in the dark. Worst luck.” That was almost true too.

  
"He got lost, he got _lost."_ Victor repeated hysterically, running around scattering his belongings everywhere as he tried to pack until Carl hit him again.

"Calm down. What exactly is Sebby upset about?"

"Moran, Moran, don't call him Sebby. He's furious, he's threatening to rip peoples heads off. Oh fuck."

Carl grabbed him and gave him a shake. "Look just calm THE FUCK down. Just because Moran's got his knickers in a twist over his lost boyfriend doesn't mean we have to. Pack your stuff and get the tent down. Take him off the pole for now, he's not about to go anywhere."

  
As soon as Victor distractedly cut him away from the pole Jim waited until they were both occupied with getting the tent down before curling up in a ball and pulling his arms underneath him so that they were now tied in front of him instead of behind his back. He grabbed Powers’ jacket to cover it but it was entirely possible that they wouldn’t notice he’d switched his hands around when they were nervous and rushing. A plan started formulating in his mind, a way to get free and complete their objective. Sure, if it didn’t work it wouldn’t be a huge deal but Jim didn’t really want the extra punishment that would come with not completing their objective. But Jim couldn’t carry both their sets of bags and didn’t in fact know where the academy was. So he’d wait. Jim watched them carefully, watched Victor put the knife he’d used to cut Jim away from the pole in his back right pocket. He could be patient.

  
Victor cut him away, being careful not to cut Powers's jacket, and tightening the sleeves again behind Jim's back. He couldn't remember which way around Jim's arms had been tied, and was quite frankly more preoccupied with trying to escape Sebastian than with the tired and hungry prisoner. Carl doused the fire and swung his bag up onto his back, "C'mon, get the tent rope around him and just pull him along. He can walk... I think... fucking can't believe Sebby actually fucked him. Come _on!"_ Victor grabbed his pack and did as he was told, letting Jim trail along behind him and feeling grateful that at least the other wasn't trying to scream or draw attention to himself.

  
Jim let Victor get in front of him and trailed along behind, limping along. Some of the limping was exaggerated but for the most part it just fucking hurt. He was trying to be patient but he was getting very tired of Carl’s shit. “Why is it _that_ unbelievable that he fucked me?” It made him angry to be dragged along like an animal. It would be stupid to yell and try and draw Sebastian’s attention, there were no guarantees that he was still in the area and Jim wanted them to let their guard down as much as possible – nice as it would have been to be carried when his muscles were stiff with cold and his arse stung like fire.

  
"Because he doesn't fuck anyone..." Victor piped up, as Carl glared at him. He'd been hoping to come out with something more snide, but he was more worried about getting them safe and far away from Sebastian Moran. "He's still got to be all proper and non-pouffy for Mags and his father. Yeah he'll have the odd fumble but he's never fucked anyone..."

"Shut _up..."_ Carl hissed, "You would bloody know you snivelling little wanker. Just shut _up_ and we'll get back to the checkpoint."

  
“Are you jealous?” Jim’s tone was incredulous and he couldn’t help a little laugh. Then Victor gave a hard tug on the line holding his hands and Jim fell on his face, “Ow. Fuck. I was just taking the piss mate.”

  
"Jealous?" Carl stopped to stare at his fallen form, giving him a kick, "Why the hell would I be jealous of some useless pouf like you? What I am is surprised. Surprised that Sebastian fucking Moran, son of a lord, decided to give up being the Sergeants fucking bumboy in order to roll around in a tent with a useless skinny little shit like you. What I'm surprised about is why he hasn't already grown tired of you, why he _didn't_ throw you out after he'd used you, and of course I'm wondering when he inevitably will get fucking tired of you, and leave you out for the rest of them. Now keep walking and shut up."

  
Jim didn’t exactly have anything to say to that. It was true. Jim just knew that the answer was because Jim had seduced him for Mags. He’d fucked it up, obviously but if Jim was going out there wasn’t much point taking Sebastian with him. “I’m limping because I twisted my ankle you stupid fuck. There’s a reason it sounds unbelievable, stop jumping to conclusions.” Jim followed after them for close to two hours, until the academy was directly in view and Jim could see his father standing there looking like a smug fuck because Jim’s hands were still tied. Now was his chance though. Jim brought his arms down, snapping the zip ties away as his elbows brushed against his sides and the ties broke against his stomach. Jim pulled the rope hard, tugging Victor off balance and Jim ran up and kicked him in the back of the knee. When the boy went down Jim fished his knife out of the back pocket and flicked it open, pointing it under his collar bone. “Right. Powers I’ve taken your partner hostage. I want you to walk forward to the camp and don’t move or I’ll cut him. Victor I want you to stand slowly and pick your pack up again. _MOVE.”_

 

* * *

 

  
Sebastian had woken dozily - going from unaware to confused to scared to angry in a matter of five minutes. Packing up the tent and supplies he'd strapped his pack to his front, Jim's pack to his back, and then gone out searching for the boy. A few broken noses and threats later and he'd discovered that Jim was a) alive and b) captured. In the absence of finding anyone to blame he'd just torn through the rest of the woods - ripping apart and scattering belongings, and finally stealing the last possessions of a terrified cadet, strapping them up behind Jim's bag and staggering to the pick up place, knuckles bloody, clothes wet and muddy where he'd occasionally fallen and face snarling. He'd stopped stock still when he'd seen Jim - brandishing a knife by a terrified looking Carl and Victor, with his father looking displeased next to them. His mouth dropped open and he felt a sudden rush of love for the boy, tugging the bags off his back and throwing Jim's at Carl's head. "Oh that's where you fucking got to. I thought we just had to steal some other buggers belongings - not their entire group." He gave a grin at Jim that was relieved, loving and highly excited. "You little shit - I've been carrying your fucking belongings all the way around the damn forest. What did you pack in there - bloody rocks?"

  
Jim glanced over quickly at Sebastian and put Victor’s knife away in his pocket. “You packed my bag you twat.” His tone was softer than what he’d intended, Jim was still furious and now overwhelmed with Sebastian’s apparent overnight forgiveness. He didn’t know what to do, he hadn’t planned for this set of circumstances and Jim decided he needed some time to himself. “If we’ve passed the exercise?” Moriarty nodded, still feeling a little sullen but also proud of his boy for that stunt. Maybe he wasn’t totally hopeless. “Then I’m going to medical.” Jim grabbed his bag since Sebastian was complaining about it and hooked one strap over his shoulder while he limped determinedly to the hospital wing. He wasn’t terribly injured but he wanted access to a medical kit and John’s advice.

  
Sebastian's face fell as Jim mentioned medical and he closed his eyes in horror a little, looking up to meet Moriarty's gaze. Now he was fucked, he knew. Jim would tell John Watson that Seb had as good as assaulted him in a tent and John Watson would tear him in half. He'd never seen John properly angry, but according to the Sergeant, Watson had once punched Mycroft Holmes so hard the young man had fallen through a French window. He wasn't so much afraid of the pain, but of Watson thinking that about it - thinking Sebastian was capable of hurting Jim. The guilt and anger thudded against him and he turned to Moriarty. "Sir - can I have a word?"

  
Moriarty watched his son limp away suspiciously and then turned his eyes on Sebastian. The two of them were a huge pain and it was interesting to see them apparently fighting. “Not going to hold your girlfriend’s hand in medical? What did you do, buy her the wrong kind of flowers? What the fuck do you want Moran?”

  
Sebastian swallowed down the automatic snapped reply, sliding the final bag off his shoulders and looking at Moriarty in the eyes. "The extra training you did. As my... punishment. I thought I'd passed it, but I've been thinking and I didn't. I didn't pass it at all. I told you what you wanted to hear right at the end. I wasn't prepared for that kind of... backwash after you'd stopped. I..." He hesitated, bit his lip and then plunged forward. "I'd like another session, Sir. Another training session. Thought I'd ask you, rather than go the traditional route of punching you in the face to get it."

  
Moriarty stared at him for an uncomfortably long time and from his expression made it perfectly clear that he thought the boy was fucking crazy. “Well Moran,” he drawled out with exaggerated slowness “I can’t say I’ve ever had anyone stupid enough to _ask_ me to torture them.” He shook his head impatiently, “You don’t build up a resistance to this. Doing it over and over again isn’t going to completely prepare you for a real situation because it’s _real._ You can’t fake the hopelessness and the certainty you are going to die. Not over and over again. This just doesn’t work like that.” He stopped and thought a moment when he saw Sebastian’s determined face, realizing the boy wouldn’t take no for an answer. “Fine. Friday night at the end of the week. _If_ you are a model of good behavior until then, are we clear?”

  
Sebastian nodded quickly. His heart thudding frantically in his chest. Part of his brain was screaming at him that he'd just done a phenominally stupid thing, but he could hardly back down now. He didn't believe Moriarty could be right either, that he couldn't become better at knowing his own body's reactions, better at responding when things got tough. "Thank you sir, I understand." He resisted the urge to take a look at Jim, limping over to the medical centre and faced forward instead. "Friday night. I'll be there."

 

* * *

 

  
Jim pushed into the medical room feeling pretty sullen and worn out. He was still limping after that two hour march through the woods and somehow he was still cold. He’d not so much come to have John fix his body as help him work out what he should do now. Jim dropped off his bag and limping over to the bed, the one he was nauseatingly starting to think of as his own, and laid down on his front. “Watson?” Jim called, nervously glancing around when the doctor didn’t immediately come in and still half expecting Sebastian to come storming in after him.

  
John had been busy in his office, frowning as he heard Jim come back and rubbing the bridge of his nose quietly. Then he stood, took a breath and came through, shaking his head, "You know just once I'd like you to come back from a class or an expedition without needing patching up. Are you all right? What happened..." he looked at the way Jim was lying, a little worriedly. "Was there... an accident?"

  
Jim grinned at that and shook his head, “but then you’d never get to see me and ask how I’m doing in school and bring me a batch of biscuits.” Sarcasm dripped off of his words as Jim sneered at the idyllic picture. “M not hurt bad. My hands are hurt and my wrists are bruised. Got tied up. Uh… I’m fucking cold because I got lost outside and spent the night under a tree. That probably accounts for everything.” Everything Jim would let him check anyway. “Mostly I came to – ask for advice, I guess.” Jim watched Watson warily, expecting to be mocked or laughed at. He’d been entirely self-sufficient from an early age and asking help _now_ was… grating and made him feel childish. It was just that he didn’t know Magnussen very well, he hadn’t seen him use other boys like he was using Jim. John had. This was just as tactical decision.

  
John raised an eyebrow, looking him over professionally, and bringing over a warm damp cloth to wipe his wrists, as well as some disinfectant. "Well, I suppose it could be a lot worse, although I am surprised Sebastian didn't look after you better. Of course I'm more than happy to give advice. You know I'd much prefer to be a - uh - foster parent who gives you useful advice than a foster parent who gives you bandages." Taking Jim's wrists he wiped the cloth over them and then dipped it into the disinfectant and repeated, looking at Jim's wrists thinking the boy might find it easier to talk without too much intense eye contact. "What's on your mind? Other than... all the shit obviously. What specific thing can I hopefully be useful for?"

  
Jim swallowed and hissed as the disinfectant stung at his hands. “Uh –“ he stalled and decided to tattle first. “The sergeant is sexually harassing me. And Sebastian. Isn’t there anything you can do about that since you’re – you know, my guardian?” Jim wasn’t quite ready to talk about his failing and humiliation in the tent just yet.

  
John looked up, looking grave. "The Sergeant is sexually harrassing you?" He swallowed his rage with difficulty and then gave a short nod. "That is incredibly serious and I will bring it up immediately with Magnussen, threatening to take it higher if he doesn't respond. We can stop that straight away. His... dalliances with Sebastian not so much. Sebastian would have to admit to them for a start - and a defence would be able to do something with the fact that Sebastian was of age and consenting, despite the position of responsibility. However I can certainly protect you from any more of that behaviour." He hesitated and then gave Jim a small smile. "Thank you for... for trusting me enough to tell me."

  
“That’s how my hands got all fucked up. He had me cleaning the dining hall by myself all night. He wouldn’t give me gloves. He didn’t touch me but – he wouldn’t let me get dressed and he watched me. He was angry because Sebastian told him no. He hit him.” Jim rubbed at his face, “I don’t know – I think I was getting through to him. To Seb. I don’t think he’s going to do that anymore. I don’t know, he might go back to him.” Jim exhaled and rested his face against the crook of his arm so he didn’t have to look at John. “I fucked up. I think Magnussen’s going to kill me. But I might be able to salvage it, I don’t know…” Jim’s voice was muffled by his arms.

  
"Shhhh ..." John wrapped his arms around Jim, having pulled away the last of the makeshift bandages on Jim's hands he was shocked at the damage and gently rubbed his back. "I'm sure it's fine. Moran does... genuinely seem to care for you, in an odd way, and I'm sure you haven't screwed everything up. I won't let Magnussen kill you, I'll stand in front of him and look as fierce as I can." Jim had spent far too long with the weight of the world on his shoulders, and John felt desperately sorry for him, still gently stroking his back. "Tell me what happened." The boys had just returned so he didn't even have any rumours to get along with.

  
Jim held incredibly still and his mind went completely blank as John held him and rubbed his back. His first instinct was to pull away but – it probably made John feel better. So he let him continue. It was just strange. No one had held him since he was little. “We were supposed to have sex because it was the only chance we were going to get and – and I needed to get invited back to his for Christmas. I thought if we were fucking he’d be more likely to invite me.” Jim hunched over some, feeling trapped. “It didn’t go well. I was bad and he got angry – I fucked it up. I think he knows somehow, about what Mags asked me to do. I was really bad.” Jim wasn’t used to failing at anything and discovering that he was bad at sex was rather a blow for him. Not that he was in any kind of hurry to try that again, he still couldn’t believe people did it recreationally. “He’s going to kill me when he finds out.”

  
John pulled back a little as Jim hunched up, not wanting him to feel trapped or surrounded - and in particular like he was imposing. "There are many, many negative things I could say about Sebastian Moran, and I suspect you could join me in them. But I don't think he's going to drop you just over a night of bad sex. In all probability he's just as panicked as you about it." He looked out the window, frowning as he saw a little line of cadets outside with various injuries. "Um... and _something_ seems to have happened to about half of your fellow cadets. I'll see to them in a minute. Really though - bad sex is not going to tear apart a whole relationship, although it might make it excruciatingly embarrassing for a while. Magnussen will not kill you for having bad sex with Sebastian, partly because he never needs to find out. He... well I don't know what he wants, but from the rumour mill I'm guessing he wants you to ingratiate yourself into Sebastian's family. If the worst comes to the worst, tell Magnussen you've been invited to see them, buy yourself a train ticket, and bump into Sebastian in Waitrose 'by coincidence.' You'll find a way."

  
Jim nodded miserably, but he didn’t think John really understood. “No it – it wasn’t embarrassing. I couldn’t fake it well enough, I didn’t know what to expect… I just fucked up. Now he’s angry because it hurt so much and his pride was hurt… neither of us could find any lube that wouldn’t deteriorate the condom. I thought it would be better to be sore than catch something from him. He will dump me because he knows I’ve been lying to him. Mag’s is going to kill me if I can’t do my job because Sebastian hates me. He’s going to know – I’m limping everywhere and Sebastian’s pissed at me. It’s not difficult, Powers figured out what happened in about thirty seconds.”

  
John looked at him, debating between giving him another hug, hard and comforting, and just slapping him around the face. In the end he gave the boy a helpless pat on the shoulder. "You tried to have sex for the first time, with a young man who is also a virgin, without lube? You tried to have sex with a young man who is highly protective of you and you thought it would be a good idea to _fake_ the enjoyment? I - well - god knows what he's thinking but I wouldn't conclude he _hates_ you until you've had a chance to talk with him. Find out what he actually feels. And if he hits you he'll have me to answer to. Yes you have fucked up, but probably not in the way you think. If I were you I'd... well I'd probably shoot both magnussen and your father in the _fucking_ head... sorry." He took a deep breath and gave a smile, shaking his head. "If I were you I'd wait. Sebastian is probably angry and confused, not a good combination. Once he calms down he'll talk, you can discuss things, you can see how he feels about you."

  
Jim nodded and was able to relax a little bit more now that his situation didn’t feel quite so dire. “When you put it like that it sounds rather ill thought out…” Jim had just felt so fucking desperate that he’d latched on to the idea and run with it. “Next time you’re mad at him you should sit down and give him some proper sex ed. He didn’t know what a prostate was. Or how to use the condom properly.” Jim wasn’t judgmental, Sebastian’s lack of sexual education was a failing of the school and his parents, not his fault. “Are you going to bandage my hands again or do they need to breathe?” Jim sighed and hung his head a little, “Can I – do you think I should have a note for morning classes tomorrow? It really hurts. I don’t think I could do my laps tomorrow and with my hands still fucked up…” Jim hated asking for special treatment but he didn’t want Darren making lewd comments at him the whole time either.

  
John blushed at the thought. "I am not going to teach Sebastian Moran, of all people, about the birds and the bees. I could... leave a book in his trunk? You're right though. His sexual 'education' such that it is will have come from his father's gossip, porn magazines and the sergeant. I'll bandage your hands, and of course you can have a note for tomorrow. At the very least it will make Sebastian Moran feel guilty, which is an emotion he doesn't feel nearly as much as he should considering what he gets up to. You just have a rest now and try to heal quickly. I'll pull the curtain across while I deal with all the other injuries."

  
Jim actually laughed when he saw John flush, “You’re a prude! No it’s okay I wouldn’t want to teach him either he can be pretty thick about some stuff.” John finished bandaging his hands and wrote him a note. Jim steeled himself and hopped down from the bed, hardly wincing at all. “Nah it’s all right, I’ll just go have dinner while they are still serving it. I’m fucking starving.” Jim had only eaten the one meal in two days. “You have other patients, no worries.” Jim bit the inside of his cheek and bounced his weight from foot to foot for a moment before muttering, “thanks.” And leaving quickly so that John wouldn’t be able to reply in that sickeningly sweet tone that he used sometimes like he thought Jim was a hurt animal he’d found outside.

  
John hesitated at asking if he could review Jim's arse, and decided wisely against it, seeing as the boy could still walk. For the rest of the day he spent hearing about the various rampages that Sebastian had been on, deciding by the end of the day that a) Sebastian Moran was still completely besotted with Jim Moriarty and b) Sebastian Moran should probably be put down.

 

* * *

 

 

Seb froze as he saw Jim limp into the hall, his eyes darting around for signs of John Watson vengeance before looking back down at his food. He had no idea what to say or where to start and decided just to awkwardly concentrate on his food for now. He had a feeling he'd missed a meal somewhere along the line and beating people up did give him an appetite.

  
Jim had to sit next to Sebastian because it was his assigned seat and it would look suspicious if he didn’t. He tried not to wince as he sat down, just wanting to pretend like it hadn’t happened. Jim choked down his food as quickly as he could, starving and chilled and he just wanted a long sleep in his warm bunk. After he’d finished most of his food he glanced at Sebastian’s knuckles. “You should really get John to look at those. Something might be broken, at the very least you should get them disinfected. Although you might want to wait a bit as there seems to be a line for the infirmary right now.” Jim teased hesitatingly.

  
Sebastian twitched a little as he saw Jim wince, poking miserably at the food and then giving a small smile as the slight teasing, "Yeah well... I heard you'd been kidnapped. Did you think for a moment I wouldn't tear the whole place apart trying to find you again?" He muttered back, slightly embarrassed about being so open in his loyalties. He bit his lip, hesitated and then ploughed forward. "Did you - did you tell Watson? Please fucking tell me you didn't tell Watson. You know that I - that I raped you in a tent. Because I'm fucking dead if you did and... well. I don't want to be dead..."

  
“What? No!” Jim winced at his volume and then quieted down, he just – Sebastian was weird. Jim’s feelings were rather hurt by the suggestion and he bristled. “Do I really seem like the kind of person who would lie about something like that just to save myself a little embarrassment? Fuck off.” Jim didn’t realize that Sebastian legitimately suspected he’d raped the other boy and only thought he was being suspicious about Jim having the power to get him in trouble.

  
"It would be a lie?" Sebastian asked, rather hopefully, confused by all of Jim's reactions and realising that he was probably coming across as monumentally self-centred - more concerned about his own health than Jim's. "I mean - you were hurt. I hurt you. Fuck that wasn't meant to happen." He pushed his food around the plate with his fork and grimaced, "I know you only wanted to give me one chance, you know, one condom, but... I didn't mean to fuck it up that badly. Maybe... maybe another time you could give me another chance?"

  
“Yes, it would be a lie. Did you not hear me telling you I wanted it?” Jim clenched his jaw and started pushing his food around on his plate with his fork. “You didn’t hurt me that bad, okay? And I wanted it, I was the only trying to convince _you_ so don’t go throwing words like ‘rape’ around unless you’re ready to report the sergeant.” Jim glanced up in surprise and frowned. “No, I – fuck that wasn’t why. I only brought one because I figured… you’d want to have sex more than once and I knew it would hurt… you didn’t fuck it up, you just did what I told you. John wanted to smack me for being so stupid.” Jim’s mouth twisted a little and then relaxed and smiled. “Maybe next time we could use lube? It’s just so difficult to get contraband from outside the academy." Jim steadied his nerves with a deep breath and then took the plunge. "…What are you doing over Christmas break?”

  
"Why did you want to do it if you knew it would hurt?" Seb managed a relieved smile as Jim explained matters and gave a little scowl to hide the overly pleased feeling bubbling up inside, gently knocking a fist against Jim's shoulder, "If John smacks you I'll take him down. Silly little bastard. Oh I'm back home for Christmas. Dad's career is picking up and there's some big fancy political expensive dinner thing that I have to sit at, bored to death and being the Good Son. Foods usually pretty tasty though."

  
Jim shrugged and didn’t answer Sebastian’s question. Explaining why he did it anyway – he just didn’t want to have that conversation. Sebastian bumped his shoulder and Jim grinned tentatively, relaxing into their usual comradery. “Don’t take him down he’s the only decent adult here, if he smacks me it’s probably for my own good.” He paused and set his fork down, “…If you want then maybe I could go with you? I’m not doing anything for break and we’d have access to proper supplies if you wanted to try again.” Jim didn’t especially want to, or at least he was still nervous about it hurting like this but Jim had already resolved himself. “Sorry – I’m really sorry that I fucked everything up so bad.” Jim rubbed at his eyes and felt a little sick. Probably this shitty cafeteria food. “I just wanted it to be good for you at least.” He scowled as he remembered how angry Sebastian had been. “Have I been punished enough or are you going to stay pissed at me?”

  
"What - how the fuck can it be good for me if you're in pain?" Sebastian answered, low and gentle, mostly to stop the rest of the cafeteria hearing. Reaching under the table he rubbed and squeezed Jim's leg. "How have I punished you? I've barely seen you? I ripped a whole forest apart looking for you, fuck I was so angry." He patted the leg gently and continued, still low, "I was never pissed at you. I was angry I couldn't have sex right. Fuck don't you dare tell a fucker I said that." He grinned, and then thought about Christmas. "I - I dunno." Alarm bells were ringing in his head, regarding Magnussen and his father, "I'd fucking love to have you there but it'll be a big political wank - all top nobs and fuckers. You'd have to sit in the kitchen and it'll be boring as hell."

  
Jim shrugged lightly and looked away, his mum never seemed to like sex but her clients did. He figured it would be similar somehow, that he could fake his way through. Jim snorted and shook his head, “You haven’t punished me, I meant sleeping outside and freezing my arse off and then being held as their hostage. Why were you angry?” Jim frowned and scooted his leg away from Sebastian’s hand, “Dunno you seemed pretty angry when you smacked me and threw a used rubber in my face.” He sighed and smiled, pushing his knee out so it rubbed against Sebastian’s thigh. “It’s alright, I’d still get you in the evenings, wouldn’t I? It would be nice to get away for a bit. Have some privacy…” And lubricant. 

"That wasn't angry at _you_ that was just..." Sebastian sighed, looking away and feeling a bit shite. It hadn't been the best way to behave, "I'm sorry..." he scowled at the food, "I was just upset and fucked up. Wasn't thinking." He felt a bit better as Jim's leg rubbed his thigh, "I was angry because I'd hurt you, and left you in danger and I didn't know what to do. Then I found out some shite had kidnapped you and _fuck_ I was raging." he thought for a bit, his face twisting. He didn't want to refuse Jim, but he also didn't want to compromise his father. "It would be pretty epic to get some time together." He admitted, "And I'll do a much better job of fucking you."

  
Jim shrugged and sighed out the last of his resentment over the issue. It wouldn’t do to hold on to it when he needed to get back in Sebastian’s good books. “We’ll work it out. It’s not like I didn’t know you can be a mean little sod. I’m not much better.” Jim grinned and pushed his leg against Sebastian’s. “It wasn’t really a kidnapping. I went with him willingly because they had food and water and shelter. I was so lost I didn’t know how to make it back to our tent. And then I stole their shit… sort of. Father couldn’t complain anyway.” Jim grinned and nodded, “You didn’t do anything wrong last night. Just need something to make it more comfortable is all. Although I’m getting out of morning classes for a few days so maybe I should let you bugger me more often. I’d like to go with you… otherwise it’ll just be me and da and Mags. Cheery family time.”

  
The thought of Jim being left alone with Magnussen and his father made Sebastian scowl, "Well that's decided then. I'm not leaving you here - I'll come back and find they've buried your corpse in the forest. I'll get dad to send you an invitation and pretend you're the son of an earl or something." He patted Jim on the head and finished eating. "Alright, well I better try and clear this bloody homework then, seeing as I don't have mornings to do it in, alright?" He hesitated on the verge of telling Jim about his rather stupid plan for Friday evening, but decided against it. "See you at lesson."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: discussions of sexual assault


	11. Try and Break a Little Bit

Moriarty had actually taken some time to plan and work out the best way to teach Sebastian his lesson. After this the stupid boy would not be running around asking people to torture him. It was Friday, after dinner and today had been the last day of classes before the children left for break the next day. Moran was more than aware that he couldn’t leave marks on the boy, not with him going home the next day. He thought he’d worked out a method that would hopefully not damage him too badly but should scare him straight. He waited patiently behind his desk, entirely too pleased with himself and ready for the boy to show up. It would be a shame if he didn’t.

  
Sebastian felt nervous all day, the hardest part was hiding it from Jim, who he ended up snapping at to fuck the fuck off when the boy started chatting at lunch. He lurked in the bathroom after chores and then scuttled over to Moriarty's office, muttering as he went "stupid, stupid, this is stupid" until he reached Moriarty's office. Straightening his uniform he entered and ripped off a salute before coming over to the desk, trying to keep his breathing light. "Sir?"

  
Moriarty noticed his nerves and grinned. “Thank you for being on time. Let’s get right to it then. Put your arms behind your back, press the backs of your arms together. It will be a little uncomfortable but it should lower your chances of accidentally dislocating anything.” Moriarty pulled out a roll of duct tape and began binding Sebastian’s arms like that, from elbow to wrist over his sleeves so hopefully it wouldn’t mark too badly if he struggled. “Now sit over there on the floor. I’m going to do your legs up the same way.” Moriarty indicated the patch of floor he wanted him to sit on and got to work on his legs too.

  
Sebastian hesitated for just a moment, getting himself mentally into the right place. Moriarty wasn't a competent if sadistic teacher, he was an enemy combatant - this was all illegal, insane, uncharted. He obeyed, glowering, locking his arms behind his back and feeling his heartrate rising as the duct tape locked him in place. He sat and let the man do the same to his legs, licking dry lips and rehearsing his name and number in his head like a mantra.

  
Moriarty grinned and gave the side of his thigh a companionable slap. “All warm and cozy? Can’t get free? Good. It gets dangerous if you move around too much. If I agree to do this then you need to promise not to hurt yourself, I won’t be happy with you if you get me in trouble, understand?” Moriarty puttered about the classroom, turning off half the lights and making it dimmer. “If you’re very dedicated to this training, Moran, the thing you need to know is what your weaknesses are. Now you’re a stubborn bastard, I’ll give you that. That’s not one of your weaknesses, not on it’s own. You see I could beat you bloody and you probably still wouldn’t tell me a thing.” Moriarty went and opened the classroom door and the Sergeant came in carrying a little figure over his shoulder, gaged and blind folded with his arms bound in front of him. “This is your weakness. Caring. I’m not going to waste my time trying to get you to talk by hurting you – instead I’ll hurt him.” Jim thrashed and screamed into the gag as the sergeant put him down and Moriarty locked the door behind them. Jim kicked at the sergeant but he couldn’t see where he was and his blows were easily dodged.

  
"I won't get you in trouble." Sebastian muttered, already having grave misgivings about the whole thing. But it was too late now, now he just had to get through, to survive. He frowned and then his jaw dropped open as the Sergeant came in, and as he realised exactly who he was carrying. For a second his eyes closed in terror, but then he opened them, staring at Moriarty in disgust. He wanted to rage at the man, to shout and scream, but he needed to keep as much information away as he could so instead he just stared forward, biting his lip hard and hoping Jim would not realise he was here, let alone that he had asked for this.

The Sergeant gave Moriarty a nod, shooting a serious glance at Sebastian, shot through with a slight disappointment. "Alright Moriarty, here he is. Put up a hell of a fight, I'm taking that out his fucking skin for a start."

  
Moriarty grinned and reached forward to pinch Sebastian’s cheek, mindful of his teeth if he should turn on him and bite. “No objections then? Good, you’re learning to control your impulses. That’s a start anyway.” Moriarty turned around and gave Jim a hard slap that shut him up immediately. “This boy snitched on you to Watson, didn’t he? And he stole your little fuck boy. Simon you’ve got a bit of a personal grudge, don’t you? Make it count.” He turned back to Sebastian. “Cadet, tell me your address, to start with. Sergeant, if he doesn’t tell speak then you may begin.”

  
Sebastian snarled but was far too busy trying not to lose it completely to think about attacking Moriarty in any way. His mouth was dry and he flinched as Jim was slapped across the face. Thanks to any god there was - Jim didn't know he was here yet and he focused on that small mercy, biting his lip and snarling at Moriarty, shaking his head obstinately. The sergeant reached over and sighed, rubbing at Seb's head before he backhanded Jim hard across the face, knocking him to floor, "How far can I go? He shouldn't even be here - he doesn't want to be a soldier, doesn't have any backbone."

  
“Do what you want with him,” Moriarty knelt down in front of Sebastian smirking a little bit. “This one decides what gets done. How easy he gets it. He is a good whore for you, isn’t he Sebby? My son? His mother was a good whore too. Do you want to tell me anything Sebastian? No? Well then…” Moriarty stood and grinned at the Sergeant as Jim squirmed. “Go ahead and fuck him then. That seems fair since he’s taken your boy.”

  
Sebastian's eyes closed as the sergeant finally mentioned his name. That was it then, and he felt the bottom drop out of his stomach, looking away from Jim. Maybe he should just do it. Break now. Tell them. This was only a stupid game, he was the only one hurting Jim - and at that the anger flared back and he was suddenly Sebastian Moran - with the whole weight of the British Establishment bolstering him up. He gave a sneer at Moriarty, "Why the fuck would I tell you anything? Why is it any of my business how many of your relatives you treat like whores?" He was slightly reassured when the Sergeant shot Moriarty a look of deep disgust, manhandling Jim around so he was bent over the table, arse facing away from Sebastian at the Sergeant gave it a few pats and gropes. "I never fucked Sebastian." He said mildly. Giving Jim a few more pats. As far as he was concerned this was a lesson Sebastian definitely needed to learn, but that didn't mean he thought Moriarty was anything other than a fucking bastard for doing it this way.

  
Jim stilled when he heard Sebastian speak, shuddering and trying to squirm away as the Sergeant bent him over the table. He screamed into the gag and did everything he could to fight the Sergeant off. Moriarty grinned as Sebastian got his back up and nodded. “That’s good. You can’t care. You won’t care after I make you watch. You aren’t going to want to touch him ever again. Not that he’d want you to, after getting him in this mess. This is your fault Sebby. But you can make it stop if you talk to me.”

  
It wasn't what Moriarty was saying that bothered him, it was that Jim could hear it. That Jim could hear it was his fault - but then the inner Lord Moran raised it's head and sneered. "My fault? I'm duct-taped to the fucking floor. You're the one playing your stupid fucking games." Leaning forward as far as he could he spat into Moriarty's face, adrenaline thudding through him, and grinning as the Sergeant couldn't help a small approving grin as the spit hit it's target. "I'm talking now you fucker - does that count? Shall we start a dialogue here?"

  
Moriarty wiped his face passively, knowing that such a childish tactic was expected. “You are making this more difficult on him. Maybe you cared less than I assumed? Or you’d like me to think that anyway? Being a smartass isn’t going to help him, Moran. Simon, take his trousers off. Make sure Sebastian here gets a good view.” Moriarty knelt down again and petted the top of Sebastian’s head. “Will you get hard do you think? You hurt him, didn’t you? Everyone saw him limping. And you like a man in uniform, don’t you?”

  
The sergeant whispered into Jim's ear and then wrenched his trousers down, forcing the material over the thin hips without bothering to undo any buttons or anything. Sebastian snarled up at Moriarty like a feral dog, knowing he'd never felt less like going hard, not with Jim here about to be in pain and the terror that he was still fighting with. "What are you hoping to achieve? Yeah this'll make me feel shite, and him even worse, but it's not about to make me tell you my fucking address."

The Sergeant gave a smirk, slapping at the pained arse in front of him and flicking at Jim's explosed hole, "Sebby likes big men in uniform, not little skinny fucks like this. Are you certain this one's yours mate? He looking like fucking plant that's been grown in the dark."

  
Moriarty shrugged, “This is just an exercise Moran. I don’t actually give a fuck about your address. But since you don’t know any military secrets I’ll stick to something boring. Often times you start soft and as they give more answers you make the questions harder.” He stopped and glanced over as Jim shrieked as the Sergeant stripped him. “He’s mine alright. His mother never fed him right.” Moriarty laughed, “He was practically grown in the dark. Before I showed up his mother would keep him in the closet when she had a client over. I saved that boy’s life and instead he ran off with his mother.”

  
The sergeant shook his head, "Kids. They break your heart. If I were you Sebby I'd stop fucking around and just damn well tell him."

Sebastian sneered, disgust clear across his face, "Can't believe you're actually doing this. Fucking a kid. Raping a kid. You actually going to go through with that? All the way? Just because Moriarty's pulling your fucking strings?" He smirked, "You suck his cock? I can sort of imagine you both going at it... Moriaty's clearly a roaring pillow-biter in denial." His shoulders were starting to ache and suddenly the whole situation seemed faintly ridiculous. This was an exercise, a game, and Moriarty was clearly mental.

  
Moriarty rolled his eyes, “Your petty insults are childish. You don’t have any power here Sebastian. Except to stop this, if you wanted to. Are _you_ actually going to go through with this? Let him be hurt and raped? Perhaps you think I’m bluffing?” Moriarty stood and gestured to the sergeant, “Do it. I’m going to get a coffee, do you want a cup? I’ll expect you to be done by the time I get back.”

  
"I'm not fucking _letting_  anything. Duct taped to the floor remember?" Sebastian snapped, turning his attention on the sergeant, furious, who simply rolled his eyes with a good natured grin and then shook his head.

"Nah, no drinks." Undoing his zipper he scratched his nails down Jim's arse, reflecting that this wasn't really his type either and then snapping his hips forward.

  
“You could stop this if you’d just tell me your address. But you won’t, because your pride is more important to you than his body.” Moriarty gave a little wave and nod to the sergeant and left the room, heading to the back for his coffee pot. Jim tried to wiggle away from the sergeant’s nails as he scratched him, keening pathetically and screaming into the gag when he pressed into him.

  
Sebastian looked at the sergeant, who he'd previously admired, fucking Jim, his little Jim and his eyes widened and he was suddenly terribly sick all over the floor. The sergeant looked at him, eyebrow raised and gave a little smile, quietly murmuring, "You're doing well..." his hips still thrusting up hard against the shrieking boy in front of him. Sebastian closed his eyes and leaned back against the wall, closing his eyes and letting the noise wash over him, chipping away at his soul bit by bit and running hot poison through his veins. He wished he could wipe his mouth, but the ache in his shoulders confirmed that was impossible.

  
Jim couldn’t fucking see or speak or move and he fucking hated all of this, hated his father so fiercely that he burned white hot with it. Moriarty came back with his coffee and smelled the sick on the floor and rolled his eyes, “Fuck’s sake you’re a pussy. You can’t even watch? He’s managing, on his own. And you can’t even watch to make sure he’s okay.” He shook his head and sat at his desk, pulling out papers to grade while his son was violated on one of the tables. “Maybe I was wrong about you. You’re a fucking cold hearted bastard Moran. Weak but stubborn. Finish up will you? I’d like to salvage some of my evening.”

  
Sebastian rolled his head sideways, looking at him dully, "Sebastian Moran, 24069." He murmured through lips that tasted of bile, watching Moran marking while he heard the familiar sound of the Sergeant cumming to the side of him. Jim's horrible sounds, the smell of sick and the horrible terrible feeling of slight twinging pride that refused to go away. Right now, he just wanted to crawl into a hole and die, but at the end of the day, he'd fucking managed. That was something. Stubborn was better than nothing. He suddenly never wanted to see Jim ever again, let alone at Christmas, or in the company of anyone better than Sebastian, which right now he was certain included the entire living world with the marked exception of James Moriarty.

  
Moriarty looked up when the Sergeant finished up, setting down his pen and pulling a pair of scissors out of the drawer. Jim laid limp against the table and breathed carefully, too scared to move until he was told that he could. "Sebastian you should be proud of yourself. Even if your a piece of shit you will make a good soldier. You should be loyal to your country above all else. You showed real promise today." He muttered as he cut away the tape, "if you really want me to continue training you I'll consider it." When Sebastian was free Moriarty backed away quickly. "You can go to him now. Take him and get out of here. I'll see you when you come back from break."

  
Sebastian stood up, stretching, looking at Jim on the table and breathing heavily. He turned to Moriarty, his voice still and measured. "Last time I made the mistake of fucking breaking once you'd finished. I'm not going to make that mistake now. You had your son raped. For no reason. And _you."_

He turned on the sergeant who rolled his eyes and snapped, "Fucking go to him Sebby, look at him!"

Shocked, Sebastian came over, feeling sick again, walking behind Jim and looking dully at his arse, untouched, unfucked, just a little reddened where the sergeant had slapped it. He blinked, feeling stupid. "You - what? What the hell? Did -" He closed his eyes and bit his lip harder, before he did something stupid like asking _did Jim agree to this?_

  
"Your a bright boy." Moriarty sneered, "did you really think I'd risk Magnussen flying off the handle at me over some training I agreed to do for you? It was just a simulation. But even with a simulation you know now what you really are. And you _chose_ to let him get raped. He knows what you are Sebastian Moran. Go. Take him and get out." Jim was shaking and then reached up to pull the blindfold and gag off as he stared at the floor and gasped for air.

  
Sebastian stared at Jim, bile raising in his throat again as he turned to look between Moriarty and the sergeant, feeling no anger, just a kind of dull shock.

The sergeant gave a laugh, reaching up and batting the back of Seb's head, "C'mon Sebby. Fair dos. You should've seen your fucking face and god knows you've been needing a lesson like this. I can imagine you're probably not too keen on seeing the little bugger right now, and you know my office is always open..." he grabbed Seb's arm and almost felt surprised as Sebastian pulled away from him, turning to hiss like a cornered wild animal.

"I'm not _yours."_ he spat and then turned to Jim, looking at him and then finally dropping, collapsing to the floor on his knees, head bowed, right in front of Jim.

The sergeant stared at him, even more surprised, and then started laughing again, "Oh fuck, fuck, this is priceless."

  
Moriarty watched impassively and shook his head before taking his coffee and left. Jim dragged at his pants, trying to get his trousers up to cover himself. "I don't want to be here anymore." His voice was dull and numb as his hands shook. "Just... I want to go to medical. Seb." Jim was uncomfortable with Sebastian kneeling and he tugged at the boy's collar with his bound hands. "Come on. Let's go get you cleaned up."

  
Sebastian stood up, starting to shake. The Sergeant looked at him and shook his head, "You dumb little fuck Sebastian. Don't trail after him waiting for his cock, there's no way you're going to-unh-" He staggered backwards with a groan as Sebastian suddenly whirled around and thumped him hard in the face, putting all the rage and tension behind that fist and striking out fast as a whirlwind.

"I don't give a _fuck_ about his cock..." he hissed, venom and malevolence filling his voice. "I don't give a _shit_ if he never puts out at all - after what's just happened I doubt I'll ever deserve it. And if you ever even _think_ of doing anything like that to him again I'll cut your throat." The sergeant gave a yelp and then Sebastian was on him, pushing the larger man up against the wall with the sheer force of rage and nutting him hard in the face. "I'm not yours anymore. I'm fucking _his._ And this isn't about cadets anymore, or exercises, or stupid fucking kids games. This is about me, and him, and my father and Magnussen. Alright? So if I need to slit your throat for him I _fucking_ well will." He stood back as the sergeant reached up to his face cursing and strode back to Jim, his whole body shaking as he took the boys bound hands gently, leading him out, "C'mon. Lets get back somewhere... safer. Then you can decide if you want to order me to fucking kill myself."

  
Jim had been holding himself together fairly well until this point. The sergeant had dragged him from the library, tied him up and taken him into the classroom, he’d had no idea what was going on until he heard Seb’s voice and worked out what must be happening. Jim hadn’t known it wasn’t real until the Sergeant pulled his trousers down and told him to fake it and scream because if he didn’t sell it then the man would rape him for real. It had still been terrifying and Jim felt violated and unbalanced, still shaking and wide eyed. He hadn’t been hurt too badly, he’d been hit a few times and the sergeant had rubbed his skin and molested him but he hadn’t been raped. Sebastian hadn’t known that though. Sebastian would have rather seen him hurt like that then tell Moriarty his _home address_ which was listed in a _fucking file_ his father could have accessed anytime if he really wanted it. Jim knew that it would have happened anyway, that even if Sebastian had caved they would have kept going just to teach him a lesson. But Sebastian _hadn’t_ stopped and that was fucking terrifying. They reached the hospital wing and Jim slid down in a corner and curled up while he took big ragged gulps of air and his heartrate accelerated. “Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.” Jim latched on to his distant anger because that was easier to deal with than his fear. “I can’t _believe_  you. Your pride is worth more to you than I am? Are you that fucking desperate for approval that you could just sit there and watch? I wouldn’t have even _been in there_ except _you_ had to go and run your fucking mouth. I thought you _hated_ him, you _know_ what he’s like and you still asked him to do this and you didn’t even _try_ to bail me out.” Jim was screaming by the end, covering his chest with his bound hands and lashing out verbally from his defensive position in the corner. “If it had been you I would have told them whatever they wanted to hear, I would have fucking _tried_ but your stupid pride got in the way. Well you did it, he’s fucking proud of you, you achieved what I never could and I hope it was fucking worth it.” Jim spat out and then curled into a tighter ball when John stormed in. Jim face was red and blotchy from screaming and trying not to get upset while he was still half way to a panic attack. He’d forgotten John was likely in tonight and that he’d overhear. “Fuck, Seb. Do I really mean so little to you?” Jim’s voice was quiet and tired as all of his anger drained away and gave way to despair.   
  
  
  
Sebastian watched him, still feeling dull and distant and nauseous. He watched as Jim slid to the floor and then went to the secret cupboard under Johns desk, pulling out a half empty bottle of whisky and a shot glass, pouring and gulping down two shots just to get rid of the taste of sick. "That wasn't about fucking pride." He said eventually. "Is that what you really want? For me to fucking break and let people know that if they want a secret from Sebastian Moran they just need to find Jimmy Moriarty and rough him up a bit?" He sighed and knocked back a third shot. "You're working for Magnussen. You know - when I first saw your arse, all untouched, I thought you might have been in on it. Helping your father fuck with me. Helping Magnussen fuck with my father. Is that what you want now? For me to just do everything in my fucking power, including damaging your reputation, my reputation, any chance we have of fucking surviving, just to save you getting fake-molested?" He shut up as John entered, looked at the two of them and then went straight to Jim, curled up on the floor.

Gently he looked the boy over, pressing a cool finger against the bruise on his hip and saying quietly, "Jim, are you alright? Do you want me to throw him out?"

Sebastian watched them sullenly, pouring out another shot and snapping, "You mean fucking everything to me, and your father bloody knew that."

  
If Jim only listened to his pretty words then he might have been convinced but he saw the boy’s actions as well and they didn’t match up with what he was saying. Sebastian knocked back shots and each one spelt out the guilt he was trying to cover up. “I hope your secrets are worth it to you then. I thought I was more important to you than that.” Jim paled when Sebastian brought up Magnussen, Seb had mentioned it before in the woods but he hadn’t known for sure. “Yeah? So what if I am? Apparently I can’t rely on anyone else around here. You don’t want me, you don’t trust me, what have we even got then, huh? You knew the whole time and you still let me trip over myself – run myself into the ground just to make you happy?” By now Jim was shouting again even though he hadn’t moved from his position on the floor. He ignored John as he came in, _“You didn’t know it was fake._ You thought it was real and you still let him do that to me over a practice exercise. Don’t _touch_ me!” Jim snarled and pulled his limbs in closer to his body, away from John’s hands. “No, I don’t want you to throw him out because he’d probably go out and bloody hang himself and of course that’s somehow my responsibility too!” He turned back and sneered at Sebastian, “My father bloody assumed that and you _proved him wrong.”_

  
"Do you really think I had any fucking power in there?" Sebastian spat back. "If you believe that then you're taking in his fucking lies as well. There's no bloody way you can blame me for the fact that _he_ decided to have you damn well raped. You really think if I'd given my address he would have stopped? Do you have any idea how fucking interrogations work?" He threw the shot glass at the floor and snarled at it, "Of course you damn well do. He subjects you to them. So fucking _think._ He was going to do exactly what he wanted to you in that room, what I said made no fucking difference. So it could have been you getting fucked while I snivelled and cried and spilt my guts out, or it was going to be you getting fucked while I shut the hell up and watched it all." He grabbed the whiskey bottle, staggering sideways a little as John stood up, slapped him around the head and took the bottle away. "I fucking do want you and I fucking do trust you. What I can't do is protect you while I'm duct-taped to the floor... which I asked him to... oh _shite..."_ He'd drunk too much, far too fast and was suddenly sick again, dry retching and heaving as John looked on in disgust.

  
“You could have _tried._ You should have fucking well _tried.”_ Jim flinched and covered his head with his bound wrists when the glass shattered near his body. “You couldn’t even watch,” Jim sneered back when Sebastian made himself out to be this bastion of stoicism. He’d been blindfolded but the sergeant hadn’t wasted any time describing everything to Jim, whispering in his ear. Jim noticed that he didn’t deny being perfectly happy to use Jim’s vulnerability with Magnussen to his own advantage. It was almost satisfying watching him get sick. He felt like everyone should hurt as much as he did. “Are you sorry?” He asked very very quietly. “Because I haven’t even heard you say it.”

  
"Tried _how?"_ Sebastian snarled while John's mouth dropped open in horror as he started to piece together what had happened. "By breaking? By debasing myself, in front of him and you? Did you want me to cry? To fucking spill my guts at him? Tell him all about me, and you, and us? I'm not sorry for what I did, because the only other fucking alternative was to watch your fathers face while the sergeant fucked you and I cried and told him I fucking love you-" And then he crumpled, falling into a little miserable shaking heap on the floor, arms wrapped around his body, tears leaking out as he rocked back and forwards, "Fuck I - I don't ever want to see that again."

  
“You could have fucking talked to me! You didn’t say one goddamn word to me the whole time I was there, not even when you thought he was hurting me. He _did_ hurt me and you cut yourself off from me because you’re too weak to handle it.” Jim wasn’t feeling strong, or steady, at the moment either. Jim flinched back hard enough to hit his head against the wall when Sebastian said that he loved him. “You don’t mean that.” It came out breathy, like the wind had been knocked out of him. Jim stood helplessly, wanting to run but he couldn’t, he wasn’t leaving the safety of the medical building with his hands still taped together. He was uncomfortable with Sebastian’s tears because he wasn’t feeling cruel enough to mock him for them or charitable enough to comfort him. Jim looked at John instead of Sebastian and wordlessly held out his hands so that the other man could cut away the tape.

  
John stared at them both, frozen in shock until Jim's movement made him step forward, stepping over the shaking Sebastian and cutting the tape free, gently peeling it away from Jim's arms. "I - I'm not sure what's happened." He said eventually. "But it looks like Sebastian's tried to play silly buggers with a bit more than he can cope with and you've both clearly been through far too much in one evening. Sebastian..." He looked at the huddled form on the floor and then sighed, stroking the top of Jim's head gently and then helping him up and onto the bed before barking, "Cadet Moran get _up._ Get up right now, apologise for the fucking godawful _mess_ you've made of this evening, for the pain you've put your superior through, and then clean this fucking sick off my floor. You know where the mop is."

  
Jim tried to shy away from John’s hands but he had been watching Sebastian and hadn’t been quick enough. He was just having an off day. John got a grip on him and lifted Jim in the air and that got his heart racing and his face went pale but he had enough self-control to keep from lashing out and hurting him. He didn’t want to be touched, he didn’t want to be picked up and carried again, couldn’t stand the loss of control. But he managed without hurting John or getting sick all over himself so that was something. Jim still flinched when John barked out orders, but he watched with some interest too. It was an interesting approach to take but Jim thought it might work. “I’m okay. Just bruised a little. No internal damage.” Jim swallowed back bile and gripped the blankets hard. “Seb’s having a bad reaction to psychological manipulation and torture. He’s uninjured.” Jim’s father was good at that, leaving behind devastation without leaving marks. “There was some – gaslighting? Involved. Everyone’s fine.” Jim took the bottle from where John had left it and took a drink.

  
John gave him a little glare and waved a hand to encompass both of them as Sebastian shakily stood up, "Everything is not fine. Believe me I've dealt with the aftermath of your father's little 'teaching' sessions before. You stay there, don't worry, I won't touch you again. Sleep when you need, eat when you need and we can have a quick talk through when you're ready and if you want to discuss things. And YOU."

He shouted at Sebastian, who saluted almost on automatic, turned to Jim and stared at the floor as he mumbled, "Fuck I'm sorry for fucking everything up completely." John glared at him until he went and got the mop, filling the bucket and starting to methodically clean the floor up.

John sighed and rubbed his forehead tiredly. "Don't let him have any more alcohol. Gods sake the mess that man leaves behind him. It's probably best if Sebastian sleeps in the office tonight, unless you'd rather he was as far away from you as possible."

  
Jim had dealt with the aftermath too, too many times and usually alone. He wasn’t impressed. “It’s not personal.” Jim muttered and looked away when John assured Jim he wouldn’t touch him again. Jim didn’t think he’d be sleeping or eating anytime soon, he still felt half sick and coiled up like a spring. “He’s a bastard. He fucks with your head, believe me I get it.” Jim sort of accepted Sebastian’s apology – it was the best he could do so soon after the incident. Jim glanced away from John to watch Sebastian clean while he thought. “…no, he can stay. But maybe get him his own bed, if you have one? Just a camp bed would do.” Jim did not was to be alone right now and he was still feeling skittish around John because he was an adult and held a lot of power over Jim. He might have been angry at Sebastian still but he trusted him enough to let him sleep in the same room as him. Jim still couldn’t share a bed right now though. He took another longer swig from the bottle and grimaced a little.

  
"I know it's not personal." John went to get the camp bed from the office and Sebastian looked down at the bucket full of sick and dry-heaved again. He stayed silent as John left, wiping the tears away with the back of his hand, and reflecting that it had been a long time since he'd cried. Biting his lip he muttered, "I did mean it..." picking up the bucket and heading to the sink, washing it away and spraying bleach on the floor to disguise the smell.

  
Jim sighed and hid his face between his knees where he pulled them up to his chest. He couldn’t deal with this right now. Sebastian was too fragile at the moment and needed delicate handling. Jim didn’t have the emotional or psychological resources to handle that right now. So, embarrassingly enough he took a page out of John’s book and just gave him a hug. “Don’t ever do anything so stupid again. He might have seriously hurt you, dumbass.”

  
Sebastian stiffened in confusion as Jim's arms wrapped around him, sitting on the side of the bed and letting his head drop against Jim's shoulder. His hair was damp with sweat and he was still shivering, but at least he'd stopped throwing up. "'M... fuck... I really didn't mean that to happen." He muttered into Jim's shoulder, not bothering to move as John came back with the camp bed and struggled with the unfolding of it, pleased to see them both in contact at least.

  
“Yeah, I know… I’m okay. I’m not hurt. I don’t want you hurting yourself. It’s alright.” It wasn’t, at all, but he could pretend for Sebastian. Jim reached his very limited capacity for comfort and patted Sebastian’s back awkwardly before pulling away. “Will you be able to sleep now?” Jim couldn’t help watching John’s movements, tracking him so that he couldn’t be snuck up on.

  
"Not really alright..." Sebastian sighed, sniffled and stood up as John finished fighting with the camp-bed, taking the offered blankets and, again mechanically, starting to make the bed. He was fighting with this unpleasant new discovery about himself - still not sure whether he'd been weak of strong. One thing was clear, he needed to learn to bend more. He should have been playing Moriarty - giving him enough information to stop him hurting Jim, yet not enough to condemn them both. He'd been right when he said he'd had no control in the room - but that shouldn't be something to be proud of, it should be something he should work on changing. The the thought of sheer amount of effort required to steal himself to do that - to bend a little, inch at a time, working Moriarty as hard as he could, almost made him collapse and wail. Clearly though, he was in no fit state to be Jim's at the moment. "Yeah, I'll sleep." He lied.

  
Jim settled back on his bed, staring up at the ceiling. “I want you to wake me if you need anything or if you wake up during the night.” Jim knew how bad the nightmares could be and while he wasn’t exactly sure what he’d do, he remembered wishing there was someone to go to when he’d had a bad dream as a child. Jim was nervous over Sebastian’s apathy but hopefully it would sort itself out. He just wasn’t equipped to deal with this in any way as an emotionally stunted teenager talking to another emotionally stunted teenager. Jim turned and watched John, swallowing back his misgivings about bringing the topic up at all. “I thought you said that he was going to leave me alone. The Sergeant.” Jim didn’t want to be at this school anymore. He’d never wanted to come in the first place but now he was really feeling desperate. If he didn’t think Mags would hunt him down on principle he might think about trying to run when he left for Christmas.

  
"I meant it." John said grimly. "I'll see to it that he loses his job for tonight's little stunt." It was a big thing to promise and as soon as he said it John realised that he had to make it come true, otherwise Jim would never trust him again. Sebastian lay down on the bed, flat on his back, closing his eyes and knowing he wouldn't sleep a wink, not with the memories of Jim's muffled cries and screams echoing in his head.

  
Jim nodded but didn’t believe him – no one kept their promises it turned out and he couldn’t even really blame them for it. It wasn’t usually for lack of wanting, but for lack of power, and Jim was tired of not having power. He muttered a goodnight and when John left them and turned down the lights Jim sat for a few minutes, just listening to his and Sebastian’s breathing in the dark. “I am sorry too, for my part in this. He told me that if I wasn’t convincing enough he would do it for real. But I wasn’t in on it.” Jim felt like that needed to be cleared up explicitly or Sebastian would always suspect him.

  
John closed the door, took a breath and said "right..." then headed straight to his own bedroom to call Magnussen.

Sebastian lay in the dark, wondering when Jim could fall asleep so he could move, and startled a little at the voice from the darkness. "What could you have done?" He murmured, "You had your mouth taped up. You couldn't have told me. You're a damn good actor." He added bleakly.

  
Jim didn’t really know what to say to that so they sat in silence for another minute. “…Am I still coming to Christmas with you? You – uh, know that Mags wants me to go. I can stay out of your way if you don’t want to see me.” He was worried about what consequences this might have for their relationship and he couldn’t help but try and cover his bases. “I’m sorry. For all of this shit. I wouldn’t be doing it if I really didn’t have to.” Moriarty was a menace and Jim wanted him gone. All he had to do was this one job.

  
"You really are working for Mags, aren't you?" Sebastian managed, just as bleakly, still not quite ready to face the huge terribly crushing reality of what had actually just occured. But enough spirit rose up in him to spit out, "Fucking hell, you think I'd leave you here? After that? You're coming back to the Moran Manor to spend the holiday eating good food, relaxing in safe surroundings and maybe if I manage not to fuck up - thinking about - oh god - oh fuck - Jim..." he took a gulping breath and started crying again. "I'm a fucking real bastard, aren't I? Why the hell would you want to hang around with a fucked up bully like me but I couldn't Jim - I couldn't break, not in front of _him,_ not when he knew you were my weakness..."

  
“Yeah, I am. He made my da bring me here when he got custody after my mum – passed. Magnussen is the only thing keeping him from outright killing me. He made John my new guardian. He’ll take care of me as long as I do whatever he asks.” Jim couldn’t bring himself to mention Mags’s promise to have his father killed, admitting to asking for murder wasn’t really in his best interest. He sighed happily, imagining enjoying his break even if he would be doing some yet unknown work for Mags and trying not to get caught. Then Sebastian started crying and Jim got out of bed quickly and sat by Sebastian’s head and started petting his stubbly little hair. Jim’s mother had done that once when he was sick and had a fever. He was pretty sure she had anyway. The fever had been very high, technically he could have hallucinated it but he didn’t think so. “Shhhh, you’re going to wake John. It’s – you’re fine. I shouldn’t have said all that shit to you earlier. It’s their fault, not yours.”

  
Sebastian took a breath and managed to calm down, feeling incredibly silly for loosing it like that and... was Jim stroking his head? It felt good, and he felt his muscles finally, finally, starting to relax, unclenching and calming. "Course you should've said it. It was true. I fucked up." He gave a sigh and then rolled over, wishing he could draw Jim onto the camp bed and cuddle him. "I - I don't suppose you'll ever let me touch you again..." he mumbled, "But if he pulls that shit again I-I'll do it. I'll just give him what he wants, hold back as much as I can. Try - try and break a little bit. Won't put you through that again just for being an arse." His hand carefully and gently stroked Jim's hair back and he whispered quietly and miserably, "I still fucking want you. Still fucking want to be yours. But... yeah."

  
Jim felt no small measure of relief when Sebastian finally relaxed and was able to stop crying. “You’re only sixteen, he’s trained for at least that many years and he’s creative enough to be very good at what he does. No one can predict how they’ll react in a traumatic situation. You didn’t make it worse.” Sebastian starting stroking the stubble on his head and Jim took a breath and made a conscious decision to stay still and allow it even if being touched set the hair on the back of his neck on end. He didn’t want to reject Sebastian right now when he was already struggling. “I’m working on it, yeah? Just give me a few days. I don’t – really get it. He didn’t hurt me, he barely touched me. It’s fucking irritating, reacting like this over nothing.” It had been pretend, unlike Sebastian he’d known it was pretend. Still, he was affected. Jim shushed the other boy again and put more pressure in his little pets, “It’s not going to happen again. Don’t worry about that. Just try and sleep.”

  
He felt Jim pause and tense up as he stroked him and moved his hand away, feeling anger, "Look. Ugh, this is not fucking the time. You don't have to do this for Mags you know? You can walk back to the barracks right now and I'll still let you crash my dad's over Christmas and, fucking fool that I am, I'd probably still let you fuck me as well. He's spent your whole damn life hurting you, and it's not nothing. Just... just go to sleep. Stop making me hurt you and I'll promise to stop managing to find ways to hurt you as well, yeah?"

  
Jim smirked even though he felt that odd mixture of shame and rejection that he felt whenever he’d not managed to hide something like this from Sebastian. It was something deeply rooted because he’d learned early that you needed to hide pain or it would just get that much worse for you when you exposed a weakness. It also made him feel insufficient, that he couldn’t tolerate being touched right now. Still, “Pot meet kettle? Like you’re any better about admitting anything, at least I go to the fucking hospital wing.” Jim joked quietly and kept petting Sebastian’s hair, content to sit where he was. “I’ll agree if you try and sleep. I’m not going anywhere.”

  
"Heh. I guess not. We're both screwed up." This was important though, and Sebastian wanted to make it clear, curling up in the direction of Jim and looking him in the eyes. "I mean it. I don't want to hurt you - well - not in a way that makes you miserable. Don't try and fucking act through it. Otherwise it'll just fuck me up when I do find out. And I'll try thinking before acting once in a while." He closed his eyes, trying to still his breathing and at least drift into half-sleep.

  
It was dark but Jim could still see Sebastian’s eyes catch the little bit of light when he looked at him. “Okay,” Jim promised. He’d try anyway. It wasn’t in his nature but he could see that it did hurt Sebastian to do it so he would try and be better. Sebastian seemed to doze off and Jim sat there for a while so he could continue petting his head and by the time morning came around Jim had fallen asleep sitting on the floor with his head and arms pillowed across Sebastian’s chest.

 

* * *

 

  
Sebastian half woke at night, feeling Jim's weight accross him and curling an arm over him protectively, tugging the blanket down so that Jim wouldn't get too cold. With the warmth of the other body he found it much easier to sleep, and drifted off a lot deeper, not noticing as John came in and gently shook jim awake, "Jim? Um... Magnussen wants to see you."

  
He startled awake, feeling confused and disoriented until he remembered what had happened. It was a little embarrassing to wake up like that but John just looked concerned. “What happened with Mags? Is everything okay? You called him?” Jim made an educated guess, based on what John had said last night about getting the sergeant sacked. He spoke quietly so he wouldn’t wake Sebastian and carefully disentangled himself from the other boy as he rubbed sleep from his eyes.

  
"Magnussen is fine, yes I did call him, and he's asked to speak to you. I - don't think you're in trouble." He looked at Jim worriedly, "Can you face him? If you want some tea first, or a chat, I don't feel I'm being a wonderful foster father for you. I mean you did spend last night being given a simulated rape in front of your boyfrien- uh, sorry. I wouldn't presume on your relationship - I just..." He stopped, breathed, and finished, "I could look after you better."

  
Jim shrugged and muttered, “tea would be nice.” If only because he wanted to put off seeing Magnussen and wanted to wash the taste of last night’s whiskey out of his mouth. Jim stood and walked into John’s office, taking a look around while he waited. He’d never really been in here before and it was interesting looking at what John kept in here. “You’re fine,” Jim excused when John came in a minute later with the tea. “As my guardian I mean. You’re already better than anyone else I’ve had so…” He shrugged. “You know I was already placed in foster care a couple of times. I’m sure it’s in my file. Never for very long but –“ He shrugged again, not knowing how to explain that empty feeling that came from imposing on another family when yours couldn’t get their shit together. “My mum killed herself, you know. That’s how I ended up here.” Jim’s voice was conversational, he kept it casual because he didn’t want John to think he was looking for pity. “Sometimes I think I hate her but then – she never had an easy time of it. Doesn’t seem fair to her after all she did for me, you know? But yeah you’re – you’re the best I’ve had so don’t go beating yourself up too much.” Jim muttered and sipped at his tea, glancing out the window as he enjoyed the flavors.

  
"The best so far really, really doesn't give me a very high standard I'm afraid." John sighed, making the tea and pouring two cups, shaking his head as he heard Sebastian start to snore. "I'm pleased you've made up with Moran. The boy is an entitled brat with a head made of wood, but he's not unintelligent and he does genuinely seem to want to do well by you. I don't like him, but he's not necessarily evil, just... very, very misguided. And violent. Magnussen did say he would think very seriously about getting rid of the sergeant by the way. I did the best I could, but I honestly think he's thinking in very different criteria to me."

  
Jim shrugged and glanced at John warily, “You don’t mind then? That your – ward, or whatever I am, that I’m gay? It doesn’t bother you?” It didn’t seem like that because John seemed fairly supportive but Jim wouldn’t make any assumptions. He wrapped his thin little hands around the mug and spoke quietly, “I don’t want to do this anymore. Work for Mags or be at this school.” He took a breath and desperately tried to squash down any hopes that he might have. “Do – do you think that you could pull me out? As my guardian you decide where I go to school, don’t you?”

  
John looked at him in amazement and shook his head, "Do I mind? Dear god, of course not. Not at all. I mind that you're abused and mistreated, but I certainly don't mind that you fancy men. It would be highly hypocritical for one thing." He sighed sadly at Jim's words, giving a nod and a wry smile, "If there was a way I could get you out of here believe me, they wouldn't see you for dust. Unfortunately that's beyond my power. I'm fostering you, but foster care can be removed very quickly, and Magnussen has more than enough power to accuse me of something to get you taken from my care." It was a wrench letting Jim down, but he knew he had to stay truthful in order to keep Jim's trust.

  
He nodded unhappily with John’s pronouncement but he’d expected as much. It’s what he would do if he wanted to manipulate an abused teen into complying with his demands. “Don’t tell him I said that then.” Magnussen scared Jim, he knew that if he could have someone important like his father murdered then it would be an easy thing to make a kid like him disappear and just find someone else to replace him. Jim drank down the rest of his tea to avoid thinking of the anxiety building in his gut when he thought of the meeting they were about to have. He did file away John’s hypocritical comment though. What was most important was that he wasn’t homophobic like his father. “Sorry you’ve been put in such a shit situation. I know I’m not an easy kid to look after.” Jim stood, leaving his mug on the table and gave John a little nod. “I’ll be leaving then. Thank you for the tea. If Seb wakes up before I get back then ask him to pack my trunk for me?”

  
"Of course I won't tell him." John answered, watching him drink the tea, "You've been a great kid - it's everyone else who's being a shit about you at the moment. I'll get Moran to pack your stuff up, do you want me to give him a slap as well?" It was said half jokingly, but he did mean it. “He should be able to get through them."

  
Jim nodded and checked on Sebastian briefly before he left for Magnussen’s office. He knocked on the door quietly before cautiously opening it. The man was sitting there, looking inscrutable as always and Jim tried to hide his nerves. “You wanted to see me?”

  
Magnussen looked up at him, remaining blank and severe for a few seconds before his lips stretched into a smile. "I hear you have an invite to the Moran family Christmas. Well done. You are doing very well." He stood up. "Come here. I hear also, from your foster father, that you have been treated abominably by a member of my staff. As you have done so well, I am willing to offer you a favour in return." He came around the desk and stalked around Jim, two fingers dragging deliberately across his lower back. "The Sergeant. One favour. What would you like me to do to him? I can cut off his cock if you'd like?"

  
Jim stood cautiously, not wanting to take a seat when he hadn’t been offered one. “My relationship with Moran is developing and solidifying.” He was relieved that Magnussen was not angry at him for last night, he had been angry before when Jim had problems with his father. Jim shivered in revulsion as Magnussen touched him over where some of his bruises from last night were. He had to think about the favor. “I want him gone. He shouldn’t be placed in a position of authority over minors. Preferably he’d be placed on a sex offender registry. He couldn’t work here if you did that, right?” That seemed like the best use of his favor. Jim would still have to see him and deal with his anger if he was mutilated.

  
Magnussen raised an eyebrow, "Such an honourable and legal young man. I can of course have him put on a registry, and he won't work here, or anywhere else, ever again. When you return from your Christmas break you will find him gone." He moved away from Jim, "When you return from Christmas I also want something from you." Going back to his desk he opened a drawer, pulling out a small hard drive. "I would like you to go into Moran's study, find his computer, save as much on it as you can onto this. Particularly things labelled "Operation Somerset" - but ideally as much as possible. It will be Christmas, he will be drunk, you are his son's friend. Do this, and we will talk further about your father."

  
Jim sneered in response to Magnussen’s criticism, “I’m _not._ But I haven’t got time to watch him and make sure he behaves – I might as well let the state do it for me. Kill him if you want. Cut off his cock and let him bleed to death, I don’t care. But I want my father dead and two of your staff dying around the same time does draw unnecessary suspicion. I just don’t want him near Sebastian again.” Jim listened to Magnussen and took the little flash drive. “How will I get into his computer? It’s going to be password protected – files encrypted – the whole nine yards. I don’t know that much about computers, how to hide my presence on his computer…” This seemed like a terrifically bad idea and Jim was not enthusiastic about it in the least.

  
"You don't want him near Sebastian?" Magnussen's eyebrows rose high on his forehead but he left it there, filing the information away in his mind-palace. "Augustus Moran is not a secret agent, he is a government minister. Two weeks ago, many folders of sensitive government information hit the new headlines because they had been left on a laptop left on a bus. There will be passwords. Work them out. Then copy - right click, hmm? Ctrl-C? And paste onto this hard-drive. If he finds you stammer and tell him you got lost looking for porn. If he ever bothers to have someone check his computer and they do find it has been tampered with it will be far too late."

  
Jim rolled his eyes and suddenly felt brave enough to talk back to Magnussen, “Yeah I don’t want him near him, do you know how hard he’s made it on me? Getting close to Sebastian was challenging enough during the time frame but when he already had a possessive bastard using him it just got harder. Or did you not know that one of your staff has been using your prized student for his own sexual gratification?” Either way, Magnussen shouldn’t see Jim as soft – he just wanted a potential rival out of the way. Of course. Jim huffed a breath as he listened to Magnussen’s directions, “Yeah, alright I’m not _that_ dense. If they aren’t encrypted I shouldn’t have any trouble getting in so long as I can work out the passwords.” Sebastian might even tell them to him if he decided to help Jim. He wouldn’t hold his breath though.

  
"Of course I knew." Magnussen said quietly, his voice still sounding calm and measured, although one eyebrow quirked up in surprise at Jim's response and he looked pleased that the boy actually seemed to be acting like a proper agent he could trust rather than just a horny scared teenager out of his depth. "Sebastian Moran is best controlled with a fist and by his cock. He despises me, only natural, so I had to find someone else to take command of him. And don't look at me like that - I'm sure you have already worked out for yourself the best way to guide that boy and it isn't by his brain." He nodded at Jim's words. "Well - you will go, you will collect this information for me, and I will make sure the sergeant does not return. Enjoy your Christmas break, I know the Moran's hold very lavish dinners, and the food will be good for you."

  
Jim raised an eyebrow but didn’t comment on Magnussen’s assessment of the other boy. Sebastian was controlled by orders and by his ego. If you held him, told him he was special, petted his hair quietly like the way Jim had done last night then he was more much more likely to respond to you long term. Somehow while Jim was fumbling for a hold he could get on the other boy Sebastian had been falling in love with him and only time would tell if it would last or not. Jim was rather uncomfortable when Magnussen mentioned fattening him up – Sebastian had made a similar comment but it was far less creepy somehow. He stood and gave Magnussen a nod and said goodbye before he turned and left. Jim hated to be in the man’s presence and right now he just wanted to go back to Sebastian and John. He was hungry and the mess hall wasn’t open during break so he was hoping that John actually lived on campus – it made sense since he was the only doctor and would need to be available for emergencies. Maybe he could talk John into letting him cook something up for breakfast. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Simulated rape, threats of violence


	12. Just the Usual Fuckery

Sebastian woke up to find Jim gone and a very disapproving John in his place, who snapped at him and told him off and then made him clean the rest of the sick away. After that, he went straight back to the dormitories, packing up both his and Jim's belongings, and also filching some food from breakfast, coming back to John's room with two neatly packed canvess bags and a napkin full of food which he laid out on the table, looking anxious as Jim entered. John looked at Jim quickly to check he was alright and then sighed, rolling his eyes. "Sebastian you look like a puppy that's just widdled on the carpet. Both of you eat and then go and have a bit of a break without people continuously hitting you. Jim - I'm down on your contact form as next of kin, if I receive any phone-calls from Moran about you requiring medical attention over the break I will be most displeased, understood?"

  
Jim gave a bit of a smirk, the puppy comment was a little funny – mostly because it was accurate. He rolled his eyes a little as John lectured him, “Believe me, no one will be more displeased than I if I end up in the hospital again.” He hesitated briefly and then took the plunge, “I can find my own financing for the trip if I need to.” Jim was pretty good at stealing, he didn’t have any money but somehow it would seem – weird to take money for either John or Sebastian but he would need to get a train ticket.

  
Sebastian gave him a confused sort of look, "What? What financing? Driver's coming in an hour and if we ever want to venture out of the warmth of the damn house I'll take my dad's card. Here, get into your uniform and try and look less... bruised. I've just told dad you're a mate from school - if he asks who your parents are just say 'you wouldn't know them' all he wants to know is whether they'll support is bloody politics. Right. I've got all your stuff, Watson's done the dad thing. Let's fuck off home."

  
Jim gave him a look and just held back the “you have a driver?” comment. It never occurred to him that they would be getting picked up, the school was so remote. He started pulling on his uniform then, suddenly feeling very out of his depth and feeling too tired to do anything other than do whatever Sebastian told him. “Does your family know – I mean are we just going to be mates on this trip or…” Jim didn’t know what the diplomatic way to ask Sebastian if his parents knew he was gay or that he was with Jim – if that would be okay even. He was plenty happy not to talk to Sebastian's father about his parents or living situation. Like it wasn’t going to be obvious enough he was poor and underfed and bruised like some sort of rescue Sebastian brought home from the dog pound. Sebastian said they had to leave and Jim frowned sadly at the food before grabbing his pack and the grapes and left the rest. He didn’t suppose he’d be able to eat in the car but the grapes wouldn’t make a mess and maybe he’d be able to eat enough of them before getting in the car to stop the ache in his stomach. “Goodbye John,” Jim muttered and even managed a smile for the other man before following Sebastian out the door.

  
"What? No, my dad doesn't know, he thinks we're just mates, but don't worry. The house is massive, we can get into each others rooms easily enough, as long as we don't physically shag over the fruit-bowl when the guests are present I doubt he'll give a damn." He scowled as Jim left the food and grabbed the napkin as they headed out of the door, towards a sleek black car and formally dressed driver waiting outside. "Look I know you think you can survive on three grapes and a crust of bread but it's a long drive. At least try to eat a bit more during it, yeah? Dad's always going on at me to bring mates home - mostly because he wants to contacts, but also because he wants to have an excuse to get rid of me when the talks get serious and 'fuck off and have wank' sounds a bit patronising."

He nodded at the driver, who nodded back, shaking his head at the state of them both, "Get into a fight Seb?"

Sebastian flipped him off and swung into the car, leaning back and sighing, "Just the usual fuckery. Wake me up when we get home. This is Jim, by the way, if he needs a piss or more food or anything, stop off at a service station for him."

  
“I think I can survive on three grapes and a crust of bread because I _can.”_ Jim said snidely but he took the napkin from Sebastian possessively even as he gave the car a wary look. “Are you sure I can eat in here? It’s nice. I can be careful about crumbs.” He’d never been in anything so nice and the class difference suddenly left him feeling self-conscious. Jim settled into the car though and carefully looked over the scone, grapes and few scraps of bacon Seb had salvaged for him. Mostly Jim was just looking forward to sleeping – he’d dozed off in an uncomfortable position last night and his sleep hadn’t bene especially restful.

  
"Just eat." Sebastian said, leaning back with his eyes closed, "Don't worry about the mess, it does get cleaned."

The driver looked at Jim in the rear-view mirror and gave a grin, "Don't worry Mister Jim, the car gets done over regularly. Trust me after the things Master Augustus leaves in the back a few crumbs will be no trouble."

Sebastian made a face and snapped out, "For fucks sake Basil, do I look like I want to know what my _dad_ gets up to in here when I'm trying to sleep? I spent last night being beaten up while duct-taped to the floor and being forced to watch Jim here being tortured alright?" The driver rolled his eyes but didn't reply, giving Jim another smirk in the mirror.

  
“It sounds so melodramatic when you put it like that…” Jim grumbled as he picked his food over quickly. He grinned though as Sebastian seemed embarrassed by his father’s sex life. “It’s okay, my mum and I lived in one room flats our whole lives. Zero privacy for anyone.” Jim watched the driver warily and frowned a little as he smiled at him. He couldn’t tell what his motive was.

  
"I don't want to think about _anyone's_ sex life. I'm trying to sleep." Sebastian grumbled, still with his eyes closed.

The driver grinned and stayed silent for about an hour, then quietly said to Jim, "Alright, what's up? You aren't one of those posh wankers - your eyes popped when you saw the car. Scholarship or something is it?"

  
Jim had polished up the entire breakfast by that point and was feeling a lot less hungry. He could wait until they got wherever they were going. When the driver spoke to him Jim got his back up and glared back. “Yes I’m poor what amazing powers of deductive reasoning! Yes I’m poor, no I don’t want to talk about it. Yes I am on scholarship. Is your curiosity satisfied or do you need something else to gossip with the other help about?” Jim wanted to sleep too but had to work out the best way to do it. Normally he’d just press against Sebastian but he didn’t actually want to give the driver anything else to gossip about so instead he leaned his head against the door and closed his eyes.

  
The driver raised an eyebrow and gave another grin, "Calm down lad, this isn't about gossip. There are just people keeping an eye on the folks that end up in Augustus Moran's house and I happen to be one of them. I've nothing against you - scholarship myself to Westminster. You have a good time at Moran's, and rest assured, anything that happens in this car is all hush-hush from Moran." Sebastian started to do a very fake-sounding snore and he instantly shut up.

  
Jim was eternally tired of other people always telling him to calm down like he was a small child or a very excitable dog. He was almost _sixteen._ “Thank you then, I appreciate your concern.” Jim muttered back in a voice that made it very clear that he didn’t. Jim glared a little and then decided to be a bit of a bastard and stretched his legs across the seats so his boots could rest in Sebastian’s lap and his head could lean against the door. “If you’ll excuse me I’m rather tired.”

  
"Who are you working for then?" Sebastian said drowzily. "Jim - who did he say he was working for?" He gently stroked the legs in his lap and then murmured, "There's a cushion under the seat, and a wrap... somewhere. S'comfy. Da doesn't have whores in here any more but he does nap between appointments."

With that he dozed off again and the driver smirked and added, "There's champagne behind you as well, in a cooler. It's a nice car."

  
Jim frowned and shook his head, “He works for your dad?” Jim didn’t really care if there were other people like him at the party as long as he could get what he needed. He didn’t care if Moran lost everything. Jim was already falling asleep and he didn’t want a blanket or a pillow or champagne. “I’m too young.” He groused like that actually ever bothered him before.

  
"Wanker." Sebastian said sleepily, with no real indication as to who he was talking about. He woke as the car drove up into the large gravel driveway, completely forgetting the conversation from earlier and giving Jim a small shake, "C'mon Jim, I want to show you my place. And your room. And how to get from your room to my room." It was late afternoon by now, and the lights were on in the house, a butler having a cigarette outside in the company of a rather giggly young waitress, both of whom straightened up as the car arrived and tried to pretend they were meant to be there. As well as a few cars in the drive there was a large gold-painted jaguar and Seb's mouth dropped open as he saw it. 

Jim came awake rather slowly and nodded sleepily as he opened his eyes and his jaw dropped. “What the fuck… I mean I knew your da was influential but I didn’t know he was that rich…” He scooted out of the car following hot on Seb’s heels, not wanting to get left behind or lost in this huge house that he so obviously didn’t belong in. “How to get from my room to your room is very important.” Jim agreed quietly and rolled his eyes at how obvious Sebastian could be. In a way it was soothing.

  
"She's fucking here, that has to be here, oh my fucking god he'll have a coronary." Sebastian muttered exitedly, heading to the house and grabbing Jim's hand as he turned to the car boot, "Don't worry about the bags, someone will have them bought up, look, look at that." He waved at the car proudly, now almost buzzing with excitement. "She's here. Nobody else would own a bloody awful car that... gold. C'mon." Letting go of Jim's hand he hurried inside, straightening his uniform as he went. Scurrying past the entrance hall he strode into a large lounge, following the sound of voices, managing to rip off a smart salute before being completely engulfed by a tall and curvaceous woman in a shimmering gold dress surrounded by a large white fur stole and a huge gust of perfume.

Everything about her seemed large and determined to be made larger, "Sebastian! You've grown so much, you look _wonderful_ my darling, who's been hitting you. Tell your father and he'll have them shot."

Behind her were a collection of rather awkward looking guests - and an irritated looking man who looked a lot like an older and greying Sebastian and snapped, "For gods sake sit _down_ Seraphine, the boy's only just arrived."

  
Jim didn’t understand what Sebastian was muttering about or why he was practically running through the house until he saw her. This had to be Sebastian’s mother. Jim didn’t think they looked very much alike but he could see it all the same. He hung back towards the doorway, feeling happy for his friend and the obvious delight he showed at her appearance. Jim also felt a deep pang of loss seeing them embrace. His mother couldn’t have been more different from the woman standing before him, she had been tiny like him and thin as a rake. She’d never have worn anything so lovely as that and Jim missed her fiercly for a heartbeat as he hung back in the doorway, already stepping away so that he could find someone to show him to his room. He didn’t want to intrude and suddenly he didn’t want Sebastian’s mother to see him when he looked so grubby and half starved. 

Seraphine gave a laugh, a genuine laugh of delight that her son was here and that her ex-husband was so angry, and then let Sebastian go, embracing Jim with a gush of, "And who is this, another dashing young cadet from that terrible school he sends you to?" Her necklace banged against Jim's face and she moved it with a "Terribly sorry, darling, do enjoy your stay. Ignore Augustus and if you fuck my son over they'll never find your remains darling." She gave him an air kiss and gently stroked his head with a fond smile before ushering him into the room.

"I don't 'send' him there, he wants to go and I can't persuade him to go somewhere sensible, like Eton."

Seraphine had her arm around Jim's shoulders as she indicated the guests with a hand covered in chunky rings, "These are the Holmes's darling. They've arrived a day early, Mrs Holmes has some frightfully important conference nearby and wanted to stay the night here. Didn't Mycroft go to your school?"

She gave a mischevious little smirk as Mycroft forced a smile and replied, "I... used to. Yes. It's... lovely to meet you again Sebastian. And this is?"

  
Jim couldn’t help skittering back as the woman embraced him, still not used to being touched so familiarly and especially not by strangers. She was… overwhelming and Jim had never met anyone like her. Sebastian must take after his father. Jim took note of Augustus’ comment about Eton as he looked the man over. It was startling how much Sebastian took after him. He did perk up in interest when she announced the Holmes and he looked them both over curiously. Jim wanted to ask Mycroft – but this was entirely the wrong setting and honestly he wasn’t even sure what he’d ask. _Please tell me how you survived being Magnussen’s trained dog_  seemed like it might not fly with the imperious boy. Jim wasn’t sure how old the man was as he seemed to have aged poorly. Jim ducked closer to Sebastian, looking for protection from the boy’s mother and all of her touching. He did give off the appearance of a skittish stray staying near the stranger that fed him scraps. “Jim Moriarty.” The name was a rather unfortunate way to introduce himself but there was no helping that.

  
"Jim who? Moriarty?" Augustus looked at him suspiciously, "I've heard the name 'Moriarty.'"

Sebastian waved a hand with a grin and a "He's nobody you'd know, nothing to do with politics. Relax."

Mycroft gave Jim a hard look and a voice snapped out from the corner, "James Moriarty is a teacher at Magnussen's school. He has a wife who died recently and one son. Illegitimate." There was an embarrassed pause and everyone turned to look at Mycroft's younger brother, curled up on a single sofa with a thick book and a scowl, looking like a large spider. Mycroft looked furious, Augustus disgusted.

Seraphine rolled her eyes and headed over to the dresser, pouring out a large glass of something, "Well done Sherlock, what a wonderful place to air dirty laundry. Sebastian darling do your or your guest want a drink?"

  
“They were never married, that’s what illegitimate means you ingrate.” Jim sneered back at the lanky boy. “My _mother_ died recently but she was never tied to him. I’ll thank you to observe the distinction.” He was definitely not used to these kinds of things where people got embarrassed over bastards and pretty much dealt with the problem the way he always would – by sneering and making the bully out to be an idiot and sometimes with fighting and kicking. But he knew enough not to hit the other boy. “I think I’d like that drink.” Jim muttered quietly to Sebastian.

  
"Just get back to whatever you're reading, Sherlock." Mycroft snapped, while Augustus looked suspiciously at Jim.

Sebastian gave a groan and went over to his mother, leaning against her. "Two drinks. Thank's for coming." She poured out two generous measures of red wine and handed the glasses to him with a smile, murmuring something in his ear that made him blush scarlet, scooting back to Jim with the drinks while Mycroft and Augustus started up a stilted conversation about the weather, clearly trying to hide mutual embarrassment. Sebastian handed Jim the glass and clinked it with his own, "Less than ten minutes and he's rattled. Personal best. My mum likes you."

  
“I have a gift.” Jim sipped at the wine and it was one of the best things he’d ever tasted – worlds away from the boxed stuff his mom kept in the fridge that he’d filch on a bad day. “Just wait till he hears I stapled your ear to your head when we met.” He didn’t like the looks he was getting from Augustus or Mycroft but chocked it up to his introduction and obvious shabbiness. After the awkward conversation continued painfully and slowly for another few minutes Jim leaned over to Sebastian and muttered, “You know it would almost be worth it to let Mags put me in the ground, fucks sake I feel half dead already.” Jim grinned and took another drink of his wine. He was having a hard time remembering to pace himself.

  
Serephine had pulled out her phone half an hour ago, and Sebastian smirked, leaning over to murmur in Jim's ear, "Watch this..." standing up he headed over to Sherlock, looming over him and knocking the book off the chair, "Alright Holmes the twattier? Don't read, be social! Any reason you had for making my mate look bad then, or shall I just put that down to you really liking the idea of me smacking you around later?"

  
Jim rolled his eyes and tugged at Sebastian’s sleeve, “Down boy, I can handle my own fights or do I need to remind you? Weren’t you just saying last night that you were going to stop bullying people, hmmm? Besides, he wasn’t insulting me, just telling the truth.” Jim gave Sherlock a look that made it clear he’d regret it if the boy made him regret his generosity and calling off his guard dog.

  
"Was I? Fuck I don't remember." But the reminder of last night slammed down a momentary block on his high of happiness and excitment and wine and he rubbed a hand over his face, "Fuck, just... just felt glad to be home and away from all that shit and now there's more shit." He grinned and wrapped an arm around Jim's waist, bending low to whisper in Jim's ear while Sherlock scowled at them both, "Look at my dad and Holmes. They're both so bloody miserable. And they have to stay here being miserable together for another hour at least before dinner. Let's fuck off and find the bedrooms."

  
Jim may have felt more comfortable standing in Sebastian’s vicinity but the physical grabbing and holding still sent his heart going after last night. He squeezed Sebastian’s wrist and disentangled himself from Sebastian’s arm as discreetly as he could. The other boy had told him not to just let him do whatever he wanted. Jim could help him with that. “That sounds good. Is your bedroom as ridiculous as the rest of the house?” Jim teased quietly.

  
"My bedroom is my fucking place, but you should see your bedroom." Sebastian smirked, nodding to his father and quickly hustling Jim out of the room, "Four posters, en-suite bathroom, bath you could drown a grown man in, don't get any ideas yeah?" He grinned and then hesitated, "Damn, we forgot to bring the wine. Cellar first then. You're used to drinking aren't you? You're certainly getting through it. Heh."

  
“It’s been a while…” Jim had plenty of experience with alcohol but he wasn’t what anyone would consider a mature or responsible drinker. Back home no one had cared if he drank until he made himself sick. He had finished his glass but carried it down with them to the cellar, trying to appear cool and unaffected by how much wine was down here and how much money it must all be worth. He was already feeling a little bit lighter, which probably had something to do with his hunger and the wine. “Big enough to drown a grown man? I suppose that means there’s room for two then?” Jim gave Sebastian a smirk and grabbed at his belt teasingly. Alcohol usually made him like this – flirty and playful and totally ready to ignore boundaries that had been put in place for a reason. If he was drunk enough then maybe he wouldn’t shy away from Sebastian’s hands.

  
Sebastian's eyes widened as Jim grabbed his belt, spinning around to look at him, with a bottle of expensive wine in each hand, "Oh there's room enough for two, don't you worry. Room enough for two in the bed as well, room for two to get up to all sorts." He grinned happily back, assuming Jim was just being freer now they were alone and unbothered by the surroundings. "I'm so fucking glad you still wanted to come here. I'd have died in there talking dull wank with the Holmes's. Straight up the stairs, the other stairs. Room's on the right."

  
Jim grinned and followed Sebastian up the stairs and wasn’t able to hide his shock when he saw his room, “Holy fuck. This is mine? It’s like the size of my flat!” It really really wasn’t even an exaggeration. There was a huge bed and a living room sitting area with a fireplace and a huge bathroom. “This is amazing…” Jim opened one of the bottles and poured himself another glass that he drained a little bit faster now that they were alone and he wasn’t being judged for how quickly he drank. “Can you get the water started? Fuck I don’t even know what all those controls are for? Are there bubbles? I always wanted bubbles in my bath…” Jim rambled happily as he drank more of the wine.

  
"There's a fucking jaccuzzi setting." Sebastian said smugly, downing his wine as well, and pouring out more for both of them. Setting the glasses on the side he put in the plug and started filling the bath, stripping off his uniform at the same time, "Fuck me Jim, I - god I'm so glad you came here. Wanted to show you this, wanted you to like it, and really, really want you to live like this. For you. Something comfortable and happy and fuck..." he knocked his wine glass into the bath and had to fish it out again, laughing, "There you go, you can even swim in champagne."

  
Jim giggled at Sebastian’s joke and it really wasn’t that funny. He started taking off his clothes too, and pouring them both more wine. He avoided his reflection in the mirror where a bruise sat high up on one cheekbone from where he’d been hit repeatedly last night and he had dark bruises on the sides and bottom of his hips where he’d been held down between the sergeants hands and the table. Jim didn’t want to look at himself so he stripped quickly and brought his glass and the bottle into the bath so he could face Sebastian. “I’m glad too. Everyone seems alright.” Jim snorted and shook his head while he laughed, “It’s a nice dream. Maybe I can leach off of Magnussen for long enough I could afford some of this stuff. Somehow I don’t think John has one of these hidden in his rooms.”

  
Sebastian gave a scowl at Magnussen's name, sliding into the bath opposite Jim, trying not to get angry at the bruises on Jim's waist. "What is Magnussen actually paying you for?" He asked, curiously, "Is it Watson? I bet it is. He's wanted information on that bastard for years, John is the only one who doesn't lick his arse." Shifting he tangled his legs around Jim's and blew him a kiss, "I'm seducing you with my rich and glamerous life-style. Think about this next time we're sleeping in a puddle in the middle of a forest."

  
“Well it’s working. I think I’m too pretty to be a trophy wife though…” Jim shrugged and watched Sebastian warily, “No he’s – paying me _with_ Watson. He – because our relationship progressed he gave me Watson as my guardian. For doing well.” Jim was confused because Sebastian had definitely mentioned that he knew about Magnussen and the work with his dad. Maybe he didn’t know about the files Jim was supposed to get but he knew his father was Magnussen’s target anyway. Jim took a long drink from his glass and tilted his head back as the hot water rose up around them. “Fuck this is so much better than cold showers.”

  
"Watson's your reward?" Sebastian gave a chuckle, pleased that at least Jim hadn't taken the easy way out of lying. He didn't feel up to challenging the boy with what he'd overheard so he just flicked a bit of water at Jim and grinned. "Oh yeah? You ain't seen nothing yet. Watch this." Reaching behind Jim and being sure to brush as much wet skin against him as possible, he pressed a small chrome button. The water beneath them began to bubble and fizz and Sebastian gave a wide grin, sliding to sit next to Jim and keeping one arm behind him. "Jaccuzzi bath."

  
“He’s my guardian now. Magnussen could have just left him with my dad. I mean it’s not all that much better in reality because my father does whatever he wants anyway but… I like John. He’s not been awful to me.” Before last night Sebastian reaching around him and pressing against him would have been teasing and exciting but now Jim just felt boxed in and pressed against the bath edge. It only lasted for a second though as he pushed the button and when the jets started up he realized what Sebastian’s intentions had been. The other boy settled next to him instead and Jim didn’t mind that so much and he leaned against him dizzily as he polished off his third glass of wine that hour.

  
Sebastian made a face, "Alright lets stop talking about Mags right now before just the thought of him makes my dick want to fall off." Jim was resting against him as the water bubbled around and Sebastian felt deliriously happy. His mother was here, Mycroft was angry, Jim was close. His hand fumbled down to stroke and squeeze at Jim's thigh, "Mmmm... you are a hot little thing when you're drunk." He murmured wickedly into Jim's ear.

  
“I thought you liked me all the time,” Jim groused as he glared teasingly. He reached around and started to pour himself another glass as he polished off the first bottle. Jim reached down under the water and gave Sebastian’s dick a quick squeeze, “Nope. Still there. I’m not sure how we would go on if you lost it.”

  
"Nah, nah I fucking _love_ you all the time." Sebastian said sloppily, giving a groan as Jim squeezed his cock, and humping his hips up a little, "Just... just... really really want you when you're all hot and horny and wicked and wonderful." He gave a little whine and then moved to sloppily kiss the side of Jim's mouth, spilling his wine into the jacuzzi again as his glass tilted.

  
Jim wasn’t sure how he felt about Sebastian insisting that he loved him all the time now. His mother had only said it a few times and she was the only one to tell him that before Sebastian. It just seemed strange. Jim knew he meant it though which was weird and difficult for him to understand. He liked that Sebastian had never kissed him on the mouth after that first time in the storage shed – it was just a peculiarity of Jim’s. He grinned and rescued Sebastian’s wine, sipping it down quickly while Sebastian kissed at the side of his neck and Jim’s hand fondled at his cock some more.

  
Sebastian moaned, his hips thrusting up weakly, his eyes closing a bit, the kisses working their way across the side of Jim's face and down his neck, stopping to nibble at his ear, "I - fuck - I can stop saying it if y-you like but s'true you hot little crazy little bastard." He murmured, licking and worrying at Jim's ear and then at the skin beneath it, "J-just keep your hand there, y-yeah, oh _fuck..."_

  
Jim liked watching Sebastian when he was like this, he liked taking note of all the reactions his body had to Jim. Having the other boy’s hands on him was a little bit overwhelming but Jim drank more wine and after a few minutes that feeling went away too. “I’m not going anywhere,” Jim muttered as he leaned his forehead against Sebastian’s shoulder and had to set the wine glass down on the fat lip of the tub. He was feeling dizzy with the steam and the wine and this thing with Sebastian that he didn’t know how to quantify or even start dissecting. Jim was heavily flushed and wasn’t sure that pressing harder against Sebastian’s warm skin was going to help with that but he was comfortable to prop himself up against. Jim was starting to fumble Sebastian’s cock so he wrapped a firm hand around it instead to keep up the friction.

  
Sebastian groaned again, humping his hips into Jim's hand until he couldn't stand it any longer. The water was too hot, the bubbles were hiding Jim's body. Moving Jim aside he stood up, and then swung Jim into his arms, bridal style, giving him a resounding kiss on the forehead, "Right... you are too fucking gorgeous. If I'm forgiven I want to fuck you right here in this four-poster bed. Shhh..." Silencing Jim's words with another kiss he dumped him down in the bed, covering Jim's body with his own and pressing wetly into the sheets.

  
Jim gasped as the room spun when Sebastian picked him up suddenly and he clung to Sebastian hard because he was afraid he’d be dropped. “Wha-?” Jim made a confused noise at Sebastian’s proclamation but then he was kissing him and the dizziness intensified. He shivered as Sebastian laid him down on the bed and the sheets stuck to his skin since they hadn’t even stopped to dry off. Jim’s heart started hammering hard as Sebastian pressed him down into the mattress, trapping him with his body. At least he wasn’t on his stomach, if he was held down like that again Jim thought he would scream. He spread his legs unconsciously, trying to make room for the boy’s hips above him while he tried to chase down the misgiving he felt and work out what they were. Jim shouldn’t be nervous about this, there was no good reason he could think of for why he shouldn’t let him but it had hurt so badly last time and the night before had been frightening for no explainable reason. He hadn’t been hurt. Jim was okay. So this was fine. He’d feel better if he wasn’t so dizzy.

  
Sebastian moaned as Jim spread his legs, taking it as a tacit admission that he was allowed in. Giving Jim another kiss he flipped him over, reaching down to squeeze hard at his arse and rub his cock at the base of his spine, "Mmmm... fuck don't you worry this is going to be fucking good... mmm..." He was too drunk to pick up any subtle signals, and far too horny to want anything other than sex, and assuming quite happily that Jim felt exactly the same way. His hand squeezed firm and harsh at the rounded curve of Jim's arse, "FUCK me... god... wanted this for so long..."

  
Suddenly Jim was moved too quickly again and he knew he was on his stomach. He made a high noise of distress when the words didn’t come immediately and the sheets bunched and wrapped around him, twisting his legs up and constricting him further as Sebastian rutted against him. Jim started squirming, trying to – do something. Maybe get the sheets unstuck from him skin, maybe he didn’t want to be touched anymore. When nothing really happened Jim closed his eyes and gave a big sigh as he resigned himself to being stuck. He was too drunk to be truly afraid but he knew something was wrong and he couldn’t remember what – then it came to him. “Cundums…” With great effort he was able to get the word out – more or less with the slur.

  
"Mmm... whut?" Sebastian moaned, humping Jim harder, still groping his arse but starting to slide a finger down between the cleft, pressing and poking at the little twitching entrance, "Nahhhh we're both virgins aren't we? Well... I dunno about you, but your clear, bet you are. I trust you. S'not like you'll get pregnant..." He gently bit at the centre of Jim's shoulder blades, loving the wet feeling of skin pressing down against the scrawny body below. "Don't need'em, don't worry, I'll prep you really good, yeah?"

  
Jim was not sleepy anymore, he was disoriented and scared. He couldn’t see who was touching him. He could hear Seb’s voice but he had heard his voice the other time too when the Sergeant touched him. He shuddered and bit his lip as the man groaned and pressed down against him, rubbing his cock over Jim’s body. “L – fuck, lube.” Jim just wasn’t able to get the words out and he went cold as Sebastian pressed a dry finger against his entrance. He bucked and started twisting and fighting, Jim didn’t want to be fucked by that man. His hands weren’t tied, which was weird, but he was already naked and that froze his insides. He wasn’t very effective with slow limbs but the man was slow to respond too so he managed to get a few hits in.

  
"Jim... fuck what the fuck?" Sebastian laughed, rolling away as Jim started punching at him, giving a smirk and slapping his arse hard, "Oh... you want it rough again?" He froze as he saw Jim's face, blind and panicked, and suddenly felt a lurch of nausea. "Oh fuck..." Staggering upright, he stumbled over to the bath and dunked his head in the water, switching off the jacuzzi and emerging, hair dripping wet, "Don't tell me I've fucked up again... Christ you were groping my dick a few moments ago - does that not mean you want sex then?"

  
Jim flopped down onto the soaked sheets as Sebastian got up and left the bed, relieved that he was able to get his feelings across even when he was so drunk that words had failed him. Now that there wasn’t a lead weight pressing against him the words came easier, “You – ‘s gonna hurt me. No. Fuck.” He took a breath and shivered in his bed while he tried to keep his eyes open. “My fault. Got confused, no biggie.” His words slurred together but at least he could find them now when he wasn’t so goddamn lost.

  
"I'm not going to hurt you... christ, you were the one started hitting me." Sebastian took a swig from the wine bottle and came back over to the bed, reaching down to pat Jim's cheek and looking at him unsteadily, "'M not going to hurt you, just want you to have a good time, c-cn I fuck you or not, or, hey, you can fuck me yeah?" He wasnt sure about that at all but pushed on blindly, "Yeah, I'll lay down and you can get my arse, you want that? Just... yeah prep it okay because that looks like it could hurt..."

  
“Said I got confused, sorry.” Jim watched him warily, trying to keep alert but he could feel himself fading fast. “Hurts. Fuck it hurts. No.” He wasn’t going to let anyone get buggered again without lube, Jim didn’t expect he could sit up without assistance he wasn’t going to try and fuck someone in this state. “Not gonna hurt you ven if you’re a bastard.” Jim wiped at his eyes and frowned, frustrated with his fucked up head.

  
"It hurts..." Sebastian looked at him uncomprehendingly, groaning and letting go of him, turning to knock his head against the wall, "If it always fucking hurts why do people fucking do it? I don't want to hurt you, want to be good, all loving and fuck. Like... oh I don't fucking know. Like something nice. For you." He squeezed his eyes shut and slumped to the floor, remembering the noises Jim had made that night. It had been an act - but an act from someone who knew what it sounded like, and the thought he'd been about to do what the sergeant had done made him want to tear his skin off. "Don't be sorry, fuck, s'not your fault... god I..." He rubbed his eyes tiredly and mumbled, "Was I really about to do that... to you?"

  
“Lube…” Jim groaned, frustrated that Sebastian didn’t seem to get this. “Hurts without lube. We haven’t got any. Or condoms. If you – uh – try and run a car with no petrol it fucks up your engine?” Jim’s metaphor was severely lacking but it was the best he could do under the circumstances. Sebastian slid to the floor and Jim got out of bed and stumbled into Sebastian’s lap. Sebastian stopped him feeling so dizzy. Jim petted his head again like he did last night, it was clumsier than usual but Jim was a determined little thing and he didn’t want Sebastian to be sad. “You stopped. ‘S good.” He realized Sebastian was still hard and he breathed out a sigh, “Can finish you off?”

  
Sebastian let Jim fall into his lap, petting him awkwardly and sniffling a bit, "Ah fuck... fucked up... nah, 's okay. I've... gone down." He groaned and hugged Jim tightly, then looked up with a jump as the door slid open.

Serephine was framed there, looking a lot smaller without her large white fur stole, and with a red satin dressing gown covering her dress. She raised an eyebrow as she saw them, moving into and shutting the door and then taking two towels to drop next to them before turning to look out the window, giving them some privacy. "Sebastian." She said eventually, "You are a terrible drunk."

  
Jim groaned when the woman came in and he ducked his face against Sebastian’s neck so she wouldn’t see him. He wasn’t someone who embarrassed easily but it was Sebastian’s _mother_ and he thought it was allowed in this situation. Jim quickly grabbed up the towel and crawled out of Sebastian’s lap so that he could cover up. The towel was precariously wrapped around his waist but he spotted his bag and happily went over to dig through for some civilian clothes. Getting dressed was hard. His limbs did not respond the way he wanted them to and Jim kept listing to one side. Eventually he managed to get some sweat pants on though, the first civilian clothes he’d worn since he was tossed into that school. Mostly he just didn’t want her to see the bruises on his hips but he couldn’t manage a shirt so he just pulled the wait line up unusually high to cover them. There. Jim was actually pretty proud of himself for managing that much. “Sorry – made a mess. I’ll clean.” Jim stumbled for the bathroom and started to put their glasses and the bottles on the counter while he tried to drain the tub but he was pretty close to falling in and his fingers kept slipping against the stopper.

  
"Oh your poor boy..." Serephine came over, gently taking his shoulders and steering him away from the bath, before ferreting under the pillow for a set of pyjamas. They were far too big for Jim, but she tugged the shirt over his head, noting the bruises and staying silent about them, "Don't worry about cleaning, goodness me, there's barely a mess." Sebastian stood up and tugged on the matching trousers from the pyjamas, still looking unhappy. "You're both drunk and in no state for this." Sitting on the bed she patted the space next to her for Jim to sit and stroked his hair gently, just once, "You're not used to drinking are you? You're going to have a terrible hangover tomorrow. For now though, you need water. And a bucket. And possibly my son as well. Both of you, go to Sebastian's room now, just stagger along the hallway. I'll get the bed cleaned and dried." She looked up at Sebastian, a little severely, "Have you been hurting him, Seb darling?"

"He attacked me with a stapler..." Sebastian muttered and Seraphine let out a peel of laughter.

"Oh my dear boy - did you try to bully him?" She looked at Seb fondly and shook her head, "Terrible boy. Come on now, help your friend stand up. And if he asks you to sleep on the chaise, you do so, understood?" Sebastian muttered a sulky 'yes...' and then flung himself into a hug with her, while she shushed him and petted him and eventually said, a touch severely, "Yes, yes, I know you feel terrible, but you'll ruin this gown if it gets wet. Sort it out with him darling, I'll find a bucket."

  
Jim wasn’t sure what to make of the woman – he didn’t like that she fussed over him. Jim very suddenly felt like crying for his mother. He’d never cried for her. He was a bad son. He should have checked on her. Jim said at much to Serephine. His eyes were wet but even drunk he was determined not to cry, especially because when he was so out of control like this Jim was afraid he’d never stop until all of the water in his body was spent and he would just be bones and flakes of skin. “Sorry, sorry… It’s that tall twat. It’s none of his fucking business. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about.” Jim didn’t even know what he was apologizing for but he suddenly didn’t want to be here anymore and he stumbled away out into the hall.

  
Seraphine watched him go and then stood, looking at Sebastian a little severely, "We don't molest the guests, Sebastian, not now your father's career is on the ropes _again._ With that she swept out leaving Sebastian gaping liks a fish and finally hurrying into the hall to make sure Jim staggered in the right direction, "Fuck I'm sorry about that she's... she's sort of unstoppable. Look it's... yeah... this room." Sebastian's bedroom was more modest, with a desk in one corner, a set of combat gear on the floor, and a king sized bed rather than a four poster. The room was big enough for a large sofa as well, and Sebastian staggered over to it, "Do - do you want me to sleep on this?"

  
Jim was still trying to rein everything in but it was much more difficult when he was compromised by the wine. “You’ll get a horrible crick. Com’ere.” Jim flopped on the bed and pulled the blankets up and over his head just in case he really started crying. Fuck he was a mess. “I’m a fuck up. I’m a bad son and a bad spy and a bad cadet and a bad – whatever I am to you. I’m not used to fucking up.” Jim’s eyes were closed and if a few tears leaked out then he certainly couldn’t see them. It was just leftover water from the bath.

  
Sebastian gave a growl. Standing up he went to his door and bolted it, then came back to the bed and tugged the blankets down, looking at Jim's pale face, red-rimmed eyes, in a shirt far too big for him. "Fucking hell - you say that as if I didn't just try to assault you. Again. This time in my own damn house. Fucking - c'mere..." He sat on the bed and looked at Jim awkwardly, hoping he wanted a cuddle but not ready to just pull him into one after all that had happened. "You're a perfect son with a shitty father, you're a fucking good spy I mean you're here aren't you? You survived almost a whole term as a cadet and I'm fucking besotted with you even though I know Mags is paying you to screw over my father. So you haven't fucked up anything. And I don't give a shit if you have."

  
He flinched as Sebastian pulled the covers away and sulked when he realized he wasn’t going to be allowed to grieve in private. Jim shook his head but it made him dizzy again. That wasn’t what happened. “It was my fault, I couldn’t remember how to say no. Shouldn’t have hit you. Told you I’d say no, remember?” Jim had promised last night. He got up like he was told and sat in Sebastian’s lap again, trying to balance himself alright and just ended up leaning most of his weight on the other boy. “No. my mum. She swallowed all those pills and I didn’t even know until I found her. I should have – done something, I don’t know. She fucking left me with my dad.” Jim still thought he might hate her but he also felt incredibly guilty for not seeing the signs, for staying out of the house at all hours of the night and not noticing when she got worse. He sniffed and pressed his face against Sebastian’s shoulder and whispered, “He’s not paying me. Mags is going to kill my dad for me. He’s not going to hurt me again. I just can’t fuck it up. Don’t tell anyone.” Jim shushed Sebastian and pressed a finger against the boy’s lips.

  
Sebastian wrapped his arms around Jim, stilling as there was a knock on the door and then relaxing as Serephine murmured, "I'll leave the bucket outside, don't kill each other." And then thankfully left.

His hand stroked Jim's back, petting gently and enjoying the heavy weight of the other against him, "Fuck, I-I didn't know that about your mum. S'okay. It wasn't your fault." He stilled again as Magnussen was mentioned, at the thought of Jim's father being actually killed, and then clenched his jaw. "Good. You won't fuck it up. We'll make sure Mags gets what he needs." He gently kissed at the finger against his lips, his hands still stroking Jim's back, "Won't tell a soul. Not even Watson."

  
“Your mum is nice but she makes me sad.” Jim was relieved and he sighed while Sebastian petted his back. “You’re a good friend. Don’t know if I love you but you’re my favorite person in the world.” He passed out or fell asleep after a minute, still straddling Sebastian’s lap and leaning against his chest, completely dead to the world.

  
"Why does she make you sad?" Sebastian looked confused, but Jim seemed to have passed out. He let the boy sleep in his lap for a bit and then, groaning, laid him down in the bed. Heading to the door he unlocked it and bought the bucket in, making a face as he saw his mother had helpfully stuck a little tub of lube and three condoms in the bottom. Quickly, he hid them in the drawer and then put the bucket on Jim's side of the bed, getting in himself and cuddling Jim back against his chest. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Attempted drunk sex w/ dubious consent due to intoxication


	13. Try on the Westwood

Jim woke up with a warm body pressed up behind his and his stomach rolled hard when he leaned over the edge of the bed and grabbed the bucket before getting sick. “Ugh – oh fuck.” He got sick again and rubbed at his head as it ached and throbbed. “What the fuck..?” He was in a shirt he didn’t recognize, in a room he didn’t remember going to and he looked back quickly to see who he was in bed with. It was only Sebastian though, and he was fully dressed as well so probably nothing had happened. Jim was still too tired and half asleep to piece together much of what went on last night but it would come back to him. Fuck that rich wine fucked him up. He groaned and got sick one more time before getting up on wobbly feet and stumbling to the bathroom with the bucket so he could clean his mouth out and wash the bucket. For now he’d just rinse it out really well and clean the bathtub with bleach or something later. Right now he just needed it to be functional in case Sebastian or he was sick again. When Jim was presentable he came back out with the freshly washed bucket and climbed back into bed, hoping to fall asleep again if it wasn’t too late.

  
Sebastian heard Jim wake but his head was throbbing and his stomach felt queasy so he just lay face down on the bed and waited for it all to pass. He reached up to pat Jim's head as he got back into bed, missing and patting his side instead, "'M going to die, you okay?" He mumbled, fractured memories of the night before mixed up with dreams all coming back to him at once.

  
Jim made an unhappy sound and curled into Sebastian’s side to block out some of the light that was streaming through the windows. “Think I’m going to die first. I drank more than you – and you’re twice my size. Fuck that was stupid.” There was a sharp knock from the door and Jim groaned as the sound reverberated around in his head. “Go away!” The knock sounded again. “Seb it’s your bloody door you can answer it.” Jim was perfectly content to just curl up in the blankets for a little longer.

  
Sebastian rolled out of bed, swore unhappily as he hit the floor and then staggered upright, pulling himself up with the doorknob. "If you're not either someone with breakfast or a fucking prostitute then piss off." He shouted horsely at the hinges. "If I have to open this door I swear I will eat or fuck whatever if behind it. We're ill. There was something dodgy in the... wine..."

  
“I suspect what was dodgy in the bottle was wine. You don’t have to let me in,” Sherlock groused from the other side of the door. “In fact I would really prefer not to. Lunch is being served in fifteen minutes. The Moriarty boy is in there, I assume? Let him know too. I _have_ been given a job to do after all.” Apparently because Sherlock was the closest to them in age he was now their personal liaison between the children and the grown-ups. It boggled his mind a little to think that he was a full ten years older than they were.

  
"Lunch can go fuck itself." Sebastian growled, banging his head against the door to try and wake himself up and then, in deference to both his mother and Jim, "Alright, you've done your job, we'll try and drag ourselves down there. Course Jim's in here, we stole two bottles of wine and got absolutely rat-arsed together - it's what you do with your mates. Not that you'd know." He didn't really care if Sherlock knew the truth - and from what he remembered they hadn't slept together anyway. Stumbling back to the bed he collapsed over it and gave Jim a poke. "'M going for a shower. We can get food bought up if you're not up to moving but I should probably show my face."

  
“Oh my god,” Jim groaned and covered his face. “Your mum saw me naked. In your lap. Fuck well there goes any pretense we had. Jim sat up blearily and tried not to move too fast just in case he got sick again. “I’m coming with you. I need a shower and if you’re there and I slip and crack my head open it’s okay.” Jim was getting bits and pieces of last night – he didn’t remember coming to this room at all but he had fairly clear memories of the most – emotional bits. That’s how the brain remembered things after all. But other parts were foggy or gone entirely. He remembered their almost-fuck though.

  
Sebastian gave a grin, "My mum knows, and she wont tell. Last night she even whispered in my ear that she thought you were a good choice to get into bed. She'd see through it anyway. She knows me. He doesn't." Sebastian gave a sniffle - his head was throbbing and he did miss his mum. "C'mon then, into the shower." He stuck the water on and leaned heavily against the tiles. "Urgh, fuck. We drank far too much without any food. Thought you said you were good at drinking? Why the fuck does it smell of bleach in here?"

  
“I’m not sure how I feel about that – your mother has strange tastes.” Jim followed Sebastian into the shower and grimaced a little at being caught out. “I did some cleaning after I got sick this morning. I _am_ good at drinking, did you see how much I managed? I never said I was good at holding my liquor.” Jim felt shit but the warm water was wonderful. “I’m sorry again about last night. I kinda led you on for a while, didn’t I?”

  
"What? Nah... don't be silly. 'S not leading me on, is it? Leading me on would be... you know... saying you wanted sex with me when really you wanted to knee me in the balls. Wanting me to fuck you and then finding it too sodding awful at the actual moment isn't leading me on, s'just the universe being a wanker." He managed a tired grin and grabbed the shampoo, dumping floral-smelling gel onto Jim's hair. "Stay still, 'M washing your hair. My mum has perfect taste, she only likes all the loud trashing bling because it annoys people. She knows what's good for me. You are fucking obsessed with cleaning, we have people to do that here."

  
Jim pressed against Sebastian tiredly and started kissing at his chest lazily, “It wasn’t awful. I just got disoriented. Thought you were the sergeant until I got turned around and was able to see that it was just you.” Jim ran his tongue over one of Sebastian’s nipples before biting on it sharply. “There. Awake yet?” Jim grinned and wrapped his arms loosely around Sebastian while the other boy washed his hair. “This is where being the shortest has its perks. I could barely reach your head if this was the other way around. I’m not obsessed. I’ve been in foster care before I know how it works when you’re staying in someone else’s house…” Be small, don’t take up space, don’t leave any sign that you were there so as not to be an inconvenience.

  
Sebastian yelped as Jim bit his nipple, sending a painful tingle through him, although he was far too hungover to get aroused, "Owwch! Little shit." He kept washing Jim's hair though, sighing and shaking his head, "No... this isn't foster care. You're a guest. You don't worry about anything - cleaning cooking, s'all taken care of. Treat it like a hotel." He wiped the foam away from Jim's forehead and grinned at him, enjoying the wet, and the contact, and just having someone else here with him. "It'll be hell down there you know. Stilted and jilted Holmes's and our hangovers and my dad."

  
Jim managed a little smile, enjoying the privacy and how relaxed everything was – even if they did both feel shit. “That’s alright. It won’t be worse than school. And I’m really hungry.” Jim rinsed his hair and then stepped out of the shower with his towel around his waist and headed back to his room where his clothes were. He only had what he’d thrown in that duffle all those weeks ago and none of it was suitable for meeting people like Sebastian’s family and friends. Still, Jim was _not_  putting that uniform back on. So he settled for his best jumper. It was a little threadbare and tattered but it was clean and smelled like his laundry detergent back home. He had jeans too but they all had holes in the knees from running around and falling down or being pushed around at his last school. It was the best he could do and nothing Sebastian had would fit him. He stepped out of the hall to meet Sebastian so at least he wouldn’t have to go down alone.

  
Seraphine was already up and wearing a pair of tight white jeans that showed off her hips, coupled with truly terrifying white wedge heals and a lavish dark cashmere jumper that seemed to be supporting a huge amount of jewelery. She was also carrying a shopping bag, and hurried over to Jim in alarm. "Oh my goodness, I am _so_ glad I caught you darling, before you went down." Flinging bouffanted hair out of her face she handed across the bag, "Now you don't have to wear it, of course you don't, but Holmes is a complete snob and I don't want you having to face him sneering at you unless you don't mind it. Try on the Westwood, it'll suit you perfectly, just don't let Sebastian ravish you all over the table. Where is my darling son?" Blowing Jim a kiss she strode into Sebastian's room, causing a surprised yelp from inside, "Seb darling, get dressed, you're not sculking up here all day."

  
Jim took the bag in shock and clung to the little handles. She bought him _Westwood._ What the fuck? Still he couldn’t bring himself to let go so he pushed back into Sebastian’s room, feeling overwhelmed. “Er – Ms – uh.” Jim realized too late that she most likely was separated or divorced from Moran from what Sebastian had said. “Shouldn’t I save it for Christmas when there are more people? The Holmes don’t bother me. It’s really okay.” He still didn’t set the bag down. He didn’t like charity but he liked the gift – he hadn’t even seen it and he knew he would like it.

  
"If you like I can wrap it and put it under the tree - it's a Christmas gift for you darling, but you might as well open and wear it now. Sebastian don't wear that, you'll look like a blond Andy McNab still in the desert. Put on a suit darling, no _Sebastian."_ Seb growled and hissed a swearword but tugged out a suit. "Call me Serephine, please, my last name changes so often nowadays I can barely keep track of it." Sebastian made an unhappy noise as he tugged on the suit and his mother fussed over him.

  
“No, that’s fine. I’ll wear it now.” Jim did rather regret the loss of his comfortable clothes during his hangover but he did know it would be ungracious to refuse at this point. He took it in the bathroom and changed as quickly as he could – some of it was difficult to manage and he grappled with his tie for a while before just accepting it would be crooked. Jim came out eventually feeling very silly even if he could recognize the beauty of the suit. With his frame and the hair it was almost a lost cause but he did look worlds away from a homeless person. “Ms. Serephine – thank you for the suit and shoes. They’re wonderful.” He still looked hungover and half-starved but it was certainly an improvement.

  
Sebastian's face was a picture as Jim emerged and as Serephine raked finger's through Jim's hair and straightened his tie he gave a little whistle, "Wow. You look good. I mean suits look good on you. You look like a smart fucker in a suit. I just look like a bouncer." He squirmed as his mum straightened his tie, knocking it crooked as soon as her fingers moved out the way, "All right! it's just lunch. No biggie. Are you coming down."

She gave a laugh and shook her head. "I've eaten. Going shopping again now, I can't stand this bloody house in the middle of nowhere, not when I can drive to a decent boutique. Don't punch any Holmes's while I'm away, they're delicate and bleed easily."

  
Sebastian looked at him like he didn’t see any of Jim’s flaws and that was all at once as heady as the wine and terrifying. The other boy straightened his tie and Jim worked not to look too pleased with himself. Fuck but he didn’t even know how to pay her back. There wasn’t anything she could want that he could give her – Jim supposed keeping Seb safe and getting the Sergeant away from him would have to be enough, although he wouldn’t ever tell her about it. Jim stuck close to Sebastian’s side as they went down. Everyone was still seated around the table but they seemed at least half way through their meal. Jim felt awkward like he was borrowing someone else’s skin even though his suit was tailored well. He sat next to Sebastian and tried to just focus on serving them.

Sherlock watched them with some mixture of curiosity and distain, “I don’t suppose either of you have heard the news. That Sergeant at the school you go to was just fired for sexual misconduct with students. One would hope that the board would be more careful not to hire pedophiles at their prestigious school. Lord Moran did you hear about the scandal? Did you know him?”

  
Sebastian choked on his first mouthful of food as Sherlock started talking, his eyes widening in disbelieve as he heard the news. He gave Jim a shocked glance, not entirely sure what to feel. True, the sergeant had been a proper bastard, and Sebastian knew that how the man had treated him was shameful but still... he'd been Sebastian's closest ally. And giving blow-jobs hadn't felt _too_ bad at the time, they'd felt special, a privilege.

Augustus glared at Sherlock, wiping his lips with a napkin, "I knew of him, but not personally. I think it's completely shocking for a school to hire such a man and more should be done to ensure rigorous standards at our private schools to ensure no child is taken advantage of."

Mycroft gave a discrete cough and murmured, "Of course, of course. Brother-mine much though we appreciate you coming out of your room and gracing us with your presence that's not perhaps the most... suitable of lunchtime conversations."

  
Jim tried not to look too pleased or too guilty as Sherlock prattled on. It was good to know though that the man was gone. Magnussen had kept his promise then. Jim pressed a hand against Sebastian’s thigh under the table, trying to calm him down and get him to relax so he wouldn’t give away something that would send Augustus on a war path.

Sherlock glared lightly at Mycroft, knowing how uncomfortable talking about his old school made him. “What about you then, _Myc?_ Did you know any of this was going on when you were there at school?”

  
Sebastian felt a bit better with Jim's hand pressed against his own shaking lag. He knew that the sergeant had probably fucked him up in some deep way that needed sorting, but it couldn't be worse than how fucked up Jim was. Mycroft gave Augustus a slightly apologetic and exasperated look, "Well that was ten years ago Sherlock. They probably have different staff now. I certainly never heard of any such thing."

"Staff are the same." Sebastian spoke up helpfully, enjoying the twin looks of rage. "He might not have been your Sergeant, but he would still have been around then. Doctor Watson said he remembered you." Mycroft went white and Sherlock's expression suddenly slammed shut. There was an awkward pause.

  
Jim watched Sebastian, not sure what the other boy was doing. “It’s true he did mention you to me.” It was telling to see their reactions. Sherlock stood quickly and just left with a slight shake in his hands and Jim watched him go with some trepidation.

  
Sebastian raised an eyebrow in surprise as Sherlock left. He'd know there was bad history between the Holmes's and Watson, but never just quite how bad. "Oh well done Sebastian." Augustus growled.

Seb speared a piece of toast slightly annoyed before replying, "What? I was just trying to move the conversation on from kiddie fiddling. Sherlock's the one that stormed off."

Mycroft gave an ingrating smile, his food pretty much untouched, just pushed around the plate and cut up, "I'm sorry my brother always finds social situations a little difficult. Please convey my own greetings to Doctor Watson when you return, he was an excellent Doctor and a good teacher as well."

  
“He’s my guardian,” Jim said a little more quietly than the current volume of the conversation. Suddenly he wasn’t very hungry and Jim mirrored Mycroft in pushing around his food. “John mentioned you to me – he seemed to think that we had certain similarities.” Jim glanced up and met Mycroft’s eyes for a moment from across the table and then looked back down at his plate. The comment was harmless enough, hopefully Jim and Mycroft would be the only ones to understand what the comment meant.

  
Mycroft's eyebrows raised through the roof at the suggestion and Augustus gave a rather nasty laugh at the thought of Jim and Mycroft sharing anything. After a quick searching look at Jim, Mycroft quickly changed the conversation, mentioned someone in politics that Augustus knew, and steering things to the comparatively save area of the man's dodgy accounts. Sebastian got his appetite back, finishing off breakfast and then giving Jim a poke. "Alright if we're excused till the evening? I want to show Jim all the boring historical bits of the house."

  
Jim was unsurprised by Mycroft changing the subject but his jaw did clench when he was laughed at. Fucker. It was strange being in this world where manors were the most important thing and god forbid if they didn’t follow them. He could only hope that Mycroft had understood his hidden question and would be willing to help. Yes, Jim wanted to do this job so that his father would be out of his life, but he didn’t want to work for Mags forever. This was the only job he would do. He hoped Mycroft knew how to get himself out. Jim did end up eating a little bit more after the tension of the last conversation wore off but he didn’t eat too much just in case he was sick again. Jim didn’t wait for Augustus’ permission to leave breakfast, he just stood and walked away. Jim didn’t really like the man and he didn’t want to set a precedent of doing what he was told.

  
"You stay here." Augustus snapped as Jim left through the door, "We need a serious talk young man, about where the hell this bloody school is taking you."

Mycroft raised an eyebrow at Seb, gave a small polite smile, and hurried from the table, entering the hallway moments after Jim and quickly steering him without touching him into an empty room. "We need to talk." He murmured into Jim's ear, "We need to talk urgently, privately, and without that horrible woman bearing down on me like an unstoppable perfumed blimp. There's not a single thing that we could have in common except one, and I'm very much hoping that you haven't been ensnared in Magnussen's clutches already."

  
“We have more than one thing in common,” Jim groused but nodded and followed along to the empty room. He felt a little defensive when Mycroft insinuated he’d fallen for Magnussen’s scheme _already._ Jim hadn’t had a choice. Jim crossed his arms and tilted his chin up a little while he shrugged, “He had me brought to his school so that he could use me. He approached me the first week I got there. I can’t say there was a lot of pussyfooting around what he wanted. He’d very direct.”

  
"So far, so very much in common." Mycroft locked the door and then sat down in a chair where he slumped, fingers wearily rubbing at his temples. "What has he sent you here for - revenge on Sebastian or information from Moran? Or are you spying on me?" He looked at Jim with slightly more esteem than he had at first, knowing Magnussen had chosen him from the first, "You look very smart like that, by the way, much better than yesterday. Not that Augustus will care, the man's a complete snob."

  
“Thank you.” Jim muttered automatically as he stuck his hands in his pockets and sat down in another chair. “I don’t know that I should tell you that… You aren’t involved though. I don’t think Magnussen would be very happy we’re talking and I don’t trust you.” Well, Jim trusted him enough or he wanted free from Magnussen enough that he was willing to bring this up at all. Mycroft looked tired all of a sudden and it made Jim deeply uneasy that he could look so tired just thinking about Magnussen all these years later. He sneered suddenly, feeling like Mycroft was judging him for falling in with Mags so quickly. “I didn’t have a lot of fucking options, you know how he operates.” If Jim was honest with himself he knew he’d never had a fucking chance but that involved recognizing how little power he had in this situation and that was an uncomfortable truth he didn’t like to look at too closely.

  
"I am involved, believe me, I am always involved." Mycroft gave a deep sigh and then looked at Jim frankly, "Having no options plays to your advantage, please remember that. I had options. I chose the wrong ones. It's always much harder to back away from a position you've talked yourself into. Of course you have no reason to trust me, the only real card I have to play right now is that you probably trust Magnussen a lot less because you know how terrible he is. You've met him." His phone buzzed and he tugged it out, frowning, starting to tap away with an apologetic grimace. "Sorry - bit of a situation. In Uruguay. I don't like the Moran family, you might as well know. I never particularly have done. But the reason I'm spending my entire Christmas here with that wretched man and my emotionally stunted brother is because however much I dislike him the last thing I want is him falling to Magnussen." He finished typing and put the phone away, looking back at Jim. "That's the position I'm in at the moment. I don't suppose you'd like to share a little more of yours?"

  
Jim listened and put to memory everything Mycroft had said but he still didn’t actually give him very much information. Still, it was enough. Jim didn’t think he had a lot to lose at this point. “My father is – well you know him. He’s not exactly pleasant. He showed a – grievous lack of concern for my care and Magnussen told me that if I did him a favor he would give me protection. That favor does involve Augustus Moran. Magnussen was pleased when I started up a physical relationship with Sebastian and had custody given to Watson.” Jim tried to keep it vague while still leaving Mycroft with a clear enough picture. He felt like he was playing a game with giants and he didn’t even know the rules.

  
"You're in a physical relationship with Sebastian?" Mycroft asked - not with shock, or surprise, just as a man clarifying details, his expression growing graver. "I doubt you'll answer if I ask you if this relationship is real for you or simply real for Magnussen but either way you do need to be careful. Magnussen will exploit, and ruthlessly, any close relationship you have. And Sebastian... well... he's not nearly as dangerous but he has a tendency to violence, especially when he's angry or hurt." He leant back in his chair, "However your relationships are your own concern, as are your arrangements with Magnussen. My concern is the information Magnussen receives. If you've been sent here to get some I would be incredibly grateful if you would let me supply it."

  
Jim shied away from the distinction, it was too uncomfortable to look at and Jim himself wasn’t sure anymore how much was put on for Magnussen and how much was for Seb. It felt like less was for Magnussen every day and that concerned him especially with Mycroft’s warning. “I know how Sebastian is,” Jim snapped back as he rubbed unconsciously at the wrist he sprained the first day they met. He watched Mycroft warily as he made his suggestion, trying to figure out if Mycroft was genuinely trying to help him or cover his own arse. “…If I give him bad information he’ll know. He’ll kill me. I can’t trust you.”

  
"It won't be bad information. It will be good information. Good enough for Magnussen, trust me." Mycroft looked at Jim gravely, a very small part of him wondering if there was something wrong with him, that he could only see Jim as a playing piece rather than a person. Jim's welfare, even Jim's life, didn't matter nearly as much as the potential parts Jim could play in getting rid of Magnussen. He managed a small smile, "At any rate, you have the entire Christmas holiday to decide for yourself - that's quite a luxury in terms of time..." His phone rang again and he pressed a button, "I'm terribly sorry, I do have to get this. Just remember, I have been where you are now, I know it's a difficult place to be in. Do not make the mistake of trusting Magnussen - I'm sure you won't, you look far too clever for that." He stood up and held the phone to his ear, moving closer to the window, "Hello? Yes? Sorry I'm in the middle of nowhere here... have you been in touch with JB he has all the notes from the Defence session including the ones that weren't actually... uh... noted."

  
Jim left, thinking Mycroft’s offer over and trying to work out if he was being led into a trap. He was tired and feeling lazy so he changed out of the suit and hung it up in Sebastian’s closet before crawling back into the other boy’s bed in just his pants. Jim just didn’t have enough information to make an informed decision. His thoughts went round and round until he fell into a light doze, spread out on his stomach and resting his face against his arms.

  
The conversation between Sebastian and his father started private and ended up loud enough to make Mycroft wearily apologise to the person on the other end of his call. Sebastian stormed upstairs afterwards, slamming his bedroom door open in a huff and hesitating at the sight from inside. Jim, beautiful skinny little Jim spread out arse up in his underwear half covered in a duvet. Quietly he shut the door, mentally thanked his mother for the condoms and then came over to the bed, shrugging his jacket off and loosening his tie before lying down next to Jim, watching his face and smiling.

  
Jim peeked his eyes open as Sebastian came in to the room just to check who was there before closing his eyes again. He traced Sebastian’s movement around the room just by listening to the soft sounds his feet made on the floor. The boy was angry, obviously, but he seemed to be calming down. When he laid down next to Jim he reached out blindly and touched Sebastian’s hair very briefly, “Okay? You seemed pissed.”

  
"Nah, same old shite. Stupid bastard." Sebastian was about to go it a 'you know what fucking dads are like' rant before remembering that Jim's father was about a hundred times worse and just shrugging instead. "It's an old argument and it gets older every fucking time. You looked good in that suit, although..." he gave a leer, "You look better without it..."

  
Jim rolled over onto his back and smirked, deciding to bring up Mycroft later, if at all. They hadn’t had sex since that disastrous night in the woods and Jim hadn’t come since their little scene in the shower. He didn’t want sex, not right now, not after last night, but fuck he wanted to come. He started touching himself tentatively through his underwear watching Sebastian’s reaction to see if this was really what he wanted right now. “Do you want to watch me?” His ears turned a little pink, he’d never done anything like a performance before but he wanted to touch himself and he wanted Sebastian to be there so it seemed like a natural thing.

  
Sebastian's jaw dropped at the suggestion and his eyes lit up. He nodded, giving a mischevious little grin, but really this seemed like the best option. Every time he touched Jim things managed to bollocks themselves up, so letting Jim get on with it might be the best idea. "Yeah... fuck... course I do..." he smilled, propping himself up a bit higher and loving the little pink blush over the top of Jim's ears.

  
Jim continued to masturbate over his clothes for a minute just to get himself hard enough before he stopped and reached out to stroke the exposed skin around Sebastian’s collar. “I want you to finish stripping me, will you help?” This was a little bit of a test to see how far Jim could push things before Sebastian would start touching without asking. He started playing with his nipple lazily instead, smirking and lying out across the bed languidly still feeling warm and fuzzy around the edges from his nap.

  
"Unhhh..." Was all Sebastian managed before sliding downwards, hesitating then laying a warm kiss just above Jim's bellybutton and then gently taking hold of the material of his underwear, sliding it slowly down his legs and laying another little kiss on his inner thigh as he did so. He looked up at Jim when he reached Jim's feet, seeing him all spread out and beautiful, "Just... you know... if -uh - if you need any more help?" He added hopefully.

  
“I think I’m good for now, thanks.” Jim’s smirk grew when he saw how effected Sebastian was already. He left one hand to touch his own chest while the other lazily worked over his cock, denying himself as much as he was Sebastian. He liked this, having some control instead of just giving it over to Sebastian. His breathing started to get uneven and he was fully hard now, Sebastian watching him made Jim feel self-conscious before but now it just added to everything and made it better. “I feel underdressed,” Jim breathed out. “Leave your suit on though. It looks good.” Even with the jacket and tie gone Jim just liked the fine shirt material and the way it ghosted over Sebastian’s skin when he breathed. 

Sebastian sat back, watching him and groaning as Jim requested he remained dressed. He felt a bit better at least with the tie off and his jacket gone - completely smart just wasn't him. "D-do you want me to put your tie back on... Sir..." he managed, biting back a moan, his skin shivering just at the sight of Jim.

  
Jim startled and stopped, watching Sebastian expressionlessly. “Don’t call me that.” He didn’t like the word and tried to get away without using it as much as possible. Moriarty had made Jim call him that when he was little and he _knew_ Sebastian called the sergeant that. The idea of being tied to that man in Sebastian’s mind was just disturbing. “You can stay the way you are.” Jim started to touch himself again, building up the friction and he leaned his head back against the pillow and watched Sebastian with heavy eyes, “I’m wondering how long it will take before you start touching yourself. How long do you think you can wait?”

  
Sebastian hesitated, afraid that once again he'd fucked things up, and mentally mourning the loss of one of the words he'd always enjoyed saying and thinking about when it came to sex. He lay back again, giving a relieved smile as Jim continued, quickly moving his hands away from his crotch and resting his head on them, "Mmmm... I'll wait as long as you want me to."

  
Jim huffed a little breath, still kind of shocked Sebastian was just doing whatever he told him to. It might not last but Jim could see from the set of his jaw that he was feeling stubborn about this. Jim stopped and bit at his lip for a minute while he internally debated with himself. “I want to suck you off. Like that. In your fancy clothes with you all stretched out underneath me.” Jim rolled over so that he was hovering over Sebastian and he brushed his hands over the fine material of Sebastian’s clothes.

  
Sebastian gave a helpless moan at him, unsure as to what he'd done to transform Jim from a snarling and snappy little thing terrified of loving contact into a desirable sex-kitten but not about to question it now. Locking his hands behind his head he rolled over, looking up with bright eyes and huffing gently. "W-won't move my hands. Promise. Oh fuuuuck..."

  
Jim unbuttoned and zipped Sebastian’s pants, carefully untucking his shirt. Sebastian looked unsure and Jim wanted to explain, “Seriously, it’s okay. It’s – better when you’re doing what I ask you to. I feel more relaxed and comfortable.” Fucking incredible who would have thought that sex could be good when he wasn’t being hurt or forced? Jim huffed a little laugh at his own internal sarcasm. “I’ll tell you if it’s not good, okay? And I’ll teach you how to put on a fucking condom while you give me some tips for giving head.” Jim pulled out Sebastian’s cock and started stroking it with a smirk. “To apply a condom your cock needs to be fully erect. I don’t think you’re going to have any problems with that. You do have condoms, right? Where are they?”

  
"I-guh-yeah... top drawer. A-and lube..." Sebastian got his breath back as he watched Jim and gave a grin, "I-yeah - much better when you tell me what to do. 'M not giving tips, that's what he... just... you'll be fine. Yeah? I mean I'm practically cumming from you looking at my cock at the moment I'm pretty sure your tongue..." He had to close his eyes just at the thought, and opened them giving Jim a smile. "This is... this is good." He tried tentatively.

  
Jim crawled over to the drawer and held it up, “Here you go, stored in a dark cool dry place and it’s not expired. Congratu-fucking-lations.” Jim was trying to keep it light so that Sebastian didn’t feel condescended to but fuck someone needed to teach him this shit. “Don’t keep it in your wallet because the friction wears it down and it will break. Now your cock looks pretty fucking hard, yeah?” Jim gave him another playful grope and opened the condom and put a few drops of lube inside it before pulling it on just a little past the head. “Now you leave about half an inch of room here at the tip for when you come, that way it doesn’t burst the condom. And then you just… roll it down.” Jim put the condom on, squeezing Sebastian’s cock a little as he went. “See how there’s no ripples? It’s pulled taunt, that’s good. Now you’re ready to go.” Jim was a little more nervous about this part, he’d only done this for someone once and had only done it as a way to finish another boy off after he’d used his hands it had only been for about a minute and hadn’t required much skill. Still, he took the head in his mouth and looked Sebastian in the eye while he tried to decide if he liked the taste of plastic in his mouth. Sebastian was of a substantial size and Jim would have to take it kind of slow if he didn’t want to choke himself.

  
"F-fucks sake could you be more unsexy this isn't a damn lesson..." Sebastian groaned, although to be honest the sudden unexpected lecture and the wrapping of plastic were doing wonders for stopping his cock from going off straight away as slender little fingers wrapped around it and a warm mouth suddenly closed over it. Fingers clenching his head arched back with an "Uh FUCK yessss... god Jim. Fuck..."

  
Jim smirked evilly and pulled his mouth away for a moment to pace himself, “You know what’s unsexy? Genital warts. I’m sure you’d rather learn all this from me then from your mother and a cucumber. She’d do it too. Maybe even find a dildo. Now stop complaining and just enjoy yourself.” Jim wasn’t angry, Sebastian needed to know the information and he’d appreciate it more if he was getting a blow job out of it rather than just learning. Sebastian had seemed to like what Jim was doing before so when he went back down on him Jim took a little bit more in his mouth and then twirled his tongue around experimentally, working out what bits felt good for Sebastian and got a reaction while he was using his hand on the rest of what he couldn’t fit in his mouth.

  
"Oh fuck - please don't suggest it to her." Sebastian closed his eyes with embarrassment just thinking about it. Jim's wicked little smirk wasn't helping much either, and he gasped again as Jim's head bobbed down, taking even more in, "Nnnnnn... f-fine I-I'm listening, I know how to use t-them anyhow. T-that's amazing..." The sergeant had given him a bj occasionally, but he'd stayed very much in charge the whole time, making it clear he was getting a massive favour and slapping Seb's hands away if he tried tentatively to join in. Now he felt part of it, rather than just being used for someone else's pleasure.

  
He _said_ he knew how to use them, but he’d also thought it was fine to use the wrong lubricant with them too so Jim thought that maybe a refresher was for the best anyway. It soothed his nerves. Jim started bobbing his head and occasionally working some tongue in while he stroked Sebastian. With his free hand Jim reached up and took Sebastian’s hand and guided it to the top of his head, showing him that he trusted him. There wasn’t much hair there to grab but he could still control his head if he was feeling like an arse. Jim didn’t think he would though.

  
Sebastian was more than pleased to be allowed to join in, smiling and gently stroking Jim's head as he moved back and forth. He opened his eyes as well, wanting to see the beautiful boy on top of him. His hand slowly moved down to cup just above Jim's ear, his fingers still stroking at the fuzzy head, and suddenly loathing Jim's dad for cutting it off. "Can't wait till your hair grows out..." He murmured, "It looked beautiful."

  
Jim grinned and popped his mouth off and gave his sore jaw a break while his hand kept moving. He thought his hand jobs were pretty stellar, Jim started with all of his little fingertips together on the head and then pushed down, twisting his wrist as he went and squeezing on his way back up. Certainly nothing to complain about. “Oh? You noticed I looked beautiful while I kneed you in the balls?” Jim grinned and reached into Sebastian’s trousers to give them a fondle and roll them in his palm. “Not too damaged I hope? Do you need me to check?”

  
"A-ahhh..." Jim was doing something... fantastic with his hands and fingers and Seb found his hips jerking up, biting his bottom lip with a moan as Jim's hand slid around inside his trousers. He free hand grabbed at the sheets and he squirmed, "Yuh-yes... c-check... n-no damage ..." He panted. This was very, very different from any sexual experience he'd had before, because he wanted Jim so utterly and completely and because every word the boy said drove him insane. Also because he knew, he _knew_ that if he hadn't wanted it, he could have rolled over and thrown Jim out the window and yet Jim was still in control. That was a new one.

  
Jim tugged Sebastian’s trousers down to his thighs, allowing himself better access to all of the other boy. He continued stroking him but moved his cock some so that he could bend down and mouth at his balls. At this point probably just breathing on them was going to be sensitive. Jim had never really pleasured another man there unless it was a quick grope for a hand job but he figured it wouldn’t hurt to try. Jim gave him a lick and looked up, “Is that good?” before trying to fit them in his mouth somehow. Exploring like this was strange and Jim didn’t want to do anything stupid but he also liked finding new ways to pleasure the other boy.

  
Sebastian moaned at the lick, gasping and grabbing the sheets as suddenly his balls were surrounded by wet eager heat, the occasional knock of teeth, the press of them together as Jim tried to seemingly swallow both of him. He preferred Jim's mouth on his cock, truth be told, but everything at the moment was new and exciting. His legs spread open eagerly and he gasped and nodded, "FUCK yes, unh... c-can you... umm... inner leg... just, maybe, bite a little..." He flushed, not at all used to asking for favours during sex, but he was flying pretty high and the thought of those perfect white little teeth nipping away at sensitive skin gave him an urge to try new things.

  
Jim was pleased in an odd way when Sebastian responded so eagerly underneath him, vindication in the bedroom was not a bad feeling. He popped them out of his mouth and wiped the corner of his lips where some saliva had gathered, “Yeah, course I can do that…” Jim scratched lightly at the inside of Sebastian’s thigh before leaving a little lick and then biting down sharply. He just took a bit of skin in his mouth and didn’t even think the marks would last overnight. This was fun, finding out how Sebastian would react and getting tricks. He continued stroking his own cock and with a quiet moan he finished in his own hand.

  
The nip was harder than he'd expected, his skin more sensitive, and Sebastian gave a yelp, his leg twitching away before returning to press against the side of Jim's face with a gasped, "Oh FUCK yes..." It send a tingle right down to his balls, his hard cock twitching against Jim's hand, his fingers sliding over Jim's skull while his other hand scrabbled desperately at the sheets beneath them.

  
Jim grinned at Sebastian’s reaction even if it was a tad bit startling with his head between Seb’s spread legs. He gave two similar nips to the inside of his other leg before stretching his mouth around Sebastian’s length and taking him in, bobbing his head while his hand worked quickly. Jim held onto Sebastian’s hip with his other hand to remind him to keep still and basically went to town – figuring that Sebastian was close already and a final push could send him over the edge soon.

  
Sebastian kept slightly more control at the two nips on the other side, now he knew what to expect, and then his whole body jerked as Jim's mouth was covering his cock, wet heat working around the condom as he strained to stop his hand clamping down on Jim's head and fucking him hard. It didn't take long through before, embarrassingly quickly, he was shaking, moaning and cumming inside Jim's mouth

  
He continued sucking until Sebastian would be almost too sensitive and then pulled away as he stretched his jaw a little and binned the condom. Jim plopped down on top of Sebastian and closed his eyes as his hangover headache spiked and he closed his eyes to block out some of the light. “I think that’s the first time I didn’t outright fuck it up.”

  
Sebastian whimpered as Jim continued to suck him, his hand falling over his eyes and then reaching up to wrap around Jim as the young man collapsed on top of him, "You? - oh god Jim you are always perfect, you were fucking wonderful, 's the first time I haven't tried to force you too far - unh..." He hesitated, "Do - do you want me to do you?" There were a few more condoms but Sebastian didn't feel capable of moving much right now, and certainly not of returning mind-numbing blow-jobs.

  
Jim shook his head as Seb’s arms wrapped around him, “This hangover is murder, rain check though.” Seb didn’t seem interested and Jim wasn’t bothered, he felt pretty miserable physically right now and just wanted to take a nap but there were things they had to discuss. Jim tilted his head so that his little chin pressed into Sebastian’s chest while he watched Sebastian. “You trust me right? And you keep saying that you – love me or whatever. What if I told you I want you to go to Eton like your father wants?” Jim started brushing Sebastian’s side with his fingertips so that he wouldn’t feel rejected.

  
Sebastian stilled as Jim said the words, not sure what he was meant to react to more - that Jim wanted him to leave the school he loved, or that Jim wanted him to do as his father said. He tilted his head back and closed his eyes, trying to force his brain to think and feeling the stirrings of anger thudding through him. So this was what it was all about. A leaden sort of weight dropped into his stomach and he didn't even feel secure enough to manage a sneer, just replied weakly and wearily. "Is that it then? That your assignment completed? Well done double-0-Jimmy. Go home with him, fuck him, get him to leave, were those Magnussen's orders?"

  
“ _What?”_ Jim asked, completely poleaxed by how wrong of an idea Sebastian had gotten. “ _No._ What kind of plan is that, huh? It’s _Magnussen’s_ school, he could have kicked you out over a hundred different things. He doesn’t need my help to do that.” Jim bent down and pressed a kiss to his ribs, trying to get Sebastian to calm down some. “It’s better for you to be at Eton. You already have a strong military background now, I’m sure if you wanted to enlist after you graduated you wouldn’t have any trouble but Eton looks good on your transcripts too. You know that you’ve been rethinking the academy anyway, with all this shit going on. It’s not – safe to be there. Fuck.” Jim was trying to work out how to explain this without making Sebastian all the more determined to stay. “You know how my father tricked you during that simulation? Magnussen will use that same tactic against me but I’m not a bastard like you,” Jim grinned shakily and kept up the soothing motion of his fingertips. “Right now you are a liability, not because of any flaw but because Magnussen will use you against me anytime I don’t agree to do something for him or I fuck up. I don’t want that – I feel shit enough as it is for this situation I’ve gotten you in. Do you understand why Eton makes sense?”

  
"I'm a liability..." Seb tried slowly, to see if that made any more sense. He knew he should be throwing Jim away from him and storming off right now but instead he just hugged the boy harder. "I won't be... I promise. I won't be any kind of liability at all, I swear. If they do anything like that to me I'll - I'll tell you. With my eyes. I'll tell you they aren't really fucking me. Besides, my father would go nuts." he gave a swallow and his hands tightened over Jim's body, "Please don't. Please don't make me fuck off to some dull school where I can't even hit people when they piss me off, especially not knowing you'll be stuck there, with him, and I won't be allowed to do anything about it." It didn't seem to register that of course Jim couldn't _force_ him to do anything.

  
“No Seb. Shit…” Jim was getting upset and doing his very best to hide it because he needed to come off as strong and confident. “Seb they wouldn’t pretend. They’d do it for real or Magnussen would really have you hurt somehow and I would just fold. Because it’s not – you know, worth it. I’d just do what he wanted instead.” Jim took a calming breath and tried again, “If you weren’t in the picture than this wouldn’t be a problem because I’d just tell Magnussen to fuck off and if he kills me then I’m dead and that’s the end of it. I wouldn’t have anyone he could manipulate me with. It’s not about you being weak or inadequate it’s about Magnussen being too fucking powerful. If I don’t end this now I’m afraid he’s going to own me for the rest of my life.”

  
Sebastian stayed silent for a while, still not really certain how much of this was coming from Jim and how much from Magnussen before he said, rather miserably, "If you want me to go to Eton I'll go to Eton. I'll just fucking miss that school, it was the only place I've actually done well in, where they were impressed with what I could do and... where I didn't get constantly into trouble for pissing around. I don't want to think of you being dead, or hurt, or injured, with me hundreds of miles away and unable to do shit about it." He scowled and hugged Jim tighter.

  
“I have John,” Jim muttered even though there was fuck all John could really do if Magnussen decided he wanted Jim in the ground. “He promised to glare at Magnussen until he felt guilty if he tried to kill me. I was in a bit of a state when we got back to the woods. You were so angry and I thought you were never going to speak to me again and Magnussen would just bury me in the woods.” He sighed and crawled up to press his lips against Sebastian’s briefly, it was the first time Jim had ever initiated a kiss on the mouth. “Sorry. I know its shit. The academy isn’t good for you though. Think about it, you should decide by Christmas or so if you want to get in to another school before the new term. You could do rugby or football, or er – there’s probably some rich boy sports to play.” Jim grinned teasingly. “You’d have to promise to send me a picture of that funny hat.”

  
"Yeah, yeah, fuck you." Sebastian mumbled unhappily, returning the kiss with a sigh. He guessed it was probably time to move on to proper schooling but still - no more survival trips, no more trips at all, no more training. His body slowly turning back into a desk body, loosing the strength he'd built up. Stupidly, he felt tears building up behind his eyes and kept them tightly closed because it was fucking embarrassing. Annoying as well, that the one boy he'd fallen for somehow didn't want him to continue doing the thing that seemed to make his life worthwhile. "Send me a picture of you starving in a ditch."

  
Jim bit his lip and sat up some, feeling shitty and inadequate. He’d gotten what he wanted and he didn’t understand why he still felt so crap about it. “I wish you could stay with me. I wish Magnussen was decent enough to leave you out of this, but he’s not. Believe me, I’m not thrilled either but this is the best way to keep both of us safe. I’ll do everything I can to get out from under his thumb yeah? Fuck I’m – I’m so fucking sorry for getting stuck in this mess.” Jim felt his already unsteady stomach clench up as the stress made him more nauseous. “It’s better this way,” he muttered quietly. “I could have just made you hate me. Would that be easier? I could do that.”

  
Sebastian groaned quietly, not wanting to think about it, to think about any of it. How much he'd been played, how much choice Jim really had. "Would've been easier from the beginning, 's too late now." He muttered. "If you'd continued stapling bits of me to the wall it would have been easier, although Mags was right, you'd have never got me to leave the damn place that way." He sat up, pushing Jim off him and clenching the back of his teeth to stop his voice hitching, scrubbing over his eyes and pretending it was tiredness. "'S not your fault you're stuck here. It's his. Just wish I could help you out of it, rather than being fucking banished. 'M going to get a drink of water, want one?" He padded towards the ensuite bathroom.

  
Jim rolled as Sebastian pushed him off, watching the other boy go unhappily. He pulled on his jumper and jeans from this morning, not wanting to bother with the suit. “We shouldn’t lie around all day. Let’s hydrate and you could show me the house? Or the grounds? Maybe you should see your mum.” It had been long enough that it was entirely possible she was back by now. Jim came up behind Sebastian and wrapped his arms around the boy’s waist loosely. “I know its shit. You don’t have to make a decision now. But you know the Holmes’ and how much they hate each other? Magnussen did that, I think because Mycroft did what I’m trying to do. I don’t want that to happen to you or to me. If you want me to piss off and go back at any point over break just tell me, okay?” Jim gave him a little squeeze and then grabbed for a cup of water and drank it down.

  
"Course I don't want you to go." Sebastian kissed the top of his head and then grinned. "ALright, lets stumble around the house. Nah, mum won't be back once she's started a shopping binge. She loves to spend her boyfriends moneys on as much as possible. She'll probably buy you a new wardrobe. I'll - I'll show you my dad's study, I think you'll need to know where it is."

  
Jim groaned and pressed his face between Sebastian’s shoulder blades. “The suit is too much already. Please tell me you’re joking.” He stilled a little when Seb mentioned the study but nodded. The sooner he could take a look at the computer, the better.

  
"I'm not joking." Sebastian laughed, "If it's any consolation it's not her money either - it's some rich Holywood fucker. She loves buying things. Always did. You should see my baby clothes I'm kitted out in fucking miniature Gucci. C'mon." He gave Jim another kiss and wrapped his arm around his shoulders, before tugging on a poloneck and jeans, figuring they'd be warm enough inside the house. "There's a lot of house to get around..." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: None


	14. I've Gotten What I Want and I Don't Need You Anymore

Jim and Seb spent the next few days with tensions running high. They’d gotten in a few more fights, lots of yelling and Jim threw something in a particularly frustrating moment. They always settled again though and usually ended up rolling in the sheets afterwards. They hadn’t tried for sex again after the first night there but they found plenty of other things to try now that they had almost unlimited privacy after a whole month of hiding in broom closets. Seb had just taken him down to see the stables and the other boy was going for a shower when Jim was on his way to the library. It was Christmas Eve and he had a few hours before they would all meet for dinner and a small celebration before the big party tomorrow. Jim was wearing a hoodie and jeans and his old trainers because he hadn’t been able to justify wearing the things Serephine bought him out to the stables. Jim knew he should have thrown these old things out by now but at this point they were all he had left of his life in the single room flat with his mother.

  
Mycroft was in the library, browsing a book with a look of bordom, and looking up as Jim entered, giving a small smile, "Mister Moriarty, this is an unexpected pleasure. Please don't wear that to dinner." Crossing quickly over to the door he shut it and then reached into his pocket, pulling out a USB stick. "Merry Christmas. I thought I'd give you your present now to save embarrassing scenes tomorrow. It's the files you need. From Augustus's computer. Well... it's the files Magnussen would be best placed to receive." He put the stick on a small walnut table and pushed it in Jim's direction. "Don't feel you have to get me something in return." He added dryly.

  
He was surprised and a little dismayed to see Mycroft there. Jim had been thinking about his offer of course but in the end he just couldn’t see anything to gain by helping Mycroft. He wasn’t a fan of Magnussen but he was invested in staying alive. Jim took the stick and slipped it into his pocket quickly. “Why should I do this for you and risk my neck? It’s all risk and no reward. I could give both drives to Magnussen and he’d reward me further. But I’m willing to hear an alternative offer.”

  
"That honestly depends what game you're playing." Mycroft said with a small humourless smile. "If you want to remain loyal to Magnussen then you're playing the short game. You're also an idiot. He'll kill you, in the end, or break you. I got out eventually, but only at huge personal risk and loss. I'm offering you a way out now, right at the beginning, with no loss at all." He nodded as Jim pocketed the USB drive and then gave a little shrug, "You could give both drives to Magnussen. But the day will come where you'll need protection against him, and it might be _nice_  if when that day came you actually had someone you could call on. Someone other than John Watson, who is a highly principled man with no power whatsoever."

  
“I don’t want to work for Magnussen, I’ve made that clear. However, I’d rather keep my skin more, that’s how I got into this mess in the first place. How do you propose to get me out with no loss at all? It’s not as simple as just handing over your drive and walking out the front doors. Forgive me if I don’t trust you without knowing the particulars.” Jim wouldn’t trust Mycroft even knowing all the details but it was still a risk he was willing to consider.

  
"There are too many particulars." Mycroft snapped, then took a deep breath and gave a smile, or at least managed to stretch his lips. "There are ways. I'm not asking you to trust me - I'm just asking you to keep your way out happy, and right now I am your way out. So far I've offered you information." He nodded at Jim's pocket, "Help, and a certain amount of dubious friendship. Magnussen had your father pretend to rape you in order to scare your boyfriend. Just... worth considering. And Magnussen allowed that to happen when he _liked_ you."

  
Jim tilted his head and smiled humorlessly as if seeing Mycroft for the first time, “You’re just like him except you let Magnussen do your dirty work instead of making threats yourself. If I do this will I be tied to you then? Expected to keep you _happy.”_ Jim paled when Mycroft brought up the simulation. “You couldn’t have known about that. It was just the five of us that knew which means you’re either in direct contact with my father or the sergeant because I _know_ Sebastian, John, or I didn’t tell you.” Jim didn’t like the idea that Mycroft was friendly with either of those two men.

  
Mycroft looked at him, then raised his eyes. "Jim, if you're going to play this game you need to get better. If you're not going to play this game you need to attach yourself to the safest person and accept that you'll have to take their word for things. Magnussen told me. The sergeant told him. Eventually. I do not have direct contact with your father, we did not part on the best of terms. I do expect you to be tied to me, and believe me, it will end up far, far more pleasant for you than being tied to Magnussen." He hesitated and then added, "I did try and get it out of Sebastian, just out of interest. He threatened to push me out of a window, which did rather confirm that something had happened. You might want to have a word with him about subtlety."

  
Jim snarled, “Why would Magnussen tell you? He doesn’t seem like the kind of man who brags about shit like that. Shouldn’t he want to draw your attention as far away from me as possible if he doesn’t want you interfering with my job?” That didn’t make sense to him but while Jim understood logic he didn’t understand the complicated game the two men were playing. It was a relief that his father wasn’t in contact with Mycroft at least. “What do you mean, ‘eventually?’ Did Mags really cut his cock off then?” Good. He deserved it. “I understand what you’re saying and I do think that you’re my best bet but I need to know what I’ll be asked to do to keep you _happy_ in the future.” He gave a grin when Mycroft said that Sebastian hadn’t told even if he hadn’t handled it the best way possible. This was why Magnussen had approached Jim and not Sebastian. “I’m not going this kind of job again – not going to fuck anyone for someone else again. I’m not anyone’s pet prostitute and besides I’m not very good at it anyway.”

  
"Eventually was the word Magnussen used, so it's the word I'm using." Mycroft watched him with an expression of mild surprised as he continued, and then gave a little shrug. "I'm not asking you to, uh, 'fuck' anyone. I'm not even asking you to stay with Sebastian although he's frighteningly loyal so if I were you I'd consider it. All I'm asking is that whenever Magnussen asks you for information, you let me supply it. In return I'll give you a number - whenever you're in trouble call it, or ask Watson to call it, and I'll see to it that you are removed from Magnussen as swiftly as possible with as little harm delivered to you as I can manage."

  
Jim paused and watched Mycroft warily, thinking through his offer. “I want John Watson to legally adopt me. He already said that he would except Magnussen won’t let him. You have strings to pull, don’t you? I don’t want to get passed around or run the risk of Magnussen taking me as his ward. I was under the impression that this information exchange was a onetime thing and then you pull me out. What happens if I decide to stay and continue doing it? What will you give me then?” Jim had nothing. Literally he had nothing except Sebastian and now John but he could be taken away at any whim of Magnussen’s. He needed to start considering his future because even if he was immediately pulled from harm he still had a shit record, less than stellar grades, no parents and no prospects. Mycroft could give him some of that if he played his cards right.

  
Mycroft looked at him, considering. "John Watson and I are... not on the best of terms." He said finally. "However from what I do know of him, he won't let that get in the way of what he believes it the right thing to do. It will all have to be done in secrecy, Magnussen can't know about it otherwise he will trace it back to me but... yes. I think I can see a way to having you legally adopted by John Watson, if you'd really want such a thing."

  
Jim tilted his head and sat down in a chair across from Mycroft. “Why wouldn’t I want such a thing? Do you really think that leaving myself open to being passed around by Magnussen is a good thing? Watson doesn’t hurt me and he’s on campus, which I need because the students have such limited access to the outside world. If you have another suggestion though, I’m all ears.”

  
"Oh, no I can see it's the best thing for you at the moment. It keeps you safe, it looks after you, it gives you a little home, which I'm sure you're missing at the moment." Mycroft had another go at the little smile. "I just... is it really the best thing for you in the long term? To have a... father? Legally responsible for your actions and of course the automatic recipient of your possessions upon death, barring a will. Not that I have any plans to kill you but if I were you I'd consider your position in the world at the moment. You are unattached, completely. And..." He hesitated and then finally added, "You are clearly already close to Sebastian. Becoming close to John Watson gives Magnussen another hold over you."

  
“What possessions?” Jim asked with blank incredulity. “I’ve got nothing except for what Sebastian’s mother recently bought me. My birthday is coming up soon, I’ll be sixteen then. That’s only two years until I’m eighteen.” Something else occurred to Jim and he felt something like the last bits of childhood fall away at the idea. “You could clear me to get emancipated when I turn sixteen. I don’t need anyone so long as Magnussen can’t pass me around to his mates as a reward for them or to punish me.”

  
"I'm not terribly concerned about John Watson inheriting child-sized Christmas clothes." Mycroft snapped at him. "Are you really this short-sighted? Would I do better simply threatening to hit you, or have your precious Sebastian be sent to a dull boarding school in Cornwell? Are you honestly planning on having no possessions whatsoever for the rest of your natural life? No dirty laundry, no people who might think that family is a source of weakness to exploit?" He took a breath and got a bit of control of himself. "I can certainly do that - it would be a lot easier in fact. I'll even set you up with a bank account and benefits - you'll have spare cash and a social worker who can pay as little attention to you as you'd like."

  
Jim smirked apathetically and shook his head, “I suppose it’s good to know that you can lose your patience eventually. I was starting to think you weren’t human.” He let his expression go blank and continued on more quietly, “I’ll stay away from John Watson until you can pull your strings.” Jim frowned and shook his head, “I don’t care if you hit me and Sebastian’s already going to Eton. He’s going to tell his father tonight at dinner.” Jim stood and walked over to the fire to try and warm up. “Everything sounds amendable then. I never told you but Magnussen was especially interested in a file called Somerset. I don’t know if that has any value to you of if you were already aware but that’s all I have. I don’t expect you thought he would tell me much anyway.”

  
"Sebastian's going to Eton?" Mycroft sounded surprised, "That's... unexpected. Probably for the best for both of you." He looked Jim over and gave what was actually a real smile, "Please change into a different jumper for this evening - Christmas Eve is rather a thing, and while there won't be as many guests as tomorrow there are still several important people joining us. Don't even try to pretend that the great and terrible Serephine Moran has restrained herself from buying you a Christmas jumper. The Somerset file. Well... I half suspected. That USB should see you through."

  
“I know it’s for the best that’s why I made him agree to it. I wouldn’t want what you did to Sherlock to happen to Sebastian.” Jim grinned mockingly, even as he knew it was a bluff. He was aware of course that there was tension between the two and it probably had to do with Mycroft’s ‘great personal loss’ but it was still a guess even if it was a good one. “Yeah I was exploring outside, Sebastian’s mother will probably try and dress me again don’t fucking worry about being embarrassed on my behalf or anything.” He muttered out sarcastically, “Oh he’s poor and a bastard how _fucking embarrassing.”_ Jim gave Mycroft a final angry look and then practically ran upstairs to his room. He hadn’t used it much because he’d slept with Sebastian every night. After being together virtually all the time for a month suddenly having different rooms was weird but Jim wanted a bath so he turned the water on very hot and sank down into the warmth, hissing as his skin turned red. At least here he could have a sulk without anyone criticizing him for it.

  
Mycroft stilled as Jim continued, his face going blank as he immediately assumed that Watson had spilt a lot more of the dirt than he'd thought, no wonder Jim didn't trust him. "She doesn't dress you because she feels sorry for you, she dresses you because she likes purchasing clothes." Was all he had time to murmur before Jim bolted. Taking a breath he sighed as his phone buzzed, automatically looking around as he saw it was from Magnussen. "Yes? Oh? Yes - yes I am at the Morans. Well. Goodness, how strangely thoughtful of Moran, I suppose the Christmas spirit has started affecting him. Oh I'm sure we can be civil for one day." He closed his phone and then stared at the wall for a few moments, "Well - this'll be even better than usual." He eventually murmured at it.

 

* * *

 

  
True to Mycroft’s predictions Sebastian’s mother did try and dress him and she did buy him a Christmas jumper. Jim didn’t even fight her on it, not seeing the point at all with everything else going on. He already had enough conflict in his life. Jim tried not to show how sullen he was feeling but he’d never celebrated Christmas much before, even so it would still be his first holiday without his mother and that was something he didn’t want to think about at all. He just couldn’t respond to the celebration with anything approaching genuine enthusiasm but he still tried not to bring attention to his bad mood. No one asked him about it so he was probably doing acceptably well. They were eating dinner and Jim sat quietly while other, more important people talked, feeling out of place and uncomfortable even with Sebastian sitting next to him. Still at least he had one saving grace. “Could you pass me the wine please?” Jim muttered quietly to Serephine who was sitting on Sebastian’s other side and she was closest to the wine.

  
Sebastian looked anxiously at Jim as he sat sulkily. He'd been like this a few times so far, and at a posh dinner, with new guests as well as the Holmes's he didn't really feel there was much he could do. At least he looked smart and respectable, and although he'd got a few glances nobody paid him much attention. Sherlock was being far more of an embarrassment - still curled up on the sofa but with pinprick pupils for eyes as he rapidly read his way through a book on comparative geology in a day-old suit. Serephine passed the wine over and generously poured him a glass murmuring, "You look stunning Jim darling, I knew that colour would bring you out."

  
Jim drank from his glass, not planning to get as drunk as he had at the beginning of the week but hoping all the same that he wouldn’t feel so shit if he could just relax. “You look very beautiful this evening. Thank you again for everything you’ve done. I can’t thank you enough.” Jim would keep Sebastian safe and send him away, that was the best thing for it. Jim should try and enjoy this time while he could but he couldn’t bring himself to care much about what he was going to lose when it felt like he’d already lost it. “Are you going to tell you father about Eton?” Jim murmured to Sebastian quietly.

  
"Oh goodness me all I've done is picked up a few clothes." Serephine blew him a kiss and then added gently, "I know it's a big deal for you, I know how much more money means to you. But do try to see darling that for me money matters very little. I have far too much of it and I enjoy spending it."

Sebastian scowled as Jim mentioned Eton, he'd wanted to survive as long as possible without having to face up to that. "Alright, alright. I can't just announce it over the fucking fish course can I?" And then, with a scowl, raised his voice. "Father I've been thinking about what you said and I agree. I should go to Eton. It'll be better for me." With that he went calmly back to eating fish while half the table gaped and Mycroft hid a smile.

  
“I understand,” Jim muttered back and he decided not to mention anything else. Anything more would go past politeness into being friendly and that seemed like a bad precedent to set in his current situation. Jim almost rolled his eyes when Sebastian announced their plans to the whole table but instead he reached out and took Sebastian’s hand under the table and squeezed his hand encouragingly. “Thank you.” He whispered, one of the few genuine sentiments he’d had today. It was a huge relief for him to know that Sebastian was going to be kept out of the way. For what, he didn’t know, but at least he wasn’t going to be stuck like Jim as a rag doll between two fighting children.

  
"What." Augustus snapped out in response, his anger mollified by the rest of the table but he gave Sebastian a suspicious look as his son stared back at him.

"What I said." Sebastian responded, trying to keep his voice light and not despairing. "I'll do it. Go to Eton for the remaining school time I have left. Starting next term if you like."

Augustus stared at him a little longer, suspecting a trap and then replied. "Yes. Well. Excellent. Obviously they're all on their winter break right now but I shall, yes, get in touch with the school as soon as I can. Well done." There was a somewhat awkward pause and then the chatting resumed. Sebastian ignored Jim and continued with eating.

  
Jim took his hand away after a minute, not letting the rejection hit him. It was good that Sebastian resented him, he was all the more likely to move on after he went to Eton. That was for the best, as Sebastian had said. After a minute Jim gave up on dinner because the choice was between sitting there for fuck knows how many courses or breaking something. So he stood and made his way over to Sherlock, still holding his wine and he sat down on the couch without asking if he could. “Sherlock, right? I’m Jim.” He didn’t especially care if the boy was an arse, at least he wasn’t angry at Jim right now and he didn’t want anything from him.

  
Sherlock glanced up at him, let his eyes flicker over to the table and then said "Yes, I know. Jim Moriarty. Very much not James Moriarty."

  
Jim let himself smile a little, trying to be encouraging. “Good, I’m glad you remember. This party is very dull isn’t it?” He sipped at his wine and avoided looking at the table. Sherlock didn’t seem like the kind of person who would be interested in small talk so Jim figured he could do away with subtlety. “You don’t get on very well with your brother. Would you like to do something that will give him a splendid headache?”

  
Sherlock looked at him dubiously, not entirely sure what Jim was getting at, "I don't give a damn about my brother, and I'm not about to get myself mixed up in his nonsense no matter how much of a headache it causes him." He turned back to the book and added with a little smirk, "Besides, I'm sure you're far more interested in causing Sebastian Moran a headache, which again I couldn't be less interested in. Your jumper cost about £200 by the way, so don't spill anything on it."

  
Jim looked down at his sweater with barely concealed horror. “It’s a _jumper._ You’ve got to be fucking kidding me…” He couldn’t believe she’s spent that much. Jim gave a little huff as Sherlock turned him down but he wasn’t deterred. “What are you interested in then? Whatever you’ve been shooting in your arm? Care to share? Just one time, I’m feeling lousy and it’ll piss your brother off. I can do you a favor later but I don’t think the money is going to hurt you any.”

  
"You don't want to know how much her dress cost." Sherlock said dryly, his eyes flickering a little as Jim mentioned drugs. "That's my party trick over - price of clothes. Most people leave now, before I start delving a bit deeper." He looked up at Jim and shook his head, "Just one time? It doesn't really work like that. I'm not about to get you hooked as well, it's an expensive habit and impossible to break." He hesitated and then gave a little shrug, "I've got some weed upstairs if you're determined to drug yourself up one way. I don't think anyone will miss us."

  
Jim grinned but it didn’t reach his eyes, “I like deeper. You can tell me more about your party trick upstairs.” Jim squeezed the inside of Sherlock’s left elbow where his marks were hidden. “You’re so fucking chivalrous. I’m interested in whatever you have. They won’t miss us, they don’t want anyone around who isn’t exactly like them. Come on, show me to your room?” Jim stood and finished his wine before leaving the glass on the little table next to the couch.

  
Sherlock shivered a little as Jim pressed against the needle-marks, turning in disgust and putting the book away. "You work for Magnussen don't you? Wonderful, I wonder what he'll do to me this time." The table were mostly ignoring them, although Augustus gave a curt nod as they stood up and left the room. The guest quarters were upstairs and Sherlock's was an attic room, lavishly converted but still one of the smaller rooms. "My brother doesn't want me around because I embarrass him." He said, fumbling around under the bed for a small box, which he brought out. "He doesn't like seeing what's happened to me. He thinks it's his fault. Have you done this before?"

  
Jim frowned and followed quickly behind him, “If Magnussen has any plans for you he hasn’t told me and I’m certainly not involved. You just seem like the only person who actually has anything interesting going on.” He looked around Sherlock’s room which was surprisingly messy for all the work the cleaners did. “I’ve never injected anything before. I snorted it before though, had it on my gums a couple of times at parties. Just a little is fine.” Jim sat down on the bed and leaned back on his hands, posture relaxed and open.

  
Sherlock looked at the box for a while and licked his lips, then pushed it back under the bed. "Line of charlie then. That's safe enough. Ought to wake us both up after that mind-numbingly dull dinner." Opening the side drawer he tugged out a little bag of white powder resting on a metal tray and started trying to ineffectually tug a blade out of the razor next to it. "Magnussen's finished with me. There's not much left he can do with me, I mean I'm already addicted to most chemicals under the sun and all my prospects are gone." He looked at Jim steadily through red-rimmed eyes. "What on earth does he want with you? My brother had status and power. You have nothing."

  
Jim watched him with vague curiosity, noting his behaviors and the carefully concealed desperation he acted with and hoped to god he never ended up like that. “That sounds good then. You don’t normally share with other people do you? Does that make me special?” Jim tilted his head and smirked. “Dunno, you can tell me how much an item of clothing costs just by looking at it – that has to be valuable somehow.” Jim joked weakly. Sherlock’s gaze was unnerving and if Jim wasn’t already feeling so shit he might have looked away. “I don’t really know what he wants with me. I was vulnerable and he used that. Apparently I’m Sebastian’s type as well, I expect that had something to do with it. Here, let me help.” Jim broke open the top of the razor and carefully handled a blade and gestured to the bedside table.

  
"Who would I share with? I'm clean if that's what you're asking." Sherlock responded, letting Jim take the razor and watching him line up the powder. Opening his wallet he pulled out a crisp fifty pound note and rolled it up in preparation, hesitating and then handing it to Jim with a small smile. "Only the best here - you first then." He took the razor and marshalled his own little line. "The clothing really is a party trick. It's a safe thing to say and it unnerves people enough to make them move on to find someone else to talk to. I can tell a lot about people. I'm always amazed nobody else can. it's like living amongst the blind, like people's brains are clouded by cotton wool." His voice sounded frustrated. "It's... marginally better when I'm doped up. Easier to concentrate on just one thing. Sebastian just wants to fuck you. Or did you mean Magnussen?" He frowned and looked away, "I... I don't even want to guess what he wants. I can't read him very well."

  
“I meant Magnussen, I can’t read him very well either.” Jim shook his head and almost cracked a smile, “Not what I was asking but that’s good to know you are clean.” He brushed Sherlock’s fingers with his before taking the razor and sorting out their lines. Jim was pleased somehow when Sherlock gave him the first go. He held the rolled up note carefully and inhaled deeply exhaling hard as it hit him pretty much instantly. Jim sniffed and rubbed at his nose with his sleeve to make sure there wasn’t any leftover powder around his nose. He listened though as Sherlock talked about his trick, “Do me then. What can you tell about me?”

  
"Are you sure you really want to hear? Most people don't." Sherlock took the note off him and then hesitated, glancing over him. "Most I know already, I knew when we first met. Poor, obviously, mother recently deceased, but you're not living with your father because your father's abusive - instead you're being looked after by someone else, although... you're still getting hit by... someone? Probably not him given that I now know he's John Watson. Sebastian Moran is completely besotted by you, he wants to fuck you, so far you haven't put out - although the two of you still fool around, hmm, your father is psychologically bullying you but hasn't been physically bullying you for a while, he certainly used to, your mother was neglectful, but physically, mentally and emotionally, you still miss her, probably more than you should." He glanced at Jim and raised his eyes, "Not properly vaccinated, got through a few childhood diseases, that's interesting, still it adds to the picture... ah. Suicide. Your mother committed suicide."

  
“Very good,” Jim was impressed even if he felt a little sick and he was resisting smacking the boy on principle. He _had_ asked. “Mostly right. We did have sex. And it was the Sergeant that hit me.” Jim sat back on the bed and patted the spot next to him, no reason Sherlock should have to sit on the floor. “You’re very bright. That’s kind of incredible. I can work out what tipped you off about most of it but some of it had to be guesswork.” Jim’s heart was racing and between the coke and the alcohol he was feeling pretty good. 

"I don't guess." Sherlock said bleakly, "Everyone thinks I do, but I don't. I misjudged the sex though, it was the way you were walking. I'm... not good at judging sex. Not really my area." He pulled himself up onto the bed and lay down, his legs dangling over the side and his feet touching the floor, letting his eyes close. "I'm not just very bright, I'm incredibly bright. Thank you for not hitting me. Sebastian did."

  
Jim could see that Sherlock was irritated about his guessing comment, “That’s even more impressive if you aren’t just making assumptions.” Jim turned his body towards Sherlock and laid down next to him before reaching out and fiddling with a button on his shirt that was undone. “What do you mean it’s not really your area?”

  
"I don't do sex." Sherlock replied, putting an arm over his eyes to block out as much light as possible and not reacting to Jim touching him. "It's an area I find more difficult to deduce, I need to read up more on the theory, obviously." He pushed his arm back and then opened his eyes, looking up at Jim, "How about you?" He asked curiously, "Have you got cotton wool over your eyes as well? Have you tried reading me? Or Mycroft? Sebastian is far too easy - he's a standard issue upper class bully with the unfortunate combination of brains as well."

  
Jim shrugged lightly, briefly touching Sherlock’s chest with his fingertips while he continued to mess with the button. “I don’t think I could do as well as you. You’ve obviously worked at your – deductions and made it into a skill. I think I’m better at working out what other people want rather than who they are. I could help you though, with your theory. No sex, just – science.” He wasn’t sure exactly what he was doing but he had a general plan in mind and if Sherlock turned him down completely then it would only be a minor setback. He just wouldn’t get the same flare in his results.

  
Sherlock looked at him, turning with a confused glance and then looking down at the fingers playing with his buttons. "Are you sure you haven't been sent my Magnussen?" He asked, but with curiosity more than suspicion. "It would be a good move for him, to try and trap me with another clever mind, someone he thought I could maybe 'relate' to, someone I would be intregued by. If it wasn't for the fact that Mycroft has already shown he's more than happy to throw me under the bus... go on then." He looked at Jim, slightly imperiously. "Kiss me. Show me this 'theory'. At least I can trust you not to do something stupid like think you're in love with me. You can even take a picture if this is for blackmail. Are you pretending to be underage?"

  
Jim grinned and crawled on top of him but was careful not to lean over him in case he felt boxed in. “No, no no… see you aren’t very good at working out people’s motivations. Try harder. I’m not going to hurt you or fuck you over, but I am using you. And giving you a little something in return for your trouble. But can you work out why?” He reached down to start unbuttoning Sherlock’s shirt, “ _Are_ you intrigued by me? I won’t be insulted if you aren’t. You don’t strike me as a person who cares about very much.” Jim bent forward and balanced a hand on Sherlock’s chest while he kissed him, trying to show him what technique he knew. After a minute he started stroking the man’s sides as he freed his shirt from where it was tucked in to his trousers. Jim rocked his hips carefully – the sensation maybe wouldn’t be a lot through their clothes but it was a promise or an invitation. Jim was too caught up in not having to think for a few minutes to work it out. He didn’t really know what the pretending to be underage comment was about, Jim _was_ underage, Sebastian was only sixteen, how old did Sherlock _think_ he was? It didn’t really matter, Jim found it more of an amusement than anything and rather wished he could see Mycroft’s face if he worked out what they were doing.

  
"What are you giving me in return?" Sherlock asked, a little confused, "Using me - to annoy Sebastian? Is that really it? I'm insulted. Last time I was used it was to fuck over the entire system of English government so this is a bit of a step down." He opened his mouth as Jim kissed him, his eyes flickering a little and giving a small gasp as his cock jumped in response to the movement. "Oh I see. Yes. That - that does make sense." He looked at Jim steadily as he moved, although a slight flush marked his cheeks. "I don't 'care' about things but I do find them fascinating. Just not people. People are dull and boring and really crushingly irritating. You're slightly less dull although this, this is... disappointingly normal. Fooling around with a house-guest to annoy your boyfriend."

  
“The pleasure of my company?” Jim replied sarcastically. “You’re close but not quite there yet. It’s all a bit more dramatic than that. I’m not trying to annoy him or make him jealous. I’m trying to hurt him. Can you work out why?” Jim ran his hand through Sherlock’s hair, curious about the texture of his curls. Fuck Jim missed having hair. Sherlock open his mouth and Jim slipped his tongue in, careful not to use too much since Sherlock seemed kind of uptight and not like he’d enjoy playing tonsil hockey. Jim sucked his lip into his mouth until it was red and swelling. Coincidentally like other parts of him. He bent forward so that he was balancing on his knees and reached back to fondle his cock through his pants. The drugs were probably helping with that. “You’re fucking beautiful, you know that? But your face looks like someone shoved shit under your nose.” Jim chuckled under his breath and moved his mouth to Sherlock’s neck and then his chest.

  
"H-how can I be beautiful if I have a screwed up face..." Sherlock gasped, feeling the pulse of blood in his lip and indeed the swelling feeling of his cock and suddenly this all seemed very... wrong. Pushing himself up onto his elbows he looked down a little disapprovingly at his own cock and then shook his head. "You're underage. I can't. I'm a good ten years older than you -" His voice trailed off at the word ten years... realising that he would have been Jim's age when Magnussen had been twisting him around and he gave a shudder. "John Watson isn't quite as pure white as he thinks he is." He managed, his face twisting even more. "Keep kissing me. I like it. But we're not going to have sex. I have no idea why you want to hurt your boyfriend, but I suspect because he likes it. He enjoys getting pain almost as much as he enjoys giving it."

  
Jim grinned and bent down to mark Sherlock’s neck while he gasped, “You’re beautiful when you look like that.” He straightened up quickly when Sherlock sat up, trying to work out what the hang up was. He was a little surprised to hear that Sherlock was that much older than him, he looked about twenty. “What’s John got to do with this? And just for future reference bringing up someone’s parents or – guardian is probably not something you should do in situations like this. Theoretically. And I already said we weren’t going to have sex, I doubt you have any supplies.” Jim sighed and shook his head, “Wrong again. I’m hurting him so that when he goes off to Eton he’ll move on and not get me in trouble with Magnussen, see how that works?” Jim was pleased at least that Sherlock enjoyed kissing him and Jim gripped the back of his neck and pulled him towards him so that he could oblige his request.

  
Sherlock closed his eyes for the kiss again, letting himself relax as far as he could with the powder twitching through him, "I'm not bringing up Watson in his capacity as your parent." Sherlock sighed, making a mental note that _all_ relationships were complicated and insane, "But in his capacity as my... as what he felt for me. What he wanted to feel for me. What he wouldn't let himself feel for me. Did you know he punched my brother through a door?" He gave a little frown, pushing back to sit up against the wall and almost unconsciously stroking over Jim's wrist and forearm, enjoying the smooth touch of pale skin. "I see it's all incredibly complicated. You're hurting him because you think it's better for you to hurt him than for Magnussen to hurt him? Well. He may prefer that. I don't know. I don't really care. I don't particularly like Sebastian Moran." His hand slid up as far as it would go and then Sherlock bit his lower lip, bruised and full from the kisses. "Could you... would you take your jumper off? Would that be alright?"

  
Jim relaxed as Sherlock did, enjoying this for how uncomplicated it felt. There were no ugly emotions tied in, he was showing Sherlock how to enjoy something and enjoying himself in the process and that was all there was to it if he ignored how torn up Sebastian was going to be at the end. He pulled away though when Sherlock started talking about John, “He what? You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. I guess I asked him about molesting the wrong Holmes.” That was _weird_ thinking about John and Sherlock but honestly it was none of his business. He thought it was nice that Sherlock wanted to touch him back, wanted to see him and Jim pulled his jumper off over his head and tossed it on the floor. The bruises on his hips were still fading but they did look better than they had when he’d first gotten here and Jim didn’t think Sherlock would mind them.

  
"He never molested me, he wouldn't be so crude. He... felt for me though." Sherlock sighed and looked down. It had been nice, nice to find someone who seemed impressed with him rather than annoyed, someone who seemed to genuinely want to help him, and for him to be happy. But Magnussen had far more power, and the drugs had far more power, and John Watson hadn't wanted to get too close for fear of a relationship that couldn't happen. He watched interested, as Jim stripped the jumper off, tugging his own shirt away so he was topless and reaching out with long cool fingers to stroke the bruises. "This wasn't your father." His eyes darted around the area. "Bent over, held down, by someone stronger, taller... taller than Sebastian... oh." His fingers fell away and his eyes widened in shock. "Were you... I'm sorry."

  
Jim thought Sherlock was being honest and that eased some of his misgivings about John. It didn’t matter though anyway, he’d only be his guardian for a few more weeks. Jim clenched his jaw and resisted the urge to get up or look away as Sherlock touched his bruises and drew his own conclusions. “He didn’t hurt me. Just tried to scare me a little. Still got him fired for it though. This is also probably not something you should talk about if you’re trying to get someone into your bed.” Jim rocked down again, not wanting to talk anymore. He rolled over on his back and tugged Sherlock along until he was on top of him. “Do you know how to make someone feel good?”

  
"I'm not trying to get you into my bed." Sherlock answered helplessly, looking down at him with confused and drugged eyes, "No, not really. Why would I want to make someone feel good? Usually I just make people feel uncomfortable." His hands ghosted over the bruises again, lightly, drawing away as if the area was hot to the touch. "I'm... I'm really not sure I should be screwing around with an underage boy who's been threatened with physical abuse." He looked down at Jim warily, "You're very short, I sort of preferred it when I wasn't squashing you. Can we kiss again?"

  
Jim rolled his eyes and took Sherlock’s hand away from his hip and moved it closer to his crotch encouragingly. “You make others feel good because a lot of the time it makes you feel good too. And if it isn’t enough a good partner will return the favor. For Christ’s sake I’m turning sixteen in three weeks and you aren’t going to fuck me, I don’t think you’re really sex offender material.” He snorted, “You aren’t squashing me, and I can’t help it that I’m short. Kiss me, touch my chest, you can touch me down there if you want to but if you’d prefer not to I’m hardly going to force you. Stop thinking so much. Relax. Just do what seems natural. Experiment.”

  
"None of this seems natural." Sherlock grumbled, patting his cock a few times and then sitting back, looking down at Jim's body curiously. A few more pats to his crotch and then Sherlock's fingers were exploring his skin, running over old scars and occasionally murmuring the name of whatever he thought had caused them, right every time. "Drugs make me feel good. Reading people makes me feel... fairly satisfied. Finding out new information makes me feel satisfied. Patting the crotch of an underage boy with bruises doesn't do much for me." He moved his hand away, "You can touch it though. I've had people wank over me before. It usually works out for the best that way. It's... um... it's easier to kiss you when you sit up."

  
Jim huffed an exasperated breath, “That’s because you’re doing it wrong. This isn’t a body search, you have to be more forceful about it or else you aren’t going to get enough friction.” Jim took Sherlock’s hand again and showed him how to do it properly while his breath caught and his eyelids fluttered briefly. “It might be easier to kiss that way but it’s not nearly as fun.” Jim pulled him down closer so that Sherlock was laying over top of him, “You aren’t going to squish me, just balance on your elbows. Like that. Good.” Jim bent up and kissed Sherlock, rolling one of the man’s nipples around with the pad of his thumb and trying to see if he could coax him out of his formal shell.

  
"I ..." Sherlock made a bit of a face as Jim tugged his hand down to rub around his cock. It was the first time he'd touched another cock, even through layers of material it felt odd, hard and curved in a way that was clearly different to any other body part, "I need friction? Why do I need friction? Should you have friction as well?" It was fairly interesting watching Jim's eyelashes flutter but his hand dropped away as soon as Jim stopped holding him, trying to follow the instructions until he was above Jim, "Can we kiss again now - ah good..." he opened his mouth eagerly as Jim's lips met his, closing his eyes and enjoying the wet soft sensation, opening them and freezing as the door opened and Mycroft appeared, looking completely stumped to see them both half naked and on top of each other.

  
Jim was in the process of pressing his hips up against Sherlock’s and rubbing against him as he ran his hands over the man’s back and through his hair. When Mycroft came in Jim was in a rather unfortunate position with one hand buried in Sherlock’s hair and the other gripping his arse and his tongue in the man’s mouth. Sherlock froze above him and Jim figured being walked in on by your brother was probably a bit of a mood killer. “Hello Mycroft,” Jim grinned and watched him with dazed eyes, head spinning from the drugs as it mixed with the alcohol in his blood. “I surprised you! Ha!” He let out a little laugh and poked at the hickey he’d left on Sherlock’s neck.

  
Mycroft looked at them both and then came over, sitting primly down on the edge of the bed and dabbing a finger into the line of coke before dabbing it into his gums, giving a little sigh, "Well done Sherlock, just when I think you can't find any new lows, you manage to hit one. Doing drugs with Magnussen's underage prostitutes is far, far below where I thought you'd hit."

Sherlock pushed himself back up, leaning against the bed sat up and petulantly pulling Jim up with him. "He's not a prostitute."

"He's fucking Sebastian Moran for money and information, and he's fucking you, quite possibly for the same reasons." Mycroft said, dabbing onto a bit more of the cocaine. "And it's illegal. Drugs and illegal hookers in Moran's house, with Holmes's brother. Magnussen must be breaking out the champagne by now. Hmm? Do you ever _think_ Sherlock?"

His voice turned into a vicious hiss as Sherlock petted Jim protectively and stubbornly repeated, "He isn't a prostitute."

  
Jim almost felt bad hearing Mycroft go on – he hadn’t thought it was a big deal. Sherlock did drugs anyway and they hadn’t done anything except kiss. It was rather odd he thought that Sherlock was acting almost protectively, not doing anything to defend his actions, only insisting Jim wasn’t a whore. Not because it would make him look better to Mycroft but because Sherlock knew Jim wasn’t. “I’m really not a prostitute. I just wanted a bit of fun, everyone’s dressed.” Mostly. Jim grabbed his jumper and pulled it over his head as he handed Sherlock his shirt. “Nothing inappropriate happened, don’t get your panties in a twist.”

  
Mycroft watched him steadily, eyes flickering between the two of them as Sherlock grumpily dragged his shirt on and muttered, "Don't worry, brother _dear,_ if this does get into the press and they start snooping about I'll be sure to insist I'm adopted." He pulled the shirt over his shoulders but didn't do the buttons up. "I'd storm out but this is my room. Don't have him killed. You can't just have people killed when they do things you don't like."

"I'm not _going_ to have him killed." Mycroft snapped, glaring at Jim, "At the moment, if he really isn't collecting this for Magnussen, although as yet I have no reason to believe he isn't, he's more useful to me alive and functioning."

Sherlock languidly stretched himself passed Jim and over to the bedside table, where he started marshalling another little line of coke, "He's not. He's just trying to irritate Moran. The younger Moran. That's really all he's here for. I mean it Mycroft."

Mycroft started to calm a little, nodding slowly and breathing deep, "If he wants to irritate Sebastian Moran there are far, far, easier ways to do it. For example, I irritate Sebastian Moran by simply inhaling oxygen."

  
Jim rolled his eyes, “I _told_ you I’m not trying to irritate him. I’m trying to piss him off enough that he doesn’t want to see me again after he goes to Eton. I thought you’d approve of my plan even if you don’t like my methods, Mycroft.” He was high and starting to get irritated as Mycroft continued to get pissed over some kissing. “Seriously we weren’t even doing anything. That mark on his neck is going to be enough to make Sebastian mad. I didn’t take any photos or push him. Everything was consensual.”

  
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry - clearly I'm being far too paranoid about Magnussen. He's used my brother to get to me before and -"

"And it _failed_ before." Sherlock snapped, grabbing at the rolled up bank note and re-rolling it tightly before inhaling another line. Collapsing back onto the bed he tugged at Jim's jumper, "Can I kiss him again or have you both finished with me." Despite his age he sounded like a sulky child.

Mycroft rolled his eyes, "One more, one more kiss if you both have to. I take no responsibility for Sebastian Moran's actions when he finds out. I... do approve of the sentiment, even if I really don't approve of my brother being used to carry it out. I'm not sure it'll work though - Sebastian Moran is not very predictable and there's a high chance it'll backfire on you."

  
Jim moved obediently to lay overtop of Sherlock again as he was tugged by his jumper. “You don’t approve of me using your brother? Does that mean you are volunteering, Mycroft? And I fucking know my own bo- Sebastian. If he beats the shit out of me he beats the shit out of me, it’s not like he hasn’t done it before. If you approve of the sentiment then maybe you’d be so kind as to go back downstairs and make some insinuations about where I am right now and leave me to ruin my life in peace, please.” Jim took the note and snorted the last line of coke, tightening his hand around Sherlock’s wrist at the head rush and bend down to kiss him feverishly just to make Mycroft uncomfortable so he would leave.

  
"If this ends up in the newspapers you can forget about any kind of independence from foster care." Mycroft said gravely, "I'll go down and prime Sebastian, please don't come running to me if he explodes in your face. Sherlock, don't go all the way, you'll catch something." With that last snarky remark he left, as Sherlock gripped Jim's upper arm and kissed him hard, starting to get the hang of this form of affection and rather hoping Jim wouldn't get the shit beaten out of him so he could have it a few more times before the boy left.

  
Jim gave Mycroft the finger but his eyes were closed and he thought Mycroft might have turned his back. He kissed Sherlock, pleased that he seemed to finally be getting into it. Maybe one day he’d be more open to trying a relationship with someone like John. That thought was just too weird and Jim let it go before he had to dwell on it any longer. After a minute Jim pushed him away and ran a quick hand through Sherlock’s hair. “Alright, I’ve got to go cause a scene. I’m really sorry if he hits you. You might want to lock your door after I leave.” He stood and checked his reflection in a nearby mirror, jumper rumpled and red lips with a little bit of white powder still around his nose. Jesus, Jim fucking hated himself. It was too late though, Mycroft was already stoking the flames and Jim had to commit to this to keep Sebastian out of the crossfire. It was a kindness. He still felt fucking empty. Jim left Sherlock’s room and headed back down to the party.

  
"I'll lock the door. You are very odd, wanting him to hit you, to hate you." And then he added a "Good luck." As Jim left. Standing up, he crossed the room and locked the door then lay back down on his bed, steepling his fingers as he tried to work his head around what had been going on, and how relevant feelings were to the whole business.

 

* * *

 

 

 Serephine was in front of the drinks cabinet when Mycroft got back so he slid into her seat, giving an ingratiating smile to Sebastian, who glared sullenly back at him. "Oh dear, I can't find Sherlock _anywhere._ It is so awkward when he disappears at things like this. You - you don't know where Jim is I suppose?"

  
Jim was displeased to see that everyone was still eating. That wasn’t an ideal environment for this so hopefully they could get up to a bedroom because Sebastian lost it. Mycroft was sitting on Sebastian’s other side and Jim plopped down in his own seat in time to hear Mycroft’s question. “Your bother’s in his room. Leave him alone Mycroft, you know he doesn’t like these parties. At least he isn’t embarrassing you when he’s not here.” Jim was too wrapped up in what was going on with himself to thank Mycroft for running interference.

  
"Where did you sneak off to." Sebastian turned to him with a laugh that died away as he caught Jim's appearance, rumpled and flushed, coked up and buzzing. Uncertainly he frowned, giving Jim a poke and lowering his voice. "Where did you fuck off to, and where's the magic dust? Didn't know you took that sort of stuff." He glanced uncertainly at Mycroft, "What's up?"

  
Jim steeled himself and took the plunge, “It’s none of your business, yeah? Sherlock and I got bored so we went up to his room.” He smirked humorlessly, “You don’t actually know very much about me, do you? I mean you’ve known me for what? Less than two months? And that school isn’t really a great environment to get to know someone.”

  
Sebastian's frown deepened in confusion and Mycroft rolled his eyes. "For goodness sake Sebastian." He snapped, glancing sideways at Jim with an 'I-hope-you-know-what-you're-doing' look, "Jim's been upstairs fucking his head over while turning his trick on my brother."

Sebastian's confusion if anything deepened and he looked at Jim nonplussed, "You've been, what? Doing drugs with Sherlock? Why the hell would you, he's a twat..." He looked over Jim, taking in his rumbled appearance and gave a little growl, "Alright, that the fucks going on." He kept his voice low, above the chatter of the table. "Jim?"

  
“Fuck off Mycroft,” Jim snarled as he continued the game. “He wanted to. Sherlock’s an adult and he can make his own choices. You don’t know anything about it.” He turned to Sebastian half angry and half condescending. “Nothing’s going on, Mycroft’s just running his mouth like usual.”

  
"He wanted to what..." Sebastian gripped Jim's upper arm and, making a face at his father, steered him off the table, shuttling them both into the lounge, "What's Sherlock making his own adult choices about... sorry." He let go the tight grip on Jim's arm and managed to give a grin that was half a smirk, "What are you up to - are we fucking with the Holmes boys? Can I join in? There's fuck all else to do."

  
Jim resigned himself as Sebastian gripped his arm and dragged him away from the table. The lounge was as good as anywhere Jim thought. God fucking damn it why was Sebastian determined to make this so difficult? “You stupid stupid boy do you really not get it? I was upstairs with Holmes, using his drugs and then I sucked him off. Mycroft worked it out in about a eleven seconds how long is it going to take you?”

  
Sebastian stared at him, confused and uncertain and then gave an awkward laugh, "What? You were... _what?"_ The laugh stopped as it hit him that it wasn't a joke and he took a deep breath. "Fuck. Well. Why are you telling me? Is that it then? You're chucking me for Sherlock Fucking Holmes?" He gave a little growl and scowled at Jim, "What, finally found someone to be insanely clever with, did you?" His fists were clenching and unclenching by his sides, "No. it's fine. This works well. Because you know what? If you've decided to cuddle up with Sherlock Holmes I don't have to go to fucking Eton, do I? I only went there for you. To _protect_ you. I was happy to give up the only thing that's ever made me feel fucking worthwhile. But now I don't suppose you'll give a shit if Magnussen kicks my balls in. Oh thank fucking god I can go back." The words didn't quite fit with his anger and misery, but they were genuinely meant.

  
“No…” It was out before Jim could stop it and he clenched his hands at his sides as he resisted the urge to reach out and shake Sebastian for being so stupid. “I don’t want to see you again. Do you still not fucking get it?” Jim thought he was going to be sick but he was desperate now and not trying to mitigate the damage. “It’s not about Sherlock it’s just that I can’t fucking stand you. The – the only reason I was with you was because of Magnussen. It was just orders. Now I’ve gotten what I want and I don’t _need_ you anymore. What did you – did you really think it was a fucking coincidence that I ended up as your bunk mate? What – what kind of normal person lets someone else hurt them over and over again and still keeps coming back like a well behaved dog? It wasn’t real. It was just an act. I – I hated you the whole time and I never want to fucking see you again. Go to Eton, I don’t _want you.”_ Jim was shaking and trying to keep from losing his shit here, he just had to hold out until this conversation was finished and he could go – drown himself in the bath or something.

  
"Shhh, shhh, fuck Jim calm down." Sebastian reached forward and took his shoulders, holding them and gently stroking them, "Alright, alright. What's fucking happened? Is it Mags? Has he contacted you?" He couldn't get his head around it, couldn't get his head around any of it apart from the fact that Jim was clearly upset, and freaked out and acting strangely. "What have you taken and who gave it to you? I'm not making any decisions about Eton or any fucking thing until you tell me what the fuck is going on and where the hell this is all coming from."

  
“Don’t fucking tell me to calm down!” Jim wrenched his shoulders away and stumbled back a few steps. “I already told you what’s happened, please don’t pretend you didn’t hear me – this kind of denial is pathetic. I sucked Holmes off – I had his cock in my mouth and I loved it. I don’t want you, I was lying and pretending. Why – why would I want you? You’re a bully and you’re stupid and weak. Everything was to manipulate you into bringing me here. That scene with my dad and the Sergeant was panned, I agreed to it. I understand this is a lot to get your thick head around but this is not ‘all of a sudden’ for me. Don’t you fucking get it?” Jim tried to shut down, go cold and angry to make it harder for Sebastian to reach him. Eventually he’d give up. This was so much more difficult than he thought it would be, he’d assumed Sebastian would go mad with jealousy but he had to go and be fucking logical. So Jim hit him, shoved him really, trying to goad the boy into hitting him back.

  
It was crazy and it was insane but the message was definitely starting to get through and Sebastian stumbled backwards starting to look hurt and angry rather than concerned. "You planned it? With your dad? And did you plan afterwards as well - all the hugging and holding and crying - _fuck_  I must have looked weak..." There was a bit too much confusion and sadness mixed up right now for him to want to attack Jim. For some reason this was hitting him in a new way, twisting his insides up rather than just unleashing his anger. Trembling he looked at Jim and said, "Right. Right. Fine. Message understood. Listen to this." Striding out of the room he opened the door to the dining room, leaving it open as he announced, "I've been having a think, father, and you know what? I think I will go back to Magnussen's school after all. And unfortunately Jim's just told me he has to leave tomorrow straight after lunch. After all, his father is there waiting for him."

  
Jim watched Sebastian stride back into the dining room, watched him through the open doors and fucking shattered as soon as he had his back to Jim. He didn’t really give a fuck if Mycroft or anyone else saw his face just so long as Sebastian couldn’t. Did that count as hate then, wanting him to go back to his da? His face twisted up and a tear slipped before he could blink it away and Jim turned sharply and left to go to his room, not wanting anyone to see him break down any further. He hoped Mycroft was happy anyway. Jim was afraid for Seb now though, worried that he wouldn’t be safe at the school even if they had a falling out and Magnussen was unlikely to target him. Jim would be perfect for Mags and then maybe he wouldn’t even need to worry about it.

  
He'd sort of hoped Jim might say something, but there was no sound from behind him until Jim left. His father scowled at him, "For gods sake Sebastian, can't you make your mind up? Sit down and finish eating." Mycroft gave him a look but Sebastian just ignored him, poking at his food and then standing up with an "Apologies father, I'm not feeling very well." With that he left the room, growling as he got into the hallway and immediately charging up the stairs to Sherlock's room, knocking frantically on the door, annoyed that it was locked, "Open up you fucker, open up so I can rip your fucking head off." Perhaps unsurprisingly, there was no response from inside. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: drug use, kissing between an adult and a minor


	15. I Won't Break Anything Else, I Promise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Awesome, part one is complete! This series will have four parts and just a reminder the whole story is already finished. I have to edit and format but everything is written. I hope you have enjoyed it so far!

Jim spent the rest of the night not crying because it would make his eyes puffy and red and that would look suspicious the next day. He didn’t really understand all that he was giving up because he’d never gotten to experience any of it fully in the first place. He couldn’t miss what he’d never had and all that. Jim had gotten soft and spoiled and it wouldn’t happen again. Jim didn’t come out of his room the next day, waiting for a knock on the door to tell him that someone was taking him back to the school. He was packed and dressed in his own clothes, the beautiful suits and other clothes Serephine bought him hung up in the wardrobe, perfectly cared for – but he wouldn’t be taking them with him. It wasn’t right and he didn’t have any use for them at school anyway. The USB drive from Mycroft was kept safe in his pocket and Jim just laid curled up in bed fully dressed and staring at the wall while he waited for his ride. He didn’t normally celebrate Christmas much but this was definitely a new low. Finally the knock came and Jim stood slowly, picked up his duffle and unlocked his door, not feeling very surprised to see John there. “Thank you for driving all the way out here, you didn’t have to do that.”

  
"It's fine. I got a call from Mycroft." John said, looking at Jim a little sadly, "I heard you and Sebastian had a bit of a falling out and, well, I didn't think he'd be up to sending you back with a driver." He watched as Jim picked up his belongs and then gave his hair a quick ruffle, "Well... I hope you managed to have a bit of a break at least. You're more than welcome to spend the rest of Christmas with me, I mean, we don't have to go back to the school. We could book into a bed and breakfast? Have a city break maybe? You wouldn't be able to really do anything, not in this weather without any money, but it'll be more comfortable than the medical rooms."

  
“What did Mycroft say?” Jim side eyed John warily, figuring he probably hadn’t told John about the drugs or making out with John’s boyfriend or whatever he was or else the man wouldn’t look nearly so cheerful. He had a terrible hangover today and it didn’t help his mood. “Thank you but I don’t think that’s a good idea. I have something I need to give to Magnussen as soon as possible.” Jim needed to put distance between him and John fast if he wanted to keep the man out of all of the shit in his life and that definitely meant no holidays away together. “The medical rooms will be perfectly comfortable, thank you.” Jim was genuine and polite but he was distant and quiet.

  
"Mycroft said you'd had an argument and Sebastian had told you to leave." John took Jim's bags unhappily, he'd rather hoped the boy would be pleased at the idea of getting away for a bit, and it certainly would've been good for him. Instead it was straight back to the school. He headed out the door, hesitating as he saw Sherlock, who'd come to say goodbye, at the end of the corridor. "Um." He wet his lips, "Good afternoon Holmes. I'm just here to pick up Jim, take him back to school."

  
Jim could tell that John was disappointed but it really was for the best. If John couldn’t back off maybe he’d tell him the same thing he told Sebastian about him and Sherlock. John wouldn’t want anything to do with Jim after that. Jim saw Sherlock standing at the end of the hall and was pleased to see that Sherlock didn’t look bruised. “What do you want, a kiss goodbye?” He grumbled out sarcastically.

  
John frowned as he heard what Jim said, "A ... what sorry?" Sherlock looked at them both and then looked at the wall, "No. I - I didn't. Never mind. Enjoy school. Watson, nice to see you. I'm sorry you didn't get your payrise." And with that he scuttled off back down the hall.

John stared after him for a bit and then shook his head, "Right. I suspect you told him that, yes? Although... I don't think I told you. Anyway. Let's go shall we? Got everything you need?"

  
“It was – um, sarcasm. You know, because he’s not the friendliest person.” Jim felt bad suddenly, John was bound to find out either through Sebastian and the school gossip mill or from Magnussen when he heard it from Mycroft or – fuck who knew that man just seemed to know everything. “You should be getting money for taking care of me, aren’t you? Is that not enough?” Jim felt his chest tighten uncomfortably, “I’m coming into some money soon, I’ll pay you back I promise.” He shook his head, scolding himself for letting those old insecurities come up again. “Let’s go. I don’t need to say goodbye to anyone.”

  
"What? Oh look, it's fine. I didn't foster you to earn money; and that money more than covers everything I need for you. I just, well, Magnussen's a tough bastard to get anything out of. I don't need much." He forced a smile, his eyes following the corridor Sherlock had vanished down, "Are you sure you don't want to say a final goodbye to Sebastian?" He tried helplessly, trailing after Jim towards the front door, "I mean, whatever happened surely can't have been that bad and you will still be together in the same dormitory - it might be best if you can get along."

  
“You don’t need to spend much on me – everything is mostly covered by the school but if you ever need anything for yourself you can use the money you’re getting for me, I have everything I need.” Jim went ahead and wanted to get out the door before anyone else could stop them and mention the night before. “It really really could have been that bad, and I don’t want to make up with him. That would completely defeat the purpose. Stupid bastard was supposed to be headed to Eton.”

  
"Eton? Why would Sebastian Moran go to Eton?" John looked incredulous, "His father's been trying to persuade him for years, it would take some sort of supernatural force to get Sebastian Moran into Eton." He stopped as he saw that Jim was serious, and not himself, and headed to the car, opening the boot and putting Jim's bag into it.

He hesitated as Serephine Moran, respendant in a bright red cocktail dress and golden heels, tottered out at a high speed wobble, throwing her arms around Jim and infolding him in a large pink cashmere shawl, "Jim! Darling! Leaving already it's _such_ a pity." She wrapped her arms around John as well, who cleared his throat awkwardly as she kissed his cheak, leaving lipstick behind, "Oh my poor boy, I heard about your tiff with Sebastian. Please don't worry - he's stubborn and silly - he takes after his father. I know the two of you will muddle through it. I forgot to give you your Christmas present darling, here." She pushed a small box into his hand, wrapped up in golden metallic paper with a bow. "Now don't complain, please, not after leaving all your clothes behind." She winked at him. "Have a safe drive back Dr Watson!"

  
“I wanted him to do it, he agreed to it and everything then changed his mind.” Jim flinched when Serephine hugged him and shook his head when she tied to give him the package, “Please, I’m not dating your son anymore it really wouldn’t be appropriate. I’m sure he told you what I did, I don’t mean to seem ungrateful but I really don’t deserve or want anything.” Jim desperately wished she would stop showering him with gifts when he already felt guilty enough. He smirked suddenly, “Unless it’s poison. Maybe a live grenade? Didn’t you tell me if I fucked him over they’d never find my body?”

  
"If I only gave people gifts when they dated my son I'd never be able to buy anything." She replied archly, and smirked back at his words, "My darling boy - I'll save my poisons if you damage him before next term, and I would never use anything as coarse as a live grenade. Blowing up bodies is a very messy business. Now take the gift, it'll be useful. If you don't take it I'll give it to Dr Watson here and make him give it to you and I don't think the poor man could stand the shame."

  
Jim hesitated for another few moments and then finally took the box and muttered, “Thank you very much for your hospitality.” Before turning and quickly getting in the car so that he wouldn’t have to talk to her anymore. She’d been so lovely and – anyway, it was all for the best. Jim couldn’t have ties to people. He sat in the front seat and curled up with his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around his legs while he rested his chin on his knees. “Your break has been good? We saw about the newspaper article. I can’t believe you really did it, thank you for getting him fired.” Jim was of course talking about the sergeant and it had been his doing more than John’s but he thought the man deserved something.

  
Serephine blew them a kiss then toddled back to the house, while John shook his head again and started to head off. "I'm guessing that was Sebastian's mother? She looks a bit like him. Certainly almost as unstoppable and determined." He gave a smile as Jim mentioned the sergeant. "Yes, well, I think you might have had more to do with that than me. I'm pleased he's gone, anyway. He caused a lot of trouble. His replacement starts next week."

  
Jim smiled a little, “Yeah, she’s wonderful…” before letting the moment go and buckling himself into the seat. “Er – yeah. I might have. Still that was… really decent of you to do. I’ll stay out of your hair this week, you enjoy your vacation, yeah? If you really wanted to do your bed and breakfast you should go.” Jim took a breath and closed his eyes as he rested his head back against the seat. “There might be some rumors when school starts up again. None of it true. Vicious lies, all of it.” Jim grinned a bit manically and rubbed at his face some, trying to get rid of his headache.

  
"I'm not leaving you in that place alone - god knows what I'll come back to." John managed a smile as he saw Jim was looking slightly more relaxed now they'd left. "Oh I'm sure there will be plenty of rumours - a lot of the boys and their fathers occupy the same circles as most of the Moran guests. Just keep your head down and get on with your schooling - if you've any inclination to listen to me." He sighed and gave a fond laugh, "I was watching the phone everyday waiting to hear the Moran residence had gone up in smoke. I'm very glad both you and it are still standing.

  
“Well I wouldn’t burn the place down, if that’s what you’re thinking.” Jim was a little bit resentful that John didn’t seem to think he could take care of himself and that he couldn’t be trusted. “Uh – some stuff changed while I was away. Mycroft is going to get me emancipated by my birthday. I’m sorry I just can’t be in the system with the way things are right now. Please don’t tell anyone, Magnussen can’t know. If you still need the welfare checks I can compensate you for them so you aren’t inconvenienced.”

  
"What? Oh no, of course I don't _need_ them, that's wonderful news." John gave him a smile in the rear-view mirror, "And of course I won't tell Magnussen, won't let him suspect at all, um..." He hesitated and then ploughed on, "Look, Jim, I know that's great news for you, and it's really wonderful that you're taking steps to get independent but... I just wanted to check you haven't... promised... anything to Mycroft. Anything that would compromise your health or safety. Not that you can't make your own choices, it's fine, I respect that, it's just that Mycroft has almost as many problems caring for people as Magnussen and I would really hate for you to gain independence from him just to fall into someone elses clutches."

  
“He told me I don’t have to have sex with anyone I don’t want to which is a step up. But then last night he called me a prostitute so I don’t know.” Jim didn’t really care, Mags or Mycroft it wasn’t that much better. “I don’t get to choose to be on a leash, I can only choose who gets to hold it. Mycroft seems like the better bet by a hair. Thank you for your concern but I’m taking steps to make sure that if anything happened to me there won’t be any negative repercussions.” He sighed and curled up tighter. “This is a good thing,” he said but couldn’t manage to sound like he believed it. “I don’t have any prospects or money. If I’m going to get fucked over I might as well benefit from it somehow.”

  
John didn’t have anything to say to that, no magic adult help to fix the situation so Jim just sighed and leaned his head against the car door so that he could sleep. Before they even got back to the academy John’s phone rang and he seemed tense about it. When he hung up John told Jim that Magnussen wanted to see him as soon as they got back. Fucking fantastic. He had planned to go right away but now that it was Mags’ order the situation seem more dire. When they got back John waved him off when he tried to help with the bags. Now Jim was waiting outside the office with Mycroft’s USB in his pocket, he’d already knocked about five minutes ago but Magnussen was making him wait. Finally he heard Mags call him in and Jim stepped inside.

  
Magnussen looked up as Jim entered, raising and eyebrow and watching him speculatively. Standing up he came across and then guestured at his seat behind the desk. "Sit. Sit there. It's cold weather and the seat will still be warm." He kept his eyes on Jim, his face giving nothing away, his voice a little cold and distant. "You're back early. Without Sebastian. I don't think that's what I asked of you, is it?"

  
Jim hadn’t spoken with Magnussen more than a handful of times so his frame of reference was small and Magnussen was notoriously difficult to read but he could see that he was angry. Which was fucking unfair, but whatever. Jim sat down in Magnussen’s chair and felt his stomach clench up. He didn’t want the seat warmed by Magnussen’s body heat, it was too weird and intimate. “Sir, what you asked of me was the USB drive, which I brought to you. Remaining friends with Sebastian was never part of our deal. My only instructions were to get invited to his house over break and then get the files you wanted.”

  
Magnussen's eyebrows rose at the words, and he looked down at Jim and then suddenly smiled, or rather his lips stretched out over his teeth. "True. That is very true. I asked you to get me a USB." Heading over to a cupboard he opened a drawer, taking out his laptop and handing it over to Jim. "Open that. Show me what files you bought me. It is clear that I was simply not precise enough. I told you to become friends with Sebastian Moran. That his father was important, and we needed information from him. I told you to stay close to Moran - by whatever means necessary. Clearly, and obviously, you were not to know that I meant this in a... long term sense." He watched as Jim opened the laptop and then said softly, "Would you like to try and guess, Mr. Moriarty, what use I have for stupid people in my organisation?"

  
Jim swallowed back his nerves as Magnussen hovered around behind him, clearly angry with him. That was fine though. It was worth it if Sebastian wasn’t a target anymore. He pulled out the little drive and plugged it in, opening it as soon as the computer loaded. He was incredibly nervous about this part, Jim hadn’t had access to a computer so that he could check what Mycroft put on here. “I suppose you would use them for jobs they couldn’t screw up. If you used them at all.”

  
"Well done. I do indeed use them for jobs they can't 'screw up'. Would you like to try another guess? As to what sort of jobs those are? And while we're at it, would you like to have a think about what sort of rewards I offer them. Hmm?" He watched as Jim opened the files, his eyes skimming over them. "Open the documents, one at a time. And..." he reached forward and pinched the back of Jim's neck and said slowly. "When you have opened them all, do NOT destroy the computer, jump up and down on it, then run outside of the hut screaming. I feel that I have to make this clear to you now."

  
Jim had stopped breathing by now, thoroughly aware of how thin the ice was that he walked across with this man. “They are easily replaced so you give them the dangerous or uncomfortable jobs. Ones where they are very likely to be arrested or hurt. Pawns. I can’t guess at what kind of rewards you offer them sir, surely nothing as good as what you’ve offered me.” Jim still determinedly kept himself separate from the stupid people. He wasn’t stupid. Magnussen was stupid for leaving him loopholes to wiggle through. Magnussen pinched the back of his neck and Jim’s face turned red but he didn’t squirm or make a face. He started to do as Magnussen said, opening the documents so that he could peruse them.

  
"Dangerous? Maybe, maybe not." Magnussen's eyes skimmed over the documents, removing the focus from Jim as he did so, his mind automatically reading, reviewing and cataloguing each piece of information. "I run more than just a school." He said eventually, motioning at Jim to keep opening and scrolling through the documents, his pinch grip relaxing so his palm could spread out over the back of Jim's neck. "I run whole organisations, many of them. I control a lot of people. As you know, the people who work for me want rewards, and I will always give them. Some of them want material things, others more personal things. There is a man who used to work for me, here at the school. In order to reward another I destroyed him; lost him his job, his position, his future. But... he still works for me. He still wants his rewards. He has a... liking for a certain type of young man. A young soldier, a young cadet, to service him and provide his needs. Run those files now." His finger jabbed at the screen.

  
Jim stayed loose and relaxed, disassociating his body from the situation so that he wouldn’t show how his skin crawled when Magnussen stroked the back of his neck with his sweaty palms. Jim could only hope that Magnussen was threatening him with giving him to the sergeant and not threatening Sebastian. It would be fitting. There was a certain poetic injustice to it. He’d lost the man his job and now it had come full circle and Jim was the one fucking up. Last he’d heard the sergeant hadn’t exactly been into boys his size but to have a go at the boy who’d ended his career, when he was unlikely to get a better offer? Jim thought the sergeant was just smart enough to capitalize on it. He did as he was told, opened the files as Magnussen asked, hoping for all of their sakes that Mycroft had given him enough information because Jim was already in deep shit.

  
Magnussen gave a small nod of approval as the boy kept quiet. "Can I assume that your silence means you understand?" He murmured, bending low to whisper into Jim's ear, his eyes still fixed on the data rolling past on the screen. "Sebastian will be returning here after the holidays. You will either spend the spring holiday at his house, or with the sergeant, understood?" He made an approving noise at a certain piece of data and then stood up, shutting the laptop suddenly. Pulling out the USB he handed it gravely back to Jim. "There. We understand each other. Believe me when I say I do not enjoy punishment. I am a business man, not a sadist." His eyes fixed on Jim and he gave a small smile, genuine this time, "I employ others for that. Please take this USB to your father and tell him to destroy it. I believe he wants a word with you."

  
Jim shuddered as he felt Magnussen’s wet breath against his ear. Sitting in his chair hadn’t worked, Jim was still chilled to the bone. “You told me that I could stop doing this when I wanted to…” Jim started cautiously. “There’s no other rewards I want. I don’t think I want to play this game with you anymore.” He still took the USB though, giving it to his father was part of this job and he’d have to do it. But Magnussen had said he could refuse other jobs. He wouldn’t go back to the Moran house in the spring. If he had to spend a week or two with the sergeant that was fine. Jim wasn’t going to get Sebastian mixed in with this again, not after getting him out.

  
"Oh? How convenient for you that you can just leave whenever you want." Magnussen said mildly, watching him. "I thought you wanted your father to be removed? I'm pretty sure you would not like me to change your foster care away from John Watson and into the house of a man that may have many... visitors. It is no longer a game, James Moriarty. It is your life. Now go and see your father. Get that USB destroyed, and maybe learn a lesson as well. I am very disappointed that you are no longer friends with Sebastian. For your sake and his."

  
“I understand,” he muttered and got up from the chair as he left quickly through the front door. Fuck. Just… fuck! Jim made sure he was out of eyesight of the building before sitting down on a bit of ground where there was no snow and curling up into a ball. He didn’t know what to do, different options raced through his head – things like compliance, just taking his punishment, killing himself or calling Mycroft. Jim had choices but there really wasn’t much of a choice at all. Not if he wanted to limit Magnussen’s damage and let just his life be ruined instead of letting Magnussen get both him and Sebastian. Jim wiped at his face and brushed off his trousers before heading towards his father’s building where his classroom was. Whatever happened happened. It was better to get hurt by his father than to be pimped out of some strangers house for the foreseeable future.

  
James Moriarty was waiting for him, face angry and drawn, having had a rather intense meeting with Magnussen the day before. He held the door open as he saw Jim approaching, giving him a cuff around the back of the head as he entered, "Get inside. You need to have a serious think, boy, about what you're doing with your life and who you owe your allegiances to. See this is what I fucking _tried_ to teach you, but would your mother listen? No! Stupid cow. She wanted to treat you nice, to soften you up, even if she was no bloody good at it." Grabbing Jim's shoulders he gave him a little shake, "Look, I know you hate me and you know I hate you. But for once in your life I am actually trying to help you here. Curling up in the snow will get you nothing and nowhere. You need to sort your head the hell out."

  
Jim didn’t wince as he his head got smacked, that was practically a greeting. He wasn’t surprised that his father was lecturing him. He’d done it a lot when Jim was a kid, explaining how holding his head under water or his hand over a live flame was _helping_ him. Somehow that message had never sunk in. He should have been more careful to have his breakdown in private. “And you’re going to help me sort my head out by trying to cave it in. Typical. Here’s the USB drive.” Jim pushed past the rest and tried to keep this professional.

  
Surprisingly, his father let go of him, taking the USB and pulling on a pair of workman's gloves. At the back of the room was a small bucket, the UBS was picked up and dropped into it, making a fizzing noise as it his the liquid inside. "Just be thankful I'm not dousing your head in this - that'd sting alright. I personally don't care if you spend the rest of your life being buggered by every man Magnussen pays, but it does nothing for my standing having my own son so far down in the pecking order. You got the sergeant sacked - I think I might almot have felt proud of you for having that much influence, except now you've fucked it up somehow. If you don't want to spend the rest of your life fucking things up you're going to have to change your attitude." Using a pair of tongs he pulled the USB out of the bucket and then picked up a hammer, pointing it at Jim. "That evening we taught your stupid rich boyfriend a lesson - _he_ learnt. He learnt that he can't control the shite that happens around him, but he can control his own reactions to it. If it'd been him there - getting a good hard fucking, and you taped to the floor, would you have learnt? Or would you have squealed your guts out." The hammer slammed down onto the USB, cracking it with a sound that echoed around the room. "Would you have broken, cried, begged? You owe him nothing. You don't owe anybody anything except your contempt." The hammer smashed down again. "I taught you to hate me, that was a good first step. You seem incapable of applying that lesson anywhere else."

  
“This is your fault,” Jim sneered, “Everything is always your fucking fault. If you weren’t working for Magnussen I never would have been brought here. I could have kept my head down and aged out of the system. Instead I’m here being threatened with rape from every man on his pay roll he can think of who likes little boys.” He watched his father with the hammer, wondering distantly if he was about to be his hands getting crushed by the tool next. “I hate him plenty too. It’s not fun getting buggered for Magnussen’s assignments. He’s not my boyfriend, he was just a job.”

  
Jim's father gave him a sideways look, "Did he fuck you then?" It did feel odd, treating his worthless son as an equal, but if the boy was working for Magnussen as well they were technically on the same side. The hammer crashed down a third time and then Moriarty put it down, picking up a blow-torch and giving Jim a sideways smirk. "Remember this?" He picked up what was left of the battered and damaged USB and turned on the blowtorch, holding it in the white heat of the flame. "I see. It's not your fault you're working for Mags, but it is my fault I'm working for Mags. Do you learn _nothing?_ It doesn't _matter_ you stupid little bastard. It doesn't matter who's _fault_ anything is. It wasn't Moran's fault I decided to fool around with the sergeant. It wasn't the sergeant's fault he got fired. It wasn't Watson's fault he got landed with you. But big grown men, Jimmy-boy, they play with whatever cards get thrown at them, and they still try to net a win. It's little snivelling boys that complain about what's _fair_ and try to throw the blame around." He switched the blow-torch off and pulled his gloves off, tapping one against his palm. "Alright, stand still, can you manage that?"

  
“He told you that he did. Shouted it to the whole fucking classroom, I didn’t realize that was still in question.” Jim didn’t have anything to say to his father. He was right. Either Jim needed to keep a stiff upper lip and wait it out until he could free himself from Magnussen or he would have to end his life now. He wasn’t a quitter though. Jim wanted to live, desperately so he would try and get through all of this. He looked at the blowtorch impassively. “I remember. I liked the stove top better.” He let his body go lax and he stood still like he’d been told to, figuring he should just get this punishment over with. He could go back to medical later and lick his wounds.

  
"You were good at taking punishment, tough little scrap." His father said, almost fondly, and then snapped the rough workglove hard against the left side of his face. One slap, two slaps, and he nodded in approval at the small trickle of blood coming down from Jim's cheekbone. "There we go. That should keep Mags happy. One more for luck." Drawing back he hesitated, just a second, giving Jim a small grin and then whacked the glove hard across his cheek again. "Alright then, go and cry to Daddy-Watson. Try not to fuck up again." 

Jim _hated_ himself for the little warm flame of pride he felt at his father’s praise. He only flinched a little bit but he stood still while his father slapped him with the glove and the coarse material scraped the side of his face until it bled. The gloves wore away his skin and the left side of his face was red and scraped raw. At least his father’s hand hadn’t been _in_ the glove. Jim was so sure he was going to get beaten with the hammer or have the bottoms of his feet burned with the blow torch so this was a slap on the wrist in comparison. It was even likely to be mostly healed by the time break started up. Jim flipped his father off defiantly before turning and walking back towards the medical building. Magnussen watched him from the window and Jim had a hard time not flipping him off too. Jim reached down and grabbed up some snow for his cheek, holding it against his face as he pushed through the door into the chilling hospital wing, hoping for some antiseptic.

  
John was waiting for him, rushing forward and giving a sigh of relief as he saw Jim wasn't too badly injured. "Thank goodness, Magnussen was a massive arguement with your father yesterday, I'm glad some of it seems to have sunk in and you can still walk at least." He bit his lip at the sight of Jim's cheek, turning at once to get some antiseptic wipes, "What was it - it'll leave a bruise, but there's no massive damage." He groaned, "This is what I've come to, pleased that my foster charges are only bruised and bleeding rather than seriously maimed. How was your meeting with Magnussen?" He didn't want to crowd Jim with questions but he had been feeling ill for the last few hours during it.

  
Jim’s disassociation had gotten worse through the meeting with his father and he was having a difficult time shaking it now. It wasn’t really a bad thing though, he was supposed to be cold and distant with John anyway. “Just slapped me with a glove. I don’t think he’s used anything so light since I was about five…” He could tell that John was eager to hear how everything had gone and Jim just decided to lie to him. John couldn’t help him, not with this. Jim was on his own and he needed to put space between them like he had with Sebastian. Jim was suddenly lashing out, knocking a jar and a clear glass container that held tongue depressors onto the floor where they both shattered. “Why the fuck do you care? I’m just some kid you met a couple months ago! I’m not going to be your foster kid much longer so you can just fuck off.” He felt daring and stupid and took the final plunge, twisting the knife. “You know I met Mycroft’s brother, Sherlock? Last night we snuck away from dinner and we snorted his coke then I sucked him off. All he did was talk about you the whole time. Maybe you should focus on your own life and fix that shit up. At least I’m not pathetic, pining after a man ten years younger than you, one you knew as a _boy._ I knew you were a pervert.” Jim’s face started to crumple and he turned and ran off, back through the door to the outside, feeling angry and horrible. He jogged off into the tree line, hoping that he could find somewhere to hunker down for a while and that John wouldn’t following him using his tracks in the snow.

  
"Jim - Jim!" John shouted after him as he left then sighed, staring at the floor. He closed his eyes, trying not to see the face of a young man he'd cared for an admired, and desperately trying not to see it change - from an uncertain scowling young teenager to a coke-fuelled twitching twenty year old. He tried not to remember the last words he'd heard, _I'll suck you, you want that? I just need the cash, please, I know you want it_ tried not to remember how useless, how helpless he'd felt handing over a fifty and just telling the boy never to offer his body again. Watching him shrug and turn away, knowing that all of that intellect and vulnerability was gone, wasted and shattered. Because Mycroft Holmes valued his job more than his brother. Now it seemed that even that last bit of advice had been ignored, that Sherlock was more than happy to offer his cock to anyone he'd just met. Bending down he picked up a shard of glass, looking at it dully. He understood the urge - to want to break and hurt and scream but instead he went over to the cupboard and mechanically pulled out a dustpan and brush, cleaning up the mess before it became dangerous.

 

* * *

 

  
Jim came back after night fall because he got too cold and hungry to stay out any longer. The library, the barracks and the cafeteria were all locked up, the only buildings that were open were the ones being used by staff and Jim didn’t want to see any of them so he stayed outside until he couldn’t anymore. He shuffled into the hospital wing quickly, stomping his shoes to clear the snow off in the entry way. The glass had been cleaned up and Jim held back a sigh. He’d spent hours in the woods thinking about what he’d done to both John and Sebastian, knowing it was for the best, imagining what Magnussen would do if John wanted to give him back. Jim wouldn’t blame him. Maybe it would be for the best. 

John heard Jim returning and came out to meet him, not managing a smile but at least keeping his voice soft if a little distant, "There's food in the fridge and cupboard, please help yourself whenever you need it. I've left your bag on the camp-bed in the lounge, that's where you'll be sleeping until term starts." Reaching in his pocket he pulled out a key and put it on the side-table. "That's for you, to let yourself in and out in the evenings. You can access any part of the medical area and my quarters, except for my bedroom. That is private. I'll thank you not to try and enter, whether locked or unlocked." He hesitated, but couldn't bring himself to raise anything else and so just gave a little nod and patted his pockets. "Right. well. That's everything. I'm turning in."

  
Jim’s mouth twisted a little as he saw how distant John was now but he just nodded and cleared his throat, wanting it to be steady when he spoke. “Are you going to give me back? That’s okay. I can manage for a few weeks.” Jim could manage for a few weeks. He remembered suddenly that today was Christmas and he rubbed at his eyes.

  
John frowned, initially confused, his eyes widening in shock as he realised what Jim was saying, "Give you back - God no. I'm hardly going to abandon you to an abusive father just because you've had a perfectly normal sexual encounter. I could caution you against having them with a man significantly your senior under the influence of drugs but really, it's your own decision and..." His jaw clenched, "You have done nothing wrong." He hesitated again and then opened one of the kitchen cupboards, pulling out a lumpen package. "I might as well... Merry Christmas. I got you this several days ago although... I can understand if you don't want it." He put it next to the keys. "Serephine's present is still in your bag. There's sherry in the cupboard and half a pack of mince pies somewhere. I'm going to sleep. Please don't break any more of my equipment."

  
Jim had to look away and he blinked furiously when John pulled out the package. “I didn’t get you anything.” He was determined not to cry over some stupid fucking present. He sniffed and rubbed at his nose – it was just cold from being outside. “I won’t break anything else, I promise. Thank you.”

  
John thawed a little, seeing how screwed up and hurt Jim was, managing a small smile. "It's fine, I wasn't expecting anything. If it helps it's in our foster-carer's leaflet. Page six. Always get a present for Christmas and birthdays." He thought about giving Jim a pat on the shoulder but hesitated, feeling it would be too awkward, and just nodded instead. "Good night, Jim." He left for his bedroom, picking up a bottle of brandy as he went.

  
Jim watched him go, feeling a little less shit now that John didn’t look so hurt. He’d smiled. But Jim saw him grab the bottle – that answered why he was going to bed so early anyways. Jim felt too sick for the mince pies but he had no problem grabbing the sherry and drinking from the bottle as he sat down on the pull out bed with his gifts from John and Serephine. He decided to open hers first and he sniffed as he tore at the paper carefully, not wanting to make a mess. It was a multi-knife, and a good one too. Well-made and obviously expensive. It had his name engraved. Jim, not James. He set it aside carefully on the end table, thinking that giving him something sharp probably hadn’t been the best decision, but she couldn’t know what state his head was in. He thought about leaving John’s gift unopened… why torture himself? But John would be hurt if he didn’t and Jim couldn’t bring himself to hurt John anymore today. He opened it carefully and a pair of gloves fell out. They were black and fingerless but they had an outer shell to protect his knuckles. Apparently John thought he needed to hit something. There was also a thermal scarf, the tag said that it could be worn in a multitude of different ways and it would keep him warm. Jim tugged the scarf around his neck and curled up on top of his bed as he cried quietly in the privacy of the dark room. He missed his mother and hated himself for missing her. He missed Sebastian and he wished John wasn’t angry and cold and that they could eat dinner together or just sit in the same room and stand to look at each other and then he hated himself for wavering in his decision. It was for the best. Wishing for anything else was selfish. He fell asleep like that eventually, the sherry bottle empty and his little hands gripping the material around his neck tightly.

 

* * *

 

  
Sebastian stayed in his room for most of the afternoon, emerging with bad grace for the Christmas meal and spending it glaring at all the guests, making himself as small as he could in his smartest cadet uniform and letting politics happen around him. He dragged up a minimum standard of graciousness to open the presents, getting steadily drunker throughout the dinner and finally at the end of it catching the younger Holmes brother as he sloped off, following him and pressing him against the wall with one hand against his chest, the other hand waving a half-empty glass of whiskey, "Alright, alright. Calm down, I'm not gonna thump you. Just want to know about Jim. Not about you and Jim, fuck, nobody wants to know about that. Was he in trouble, you notice shit, although fuck knows whether you noticed it with his lips around your cock, but was something up with him? Is he in danger?"

  
Sherlock had sulked since John Watson left with Jim, supremely regretting his decision last night. When Sebastian Moran grabbed him and shoved him against a wall he had thought the inevitable was about to occur. Sherlock wouldn’t have blamed him – Jim had been made his own decisions but Sherlock was still ten years older than him and he knew how the situation looked. He didn’t trust Sebastian’s assurances that he wasn’t going to hit him. The boy was drunk and Sherlock was a little jealous. He couldn’t help the way his eyebrows shot up to his hairline when Sebastian said that Jim had given him a blow job when Sherlock was sure he would have remembered that. The man pressed his fingers against the little hickey Jim had left on his neck, irritated that Jim had left him to deal with this mess when it really wasn’t any of his business. Sherlock didn’t correct the misunderstanding. Obviously Jim had told Sebastian that they had been more intimate than they were for a reason. “If you’re asking if he was scared then, no, he wasn’t. I’m not you, I can see when my bed partners are coerced into being there.” Sherlock sighed and was a tiny bit concerned about the dead look he’d seen in Jim’s eyes this afternoon when he met up with them. He could share something at least. “He seemed fatalistic. A little bit manic maybe. That could have been the drugs though. Is it really so difficult to accept that he was faking his relationship with you that you’re considering the idea that he faked a fake relationship? For what purpose? No, you should consider getting over your crush Moran. I’d wager the person you think you fell in love with doesn’t actually exist.”

  
Sebastian pretty much slumped. His last hope, which the alcohol had bouyed up, was that Jim might have been acting, coerced into breaking up with him, but Sherlock's words seemed to confirm that he hadn't. "The person I felt in love with? Nah, he doesn't exist. But I bet he wants to." He took another gulp of the whiskey, ignoring the snide implication that he'd forced people into bed, in his current mood it seemed a fitting accusation. The most likely explanation was simply that he'd been duped embarressingly easily by some whore kid working for Magnussen. Sighing he turned back to Sherlock. "Don't suppose you want me to suck your cock? No? Huh... not sure I'm even that desperate. Merry Christmas Holmes." Letting go of Sherlock's chest he stumbled drunkenly towards the stairs.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Threats of rape. Mentions of past child abuse.


End file.
